I spent this morning crisscrossing Hazleton, and the afternoon work schedule was a total washout, so I headed on home earlier than would be normally expected.

As always, I was also listening to WILK, where the Lou Barletta anti-illegal immigration legislation comes up about as often as Chia Kev hangs up on an “obviously” intellectually inferior caller. Basically, just about every hour.

After having spent more than my fair share of time in Hazleton of late, I have the solution to this troubling immigration brouhaha that should ultimately please those on both sides of the emotional issue. That’s right. You heard me right. Stupid, old, ignorant me has the solution to the on-going conflagration…and then some.

Here goes:

If each and every illegal immigrant living in the city comes forward and agrees to purchase at least one street sign, Lou Barletta will then offer them complete amnesty.

Sorry, Lou, but explicitly described directions to a job site don’t count for too much when every other corner lacks EFFING STREET SIGNS!!! JESUS H. ALOU!!!

Round and round we go. Where that effing street is, nobody knows.

And the folks in this city who are hopelessly and haplessly addicted to all things negative think Wilkes-Barre is bad?

Oh…but wait. We’ve got crime here. I almost forgot. And if I wasn’t so busy pledging my undying subservience to the elected folk in this city, I might have bothered to notice.

They tell me we’ve got Bloods, Crips, freelance drug dealers and equally dangerous scoundrels lurking directly beneath nearly every fake rock under which lies a key to someone‘s front door. And get this…their propensity to commit violent acts is second to only those who kill in the name of their phony baloney, stone aged religion.

Yeah? Well guess what? Those same types of cretins who disobey whatever laws they see fit are in damn near every community these days. Know why? Because the soaring demand for illegal drugs is so high, that’s why. And until that demand somehow wanes, the supply is going to remain high also. And to harangue any elected official or law enforcement officer about any perceived spike in drug proliferation or the violent crimes associated with it is probably foolhardy.

Which, mind you, is not to say that we shouldn’t be speaking out about the violent crimes that happen in this city. To demand a direct response to violence and the direct and, or underlying causes is certainly within our rights as residents. It’s just that as fast as our police department retires one drug dealer, another one is going to replace the one that was ceremoniously put out to the incarcerated pasture.

If your stupid self, your stupid offspring, your stupid siblings, or your stupid acquaintances continue seeking out and using illicit drugs, this plague upon our society is never going to end. Never. We can replace the elected folks, hire another platoon of new cops and feel all self-satisfied for having done so. But make no mistake about it, the drug crimes will not stop.

One of my siblings got caught up in some of that and he’s paying for it every day in more ways than one. But, I can’t remember how many times I told him one or more of his friends at whatever time were not welcome in my home because of their fondness of using illegal drugs. Druggies? Nope, not in this house. Do druggies not steal stuff when they are low on money and in need of a fix? Yeah, well, I got laughed at repeatedly over the years by my sibling. Laughed at, that is, until one of his druggie friends ripped off his entire collection of CDs after said stoned sibling passed out one night. And we’re talking potheads, here. Supposedly, pot’s no big deal and should be legalized. Rethink that new-age bunkum, kiddies. Drugs is drugs and those who continually use them should not be trusted, nor should they be welcome in your home.

I repeat myself: The brown people grow ‘em, the black people sell ‘em and the white people buy ‘em and use ‘em.

And until you outraged white folk stop using ‘em, you’re just gonna have to put up with the “outsiders” shooting holes in your town. This isn’t necessarily a matter of more or better policing. It’s more a matter of self-restraint with just a sprinkling of good old-fashioned morality.

Traditionalists do not consort with drug users. But the new traditionalists, ah, they always know better.

And yet, they bust on me for drinking beer. (???)

The latest from the Leonardi camp:

August 29, 2006 Dear Editor I recently heard an area talk show host suggest two ways to revitalize Wilkes-Barre. The first, with which I wholeheartedly agree, is to capitalize on Wilkes and Kings and become a full-fledged college town. The second, with which I vehemently disagree, is to dam the Susquehanna to create a small lake. I’m not sure where the idea of damming the Susquehanna originated, but it is an idea that must cease to exist. The following are but a few of my many reasons for wanting to terminate this dam project. 1- Basic science. Rivers cleanse themselves through perpetual motion. I didn’t pick this tidbit up in professional school or college. I learned this in Miss Pupa’s 5th grade science class. So why in the name of science would anyone halt the essential, healing motion of a polluted river? 2- The Butler Mine Tunnel. From the EPA web site "In 1979, an oily discharge coming from the tunnel created an oil slick on the river." "The oil contamination was then traced to the illegal dumping of hazardous chemicals into a four-inch borehole located 3 ½ miles from the outlet of the tunnel. The borehole was found to drain into the Butler Mine system." Interestingly, there was another discharge in 1985, approximately one year after the discharge monitors were deemed no longer necessary and removed. Does illegal dumping continue today? Possibly. Commercials still air from time to time asking people not to dump into bore holes. Obviously there is no predicting when or if there will be another discharge, but if there is, how fast will the contaminants settle in a motionless river? From the same site, "Potential human risks exist if individuals ingest or come into contact with contaminated surface water and groundwater." Do you really want your children exposed to a "potential human risk" recreating in this contaminated lake? 3-Combined Sewer Outflows. According to the American Rivers web site there are "16 sewage outflows that pour untreated human waste into the very reach of the river where the current would pool behind the dam." Now we have untreated human waste and contaminants from the Butler Mine Tunnel! Who will be held responsible if someone gets sick? 4- Potential flooding. I testified at the hearing at King’s college. We were assured that in the event of potential flooding the dam could be deflated in 20 minutes. I’m not sure about you, but I’m glad I don’t live downstream. Can you imagine a 450 acre, 4 ½ mile long lake rushing over your community? For the sake of argument, what happens if the river crest is underestimated? What will happen to upstream communities? We reside in a flood zone. These questions are real. The wrong answer could make us forget Agnes ever happened. 5-Damming the river is not necessary. I am astonished to be told, that unless we dam the river we cannot utilize it. Well I’m sorry but that is just plain, old hogwash. A free-flowing river can be just as vital a community centerpiece as any lake. 6-A tourist mecca? We need to honestly examine what we are being sold. With our proximity to the Poconos, the shore, Atlantic City, the Finger Lakes, New York and Philadelphia — are we to believe that a polluted, man-made, mini-lake is going to become the tourist destination of the northeast? 7-Political will. I’ve heard that this may create the political will to clean the river. Well, that is flat out the sorriest statement I have ever heard about past and current leaders. The free-flowing Susquehanna River is our heritage and plain and simple it must be saved. If you want to create the political will to clean this river — elect me to Congress. Thank You, Dr. Joseph Leonardi Candidate PA-11 U.S. House of Representatives Leonardi For Congress.com

