The rest of the family continued their lives slowly, suffering sticker shock in the grocery stores and waiting in long lines for gas and paying outrageous prices when they got there, learning their president had been found to be human, and being so, resigned. Ken realized he was human too, and in Sunny's absence, fell in love with a woman he worked with at the college, and sadly called Sunny to tell her that he wished to keep her friendship, but needed to file divorce since unlike the way things were in old Hawaii, he was unable to have two wives by American law and wished to marry his new love. Preoccupied with Wanda's needs, Sunny took the news well, much to Ken's surprise, and sent him on his way with her blessings. She loved him, but had felt confined by being married, and was surprised, a bit hurt, but more relieved at his news than upset. She let Ken keep the house, moving in with Wanda permanently.
Sunny ran from there into an emotionally charged year, succeeding beyond her wildest dreams in her job as she poured her frustrated energy into trying to save Wanda and keep a roof over their heads at the same time, winning an assortment of marketing awards, having fallen into marketing once the research firm discovered her artistic talent, needing her skills to advertise the importance of their findings and to locate new research subjects for them or grant funding. She ran from work to the hospital then at night to the airfield, taking the glider up as often as she could, relishing the rush of the wind, the 'twangth' of the tow line being dropped away, and the silky silence of being above all machines, above all engines, above all man-made noise, and most blessedly above all beeping monitors. The view of the world as it was spread out before her, a tapestry where somehow all the threads had their place and no moths had gnawed a hole helped her piece her scattered thoughts together and return to the earth in whole again. She flew on instinct, allowing her mind to relax and process other problems.
Over the months, Wanda fell into a period of remission, returning from the hospital and life returned to nearly normal. Todd became a frequent visitor to the women's home, having also moved to Florida, finding the atmosphere in Canada intolerable to him. Todd had located Sunny on the Internet, immediately looking her up, renewing the friendship. By the end of the year Sunny told Todd of her love for him, and talked with him of marriage. Todd did not agree, acknowledging that he loved her too, but he was incapable of physically being attracted to her. She flew into a rage, assuming his reaction was due to her weight, which escalated up and down with the seasons and at that time was more up than down, but he caught her arms and held her tight and looked directly in her eyes.
"We have a rare and special friendship that I do not want to lose. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. But I cannot marry, not a woman. Sunny, I'm gay. That's why I left Canada. It's better for me here." Pink cheeked, he added, "And, I must confess I'd heard you'd moved down here and was hoping to look you up. I want to be with you, but it wouldn't be fair to you to marry you."
Sunny reeled back and ran outside to sit and think beneath a tree, rearranging the paths of the ants scurrying over the cypress knees. She knew in her heart he was different, and had known of his interest in men, but it had never occurred to her it was a reality that would affect her life. Todd ambled over to her and meekly sat beside her.
"There's more, you know."
"No I don't know. What? You plan to be a priest?" She was surly and pouting, her age racing backward a decade every minute.
"This is about you, something I think you know but don't want to see." Todd looked up, idly crumbling a leaf and scattering the parts to the wind. "I've watched you too, like you've watched me, and you know that you've known all along that I'm not straight." He stopped and studied her face, noticing the flecks of gold in her green eyes. "I've known something all along too. If you want to be happy, you need to tell Wanda you love her and settle down with her as more than just her friend and roommate."
Sunny turned to face him, "what? Are you recruiting now?" slapped his face then ran the full distance back to her house, forgetting about her car. Todd stood, dusted off the leaves and slowly walked back in the direction of his car, with the patience of a true friend who cannot be anything but honest.
She stopped long enough to gather her gear, give Wanda a quick look see and kiss on the cheek, lingering to take a long look at her friend, then walked back to collect her car, drive to the airport and take to the air to think. She knew she really was not attracted to Todd, but could not reconcile the fact she loved him, and he was male, and wasn't she supposed to love males? And she wanted children, an impossibility if she were to be gay. At least not ones of her own body. Or so she thought. Being attracted to women didn't really frighten her. But not being able to marry and have a family scared her witless, and she could not find a way to make those two needs meet. The easy thing would be to shelve the attraction to women and seek a husband again, her first three marriages all being childless, and Sunny persistent if not successful.
