You tell me, man. I’m reading here that the New York Football Giants can make the playoffs after losing their final two games. Conversely, they can miss the playoffs if they win their last two games. Huh? Makes about as much sense as this.

Here. Click on the thingamabob displayed below. It’s not really a video or anything, just a heartwarming Christmas song to amuse yourselves with while I rape what’s left of your minds.

Whatever happened to all this talk about “redeploying” from Iraq, as the Democrats coined it, or “cutting & running” as the Republicans called it? Seriously, the redeployment thing was at a fever pitch when the Democrats were swept back into power and now there’s nary a mention of it. What gives? What happened to finding that exit strategy? Sounds as if a whole bunch of those Democrat hopefuls were selling you dupes a hollow bill of goods, hayna?

Although, I’m not just busting on the left-leaning here. As it pertains to Iraq, it seems as if all the Republicans are seeking is a way to save face, while all the Democrats are worried about is not losing seats in ‘08. There’s a whole lot of political triangulating going on. Meanwhile, the flow of body bags to Dover continues unabated. And, in my mind, that’s far, far worse than invading that sh*tty country in the first place, whatever the original motivation (lies, mistakes, what have you) might have been. It’s one thing to get close to 3,000 soldiers killed because of some perceived threat. But it’s a whole other travesty of a thing to allow any more to die while politicians are collectively preoccupied with covering their oft-pampered asses.

Where once our soldiers were dying for a cause (whatever it was), now they are dying for the sake of the politician’s wants and needs. In other more succinct words, now they are literally dying for nothing. And, unlike during previous military conflagrations, our soldiers have access to the media on a daily basis, so they have to realize it. They know they are dying for nothing. Now…now, we have another Vietnam on our hands.

So, what to do about it? The Republicans don’t want to admit that the war was not properly planned from the get-go, which has led us to this sorry point. The Democrats don’t want to appear soft on national defense and all of that. Meanwhile, back at the sand dune, dog tags are still being collected. And for what? Politics? They followed their orders. They fought for their country. They killed people they didn’t know and probably had little reason to, or interest in killing. And now they are dying only because it is politically expedient? Talk about giving a battle-hardened veteran a reason to be embittered throughout the remainder of his life, as if the weight of his conscience isn’t crushing enough!

An exit strategy? Maybe they should start asking those “boots on the ground” what our exit strategy should be when one political party can’t admit to it’s mistakes, while the other would prefer inaction--the status quo--to making a political misstep. Yeah, what would the grunts tell us at this point if they were allowed to speak their minds without fear of being court-martialed immediately afterwards for having done so? I’m thinking it’d be something along the lines of “We tried, we did our duty, but it’s time to police your ammo, pack up the gameboys and line up on the tarmac. It’s time to go home.”

Sorry, but the way I see it, up until this last election we were counting the number of troops killed in action. But now that the defining moment has come and gone--now that the referendum on the war resulted in a very clear message being sent and then promptly ignored by the recipients, we’re now counting the number of chumps killed in action.

Where once there seemed to be a purpose to all of this dying, now people are dying only to benefit a bipartisan collection of self-serving politicians. There’s your bilateral approach to waging war. The Republicans and Democrats alike want out of Iraq in the worst of ways, but during this sure to be testy run-up to the 2008 election, electioneering mandates a lack of decisive action over the much more politically safe harbor known as inaction.

Meanwhile, back at the sand dune…

To be perfectly frank, when our two majority commissioners went forward with that highly dubious juvenile detention deal, I washed my hands of both of them. In addition, when Skrep tells me the only way we can achieve a really, really functional county government is by hiring all of his closest friends, I must remind you that I did not vote for him. And when he tells me those close friends of his should be paid salaries much, much higher than his, I’m thinking a clothes-pin over my nose probably wouldn’t hurt that bad.

Just to be fair, I also think those majority commissioners of ours have made some sound investments in our future despite the heavy criticisms they were treated to for having done so. With that said, there does have to a limit to all of this unchecked spending, doesn’t there?

