I think they wanted to get the troops out, get the transfer out of the way as fast as possible without regard to the stability of Iraq. It's a mistake.--John "F-Bomb" Kerry

Somebody get this slug on the phone and I'll 'splain it to him. On June 30, 2004, we have promised to turn over political control to the Iraqis, not pull out the troops and abandon the nation's security needs. Despite what seems to be major setbacks as of late, the war in Iraq is completely winnable. The question is whether we could lose the war here at home. Our enemies are emboldened with every shrill attack on the president; they see discord in America as a sign that we might retreat if the going gets too rough. Yet, the clueless and spineless Bush-haters of the world continue to encourage our enemies. But, they constantly remind us that they support our troops. As if.

War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling that thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.--John Stuart Mill.

Yeah, I know. My opinion shouldn't count because I'm not being shot at along with our troops. More skewed logic.

This is friggin' beautiful. John Kerry is still trying to convince us that we're all starving to death or something, so... he reintroduced the Misery Index to prove that Bush's economy is the worst since the Great Amoeba Wars of 1,000,000 B.C. For those of you who are Kerry fans, amoebas were a nomadic, but motivated band of parasitic protozoans who were atheistic, same-sex cannibals. Kinda like the vision many registered Democrats have in mind for this country. The Misery Index first came into being back when Jimmy Carter was being raped by every single issue he tackled. This was Neal Boortz' response to that feebleness:

JOHN KERRY'S MISERY INDEX

A bit later today a breathless media will be standing by to report on John Kerry's latest campaign gambit ... the "Misery Index." He's going to try to tell Americans just how horrible things are for them.

Well, let's see ....

Inflation is low
Interest rates are low
Unemployment is low and new claims for jobless benefits are going down
Jobs are being created at the greatest rate in years, and a greater proportion of these jobs are high-paid managerial positions.
Family income is at an all-time high, and yes ... that's adjusted for inflation.
Almost one-half of wage-earners pay no federal income taxes at all
Home ownership levels are also at an all-time high.
Fewer people are on welfare
Illegitimate birth rates are down
Record amounts are being spent on entertainment like movies, theme parks and vacations
More and more people are rediscovering their religious faith

I received nary an e-mail in response to yesterday's post. That is exactly what I expected. The "War for (insert baseless nonsense)" folks done got themselves spanked. BANG!!! But...Ethel did have something to say in response to that post on the forum page. Let's dispense with her and get on to things that make some modicum of sense.

Wilkes U. Spring Semester: ECON 405. Prof. Chosen One -- Ethel Hozniak, 11:32:06 04/11/04 Sun [1]

"....it's a war to ensure that the U.S. dollar hegemony remains intact from the threat of the euro as an alternative oil transaction currency."

That is too deep, Zappa Dude.

I'd really like a link to the theory that the WMD's were shipped out on the last Greyhound out of Baghdad. Show us a link and not one to your reputable NewsMax source. At least give us a Washington Times link.*******

Zappa Dude? Hey! This chickie can't be ALL bad.

ONE MORE TIME..."....it's a war to ensure that the U.S. dollar hegemony remains intact from the threat of the euro as an alternative oil transaction currency."

You're goll dern straight it is and everybody knows it. That is, everybody except for the American public. A link to the last Camel-drawn cart out of Baghdad? Jeez! I can't remember. That's fairly old news, Babs. Get yourself up to speed already. If you're going to be the self-annointed "Chosen Antagonist," you're gonna have to start doing your own homework. I think I read that at Military.com, but I'm not really sure. If only there was a PDB we could consult, heyna?

Oh, and what's wrong with the accuracy of NewsMax.com? In a word: Nothing. Your intolerance is showing again. If a given news source leans too far to the right, in your very narrow mind, it is no longer a legitimate news source. Is that the deal, Comrade? In your less than vaunted opinion, if it doesn't accuse Bush of dipping poor children in molten chocolate and then feeding them to his campaign contributors, it's credibility comes into question?

I'll bet you're chomping at the bit while waiting for Fahrenheit 451 to be released on DVD, you stupid, f**king....

Relax! I'm just hackin' on ya. Trying to get your hackles up a bit. I tend to do that sort of thing. Meet me at Oh Yes at 11 am on Sunday and I'll buy ya' a frickin' coffee. I will need to strip search you first. Seriously, I don't remember where I read that, but it really is old news. The "Chosen One" has spoken. All may now rise.

I dropped by City Hall today to discuss mucho exciting things such as rakes, brooms, and shovels. Man, what a glamourous life I lead. You're jealous. Admit it. Deal with it. Any-freaking-way, I'm trying to see to it that this volunteer median strip clean-up I've gotten a few of us into goes by the numbers. That reminds me, we could use all the help we can get. Feel free to join us. If a scant few of us work to make a difference, some rather nasty and painful blisters might ensue. If very many of us work together to make a difference, claims of having broken a sweat afterwards might be a bit of a stretch. Lemme know. Either way, I'll bust my ass out there. It's what I'm used to doing. No biggie. Ethel, what are you doing on the 24th?

