NOTICE
OF
PENILE REVOCATION
KNOW YE THIS...
LET UT BE KNOWN THAT BY THESE
ARTICLES fair and true and after grave and pretty much legally sober consideration
of a kind most grievious and irksome, notice hereby and for all just purposes
has been duly served forthwith to the blackguard, toadie, worm, pain in
the ass, all-around jerkified, lowly crawfish and insufferable yutz, once
called by the name
___________________________________________
and who is herein and hereafter to be referred to
as "NEUTER-BOY"
AND THAT...
WHEREAS,
THE AFORMENTIONED NEUTER-BOY has been rightfully found by The Society of
Maledom to have chartered a shabby course of life consistent with those
offenders habitually guilty of any of a number of crimes repugnant to our
brotherhood, including, but not limited to: gutlessness, shameless cowering
or ass-kissing, unsportsmanlike conduct, unfair business practices, ducking
a confrontation, shoddy parenting, gross inconsideration and selfishness,
actions not befitting a gentleman, shirking of duty, whining, betraying
a pal or a sworn confidence, disgracing your family, running crying to
a lawyer, behaving like a prick at a Little League game, taking the low
road, putting your dingus in Whoopi Goldberg, etc.
AND THAT...
THEREFORE,
CONSISTENT WITH THE UNWRITTEN laws of comportment accepted by The Society
of and extending back over the countless generations to the Great Hairy
Nomad and First Regular Joe himself, be it known that the aformentioned
NUETER-BOY, having been found pitiable, unworthy and unfit to carry The
Societal Staff, and in keeping with the Revocation Terms of said offender's
appendage Lease as covered in the Johnson Clause, section III, paragraph
VI, shall and will at once forfeit said appendage. Please return
it in the envelope provided for your convenience.
______________________________
_______________________________
Eminent Regular Guy Arbiter
Date