I have received some inquiries concerning the hiring
of my (shall we say) skills. That is a possibility. Fees of
course would depend upon the originality, complexity, expenses, and time
involved in creation of the practical joke and/or the performance of such.
An exchange of services may be arranged.
I have a few simple rules when getting involved in
practical jokes to keep in mind.
First, I do not create or perform practical jokes
which will cause permanent damage (property, financial, or otherwise).
Although, the appearance of permanent damage is OK with me. e.g.:
Making someone believe that they just bought a house in a swamp.
Second, I do not create or perform practical jokes
on people who would not appreciate the joke. It’ no fun if they are
going to be really shitty about it, or if they are just too dumb to know
what happened to them.
Third, if you pull a practical joke or ask me to
create or perform one, be prepared for pay back. You know what they
say about payback.
Fourth, once a practical joke is pulled, one must
take credit for their involvement in it. No pansies who are afraid
to say they hired me to create and/or perform the practical joke.
Lastly, remember that practical jokes are meant to
be fun. That is why they are called practical JOKES. ENJOY
IT! whether it is pulled on someone else or on you.
Enough said.
The following are practical jokes I have pulled,
have been pulled on me, or ones other people told me about that I particularly
liked. In order to save face, names other than my own will be omitted.
The Ford Bronco
One of my best friends used to have a Ford Bronco.
In talking with him I found that you can open the hood of a Bronco without
having to unlock the truck and get inside. This little bit of information
came in very handy a few years later in college. Finding myself in
the middle of a practical joke war, I found that my opponent had a Ford
Bronco. I found a way to fix the wires for his horn to connect and
make it blast whenever he pressed the gas pedal. After being thoroughly
embarrassed driving down the road he did get even with me. See the
combination stunt.
The Scotch Guarded Keyhole
This one is a fun one to pull. It works best
at night and on a night that the victim has been drinking. You simply
take some clear scotch tape and put it over the key hole. The more
drunk they are the more fun it is because it will last much longer and
they may never discover what the problem is on their own.
The Missing Bed
This one was a lot of fun. One of my roommates
in college was late in coming up for the beginning of the school year.
So with help from another roommate and an old roommate who was no longer
in college we made his bed disappear. We also had help from the girls
living in the apartment upstairs from us. We hid his bed in their
staircase. When finally came, we told him that our old roommate came
and took his bed and was holding it ransom. He had to bring him a
case of beer in order to get it back. Of course, he called him up
and he went along with our story. However he had no way of getting
a case to him or transporting his bed back. After an hour of letting
him stew on this, we had the girls upstairs come down and say they needed
some help moving some furniture. After much coaxing, we got him to
come with us to "move the furniture". The first words out of his
mouth, as he is going up the stairs and sees the bed frame were, "At least
they have a bed!" We let that go. We did move some furniture
around for them and were in each of the rooms. After it was all done
he still did not know what was going on. We pointed out to him that
they already had 4 beds for four girls without the bed in the staircase.
The look on his face was unforgettable.
Phone or Calculator?
At my old job I pulled some practical jokes before
leaving. One of them was the phone and calculator trick. Did
you ever notice that the numbers on a phone start with 1-2-3 at the top
and a calculator starts with 1-2-3 at the bottom? Well, I switched
the numbers around on the two for one girl. It took almost an hour
for her to use the phone and discover a problem. Then a little while
later she used the calculator and found one there too. So in a way
this was a double whammy.
I Sat Down and I can't Get
Up!
This works well if you have the office chairs that
have the hydraulic lever to adjust the seat height. It also works
better with tall people who need more leverage to get out of a seat.
I did this one to one of the people from my old job as well. I rubber
banded the lever to the under part of the arm so that it was at all times
pulled to extend or shorten the seat. As he sat down the chair went
down. As he got up the seat rose with him and he could not get enough
leverage to get out of the seat. He finally just ripped the rubber
bands loose.
Coffee Switch
I got this one from a funny email. Put decaf in the
coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions,
switch to espresso. This one can be cruel. From personal experience
of going through caffeine withdrawal, I can say that.
The Greased Knob
This is an oldie but goody. Once again we pulled
a practical joke on the roommate from the missing bed stunt. He had
a habit of coming in after dark and drunk on Friday and Saturday nights.
So when did we pull stunts like this and the scotch keyhole on him.
You simply take the door knob and grease it with something like vegetable
oil. Preferably something not too messy if he/she is your roommate,
because they will most likely try to wipe it off on you or something of
yours.
The Double Whammy
This is always a good one to pull, because they think
the whole joke is over when it is only half over. This was the revenge
placed upon me for the Ford Bronco stunt. I came back to the apartment
one night to find that all of the furniture in the apartment was turned
upside down. After righting everything, and thinking this was lame
practical joke and that it was over, I went to bed. It was a weekend
and I did not have to be up early on Saturday so I was not expecting four
separate alarm clocks to go off every 15 minutes the next morning beginning
at 5:00 AM. Unfortunately, 2 of the clocks had dual alarms of which
I was not aware but my persecutor apparently was. Since none of my
roommates were there over that weekend he only got me. I am still
figuring out how he got into the apartment.
The Sticky Doorway
Once again the roommate we loved to play practical
jokes on fell victim. It’s a wonder he still talks to us. This
works well again with a drunken roommate at night when there is not much
lighting. We placed clear tape across the entrance doorway.
Three pieces at varying heights. He had two more doorways to go through
to get to his room and we did them all. And of course, he got stuck
on each set. Some people never learn.
More to come and any
suggestions are welcome.
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