Sunny banked the plane into a side-sweeping updraft, her stomach jumping in ticklish glee as the glider swung around in a broad, climbing curve and the satin kiss of fresh air brushed over her arms. She could tolerate a man, she'd done so before, although she had to admit it was Mitchell's short-lived sensitive side and intelligence that had attracted her, Duke's femininity and slightly softened shell over a well muscled frame, and Ken's girlish build and more continental manners. Was it possible she was seeking a woman in her men? Some kind of strong, manly woman? If she recalled correctly, those were called butches - Sunny realized if she was going to play this game she had a lot to learn. Like, did that make her a femme? And would she then have to play that role? How did lesbians do it anyway? Now that question really held her attention and she pondered that over several miles of airspace. Well it couldn't be any worse than what she'd already experienced with men, which had never given her a climax, having become an expert at faking it, and amusing herself with her theatrics, then later entertaining her needs while her husband snored. At least a woman would know what a woman wants, Sunny concluded, finding that logic much to her liking. But how to solve the problem of a family too?
She cruised through some fleeting wispy clouds, imbibing in their planes of moist warmth, breaking free of them to stare in mindless awe at the thousands of tiny cars and people and houses and gray streaking roads below her, never bored with the view, always finding a new wonder to survey.
She came to an idea and slid to the ground, barely letting the glider's blocks fall in place before rushing to her car to go to Todd's house.
She ran out of her car and stood impatient on Todd's doorstep, unconsciously tapping one foot in her anticipation. The door was open less than an inch when she rushed in and ran back to his room, exited and happy and kissed him on the cheek.
"Well this is a change," Todd dryly remarked, rubbing his cheek.
"Oh I'm sorry about that. You caught me off guard. Look. I love you. You love me. We are both probably gay. I'm not really convinced about that myself yet but we'll see. We both want children. We both want family. We find each other tolerably compatible and pretty much stand each other's company pretty well. I want to marry - a marriage of convenience. You could even become a citizen that way."
"I don't know..."
"Look at the advantages - we could, you know, a few times - just enough to conceive and have a kid or two. If you've never done it with a woman I certainly have with a man and know those ropes and can teach you. Then for all our other needs have a separate life. But stay together, raise the kid or kids, have the tax advantage, put each other on our insurance, and all that rot that married people get to do but gay people can't."
"And a little yellow house with a white picket fence and a shaggy dog too? Oh Dorothy! Well I have to admit there's some merit in that." Todd grabbed up a pillow off his bed and hugged it to his chest, thinking.
"But what if down the line one of us falls in love, and wants to live with that person?"
"We'll all live together - or you and I divorce. It's not like that idea's new to me! It only changes where we live; we still can both raise the kids, just on alternate weekends, that sort of thing." She sat on his bed with a Cheshire cat grin, bobbing her leg.
"Let me think about it. I've seen what happened to my sister's kids when she divorced, and I do think the day would come when we will each find our true loves, so I'm not sure I want to do that to children."
"Was her divorce contested?"
"That's putting it mildly."
"Well that's what hurt the kids. If we have an agreement ahead of time as to how that sort of thing would be handled, and act like mature adults about it, the kids just get lucky and gain a mom or a dad, and don't lose anything."
"Good point. Let me consider it. But I would insist on that agreement." Todd leaned down and kissed her cheek, the first time he'd ever shown her any physical affection. She looked up at him in surprise. "Well if we're going to, you know, then I need to start somewhere!" The two busted up laughing and were interrupted by Todd's mother, who had moved down with him, his perennial, but welcome shadow, inviting Sunny to stay for dinner, which she did, the evening evolving into the familiar pattern that Todd and Sunny had enjoyed over the past few months.
