"To The Authors Of The Green Haikus"
Those who think they are so great
And criticize how others skate
Should try it first
They'd be the worst

Don't diss
Elvis
When he's hurt
Don't slam Kurt

Those who comment on Browning's baldness
Those who say that Scott needs hair
Should first reach up and feel their own head
To be sure they are covered there

When Scott turns 102
He'll still be in better shape than you

Tara's only young and happy
So shame on you who call her sappy

Those who say Todd Eldredge can't jump
Those who say his spins are bad
We should make them try to do it
It would be pathetic and sad

Open your mouth to say Lu Chen's done
I'll jam her Olympic Bronze down your throat
And when you call Michelle a whiner
Boy, that really gets my goat

However you will not see me pout
If Michelle grows her hair out

And Pasha's trash, I do agree
Also stuck-up, rude, and nasty

Candeloro's a disgusting flirt
Ilia's costumes leave much to be desired
But give him credit; it's a special shirt
Wheras Tonya's self-righteousness makes me tired

Let me leave you with these words of wisdom
If you want to live to see the new millenium

Then only complements to Katia and Sergei Grinkov
Otherwise I'll come and knock your block off!
-Sharon P.