"In the first place we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the man's becoming in very fact an American, and nothing but an American...

There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag, and this excludes the red flag, which symbolizes all wars against liberty and civilization, just as much as it excludes any foreign flag of a nation to which we are hostile...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."--Theodore Roosevelt, 1919

I just got back from the corner grocery store, Oh Yes. With frightening regularity, I feel like the people in the recent MasterCard commercials that gum up the retail works by offering cash to the shocked employee at the cash register. Only, in this disturbing case, I am the bastard with the cash, while I am totally surrounded by unintelligible folks sporting Access Cards.

I’m the guy buying necessities with my hard-earned cash, while everyone around me piles up munchies only to return a fraction of them to the store’s shelves after the electronic gizmo informs them they have exceeded this month’s limit. Can you even imagine piling food and what not on a counter without even knowing how much money you had in your wallet? What? $29.41? Oops, I only got me this here 10-dollar bill. Sorry, but you’ll all have to wait while I figure out what to put back. Can you imagine being so completely care free and so completely clueless. Life charges on all around you, while you’re only concern, and your only responsibility is waiting for this month’s taxpayer-provided electronic transfer of funds. Frightening.

I recently did some work at a public housing complex that sits in the shadow of Movies 14. And in this particular apartment was a mother of say, 22-years-old, and 5 children overdosing on…I’m assuming, sugar. The agitated mother complained that there was nothing for her kids to do and they drive her crazy. And when I mentioned the movie theater, she was stunned to learn that she and her kids were easily within walking distance of such a place. Yeah, life goes on, but when you’re totally dependant on others for that which you need and take for granted, life seems to go on without you to some extent.

Scary.

“Federal expenditures would be more effective"...at the front end, to stop people from illegally entering our country, not at the back end, by reimbursing states after it has failed to enforce the border." [I] "would allocate additional resources to enforcing the border, so states such as Texas and California would not have the huge expenses they currently do."--George H.W. Bush, Sept. 9, 1999

It did not come as a shock to me that Judge Munley ruled against Hazleton and Lou Barletta. Immigration law and the enforcement of such is clearly a federal responsibility. But as I said before, to say that nothing can be done about illegal immigration except by the disinterested feds is akin to disallowing us to defend ourselves if Russian paratroopers suddenly glide into town, while the feds decide to sit on their hands.

Oh, well.

So what if Hazleton resembles a city in a third-world country within a decade? Unlike many of those that have expressed a strong opinion in this troubling matter, I spend a lot of time working in that city, and I have done so, on and off, for the better part of 17 years. And while Kevin Lynn of WILK fame points to property transfer taxes and the dramatic population increase and mistakenly declares that Hazleton is a resurgent city, I am here to tell him that reverse-gentrification should not be confused with progress. And I’m also here to tell him there are now dramatically changed neighborhoods in Hazleton where he would piss himself if his car ever crapped out.

Sorry, Kevin, but before Hazleton became your “resurgent” Mecca, odds were you didn’t need to arm yourself just to take a stroll. And now you do. Facts is facts.

Sucks, don’t it Kevin?

Judging by the hosts and callers to WILK, there are two distinct sides to this illegal immigrant debate, and not simply pro and con. More specifically, it seems to shake down as follows: The people all for the illegal immigrants do not live on the same communities as them, therefore, they do not know what they are promoting. Then we have the people that do live in the same communities with illegal and legal Latinos alike, and we do know that what they have to offer is reverse-gentrification, and divided neighborhoods within neighborhoods. Veritable communities within communities. And those that have previously run away from the blacks to the suburbs maintain that the Latinos are all as pure as the wind-driven culm, while us indigenous (white) folks are evil racists and bigots. And to them I say, get yourselves unfu>ked already.

Smarten up.

"Most illegal immigrants are not by nature lawbreakers. Most are looking for the chance to live in dignity. Nevertheless we must continue to discourage illegal immigration for it undermines control of our borders...and even more punishes hard-working people who play by the rules and who wait for their turn to come to the United States. Therefore we must enforce our laws, but we will do so with justice and fairness."--Bill Clinton, March 10, 1999

Funny how he never addressed it’s impact on American citizens. Who?

Oh, fu>k them!

Being uneducated and unskilled coupled with not wanting to speak the language (assimilate) will lead to generational poverty, resentment, crime and eventually prison. Face it, these people are not exactly upwardly mobile. Yes, they work hard, but they work with their hands and their backs. And since they steadfastly refuse to assimilate into the larger society, they are destined to remain right where they are: at the bottom of the social and economic strata. And being that race-baiting is such a lucrative and growing industry, they will be taught to hate the people “keeping” them on the bottom, the evil indigenous (white) folks.

