When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web.... Now even my cat has its own page. --Bill Clinton, 1996

I was listening to Steve Corbett on WILK radio demanding to know what Joe Paterno is being paid by the state to lead the Penn State football team into battle and such what. Steve was quite adamant and animated as always. It seems as if he’s not going to take no for an answer.

You know, it’s been a very tough year. First, my brother died unexpectedly. Then the Atlanta Braves disappointed me to all hell. Then the meanest of the step-fathers passed away. Then my dog upped and croaked. Then my sister’s honey developed some serious health problems. And as a result, she is relocating to Florida inside a week. And with a disheartening six-month run such as that, many people would consider following the recently deceased leaders.

Suicide? What’s the big deal, man? I mean, just as soon as it’s over I wouldn’t know about it anyway. Right? If done correctly, it’s not as if I’d have plenty of time later on to regret my decision? No time for a mulligan.

I’m not saying I considered offing myself. But, if I was considering pulling the plug on myself, I know I’d cheer up in an instant if I found out what Joe Paterno’s salary was. Yes, life would be worth living again if his gross paycheck were to be revealed to me. With that knowledge firmly ensconced in my swirling vortex of a brain, I think I could go on and live a productive life once again.

In fact, maybe that revelation would lead to a cure for cancer, an end to all wars, and a Beatles comeback tour. If only we knew what Joe Pa earns. If only.

Yawn.

Sounds like a plan.

Ah, the naked, tyrannical leftist.

Typical freaking commie-inspired know-it-all. Typical societal latitudinarian turned communal control freak. Freaking typical of the tyrannical white intelligentsia. Typical, typical, typical. Recalcitrancy turned authoritarianism with the arrival of the twilight years.

Do as I say, not as I do.

I drank too much, brawled too much, smoked too much and carried a loaded firearm while drinking. And that’s exactly why you should not be allowed to do what I did. Because it was stupid. And stupidity in not allowed, except, in my case.

More contemptible phlegm on my imported radio.

I did a warn a certain city council legend that this sort of legislation did not sound constitutional to me.

ATLANTA — Georgia's top court overturned a state law Wednesday that banned registered sex offenders from living within 1,000 feet of schools, churches and other areas where children congregate. "It is apparent that there is no place in Georgia where a registered sex offender can live without being continually at risk of being ejected," read the unanimous opinion, written by presiding Justice Carol Hunstein. The law had been targeted by civil rights groups who argued it would render vast residential areas off-limits to Georgia's roughly 11,000 registered sex offenders and could backfire by encouraging offenders to stop reporting their whereabouts to authorities. State lawmakers adopted the law in 2006, calling it crucial to protecting the state's most vulnerable population: children.

I did warn him.

While a part of me frowned when I read the following, that “What the hell?” feeling also came over me. The Guardian Angels? In Wilkes-Barre?

You tell me.

The network of unarmed volunteers who patrol problem neighborhoods across the country sees Wilkes-Barre as a new battleground, says Guardian Angels alumnus Scott Koppenhofer, of Kingston. Koppenhofer is organizing the Wilkes-Barre group and has started a recruiting campaign. Some people take pride in belonging to a neighborhood crime watch, but there’s something special about putting on the Guardian Angels’ trademark red beret and jacket, Koppenhofer said. You represent a grass-roots activist group that has been lauded by U.S. presidents and world leaders for its efforts to combat crime and enhance communities, he said.

Charlotte Raup’s thoughts on the matter:

News that the anti-crime group Guardian Angels is starting a chapter in Wilkes-Barre is a welcome development to the leader of the city’s neighborhood crime-watch group. “The more the merrier,” Charlotte Raup says. But that’s not to say the city’s crime watch members have been neglecting their civic duty to be the eyes and ears of the police, said Raup, president of the Wilkes-Barre Crime Watch Coalition. Members of the Guardian Angels say they plan to form a group to patrol problem Wilkes-Barre neighborhoods. Little do most know, that’s already being done, Raup said.

While I believe the Wilkes-Barre Police Department would probably grimace at the mere thought of this more in-your-face style of citizen policing, I wonder, in this age of shoot first and think second, if this something we really want or need.

And be it known, our local crime watchers pretty much stick to surveillance and reporting what they see to the police department. There’s no cause & effect going on there, whereas criminals might feel the need to lash out at them. But, with the Guardian Angels, a higher profile policing endeavor, heavily-armed criminals just might react to them in a very, very violent manner.