Let’s put it this way, when they start resembling me at 15-years-old entering a Gallery of Sound with my income tax return already changed into dollars, there is a serious freaking problem.

It was a good day for Wilkes-Barre revitalization. Luzerne County Commissioners on Thursday unanimously voted to earmark $1.7 million in bond funding for three city government projects: • $800,000 to help turn the old First National Bank Building on Public Square into a restaurant • $400,000 to build clusters of affordable housing projects in two blighted sections of the city • $500,000 toward a downtown intermodal transportation hub Commissioners Greg Skrepenak and Todd Vonderheid also voted to forgive county property taxes on improvements made at the Murray Complex so the developer may use that money to help pay off a $2.2 million loan to build condominiums and commercial space at the Wilkes-Barre site.

Guys, guys, guys!!! Tax-forgiveness is wonderful to some degree. That tax scheme is probably too much for us common folks to be able to understand. Restructuring debt payments is great and all in the short-term, but thinking long-term--they will eventually come due. And securing loans for reasonably thought-out enhancements is fine and all in the short-term, but they too will eventually come due. The budget may be artificially balanced for this year and next, but will that even be possible in the future with the county spending money like a 15-year-old in a musical candy store?

Todd has already announced his intention to vacate his current position after but one term. But Skrep worries me. It’s been rumored that he has much higher political ambitions, so I’m wondering if he isn’t building that glitzy future of his by spending this county into near oblivion. Pass out the expensive political goodies now, collect the political chits later on and let some other poor rubes figure out how to pay for it all?

And people continue to ask me why I don’t regularly opine away about the goings-on of our county government?

Sometimes you just can’t decipher the indecipherable.

Hey, with the council being reduced from seven to five members next year, now, more than ever, do we need to make absolutely certain that only reasonable people who have some reasonably thought-out positions serve as council persons. And, at this point, what good would be served to elect a staunchly anti-incumbent candidate to serve on council? So he can bring more rancor and tumult to the debate? And what good could come when that same candidate has been proven to be wrong on practically every issue previous to this date? And how would we continue to move this city forward when that one-trick pony offers little more than austerity? This is a guy who sent a letter to the newspapers predicting the theater project would be a bust? With the size of council being reduced, now is not the time to be electing people who have a propensity for being less than astute whereas progress and the funding thereof is concerned.

And if a declared candidate is too completely thin-skinned to handle all of my craziness, as you alluded to, he is most probably ill-prepared to handle the scrutiny and guff that comes along with the job he seeks. Would he, himself want to be put through the needless antics he regularly puts people through? Methinks not. Damn, when I think back to what I put our former mayor through, this guy comes off sounding like a baby blue marine. Doesn’t seem to have the necessary mettle.

As for yourself, you did handle yourself with dignity and class every step of the way. I remember when I returned home from a kayak trip this past January only to learn that my exploits had been brought up on WILK, and as a result, you contacted me for the very first time. My reaction to that was an obvious snub. Yet, you pressed on.

And I remember the one tremendous insult Kevin Lynn had unfairly sent your way, and I have to say, if I was the recipient of that uncouth flapdoodle--he would have had a nasty fight on his hands. The verbal kind, but a nasty fight nonetheless. But, you took it all in stride and pressed onwards. His is a special kind of toxic cocktail that poisons his own reputation almost every time he speaks, but that’s a whole other subject.

To make a very long story short, should we vote for a self-important guy who threatens to sue anyone who takes serious issue with his inept designs on Wilkes-Barre‘s future? A guy who’s stated positions on how best to achieve significant economic development, increased retail activity and proper urban planning are medievalist at best?

Hey, he can sue whomever he wants to, but it still won’t make him right on any of the major issues we face.

Sez me.

Merry F’ing Christmas!

