Don't let the title to this one freak ya out folks!
Wild Bill...
Lorena Bobbit Virus:
Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.
Woody Allen Virus:
Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.
Tonya Harding Virus:
Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.
Paul Revere Virus:
Warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\
Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus:
Instantly turns 1K of disk space into 1 Meg.
Ollie North Virus:
Plays a patriotic .WAV while it shreds your files.
Joey Buttafuaco Virus:
Only attacks minor files.
Michael Jackson Virus:
Preys on child processes.
Ronald Reagan Virus:
Saves your data but forgets where it's stored.
Jane Fonda Virus:
Attacks your hard drive's FAT.
Oprah Winfrey virus:
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB and then slowly expands
to 300MB.
AT&T Virus:
Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI Virus:
Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the
AT&T virus.
Politically Correct Virus:
Never calls itself a "virus" but instead refers to itself as an "electronic
microorganism."
Ross Perot Virus:
Activates every component in your system, just before the whole damn
thing quits.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus:
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
Government Economist Virus:
Nothing works but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
Federal Beaurocrat Virus:
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which
does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important
part of your computer.
Adam and Eve Virus:
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Congressional Virus #1:
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message
appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Congressional Virus #2:
Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't allow
the user to accomplish anything.
Airline Virus:
You're in Dallas but your data is in Singapore.
Freudian Virus:
your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard. Or becomes
very jealous of the size of your friend's hard drive.
PBS Virus:
Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money.
Jimmy Hoffa Virus:
Your programs can never be found.
LAPD Virus:
It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them
in "self-defense."
O.J. Virus:
It claims that it did not, could not and would not delete two of your
files and vows to find the virus that did it.