``There's a strange contradiction lurking in all this revisionism: the United States is arguably farther along the road to Marx's communist Utopia. After all, the major means of production are collectively owned, thanks to the stock market and mutual funds. The country certainly boasts of an informed proletariat. And, as Mr. Cheek noted, `With our social security system and Medicare, we are far more socialized in practice than China, which has neither.'''--Craig S. Smith

Being that Dick Cheney went and tagged one of his buddies with some buckshot I was counting on three things 1. Politicos and political pundits from both sides going berserk as if political points could be scored over something as inconsequential as a non-fatal hunting accident, 2. The more mean-spirited folks being themselves and spewing, well, mean-spirited gibberish, and 3. The late night talk show hosts having a bit of fun at Cheney’s expense. Come to think of it, Saturday Night Live ought to be a frickin’ blast later this week. Anyway, none of the previously mentioned folks let me down. Last night made for some great television and some internet fun, too.

This sped, Dana Milbank of The Washington Post, made like Halloween to get his point across. Um, whatever it may have been. An objective journalist he ain’t, but he works for Washington D.C.’s print version of Pravda.

What the pretend journalist must not know is that practically no one watches Keith Olberman’s antics on MSNBC, so maybe he should wait until Halloween to make like a quail’s ass again.

Jimmy Kimmell showed a video of Michele Kwan collapsing to the ice after a gunshot rang out and the camera switched to a grinning Dick Cheney look-alike holding a shotgun. Funny as all hell.

These were Jay Leno’s best offerings:

"I guess the guy is going to be OK. When the ambulance got there, out of force of habit they put Cheney on the stretcher …”

“When people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent.”

Eh, typical Leno. Mildly amusing at best.

I know David Letterman doesn’t write his top ten lists--viewers do--but this list was a friggin’ thing of beauty:

Top Ten Dick Cheney Excuses 10. "Heart palpitation caused trigger finger to spasm" 9. "Wanted to get the Iraq mess off the front page" 8. "Not enough Jim Beam" 7. "Trying to stop the spread of bird flu" 6. "I love to shoot people" 5. "Guy was making cracks about my lesbian daughter" 4. "I thought the guy was trying to go 'gay cowboy' on me" 3. "Excuse? I hit him, didn't I?" 2. "Until Democrats approve medicare reform, we have to make some tough choices for the elderly" 1. "Made a bet with Gretzky's wife"

Now that’s some funny sh*t.

Sorry, but I don’t watch Conan O’Brien. He’s about as funny as having a pack of rabid ferrets attacking ground zero inside of your (not mine) boxer shorts..

You have to log in to read this site, but I thought it’d be interesting to read the latest from Lower Bumfu>k Township, future home of the Cheney Safer Hunting Institute.

The cable news outlets interviewed the reporter who took the original call from Cheney’s friends who owned the ranch and the interviews were a hoot. The reporter babe normally does the Health/Living type news and was just manning the phones over the weekend when the scoop of her life fell into her hands. Somewhere during that original phone call she had to interrupt the caller and ask “Are we talking about the Vice President of the United States?” Classic.

The Smoking Gun.com has already posted a copy of the incident report filed by the Texas Park and Wildlife officers. There’s even a link to the press release issued by the county sheriff’s department.

Hey. Some enterprising capitalist has already marketed a bumper Sticker in response to the big shooting accident.

It was rather unfortunate that the Washington press corps tried to start a riot at Scott McClellan’s press briefing at the White House. The shooting happened late Saturday and wasn’t reported until mid-Sunday. Who cares other than the Washington press corps who got their asses scooped by some reporter babe in the middle of frickin’ nowhere who was likely slumped over the weekend desk when the phone rang?

And on a local note, it was sickening to hear our smug and smarmy Chia Kev taking all kinds of unfair shots of his own only because the original shooter happens to be a Republican. Is Chia Kev going to be the first one to use the I word--impeachment--in direct response to an unfortunate hunting accident? He just might. He trawls the gutters on most mornings. There’s just got to be a way to turn this into a scandal. Our next whatever-gate.

Then again, when you consider the way the leftists demonize the rich on a daily basis, you’d think the leftist trolls such as Chia Kev would be glorifying Cheney as a visionary forward-thinking hero. If we can’t confiscate 100% of their income, we might as well shoot them. There we go!!! Get Nancy Pelosi on the blower and tell her to get a new bill into committee like pronto. Under certain circumstances, it should be completely legal to shoot the rich person of your choice. Fu>k, it worked for the Democrats’ heroes in pre-Soviet Russia, so why not here?

Try these reader’s comments posted at an internet blog:

"This may be an opportunity to open a new Global Free market: Shoot the Rich. They are vermin regardless which country they live in. Of course we should take advantage of the "trickle down economy" by issuing hunting licenses and stamps as we do for ducks. There are enough of them to have a year round open season - no bag limit bur must measure at least $1 million. .... For those of you who object that this suggestion may be illegal, just remember that the Rich do not follow rules or laws, so why should we?"

Dick Cheney may have saved the day for those downtrodden class envy losers who blame their predicaments on others. It’s perfection is matched only by it’s simplicity. And I sure love simplicity.

C’mon fellers. Let’s take to shootin’ them evil rich sumbitches.

Cheney’s got a gun.

Everybody is on the run.

This is a hoot, too. While covering the Cheney “scandal,” NBC News got to quoting “gun experts” during their top story for last evening. Gun experts??? Excuse me, but on any other day, wouldn’t the usual big media suspects normally refer to these very same people as “red state right-wing gun nuts?” Jesuz H. Castro!

How ‘bout ABC’s Elizabeth Vargas asking this dimwitted question of a political pundit: “Will there be any political ramifications?”