Sorry. Sorry. I know… that was totally uncalled for, like most of what I do. I’m sorry. I’m not really some sort of heartless Grinch sumbitch. And I can prove as much, too. Ready?

Last night I was sitting here watching one of my favorite movies--Tora! Tora! Tora! I like it because it’s historically accurate and it spares me all of the love story angles like the movies of today don’t. I don’t really care who was screwing who way back in 1941. I just want to see the attacks and such. Okay?

Come to think of it, the most fascinating thing about that movie is that it still pisses me off when I watch it. I first saw it when it was released in 1970 as part of a class trip in Derby, Connecticut. It pissed me off to the max. But, being that I was born but a dozen years after the end of World War II and was more or less taught to dislike the “Krauts” and the “Japs” as a kid--it’s not my fault. I’m a victim, just like all of you. I can no longer recall how many of those imaginary enemies of mine I killed in the woods behind the house, but trust me…Rambo ain’t got nothing on me. Hoo-ah!

So, I watched it last night and the treachery really pissed me off to the max all over again. Weirdly, I have absolutely no problem with anyone emanating from that part of the world. Let’s just suffice it to say their grandfathers really, really pissed me off and we’ll leave it at that. But don’t get me started about that second Pearl Harbor that recently went down in New York City as I’m not near as forgiving about any of that.

Again, anyway, I was sitting here as the Zeros were fast approaching Pearl (fu>kers!) when there came a knock at the door. No, it wasn’t Saint Nick. I opened the door to find some lady of approximately 35-years or so smiling back at me. And standing next to her was a girl of, say, 15-years holding a small box which had no lid. Needless to say, I was quite surprised. Jesus freaks? On a Saturday night? Is nothing sacred anymore? We’re trying to drink here and the freaks come a calling?

Okay, so I stuck my head out the screen door and the lady asked me if I was interested in purchasing any of the Christmas-themed refrigerator magnets both she and her daughter had produced and brought directly to my door for my reviewing pleasure. Totally caught off-guard by these would-be entrepreneurs, I declined the gracious offer, they thanked me and hurriedly scurried away.

So, I shut the door, sat back down in front of the video advertising box and watched the death and destruction so neatly presented before me with one hand on my beer. And that’s when it first hit me. That’s when I got to wondering about if they needed the money. As in, needed the money to augment what looked to be a rather meager Christmas this time around. Now, I had no idea if that was truly the case, but I sat there practically kicking myself in the ass for not buying at least a handful of those stupid refrigerator magnets. What if they really needed the money, I thought.

An hour or so passed and we were on to the next timeless epic: Patton. And at some point I realized I was anguishing over not having bought some of those damned magnets all over again. And then I got mad at myself for doing so, because I had no idea if those two even needed the money at all. But still, if only I had bought a couple. Urgh!

Assuming that they really, really needed the money, this is the conclusion I came to. I’ve been feeling a bit melancholy lately over the thought of not having all of my kids and all of my grandkids here for Christmas. Again, assuming someone would be going door-to-door trying to drum up some Christmas funding, I’m thinking I don’t have it near as bad as some others may have it. The head count here at the adobe may be off a tad this year, but I’m suddenly feeling a bit better about things. My clan is pretty much healthy and happy, so why the melancholy? I guess what I’m trying to say is we should appreciate all that we have, ’cause some people don’t have what we take for granted.

Although, I still wish I owned a few of them homemade refrigerator magnets today. Now, see what sobriety provides me?

Happy holidays? Methinks no fu>king way, Jose. Ready? I’m gonna do it. Yes, I’m really going to do it, no matter what the repercussions are. I’m going for it. All the way, baby. No, those PC shock troopers don’t scare me. Stick me in the gulag and make me play Bump ‘em Hump ‘em robots with Bubba. Take my Easy Bake Meth Lab back to the toy store. I simply do not care. Make me play lawn dart tag until I smarten up. Bring it on!

You ready for this?

Merry Christmas!!!

That took balls, hayna?

CYA