I completely agree with Mr. Leonardi’s statement, but I can point him in the right direction as to how the dam push got started in the first place and why Congressman Paul Kanjorski has pushed so hard and so long for this ill-advised project.

Ready?

The answer to both of those questions can be found by examining the out-of-control eminent domain abuse currently sweeping the country, how it could play into the dam project and how it could benefit those closest to the congressman.

The inflatable dam is not meant to benefit the many. It’s sole purpose is to ultimately benefit the privileged few.

Happy hunting!

You got that right. I realize that I write in too great a detail about my personal life, but at the same time--I don’t care. But, as a result, some anonymous pussy is going to make fun of me for something I chose to share with him? Excuse me, but if I was embarrassed about any aspect of my usual derring-do, would I have even mentioned it in the first place? Some people lack the necessary brain matter that we’ve taken for granted all these years.

How smart is a person that falsely claims I’m a critic, but not a doer whereas local politics is concerned? Oh, I tip-toed around while others fought the good fight. (?)

Let’s stop the revisionist history lesson right here and now.

I was the one that had the unmitigated audacity to get right in the face of a mayor that was known at the time as the “Vindictive Little Prick.” I was chased around town. (Like you could catch a bike with a car.) I was cursed at. I was given the bird so many times, I started to expect it at every turn. I was intimidated repeatedly. NOT! My home was infiltrated by one of his lackeys. My car’s tires were punctured. Twice! My neighbors begged me to stop and feared for my safety. Still others e-mailed me and warned me not to post pictures of my kids on this site. Some warned me about some of his closest associates. Er, goons. Cops egged me on, but not for too long for fear of being spotted with me. Firemen stopped by the block party, thanked me for my efforts, but also split rather than be seen with me. Some people got in my face in a loud and grotesque manner. A couple even tried to bump me backwards. And I never wavered. Not once.

I steadfastly maintained--no matter what--that Wilkes-Barre needed a new mayor or else.

Now we’ve got that new mayor and things are definitely looking up. But, for some pussy clinging to his anonymity to suggest that I’ve never jumped into the local political fray is well beyond absurd, if not downright asinine.

What I did was ill-advised. I know what I did, I know what I went through, what I put my family through and I’d do it all again if I thought it was even remotely necessary. Luckily, it isn’t necessary at this time.

But it hasn’t been all insults. There have been many accolades along the way, and my absolute favorite went as follows. (The author shall go nameless or I might have to fight him.)

“You blogged your mayor out of office.”

Maybe so, but trust me…I had tons of help.

Balls? The biggest problem with blogging in general is the clear lack of testicle matter. Ergo, the anonymity thing.

Sez me.

Actually, I don’t want to hear the stories, but I’m quite certain I’d believe them. The word “nubile” immediately comes to mind.

Correct me if I’m mistaken, but doesn’t he teach a public speaking class? Gee, I’d love to critique the teachings of a man that has no concept of self-restraint while polluting the airwaves of NEPA each morning.

He doesn’t teach on WILK, although, I think he thinks he does. But, while he is speaking in public each and every day, he uses the following insults day-in and day-out.

*Creep

*Moron

*Drooler

*Goober

*Knuckle-dragger

*Cretin

*Loser

Now, that’s fine and dandy iffin’ he’s ripping Republicans. Well, he can’t think of anyone to rip other than those “right-wing neocon knuckle-draggers.” The problem is, he routinely uses those insults to describe those who dare disagree with his utter brilliance--his callers. So, if he’s teaching material, I thank Allah I only completed a year and a half of college. Quite frankly, those weirdo professors I had were much too much as it was.

As far as I’m concerned, any business or institution that would put him on it’s payroll is paying the recipients of it’s various and sundry products a great disservice. In fact, I was absolutely stunned when WILK announced that it had hired him. WARM’s aging 60’s reject? The name-caller? What-effing-ever.

The man who volunteered on the radio to inspect the body of Noreen Clark’s teenaged daughter is teaching young, nubile college girls?

That’s like putting a pederast in charge of a Boy Scout troop.

Whoever I am?

Um…try Mark Cour.

Later