I swear, no more digressing. I met with City Administrator J.J. Murphy, as he is our contact person for the city-wide clean-up scheduled for April 24th. Some of us may have volunteered our blood, sweat, and normal drinking time, but we're a bit light in the yard tool department. He assures me that we're not going to be removing weeds the size of trees with broken vice-grips, or anything like that. He had better be right. I think I've got about a three to four inch reach advantadge on him as things currently stand. Although, at my advanced age, I may already be shrinking to a large degree. Does "digress" come to mind again? Yup.

Anyway, I got a first hand look at the flags that are currently looking for owners as part of the Healing Field project scheduled for May 15 through May 31. They really are something to behold. One version has the names of the men and women in uniform who gave their lives while trying to rescue others on September, 11, 2001 appearing across the stripes of the flag. The other version lists the names of the innocent civilians killed on that fateful day.

Here at the adobe, I own a 1776/1976 Bicenntenial flag that wifey absolutely hates. I love it, but since she dislikes it, it hasn't been displayed on the front porch in years. Come the 4th of July 2004, my new flag listing the names of the civilians killed on 9/11 will hang from the front porch of 23 Thompson Street, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. No sleight to the countless fire fighters and police folks (Flag of Heroes) who perished that day is intended. Choosing one of these flags over the other is a tough thing to do. At least, for me it was. The way I figure, the first responders always knew that the next call could be their very last call. And their bravery and commitment to protecting the general public probably should have been duly documented long before any lunatics out on parole went to some far away terrorist camp in an attempt to continue the well-documented Middle Eastern habit of offering nothing constructive whatsoever to the rest of humanity. Why do they hate us? Because being a collection of abject failures for thousands of years on end breeds jealousy and contempt.

I had to pick the flag (Flag of Honor) with the civilians names on it. They never vowed to protect anyone. They simply went to work. They didn't want to be victims. They didn't want to be needing to be saved. They didn't want to die so someone else could make a political statement. And I'm sure they never thought going to work that day would result in them being the recipients of the opening salvos of World War IV. Never will I be able to forget watching those folks fall to their deaths from one of the world's largest buildings. And never will my anger ever begin to subside. Enough with what still simmers inside of me. Heyna?

They...openly yearn for our premature deaths and we're told we need to be more tolerant of their views and their religion. And what I just wrote would probably be construed as hate speech. It makes one wonder why we even bother to get out of bed. Okay! I'll stop. I'll stop. Praise be Allah.

Anywho...the Healing Field at Kirby Park will be going down from May 15 'til May 31, 2004. Get this: fireworks will be featured on the two consecutive Saturdays while the flags dominate the park. Amusement rides will be on scene, even kiddie rides for a change. Gage Andrew will be sure to partake of those.

But...there is still much to be done to assure that this unique undertaking is deemed a success and some volunteers are still needed. I not only intend to purchase a flag, I volunteered to march it to the park during the opening day ceremony parade. Heck! I'll even do a shift or two providing security for the flags after dark, provided that I can do it on my bike.

If you're interested, the links provided below should provide you with whaetever you need to know. If not, you can contact Fran at 208-4141. Tell her Mark sent you and you'll recieve a brand new Yugo while supplies last.

Each flag will be sold for $30 with the proceeds going to the support group for the local military unit deployed to Iraq, local Veterans Organizations, youth groups, other local charities and the Osterhout library.

What's not to like?

RUTRO! You're gonna get me in even more trouble. From the e-mail inbox:

TOP 10 WAYS THAT HANDGUNS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN...

#10 - YOU CAN TRADE AN OLD 44 FOR A NEW 22.

#9 - YOU CAN KEEP ONE HANDGUN AT HOME, AND HAVE ANOTHER FOR WHEN YOU'RE ON THE ROAD.

#8 - IF YOU ADMIRE A FRIEND'S HANDGUN, AND TELL HIM SO, HE WILL PROBABLY LET YOU TRY IT OUT A FEW TIMES

#7 - YOUR PRIMARY HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU KEEP ANOTHER HANDGUN FOR BACKUP

#6 - YOUR HANDGUN WILL STAY WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU RUN OUT OF AMMO

#5 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T TAKE UP A LOT OF CLOSET SPACE

#4 - HANDGUNS FUNCTION NORMALLY EVERY DAY OF THE MONTH

#3 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T ASK, "DO THESE NEW GRIPS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?"

#2 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU GO TO SLEEP AFTER YOU USE IT and, the number one way a handgun is better than a woman

#1 - YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A HANDGUN

You insensitive lout! Why not have 3,000 chicks stand at attention in Kirby Park and stage the world's very first Feeling Field? $30? Count me in.

Here's a tough one. Which Major League baseball team currently has the worst record (1-6) throughout all of baseball? Rumor has it that Larry Bowa was interviewed by none other than Tom Leighton this past Saturday. Somebody has got to scoop up after our police horses.

Me gotsta go. Early to bed and early to rise seems like the correct course of action being that I have a helluva large job on my hands for the next two days. Remember that anal bit, "There's no "I" in teamwork?" I have one of my own. "There's no "We" in termite." Again, BANG!!!

Au revoir, mon ami.

P.S.--Help! Help! Somebody call 911! The Patriot Act is usurping my rights!!! This is freaking worse than Janet Reno burning religious zealots to death for absolutely no reason. Help me!!! What do you get when you spell Bush backwards? HITLER! No! Don't check it. Take my word for it. If Ted Kennedy belched it, it has to be true. Heyna? Run for your life! The Bushies are coming! The Bushies are coming!