THE RANDOM GAME HALL OF FAME
From: Tocadisco

MagicClams

Magic, one of the top all around HO players, has graced the Random Game with his presence. He is a jack of all trades, and a master of this game. He knows how to make a blind man dance. He knows how to make a nun fart. I wonder sometimes if there is anything he doesn't know. - Toca K. Disco

Entered the Random Game during the Lawless Period,
Mysteriously Vanished During the Throwback Period.
Returned again later.

Dancing is a lot like standing still......except faster. (MagicClams)

Hey, it's no skin off the teeth of my brow.... (MagicClams)

I live a life that most people only dream about; I'll be talking to a group of people at a party, then I'll realize that I'm not wearing any pants... (MagicClams)

Short thoughts are the sign of incomplete thought proc (MagicClams)

Orgasm is a lot like winning the big game, except when you're finished, all of the CHEERLEADERS lift you on their shoulders, instead of the football players. (MagicClams)

Cheerleaders invented flirting....they raised it to an art form. They made it so that they can lift their skirts up in your face, yet everyone thinks they're doing something completely innocuous, and if you think otherwise, YOU are the sexual deviant! (MagicClams)

I'm all smoke and bits. (MagicClams)

Breathing is like sex, except with air instead of a penis. (MagicClams)

Sex is like breathing with a gas mask, but only if you use the female condom. (MagicClams)

Jokes are like 18 yodelling Dutchmen in bunny suits. (MagicClams)

Germans would like sex a lot more if they didn't expect to keep the parts they invade.... (MagicClams)

Rational thought should be left for the monkeys. (MagicClams)

Only man can be true irrational. (MagicClams)

Escatalogical is a really long word for "pee". (MagicClams)

Pee is a really long word for "P". (MagicClams)

I'm a lot like Muhammad Ali......except
without all that boxing stuff.... (MagicClams)

Vegas isn't so much a city as it is a monument to evil.... (MagicClams)

I like Biochick. (MagicClams)

I don't think I'll kill her in the great culling. (MagicClams)

The rest of you had better watch out, tho.... (MagicClams)

Death is when you get so bored that you'd rather sit in a box and have worms eat you than see another damn Pauly Shore movie... (MagicClams)

I often wonder who is more foolish, the fool, or the man who follows him....I think it's the fool, cuz I mean, he's a FOOL for chrissake! That's like what he is! (MagicClams)

If you looked like a duck, talked like a duck, felt like a duck, smelled like a duck, and tasted like a duck, you could fool just about anyone into thinking you're a duck....but I'd know better.....so don't try nothing..... (MagicClams)

I like the word "Gyrate". It reminds me of all the pretty girls on "Soul Train". Same thing goes for the word "lumpy". (MagicClams)

A lot of people used to think I was ugly cuz little kids would start to cry whenever they saw me. (MagicClams)

I know better, though.... (MagicClams)

They're really crying cuz the last time I saw them, I gave those kids the beating of a lifetime....... (MagicClams)

Am I the only one who only enters this contest when he's really drunk? (MagicClams)

Who's to say what's sane, and what's not? (MagicClams)

I think it's David Hasselhoff...... (MagicClams)

Hey Chatterbox! Less talkie-talkie, more drinkie-drinkie! (MagicClams)

Is it possible to taste your own tongue? If not, will you do it for me? (MagicClams)

I'm not wearing any pants....film at eleven. (MagicClams)

Ya know why you never win the random game, Tocadisco? Not enough fudge in your diet.... (MagicClams)

Some people tell me that I shouldn't spend as much time smelling myself as I do on a daily basis, but I usually respond by saying, "Hey, are YOU going to do it for me????" (MagicClams)

Frogs have bellybuttons too, ya know?! All you damned anarchists need to realize that! (MagicClams)

The reason everyone has a problem with ignorance is that it leads to questions that people don't know how to answer. How many times has a little child asked you a question you don't know the answer to? Now, think about how many times a co-worker has...... (MagicClams)