So, sometime in the near future, the blacks will hate the whites, the Latinos will hate the blacks, the blacks will hate right back at ‘em, the whites will have no choice but to join in, and then those very same feds that created the problems in the first place will send us all to mandatory diversity seminars. And then forced sexual harassment training. And then they’ll tax people extra for not being poor. And then they’ll segregate the smokers.

But, if they protected our borders and enforced the immigration laws that have been on the books for some time, we wouldn’t be having a conversation about illegal immigration, i.e., the unabated invasion. Nope, if our self-neutered “lawmakers” actually did their jobs, we’d all be arguing about football or something. If Kanjorski and the boys, Pelosi and the girls, or our president actually gave a flying fu>k about you and I, we’d still be trying to figure out whether or not UFOs snagged Jimmy Hoffa.

"We have the most generous immigration policy, but what is a concern is when illegal immigrants come and undermine a variety of the systems that work in order to make our society function."--Madeleine Albright, 4/14/98

Yeah, undermine a variety of systems. According to those who have shamefully politicized the illegal immigration debate, none of our “systems” are being undermined. This comes from either staunchly partisan politics, or abject stupidity, but still it comes. And I’ve got the frightened white people from the ’burbs on my radio telling me what’s going on in my neighborhood, telling me what’s happening on my police scanner, telling me what the deal is at my neighborhood grocery store and telling me what’s up at the emergency room less than a mile from my front door. And not a single one of them in their comfy semi-gated worlds knows what they’re yammering on and on about. Trust me, trying, but failing to analyze urban decay and reverse-gentrification from afar is like trying to tell me how it feels when I get punched in the head.

"We share a 2,000-mile boundary with Mexico and a common concern to stem the flow of illegal immigrants to America. We must have secure borders and strong border control. We must return illegal aliens to their homes, especially criminal aliens."--Al Gore, Aug. 27, 1999

And we’ve got Steve Corbett on WILK, always quick to hit you with his disqualifier that supposedly tears the guts right out of your “uninformed” opinion, some tired bit about living in California for 5 years while being surrounded by illegal aliens. So, if it was so great, go back. What’s one more clueless gringo screwing up a totally screwed-up state?

Dork, we’ve ain’t got a gazillion acres of crops to pick in NEPA. And, no, I don’t care how high the price of tomatoes goes. What a lame comeback. If we close the borders, we’ll have to pay more for rutabagas? If we maintain our sovereignty, if we protect our culture, the procuring of radishes will be beyond my economic means? Vegetables? That’s all you’ve got? Fu>king vegetables?

"We should strengthen our immigration laws to prevent the importation of foreign wages and working conditions. We should make it illegal for employers to lay off Americans and then fill their jobs by bringing in workers from overseas. Any U.S. employer who wishes to hire from abroad--even for temporary jobs--should have to recruit U.S. workers first. And we should end the unskilled immigration that competes with young Americans just entering the job market."--Ted Kennedy, Feb. 8, 1996

Look, when some pillow-biter from say, Dallas, tells you what it’s like in your own neighborhood, you have to summarily dismiss that claptrap without even thinking or blinking. When the guy from Plains tells you that our borders should be as wide-open as our wallets, look him straight in the eye and say, “Just wait, your town is next.”

When I was a kid, we visited an orchard in Goshen, New York. It was a quaint little hamlet close to a major, major thoroughfare, but basically in the middle of nowhere. It had ancient homes sporting ancient-looking craftsmanship, and the people in that town could only be described as being outwardly friendly. Thirty years later I drove a 26-foot straight job into that tiny town and I was shocked by what I encountered. It was run-down, it was dirty-looking and it seemed as if I had taken a wrong turn somewhere in south Texas. It’s Mayberry R.F.D.-like quality was replaced with something that I wouldn’t have wanted in my adopted hometown. And here I am, less than 15 years later watching that same process repeat itself in North Wilkes-Barre. Where friendly waves and “hellos” are replaced with blank stares and looks of suspicion. Where the indigenous folks tend to their flowers out front, and the newer folks trample them underfoot by night. Where the kids once tossed eggs and ran like hell, now the kids spray paint all over other people’s properties. Where kids once scrambled when an adult raised his voice at them, but where the adults are now too frightened to yell at the menacing in-your-face transplants, legal or otherwise.

It may have taken a while, but our neighborhoods are now going the way of Goshen, circa 1995. Yet, the white folks that ran away from the urban setting keep telling me I’m seeing things. Yep, the rapidly aging potheads are just too damned smart for me.