And thus, Sunny escaped her bonds, eloping with Todd the following summer. The last thing Sunny wanted was a formal society wedding, where she'd have to dress up and endure her mother's fussing over her appearance, a plan Todd completely agreed with, knowing his family was no match for the socially pretentious Johnsons. In a flair of spy theatrics and reversed roles they both planned and indulged in, a fantasy neither could resist, Sunny dressed sexily in black, covered her blue car with black shoe polish to dull it and drove to within about a block of Todd's home, turning off the engine. She then pushed her car, lights off, silently into his drive at exactly midnight, hearing the muffled gongs of the family grandfather clock, when Todd stood waiting, with his traditional dab of Old Spice cologne, having also dressed in black to hide from his mother's view, a gagged and muffled Mouse, his long-suffering cat, indignantly stuffed into one of his bags. Sunny helped him slip in the car through the open window, not taking chances with the sound of a car door, and stifling giggles, the couple held their breath when Sunny pushed the car back down the block, then hopped in, turned on the engine and lights, and peeled away. Todd stripped Mouse of his bonds, though keeping the cat trapped in the basket. They drove to New Orleans to the howls of the rampantly offended cat, to marry there the next night at an all night chapel, calling Todd's mother and Victory to tell them of their escapade, then toured the area for a few days of honeymoon, Mouse a now curious, rambling sidekick to the adventure. Sunny even considered making the cat the ring bearer at the wedding, but rings wouldn't fit on the fluffy cat's tail.
They returned happy and ready to "play house," Todd joining Sunny at Wanda's home, the girls sharing a room and Todd taking the spare. However, an righteously angry Victory, feeling robbed of ever being able to marry off Sunny traditionally, insisted they have a church wedding, so Sunny remarried Todd in a church, but on her own terms and after a three month flurry of meticulous planning, most of which Todd did with Sunny in amused agreement. They repeated their vows at a Unity Church, in a rainbow tribe of a wedding, attended by drag queens in fabulous but tastefully stylish ensembles, friends of all races and creeds, dykes in tuxes, lipstick lesbians, transsexuals and persons of unknowable or both genders, and even old railroad men coaxed right off the street with promises of lots of food at the reception. The two wanted their wedding to be an event open to any and all who wished to attend, Todd especially inviting his rather colorful assortment of friends, many of whom brought their children. Sunny met his circle of friends with intense curiosity, Todd having kept most of them from her knowledge before then, precociously flirting with the ones she knew were female, but not agreeing to go out with any of them, her loyalty being only for Wanda.
On the surface, it looked like an average gathering of folks of different backgrounds, dressed in their best for a family wedding. At least, that theory held until you spoke with a woman in a chic Chanel suit and she replied with a deep voice, or looked up and noticed your tuxedo-clad, crew cut usher had breasts. Sunny was dazzling in a red brocade and bead dress, wanting to dress in the Russian tradition, with a cathedral length train and gold trim, her skirts adorned with tiny golden bells. She really didn't think white would be appropriate, so why not red? Todd cut a dashing figure in a black leather tux with a red silk shirt. In deference to the variety of faith, the ceremony was presided over by the female Unity minister, a rabbi, a Lutheran pastor who used to be a bartender, and a priest of the Dignity Catholic church, assisted by his husband. Sunny had wanted an eastern representation too but the couple could not find a willing monk to help out, so settled on just the western faiths and perched a discreet Buddhist shrine in the corner of the chapel.
Victory, Jedd, Todd's family, Dinah, Fred, and the kids attended, Wanda being a welcome co-conspirator in the entire event and Sunny's Maid of Honor in a stunning azure gown, her hair flowing on the satin like molten gold, having finally grown back from the chemotherapy. Though most of the family were a bit confused at the hodgepodge of audience and rites, and Victory beside herself at her daughter's choice of a red dress, thinking ivory would have been so much more fitting, in the end a good time was had by all, Victory exchanging fashion tips with divas, and Dinah making a devoted but polite effort to save the rabbi's soul, too horrified to approach any of the obvious gays, thinking they were contagious, and oblivious to the fact that Todd and Sunny were part of that community, although puzzled when the bride danced with her maid of honor.