And forget about all the times that co-workers have asked you, "What are you doing with those panties?" (MagicClams)

Would you rather have every person on earth smell like fish, or have every person on earth sound like Don Knotts? (MagicClams)

Don't just think about what's best for you....think about what's best for your children. (MagicClams)

But not for your children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex..... (MagicClams)

If there is no sound in space, how come I can hear all those aliens screaming as they hit the sun, HMMM? Got an answer, Mr Science Man?????? (MagicClams)

I don't like the Olympics. I hate how all the events aren't about the strength of the people anymore. Now it's about how good their equipment, computers, and trainers are. I think the only real Olympic sport would be "Naked Running" (MagicClams)

I don't like the Gay Right's slogan, "We're here, we're queer, get used to it!" It just doesn't sing....I think they ought to change it to "Hey! Gay? GAY! YAY!" (MagicClams)

Why is that I can buy an air conditioner, but not air shampoo????? (MagicClams)

I think they should get rid of smoking and non-smoking sections and change it to "breathing" and "non-breathing". (MagicClams)

If it's a "crime" to molest little boys, then dammit, I guess I'm a criminal! (MagicClams)

I have this ZZ Top fantasy.....it's like in one of their videos...see, one of those ZZ Top girls from the "She's Got Legs" video is giving me a blow job, and then I spin her around like one of those fuzzy guitars..... (MagicClams)

That's it.... (MagicClams)

If you're looking for deep substance, you'd better look elsewhere...... (MagicClams)

think it would be really funny if I went and hired prostitutes, then turned them in for statuatory rape....... (MagicClams)

This time I'm keeping a list of everything I send in, just to see if my suspicion is correct. I'm pretty sure they took every single thing I sent in.....and if they print this, I'm almost certainly correct.... (MagicClams)

What if everyone is wrong about peace being a noble goal? What if God really put us on earth so he could watch us fight, like a bunch of human GI Joe's? Then what, huh? Eternal consequences, that's what! (MagicClams)

From now on, I insist on being referred to as "Senor Itchy". Queries directed to any other name shall be ignored. (MagicClams)

I constantly have flashbacks to my job as a grocery store sacker/car loader. I can no longer close a car door without saying "Thank you, have a nice day!" It's very frustrating. (MagicClams)

I'm planning to write a series of children's books someday. They'll all center around the life and times of "Scrappy, the very infectious monkey". (MagicClams)

Hi, I'm Mr. Kansas. I'm a 4th year sophmore at DeVry Technical Institute and when I finish college I hope to become a pediatrician because I love animals. My turn ons
include long walks on the beach and fat Brazillian cocktail waitresses named Betty. My turn offs include rude people and icy cold water. I hope to become Mr. America so I can help bring about world peace! (MagicClams)

I'd BETTER do well in that Mister America pageant. I don't want to have waxed my bikini zone for nothing........ (MagicClams)

I hope they don't take off for my underdeveloped bustline..... (MagicClams)

I have no delusions that I am always right. I simply believe that no one has a right to form and express their opinions except me. (MagicClams)

I am The World's Greatest Smurf Groupie..... (MagicClams)

Which one of you nefarious miscreants has been eating my Jimmy Dean sausages, dagnabbit?!?!?!?! (MagicClams)

author's note: Nefarious - evil or infamous. From the Latin, "nefus", meaning "person", and "arium", meaning "who does many bad things to MagicClams's sausages". I thought I'd save you a trip to the dictionary. (MagicClams)

Boy, those Romans had a word for EVERYTHING! (MagicClams)

I think girls are somewhat intimidated by me. (MagicClams)

Maybe they wouldn't be so intimidated if I'd stop beating them up and stealing their lunch money, but then I'd have to get a job....... (MagicClams)

Hey WLW Troub! You Joke like my grandma! Why don't you go home and make a dress?!! (MagicClams)