She’s either dumb like a friggin’ baby pebble, or that was a bit of wishful thinking on her part. Whatever. I watched the big three’s nightly news broadcasts last night. That ought to suffice for this year.

Enough.

RUTRO!!! Be nice, kiddies.

Gonzaga Students Asked To Stop Yelling "Brokeback Mountain" POSTED: 9:55 am PST February 13, 2006 SPOKANE, Wash. -- Fans of No. 5 Gonzaga have been asked to stop yelling "Brokeback Mountain" at opposing players. The reference to the recent movie about homosexual cowboys was chanted by some fans during Monday's game against Saint Mary's, and is apparently intended to suggest an opposing player is gay. The chants were the subject of several classroom discussions over the past week, and the faculty advisers for the Kennel Club booster group urged students this week to avoid "inappropriate chants" during the Bulldogs' Saturday game against Stanford, which was nationally televised on ESPN. Full Story

Yeah, be nice. How about something a bit more traditional like ‘Your mother’s same-sex partner wears combat boots!’?

I was following the latest at this local blog last night, and I found myself completely dumbfounded when I came across the following comments posted by a reader of said blog:

For the Republicans I give it to Brownback as he is the darling of the religious right--they will come out in droves during the primaries to support him. SOrry McCain--your not welcome in the GOP anymore (ask Rush). FOr the Democrats, a no brainer, Hillary will be nominated hands down (or up depending on your philosophy). SO, basically what we are going to have in the next Presidential election is a choice between two party extremists. What the Hell ever happened to Moderate candidates?? I'm going back under my rock, wake me when its over. Enjoyed the site, though.

Brownback??? What the fu>k is Brownback? That’s not the name of another cowboy movie, is it? What in Karl Marx’ name are you borderline apoplectic moonbats accusing Republicans of now?

Off to Googleland I went and lo-and-behold, I went and found me a real life Brownback. Kansas Senator Sam Brownback, that is. Who? From where? Kansas? Why would we glom onto to some unknown religious guy from a state that has horses, cows, corn, missile silos and little else? Because he’s supposedly the “darling of the religious right?” Apparently they got around to legalizing abortion just a tad late.

Look, you do-whatever-feels-good-no-matter-what-the-consequences folks really need to get off of this baseless religious right tirade already. If the bible thumpers hold so much power, why is it that unborn babies in this country are killed at a rate higher than the combatants in the world’s far-flung war zones? If the religious zealots hold so much sway over society, why is it that morality in general has become close to non-existent in every facet of our society? Why is it that Christ can be put on display in a bottle of urine thanks to some wasted fedrule funding, but political cartoonists must avoid offending every other religion? A simple manger scene on a courthouse lawn is deemed to be illegal, the ACLU is routing the Catholic Church, but the religious right is coming to getcha? Some of you people need to take stock of your senses. You are fu>king losing it.

I’m gonna stop your hearts right now. Ready?

Repeat after me: Faith…Based…Initiatives.

NO! NO! NOOOOOOOO!!! I’M MELTING!!!

Rest in peace, moonbats.

Amen.

Speaking of those other religions, if the religious folks that go well out of their way looking to be offended ever run across Fark.com, they are going to be bringing their special style of beheadings to an internet publisher as soon as humanly possible. Click on this link and scroll down.

Just wait 'til Cheney gets Farked.

Our county government at work again. Is it just me, or is mass suicide starting to sound like a viable option for Luzerne County residents? Somebody call Schiel’s and find out how much purple Kool-Aid they have in stock. Wait. I think I have a coupon…

A blurb from The Times Leader:

Hyder sues Urban, county Prison official says disclosure of 2000 settlement amount was politically motivated. WILKES-BARRE – Deputy Warden Sam Hyder has filed a lawsuit against Luzerne County and Commissioner Stephen Urban, saying Urban broke a confidentiality agreement when he released details of a $70,000 workers’ compensation settlement Hyder reached with the prison in 2000.

Wonderful. This one might actually have some legs under it when you consider that Steve Urban has made it a habit of releasing whatever he could get his hands on to the local press as his special way of defying the majority commissioners on a given issue. Funny, those Democrats told us the in-house acrimony would come to a screeching halt once Steve Flood was evicted from the courthouse. Whatever. What’s another expensive hit at the taxpayers’ expense? This is Luzerne County. We’ve come to expect constant tumult rather than capable governing.

I was thinking about Sam Hyder last night in relation to Hugo Selenski’s triumphant return to the LCCF. Hyder made it a point to huff and puff to the local media about how Hugo was gonna be staying put this time around. Nope. No more escapes for Hugo. This is the new-and-improved LCCF, and no sidewindin’ pretty boy, pop star of a sumbitchin’ mass murderer is gonna ‘scape from my funkin’ jail! Not on my funkin’ watch! This boy is minnnnne!

Hugo, you sumbitch!!!

With all of that law enforcement chest-pounding behind us, wouldn’t it be something if Hugo managed to slither out of that jail again? Wouldn’t it? If that ever came to pass, I’d have to build me a Hugo Selenski tribute website. Hell, I’d get in line behind his busloads of panty-soaked groupies and worship the new Houdini.

Hugo…Hugo, we love you, Hugo!

I promise, if he makes eye contact with me, I’ll do my best not to faint dead away.

Here’s another thought I had. If Hugo did manage to escape again, how much of a bonus payment do you think Skrep and VonderTodd would fork over then?

I find it difficult to root for an alleged mass murderer, but in this county it kind of makes perfect sense. Sort of.

I dunno.

Well, that’s enough with making new friends for today. I had better go.

``The meaning of peace is the absence of opposition to socialism.''--Karl Marx

My turn:

The meaning of bipartisanship is the absence of opposition to socialism.

Later