MARCH 30, 2000

     i've managed to get some more work done on "the project".   Finally something clicked in my mind, and i was able to focus more clearly on how i feel it should be.  i'm discovering that i am not a very abstract thinker.  i tend to prefer things more organized ... linear.   

     So now i have a small "map" of sorts ... or tree ... of the characters, and lines are drawn from the main names to other, less involved but still essential, people.  And suddenly the project is taking on a life of its own and i am feeling overwhelmed.  In over my head again. But i keep looking over at this piece of paper, which is actually yet another sticky note perched on my monitor, and i feel somewhat more encouraged.  This project may be bigger than me, but maybe, just maybe, i can cut it down to my size.  If i never finish it, at least i can hold my head up proudly and say i gave it my best shot.

     i finally put up a list of the "cast" on my main page.  These are people who's names are mentioned here from time to time.  It's not a complete list yet as i have decided to add to it slowly and attempt to get used to the design i chose for presenting it.  It's much different than anything i have tried before, in that i was trying not to be rigid about the placement of the cells.  Attempting an abstract look.  i'm not sure that i am comfortable with it.

     Master did make one comment however.  He doesn't like the use of "Dom" son or "Domme" daughter.  He feels that since this is a D/s related site, that labeling my children as Dominants, is not accurate.  And He is quite right in that they aren't "practicing Dominants" according to the life that He and i share.  But what i mean when i say they are "Dom/mes" is that they have strong personalities.  And then Master points out; "well of course they do ... they are teens."  

     Anyway, this led to a discussion about kids and how in large groups there are always some who are seemingly more dominant than others.  Then Master offered the idea that the quieter children could be just as dominant by being passive/aggressive.  Which led me to suggest that submissive people must be dominant then, if they aren't blatantly vocal about their opinions/ideas, etc.  'Cause He is talking about the passive/aggressive idea.  And around the circle went the conversation. i don't know that we came to any real conclusions, but we had fun hashing it all out.

     So i will make a concession and now refer to my kids in the same manner, but with small "d's".  Which will mean that no, they are not practicing D/s lifestylers, or whatever term one uses to explain BDSM.  But they are dominant-natured.  Strong-willed.  And who knows.  One of them just might have a flogger or two hidden away in a closet.  

     Maybe mom will be the last to know :)  

shadoe