Sunny and Todd returned in a rain of birdseed and cheers to Wanda's home, where they all settled in together, and held their own celebration in the company of Todd's current boyfriend and an assortment of other friends in the community they felt Sunny and Wanda should meet. After they kicked the last laughing guest from their living room, patting them on the head and sending them off to their cars, having kept the punch watered down so no one could get drunk, the two kicked off their shoes, gave each other a chaste hug and retired to their separate rooms, Todd with his lover, and Sunny with Wanda in their room. The women had never discussed their relationship, having assumed the love but never defined it. Sunny touched Wanda's cheek, looking her friend in the eyes.
"I've never seen you so beautiful as you were today."
"Even with no chest?"
"Who noticed? I certainly didn't."
"I did." Wanda pulled the prostheses from her bra as she changed, revealing her angrily scarred torso. "What are we doing here?"
Sunny sat on the bed they had innocently shared after Todd moved in, Wanda understanding the nature of Todd and Sunny's marriage, but not clear on where she stood in this trio. "I don't know Wan, I love you. I know that."
"I don't know how I feel. I love you as a friend. I need you. But I need time to figure all of this out."
Sunny's heart fell. Time was not something they had; she knew in her soul that Wanda was living on borrowed hours and feared they would draw to a close too soon. "What do you want me to do?"
"Do this." She took Sunny in her arms and gently kissed her. "A bride shouldn't sleep alone. But sleep is all I want to do. It comforts me when we are together, but I'm not ready for anything more."
Sunny returned her kiss, gently moving down Wanda's chest to lightly kiss her scars. Wanda at first flinched at this, then drew her closer, almost tangibly feeling the tightness of the scar tissue relax and the feeling she was ugly dissipate from her soul. Sunny looked back up and kissed her friend's soft lips again and walked with her to the bed, where the two curled up together to sleep, safe in each others' arms.
Time passed in a busy blur for the trio, Sunny and Todd both developing their careers, Wanda recovering her strength and enjoying remission, Todd educating his wife on the language, history and customs of the gay community and Mouse a flying leaping purring companion to them all. While the nation amused itself with an aging screen star for a President, and thousands of veterans tried to reconcile their nightmares, Todd and Sunny stopped by one weekend to visit her parents, since they had both now retired. Wanda declined coming along, finding her presence awkward now that Sunny had married. Victory had closed the store a few months before due to Home Depot outstripping them in competition and maintaining an out of state business having become too tiresome. Jedd took advantage of this to also leave his job at the defense plant and putter around the house, having earned enough over the years for a comfortable rest.
Jedd, as typical, was working on the car. He never bought a new car in his life, preferring to buy hulks that barely ran and tinker with them until they purred with new life. That weekend he was fighting with engine block mountings, trying to tighten one that had pulled loose. It was heavy work, and he had no business trying to do it himself, particularly without a winch to haul the engine out of the car, which he was trying to do with a steel rod lever instead. Sunny dove in to try to help him, with Todd fluttering in the background.
Jedd took a moment out to rest, where Sunny noticed his skin was gray and cold, and he was sweating profusely even though the day was warm, but comfortable, and the carport cool in the shade. She asked if he wanted something to eat, which he refused. Had she known he had neither eaten nor taken his insulin all day, she would have insisted on both, but Victory was too far in the ozone to notice, and Sunny had arrived midday, so didn't know. He did accept a glass of ice water, which he slowly drank, chatting with her about the car.
He shortly got up to go back to his work, although Sunny thought he should call it quits for the day, she knew better than to argue with him on that, having already experienced his stubbornness many times in the past, and knew it was a losing battle to try. Less than five minutes passed when she noticed he was breathing heavily; she ran to him, noted his eyes were glassy and he was hyperventilating. She screamed for Todd to call 911.
Sunny hauled Jedd out of where he was bent over into the engine of the car, and brought him down to lay on the carport floor. By then the hyperventilation had ceased in an eerie silence. Todd tucked a blanket under his head and watched, wringing his hands and muttering oh my Gods and please Lords, not knowing what else he could do. Sunny first tried slapping his face to bring him around, but nothing changed, so Sunny checked for breathing, found none, and performed CPR on her father.