Sorry Troub, I didn't really mean that. It's all this testosterone running through my veins. It makes me really competitive and aggressive. That's the same reason why I challenge people I see on TV, even though I know that can't hear me. (Example: "HEY GILLIGAN! Why don't you get off that island and come here, so I can kick your sorry ass!!!") (MagicClams)

What is a MagicClam? It's just a normal human being like the rest of you. (except better)
I'm a 16 year old male who is about 6-1, 165 lbs., has brown hair, blue eyes, and small goat horns on each side of my head. (MagicClams)

I hate automatic transmissions. They let people who lack the mental capabilities to drive get behind the wheel. A one-eyed monkey with brain damage could drive a car with an automatic transmission, and he'd probably hit fewer people than the car's normal driver, too. (MagicClams)

Denial is a wonderful thing, isn't it? Without it, I'd probably be really depressed that I'm sitting at home in front of my computer thinking up random sayings for the amusement of people I'll never meet. Of course, the bourbon helps, too. (MagicClams)

Ahhh, sweet Kentucky Bourbon....brownest of the brown liquors....so tempting.... (MagicClams)

The key to looking down on other people and acting like you're above them is to remember that all the people around you are only mindless automatons operating within your subconscious. I'm the only real one. I'M THE ONLY SANE ONE!!!!! (MagicClams)

Operating with a sense of inherent superiority allows you to look down on others with ease. It's also a great way to get out of a bad mood. ("Of course you realize, Jim, that I am infinitely better than you in every way." Try to stay in a bad mood after saying THAT to about half a dozen people.) (MagicClams)

My new girlfriend missed my birthday.....Well, it wouldn't have bothered me so much if it weren't the 16th consecutive birthday she's missed! (MagicClams)

Starting to sober up, so I'd better go to bed before I my insecurities start to overcome my drunken haze, keeping me from sleeping soundly...... (MagicClams)

I think the question to ask yourself when you're thinking about killing someone is, "Would my life be better if I killed him/her?" If the answer is yes, then by all means, kill him/her, cuz he/she deserves to die. (MagicClams)

If the rule is "An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth", how many teeth does a toothless guy have to knock out of your mouth before you can retaliate on some other part of his body? (MagicClams)

You know, a lot of these new kids with their comedy routines like jokes about anal sex, but me, I prefer good old fashioned rape. (MagicClams)

I like this game. It's the comedic equivalent of the Olympic Naked Running event. (MagicClams)

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than have a frontal lobotomy..... (MagicClams)

If it's drunk or crazy, I choose drunk. (MagicClams)

Alright, this is weird....I only had 40 items on my list of things I sent in yesterday, yet today, I was printed 47 times.....conspiracy? I think so..... (MagicClams)

I need to learn to hold my liquor better. I get a couple of beers in me, and I end up getting on a table and giving cheap thrills to a bunch of guys.... (MagicClams)

If six-legged animals like insects are less intelligent than four-legged
animals like dogs, and 4-legged animals are less intelligent than 2-legged
animals like humans, does that mean that God only has one leg? (MagicClams)

Yesterday, my girlfriend asked me, "By the way, do you believe in fate?" So I said, "You were fated to ask me that question, but I was fated to say 'No.'" Then we laughed and laughed and laughed. Of course we were both drunk at the time, but..... (MagicClams)

I believe in fate only when it is to my advantage to blame a force outside of myself for my actions. (MagicClams)

Excuse me sir, but your salamander pancakes are soiling my galoshes. (MagicClams)

I like to say "Scout's honor," when people suspect I'm lying. (MagicClams)

(No, I'm not a Boy Scout, but I like to swear on their honor.) (MagicClams)

Hey WLW Troub, (Insert biting sarcastic joke here)!!!!!!!!! (MagicClams)

Last night/morning, I couldn't fall asleep, so I spent the early morning trying to mentally list every different way I had heard of a person killing him or herself. After about 20 or so, I fell asleep. It ain't counting sheep, but it works.... (MagicClams)