And I wonder about who might step forward to join this fledgling local outfit. Lawyers and janitors and retired police officers? Or ruffians, hoodlums, ex-bikers and miscreants who‘ve seen High Plains Drifter, maybe Dirty Harry one too many times?

I dunno. I don’t want to bash a group that hasn’t even been formed yet, but this one gives me serious cause for concern.

Like I said, you tell me.

The word is that Linda Stets‘ home has a “For Sale” sign in front of it.

What’s up with that?

I do not know, so I will not speculate.

Okay, just this once.

Maybe she’s moving to Barney Farms.

One of our local bloggers had a conversation with WILK’s Steve Corbett wherein Corbett was whining about his discourteous treatment at the hands of the local blogosphere.

Funny how that should work, heh? Corbett and Kevin Lynn can call whomever they wish whatever vile things they wish, but those who write on the internet should not be afforded the very same right? Typical commie-inspired, one-way, downward communication.

Yeah, calling us “knuckle-draggers” and “droolers” and such is perfectly fine. Oh, but we’re not allowed to shoot back with the obvious, like Marxists, aging hippies and do-gooders run amok?

No, calling someone a knuckle dragger is not a personal attack. But making fun of an old man sporting a ponytail is?

We’re accused of being phonies with “macho bravado,” and that’s okay coming from those on the radio. Oh, but when we call them what they are--effeminate-sounding--that’s a big, big problem.

Like I always say, you can’t hang up on me in this forum. And since I can’t cut you off, it’s a level playing field near as I can tell. So stop whining, Steve. Buck up, tough guy. Don’t be so damned thin-skinned.

With that said, there is a guy on the internet up in the Scranton area that has gone much, much further with his personal attacks fired at the staff of WILK. In fact, he’s written some really vulgar stuff, speculated about sexual orientations and even threatened to kick somebody’s ass by way of telephone. He’s been at this for awhile, and I often wondered how he was getting away with some of the over-the-edge stuff he’d written.

He recently bragged that WILK sent the cops to his home. And now he’s bragging that WILK is “taking me to court.” And from what I’ve seen, he probably deserves as much.

As for myself, I can’t imagine wanting to beat on the call screener, even though he seems to be a really gruff prick in his handling of the general public. I don’t want to beat on Nancy, Kevin, Sue, Steve or any of the support staff. I don’t want the cops at my house ‘less they need a hot coffee during a cold spell. And I don’t want to sue or be sued.

With that said, when you sling verbal arrows, you need to expect some rather robust return fire.

READY…AIM…

Jeremy at Thanksgiving. He’s really getting the hang of that mutated kiddie fork of his.

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Check the picture. It turns out that the City of Wilkes-Barre has relented and is building a skate ramp right behind city hall. So, now the unemployed twenty-somethings have somewhere to go and play. And very many local personal injury attorneys have reason to increase their saliva production.

Medic 5, 27-year-old with a fractured…

By a 2-1 margin, Wilkes-Barre voted for continued financial responsibility, as well as some tangible results.

From today’s Times Leader:

Barring any unforeseen tirades by Mother Nature, Wilkes-Barre City’s financial future – although still on shaky ground – is expected to continue to improve in 2008. Mayor Tom Leighton announced in October that his 2008 budget contains no tax increase, but is quick to add that the city’s toughest years are ahead. A public hearing on the planned budget is set for Tuesday. The proposed budget totals $38,312,320, an increase of $500,000 from 2007. “Despite difficult financial conditions, our commitment to fiscal responsibility will not waver in 2008,” Leighton said. “The budget is solid. There won’t be a tax increase.” The city continues to pay down its debt at the rate of $1.5 million per year. Leighton said the $10.8 million debt he inherited when he took office in 2004 hit hard.

So, what happened to that “big surprise” Linda Stets warned us about post-election?

Linda? Care to explain?

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Drop these people an electronic pulse and tell them that living in a one-party county hurts us all. Tell these inept people to either reinvent the entire opposition program, or simply resign and walk away.

Tell them we need more than Steve Urban--Dr. No--being content with what he has.

Whatever.

I’m headed off to that most magical of places…the fantasy football home page. Fight nice. But most importantly, fight.

‘Til next time.

The Internet is like alcohol in some sense. It accentuates what you would do anyway. If you want to be a loner, you can be more alone. If you want to connect, it makes it easier to connect.--Esther Dyson