Sunny's love for her father floated out of her, suspended in a delicate balloon somewhere above, detached so she could think clearly and see him as a patient and not as her anchor. She watched him struggle to breathe, his skin turning an ashen white, his forearms suddenly draw up to his face, fists clenched, then all at once his breath flowed out, his muscles all relaxed, and Sunny was acutely aware that at that moment what they were doing was simply keeping his body alive, that his soul had already fled, wondering in an abstract frame of mind if perhaps she had inhaled his soul during the CPR.
Two minutes later the paramedics arrived and took over, carrying him closer to their truck to do electric shock and stab adrenaline into his chest. Sunny told them he's a diabetic, gave them all the pills he took and told them the dosage of insulin he needed, and watched them pack him up and roll away with Victory perched in the front seat. Sunny declined going too, wanting to shower and change, being covered with grease, knowing it wouldn't matter now if she went right then or came a few minutes later.
Todd took her into the house, found clean fraying towels lurking under a pile of ironing and lovingly helped her bathe, for the shaking had begun and she could barely walk. In the middle of the shower she chuckled and told Todd, "well it certainly takes a lot to get you to see your wife naked," and the two laughed the empty hysteria of extreme stress, while she dried off and changed into clean clothing. They called Wanda then, collecting her on the way, drove to the hospital, to be greeted by Gigi, Victory's old neighbor. Gigi had been managing the store and moved down when Victory closed it to live near her lifelong friend. Gigi gently told Sunny her father had reached the hospital alive, but suffered several consecutive attacks and had not survived. That he had had a brain stem stroke complicated by a series of coronaries.
All sound stopped in Sunny's ears and her vision blurred to haloed blobs, her ears ringing and heart frantically trying to escape her chest. The suddenly little girl looked around the white-walled, hard surfaced grieving room, and saw nobody she knew. Victory was a stranger to her. Dinah was bent in her bible. Fred, as usual, was absent, this time at home in Georgia, yet to be notified. Peter and Tammi had been left with neighbors. Todd, Wanda and Gigi the only people there who had a touch of three dimensions, and in Sunny's blurry vision, barely that. The Pastor of her mother's church she couldn't even remember his name. She sat suddenly, all power bereft, all futures gone.
Cracking the silence like a whip, the Pastor rose and went over to Victory, "was he insured?"
Sunny perked up in slow motion, wondering why he was asking and thinking what a tacky question, angry.
Victory muttered that he was.
"Please remember the church is trying to build a new sanctuary."
That was it. Sunny boiled over, and with a strength she never knew she had, literally picked up the man and threw him through the swinging door, telling him to never come near her mother again. He stiffly stood up, stared at her and shook his head, straightened his suit and left.
Wanda came over to Sunny and put her arm around her, walking her back to a chair. Sunny mutely collapsed, distressed because try as she might, she couldn't cry. A grief counselor came in and explained what would be done by the hospital, asking where to send him. Nobody answered. Sunny once more pushed her feelings aside and took over, making the arrangements.
They returned home in silence. Sunny called the family, her father's friends, his work, his barbershopper director, and everyone else she felt needed to know, to tell them the news. It became a mantra she could repeat in her sleep. Her father had a lot of friends.
"Hello, this is Sunny Stone-Ling Black and I have sad news. My father Jedd Johnson died today of a stroke and heart attack. He is resting at God's Heart Chapel and they have the details on the services, scheduled for this Sunday. Thank you, yes it was unexpected. No, I'm OK. Yes, she's doing OK, he's been sick a long time. Well, I have other calls to make, please let us know if you will be attending. Thank you. Goodbye."
After hours of this she called the insurance companies and the funeral home, making an appointment to come down to pick out a marker, thanking her father silently for at least having bought a grave site already. She went through his closet and selected the suit and shoes he would be buried in, polished up the shoes, and not knowing if he needed them but just to be sure tossing in underwear after a long search to find boxers, an undershirt and socks that didn't have stains or holes in them, and had Todd run them to the funeral home, including a photo of how he looked before diabetes carved his face and blackened his fingertips. She called his favorite pals in Barbershop to ask for their help in planning the viewing and wake, which they lifted off her shoulders easily, her blessing them for that in her heart.