"We must return immigration to a logical, orderly process where people fill out their applications and wait for approval. We must make sure illegal immigrants stop storming our borders. We must establish the correct criteria, such as our need for certain job skills or education, for granting the right to immigrate into the United States."--H. Ross Perot, Sept. 12, 1996

I know, I know. I’m white, so my obviously biased opinion doesn’t count? Right, Steve? Right, Kevin? And much unlike you two Geritol Warriors, I believe the United States should protect it’s sovereignty, it’s borders and it’s culture. I believe this is the best place to live and we need not be overrun by any other peoples, poor or not. I believe that what we have here should be maintained, that is, tweaked only in controlled increments. If what I wanted was to live in another country, I’d freaking uproot the family and go there. But I don’t want to live in another country with varying cultures within a culture. And for that, you call me a racist? You insult me and give price projections for farm crops?

Then again, I wasn’t at Woodstock, so what do I know? Peace out, my fellow freaks.

"But the simple truth is that we've lost control of our own borders, and no nation can do that and survive."--Ronald Reagan, June 14, 1984

Yeah, survivability. Who cares? Well, apparently the oft-effeminate left doesn’t care, so long as they win the next election. Likewise, the business-friendly right doesn’t seem to care, so long as they win the next election. The feds don’t care as they lack the moral fortitude to do what’s right and defend the country they are sworn to protect.

But I never licked acid-tainted stamps so as to escape reality, so I figure I had better shut up, pay my taxes and pretend that my newest of neighbors are just swell. Yeah, I’m a gonna pretend that they are the best thing since sliced cocaine. I’ll forget the fact that they pick and choose between laws, that they rarely, if ever, secure building permits before turning 1-family homes into multi-family communes. No, I didn’t notice that the women shop with Access Cards, while the men tend to their below-the-radar contracting businesses. No, I did not see the local roofer doling out this week’s payroll in cash. Nope. I’m indigenous, I’m white and I’m too completely stupid to know what’s going on around me.

If you really want to know what’s afoot in my neighborhood, call WILK, so Steve and Kevin can tell you. They are enlightened.

Or, so they say.

"In 1917 the total number of Americans passed 100 million, after three full centuries of steady growth. In 1967 - just half a century later - the 200 million mark was passed. If the present rate of growth continues, the third hundred million persons will be added in roughly a thirty-year period. This means that by the year 2000, or shortly thereafter, there will be more than 300 million Americans.

The growth will produce serious challenges for out society. I believe that many of our present social problems may be related to the fact that we have had only fifty years in which to accommodate the second hundred million Americans..."--Richard Nixon, July 18, 1969

Lou Barletta is newly-ordained the anti-Christ?

Methinks not.

Don’t listen to Kevin and Steve demonizing him to the umpteenth degree, because all they are doing is playing partisan politics. They are both lying to you. And they are lying to you because they both fear that Lou Barletta might one day unseat Paul Kanjorski. They don’t care about the plight of you or I or any illegal or legal aliens. All they care about is playing partisan politics. Paul must remain entrenched, and Lou must be thoroughly discredited.

Meanwhile, Nord End, as are many other local communities in this area, are fast becoming third-world barrios where people are no longer content with having just one deadbolt on the front door.

And according to them, the aging do-gooder know-it-alls, that’s a good thing. No matter what, diversity is all that matters. Well, so say the people the most sheltered from that much-heralded diversity they seek for all of us. But we’re the people that didn’t run away. We’re the people not consuming mass quantities of scarce resources to isolate themselves from that which they seek for us. We’re the people that own police scanners, much unlike the segregated know-it-alls that don’t even need police departments of their own. We have felons and they have rabid chipmunks.

Need I say more?

"Let's face it.., our current [immigration control] system is like a busy intersection without a traffic cop: sure there are laws on the books, but absent enforcement, there are too many accidents."

"Labor force needs and economic conditions are disregarded in our policies. Many aspects of our current policies and procedures are patently wrong. For example, legal immigration has almost no link to U.S. employment needs or economic conditions."

"Sixty percent of our immigrants are admitted merely because they have relatives here. Many of these people are not immediate relative, but are part of extended families. The nepotistic U.S. policy lets in relatives then lets in the relatives' relatives, and so on, creating an endless and ever growing chain of new immigrants."

"In 1992, the federal Government actually issued more work authorizations to immigrants and temporary foreign workers than the net number of new jobs created by our economy. Something is fundamentally wrong when we have millions of American citizens and legal residents begging for jobs, and yet we are admitting thousands and thousands of immigrants a year with virtually no consideration to our employment needs or their employment skills."--Harry Reid, March 10, 1994

Trust me, this is not a tirade on my part. The exact opposite is true. The way I look at it, if nobody else cares, why should I? And if I get to the point where I don’t care anymore, I’ll do like the emasculated do-gooders always do and run away from the people of varying stripes. That’s the ticket. I’ll run away to one of the far-flung bucolic corners of the county and then tell the people living in the real world how they should act, feel and think.

Damn! It almost sounds like I’m applying for a talk radio gig. Or, perhaps, joining the Democratic National Committee.

‘Til next time.

P.S.--Coming soon: An ice cream shop in the theater complex.