Hmmm....that last one is a little bit disturbing and sadistic, but I mean that in the
good way..... (MagicClams)

I went to the zoo last week. It was a lot of fun. I sawed a whole mess of crazy critters. (MagicClams)

(Sorry, I slipped into Jed Clampett mode for that last sentence.) (MagicClams)

I like the movies where all the characters are one dimensional stereotypes.
Movies where beautiful women wear tight clothes and scream for help from the
action hero and the men drive fast cars and carry powerful handguns. Movies
where every Mexican person speaks perfect English, except they never remember
the word for "yes" or "Mr.". Movies where the good cop who plays by his own
rules nails the bad guys. Movies with a villain you can hate wholeheartedly
because he is evil simply for the sake of being evil. None of those complex
thoughts for me! Everything should be divided into black and white, night
and day, good and evil, with nothing in between! That's MY kind of flick.... (MagicClams)

Boy, yesterday I wasn't feeling so hot, but today.....It's amazing what twelve hours sleep and and 2 and a half kilos of heroin can do for a person. Hey! Why am I covered with spiders? (MagicClams)

This morning, I got up, went downstairs, and took a shower, and was about to leave for
work, then I realized I had forgotten the "putting on clothes" step, so I
went back upstairs after I apologized to our neighbors. (MagicClams)

Stupid Puritan neighbors! Imposing their Victorian standards of modesty on me! (MagicClams)

I like the kinds of dreams I have when I'm sleeping during class....one time, I fell asleep about halfway through class and had a dream that I was a secret agent chasing after a beautiful shape-shifting terrorist named Iva. (MagicClams)

(pronounced EE-va) (MagicClams)

Just thought I'd clarify, for those of you who like to pronounce things phonetically.... (MagicClams)

(pronounced fo-NET-ick-al-lee) (MagicClams)

The worst kind of in-school dream is when you have a falling dream when you are sleeping in class, because then you end up looking like an ass in front of a roomfull of
people when you start wigging out and trying not to hit the ground.......Everyone is like, "What the hell are you doing, spastic-boy?" (MagicClams)

I'm reaching a point where I have to start thinking about my future. I think I'll probably end up going to someplace like Stanford or Notre Dame and major in Physics and minoring in Nuclear Chemistry or something if I can get the scholarship and loan money. If not, I plan to take one of those correspondence courses in Gun Repair.... (MagicClams)

The world's best female conversation stopper: "So what you're saying is I'm fat." (MagicClams)

The ultimate male conversation stopper: "Are you saying that you want to fight me?" (MagicClams)

Note: the ultimate male conversation stopper may lead to brutal beatings, if used improperly. i.e. on people bigger than you. (MagicClams)

I wish I had a pony. (MagicClams)

The weird thing about recurring dreams is that everyone seems to have the
same ones. You know what I'm talking about, don't you? For instance,
everybody has had that dream where you are at school and then all of the sudden you realize that you're naked.....and covered in blood. (MagicClams)

Actually, I never have the "naked at school" dream. I mean, why dream it, when you can LIVE it? (MagicClams)

I was just realizing that I'm wasting my time writing personalized letters, cuz they're all pretty much the same anyway. "Dear Some Jerk, How are you doing? I hate my life, and want to die. See you later. Sincerely, MagicClams" Oooh, big loss. (MagicClams)

I love asking who it is on the phone, because then you make the other person feel bad by
not recognizing their voice. It's a sadistic thrill. I sometime ask even when I do recognize the voice, just to make them feel small. Me - "Who is this?"
Caller - "It's your Grandpa!"
Me - "Grandpa who? I know a tons of people named Grandpa." (MagicClams)

The closest thing I have to an imaginary friend is my little pal, Skippy, the
Prozac elf. He makes me laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and
laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh
and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh until I stop hearing all the voices
in my head, urging me to kill. (MagicClams)