Then, her most hated task, she called the Pastor to arrange for the services. His first words were that he customarily expected a $50 gratuity for the service, and that he required a collection to be included. Not at all surprised by this at this point, she sarcastically assured him he'd get his silver and wrapped up the call as quickly as she could, her stomach threatening to react to the day's events.
Sunny found a hypodermic in the lawn that the paramedics had left and drove down to the fire station to return it, the sun setting over the horizon, the medics sitting down to a steaming dinner that abruptly reminded Sunny she hadn't eaten yet all day herself. The medic took it, thanking her, took her hand and told her she had done well, that he was alive when he reached the hospital, and nothing could have been done by anyone to save him. Sunny wasn't too sure about that, the back of her mind going over the event checking her CPR technique, doubting whether she did it right, wondering if she had accidentally killed him and not helped him. Intellectually she knew this wasn't true, but her heart took on the guilt of the middle class life that destroyed him, and for months she was tormented by nightmares of his grimacing face with his fists clenched beside it, and everywhere she turned she smelled his sweat.
Sunny numbly went through the subsequent events, none of the family able to come save for her cousin and her husband on her father's side. She and Sylvia were changing clothes in her room when Syl casually remarked, "By the way, I'm bisexual. Jim doesn't mind." Sunny dropped the shirt she had in her hand, then snatched it back up to cover herself, blushed, and sat boneless on the bed.
"Syl, I'm gay. At least, I think I am. I haven't, you know, done that yet. Wanda and I have kissed, but that's all." It was Sylvia's turn to stare wordlessly at her cousin.
"Why are you married?"
"Why are you?"
"I want kids."
"Me too."
"How long have you known?"
"Not long. Took me a while to wake up. Todd and I are both gay. We have a platonic marriage, but plan to have kids in the near future. Wanda lives with us."
"Well, Jim isn't gay. But he's in the Army and figures if he's away for months at a time he'd rather see me with a woman than a man, and rather see me happy then lonely. It works. We're planning on kids too as soon as he reaches his next rank."
"Cool."
"Yeah. Who would have known?"
"You tell anyone?"
"Just Jim. And the women I date of course."
"I haven't told either. Just Todd so far. In fact, more honestly, he told me, about me. And I think he was right."
"You going to tell your mom?"
"One of these days. You're lucky in a sense with both your parents passed on," her mother having been Jedd's sister, whom Sunny greatly resembled.
"Not really. I think my mom would have understood."
"You know? I always wondered about her."
"Me too. You ever wonder about your mom?"
"All the time." The girls laughed and hugged each other, Sunny drawing away to look in the eyes of this cousin who so resembled her that, except for hair color and the fact Sylvia was well endowed, they could have been twins, and pondered the fates of genetics. They continued to dress, softly debating other topics, getting ready for the viewing.
The viewing was held at the funeral home, the plastic paneled walls lending a stage set theatric to the mood, everything tastefully morbid. The viewers were filing in a queue to look at the dead father, which Sunny declined to do, stuffing down a rising horror at the idea. The Barbershoppers gradually arrived, over time gathering in corners to sing in quartets, and the air cleared with the music like a giant fan being applied to a smoky room. The facility brought out the buffet his pals had arranged, every item one of Jedd's favorite forbidden foods - shrimp, fried chicken, sticky sweet desserts, fried okra, creamed corn swimming in real butter, crab claws and eggs Benedict, quiches and French fries and a ponderous pile of every cheese they could muster. The director raised his glass to the front of the room saying, "this is for you Jedd, we thought you'd like to finally have what you could never touch in life," christening the hodgepodge buffet.
The evening wore on, loosening with the flowing wine, and evolved into a dancing, singing wake, initially the men singing every maudlin song they knew, then evolving into ballads, then pop songs, then raucous ditties, lightening Sunny's heart, knowing this was how her father had wanted to go. She joined with the men, singing tenor to fill in for her father's absence in his old quartets, and a sad but happy time was enjoyed. Except by Victory, who sat through the whole thing completely not comprehending the purpose of it all, and Dinah, who left early finding the celebration to be sacrilege.