I'm being IMed from all sides, so I think I'll take a break for a while....The problem is that people think I'm fun to talk to, but most people are very boring and long-winded. Damn my charisma! It's the price I pay for being such a sparkling conversationalist..... (MagicClams)

A lot of people think of arrogance like it's a bad thing. I like to keep a healthy measure of
arrogance. It keeps me from realizing how truly inadequate I am in every
way. (MagicClams)

It's really frustrating for me to watch people do things that I know I can do better. That's why I can't stand to watch pornographic movies. (MagicClams)

I hate watching "The Breakfast Club" on TV. It's a great movie, but they always tear it apart to make it TV-worthy. "Hey, (sounds of dubbing)Fluff You, you flipping dorkface!" (MagicClams)

Some friends of mine rented Disclosure earlier this summer, and they
just wouldn't stop complaining to me for days that you never get to see Demi
Moore's nipples in that movie. They were always saying, "Dammit, I went to
that movie to see nudity, but did I get to see even ONE NIPPLE?!! NO! I hate
those Hollywood Bastards!" Geez. Go watch Striptease, ya cheap bastards! (MagicClams)

Last week, I was in the locker room at my high school, and I had just finished showering after using the weight room. I was relatively dry, and I had assumed that I would be in
all-male company, so I had left my towel on top of my bag rather than wearing
it. Of course, as irony would have it, some girl, about my age, wandered
through. I just stood there, confused for a second, not knowing what to do,
then I said, "To hell with towels, Towel, my Ass!" She laughed, then I said,
"No, I mean that literally. Towel my ass." Then she just started laughing
really hard and walked away. (This joke is based on intonation, so you have
to understand that the first sentence is intended to express contempt for
towels, and the second is a conceptual switcheroo where I am giving the
command, "Towel my ass." In the first sentence, I use towel as a noun; in
the second, I use it as a verb. I'm sure I'm overexplaining this, but if I
don't, I don't think the joke will make sense.) I think I played that
situation off pretty smoothly. I asked around once I had reclothed myself,
and it seems that that girl was the little sister of a senior at my high school, so I should expect to get my ass kicked in the next couple of days...... (MagicClams)

Somebody once told me I seemed like the kind of guy who would have loved the movie Pulp Fiction, so I was thinking, does that meant that I seem like the type of guy who enjoys watching hitmen shoot people without remorse? Do I seem like the type of person who enjoys watching pointless carnage and destruction? Am I that transparent? (MagicClams)

I had to write a research paper for a summer class I was taking. The only good thing about doing a research paper is making up lots of fictional quotes from fictional people. I remember having to do a history research paper freshman year about German special forces, (Luftwaffe, SS, etc.) so I made up a fake unit of paratroopers that invaded Russian space and assassinated a fictional Russian general named Sergei Rachmaninov (Yes, that is the
name of a Russian composer, but my history teacher was not very bright.) in retaliation for a defeat at Stalingrad. I even added a quote from Hitler: "For ordinary soldiers, this attack would have been unthinkable, but these were no ordinary soldiers, these were German Soldiers!" Not only did he miss this falsified research entirely, but he
wrote, "Excellent use of quotes!" next to my "quote". He also missed a reference to "The Eagle Has Landed" I included about an aborted attempt to assassinate Winston Churchill. (MagicClams)

I've changed my mind about my name again. I now wish to be called "Iggy Shabubu". (MagicClams)

I hate the French. They're all wine-swilling, Nazi-collaborating, Bonapartist, cheese-headed Frogs. (MagicClams)

Alright, people don't like dozens of small entries, I'll send one BIG entry. :P

Special note for all: When Biochick1 says "Ohhh, margarania," this is her ill-spelled version of, "Ohhh, Macarena!" Just thought I'd make sure that you didn't think she was just badly spelling, "Ohhh, margarine," or even worse, "Ohhh, Margaret." (Despite the fact that, as we all know, Biochick has a secret lesbian crush on that girl from the "Dennis the Menace" movie.)