The next day the church service was held. The family filed in, having once more found something black to wear, Sunny giving in with a simple black shift but adding a green scarf, knowing that was her father's favorite color. The casket sat in on the altar, with the front half of the lid opened up. Suddenly Sunny felt herself being nudged by the usher to go to the front, and blindly followed her sister and mother, not really sure what was happening. What was going on was the Pastor felt the casket lid obscured people from being able to see him where he chose to stand behind the altar, not wanting to stand behind either of the two side lecterns, and wanted the lid closed so he could grandstand; so this was the final viewing, and the ladies were hustled through it unexpectedly.
Victory walked up, dry-eyed, kissed her late husband and removed his wedding band, slipping it on her own hand, the ring now a guard on her father's signet ring. Dinah followed suit mechanically, bending into the casket to kiss his cheek. Sunny approached the altar, seeing her father embalmed for the first time. Todd stood behind her in the aisle. She thought he looked pretty good, surprised at the color in his skin and the fact he almost looked like he was breathing. The idea he had makeup on never occurred to her and she marveled how death returned life.
The idea of kissing him, however, repulsed her, but she felt a social obligation to touch him somehow, so reached in gingerly and touched his hand. It was cold, and dead and hard and she recoiled, the enormity of her loss crashing on her in a split second, and ran backwards facing the altar, blindly, to be stopped gently by Todd, who wrapped her in a tight hug and walked her back to her seat, the dry thump of the lid being closed registering somewhere in the back of her mind.
Nestled between Todd and Wanda she listened in horrified shock as the Pastor droned on about things that had nothing to do with Jedd, never mentioning his love for music, omitting his inventive creativity, overlooking his devotion to the church as an elder of twenty years, excluding his devotion as a father, hearing a canned eulogy for a man the Pastor never knew, whom he had ministered for 25 years. He gave no opportunity for any one else to speak, which was probably a blessing, since Sunny was unable to utter a word in her grief, even though in her heart she wanted to tell the world of her father's wonderful soul. He wrapped it up with a collection, which Sunny passed over, putting in nothing and forcefully resisting a wild urge to take all the money out and fling it in the Pastor's face, and the family wandered out, momentarily blinded by the sun, to waiting limousines for the funeral procession.
Motorcycle police officers leading the way, the limos wove through the finest neighborhoods in Central Florida, Sunny occupied with noticing that the cops took dangerous risks, passing on the wrong side of the road and narrowly missing head on collisions as they kept the parade moving. Grande homes passed by, which she noted, amused that her father had chosen to be laid to rest in the most exclusive cemetery in town, typical of his stubbornness; that if he could never rise to live there than at the very least he would die there.
After a short graveyard ceremony, presided over by his boss at work, the American Flag draped over his casket was formally folded and presented to her mother, and the family left to leave the burial to the cemetery staff, returning home to rest. Neighbors filed in and quickly out upon seeing the chaotic, messy house, leaving a wealth of food the small family could not possibly eat before it all spoiled or the growing generations of cockroaches acquired. Victory and Dinah dove in delight into a four story chocolate cake Gigi brought over, while Sunny, Todd and Wanda gratefully sat down with Sylvia to a full turkey dinner the Sweet Adelines left, their first decent meal since all this began. What food that couldn't be eaten was either frozen or passed along to the neighborhood food bank, and life gradually returned to normal.
Or as close as could be called to normal. Sunny still hadn't let her emotions go, hadn't cried, screamed in nightmares, and let her heart move to a tight, dark box in her soul, protecting it from ever being hurt again. Victory never grieved, dismissing the death as just something she had to endure, Dinah felt grief was inappropriate since now her father's soul was with God, and Sunny felt entirely alone, stripped of what family she had, facing the two women as strangers she now had to get to know.
Over the years she did, taking baby steps emotionally one issue at a time, gaining a sister and a mother through the loss of her beloved daddy. It was seven years before she could remember where he was buried, the name of the graveyard having flown her mind within a day of his burial, and ten years before she finally drove out there to sit by his headstone and finally read the inscription, "To daddy, with love," leaving behind a single hibiscus, his favorite flower, and an unsigned letter.
She walked away arm in arm with Todd and Wanda, unaware the wind lifted her letter, carrying it high in the trees into the fading summer light.