Since Biochick made the obvious setup in one of her posts, I suggest you only accept one response that says, "Oh, I'll bet I know why Biochick is REALLY on her knees!" Thank you in advance.

No, Biochick isn't our heroin. If she were, we'd have to inject her into our veins. She's our HEROINE. My bad.

If I didn't know better, I might start to think that the people don't like me. But since I do know better, I think they hate me.

Heroin is a pretty cool drug, as long as you aren't bothered by stupid little problems like dying in the gutter at a young age.

If I was a bird, I think I'd have a lot of fun trying to poop on expensive cars. It's not nearly so much fun as a human, cuz you get hassled by the MAN!

Gods are a lot like Judges, except without the nifty gavel and robes.

Hello Kitty is the Beastmaster!

If Fun had a middle name, it would probably start with B.

I wish I had one thumb made out of steel, and one thumb made out of butter.

I want to make bumper stickers that say, "I brake for little boys with bladder infections."

I'm done. Hope I've kept things under control this time. Not THAT many postings. (MagicClams)

If you weighed like 300 lbs, and people called you "fatty", I really don't think you have any right to argue with them. Unless you're like 7 feet tall, like Shaq or something. Or maybe if the person is even fatter than you are. Because that's pretty hypocritical of them. (MagicClams)

Pretty hard to run the game without the Magnificent Seven, isn't it? We rule this world! Never forget that! Bow down! Biochick1, WLW Troub, Tocadisco, Sour Soda, IZZO, LeonardABC, and MagicClams are randomly selected gods! (MagicClams)

God doesn't make fat chicks.... (MagicClams)

This is going to be another super-post, so prepare yourself. This is gonna be a long-un! :-P

Friends are just enemies who don't have the guts to kill you.

That's why I'm friends with a lot of people. Not a lot of guts.

Honesty is when you can lie so effectively that no one can challenge you
anymore.

Integrity is when all your past lies force you to tell the truth in the
future.

I can make myself levitate, until someone reminds me about gravity. Then it
gets harder.

Knowledge of gravity makes levitation all the more peaceful, though.

Dolphins are plotting against us, you know....If we don't kill them, they'll
kill us...They've gotten too smart...Now they must be exterminated....

I liked the last Curious George book best. "Curious George and the Electric
Fence."

I like the Buddha. He's got a purdy belly.

If you try to go to Burma, and you'll end up in Myanmar instead.

It's like Istanbul and Constantinople.

Istanbul was Constantinople.
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople.
Been a long time gone, Constantinople.
Why did Constantinople get the works?
That's nobody's business but the Turks.....

Undirected effort is the key to enjoyable futility.

I used to want to be the new Bonaparte, but now I want to be the new
Bonaducci.

I used to play a game that was a lot like "Got your nose" with my cousins,
except I called it "Got your soul". It's a lot like "Got your nose," except
that instead of pretending to have their nose, you snap their necks and then
take their eyes....

My parole officer says I can't play that game anymore.

That's okay, though, because I don't have anymore cousins......

I wish I still had a soul, but when I was younger I traded it to this guy in
a trench coat for a chocolate chip bagel. Still have the bagel, though. I
call it my "soul bagel", and I only eat one chip a day.

Evolution is a huge joke, and the punchline is humanity.

I love America. It's the only nation where every man is innocent until
proven equal....where the children are better armed than the police....where
"F*ck" isn't just a curse word; it's a way of life....where the only way to
get a good
education is to go to private school or jail

The stupider people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you
kill them.

My god is ZORGON! LORD OF PLEASURE! Which one of you will be the sacrifice
to Zorgon?????

LET US BOIL A FROG AND DANCE IN THE MOONLIGHT!

Life isn't fair, and I've made it my life's goal to make it worse.

The end. Watch this not get posted. :P (MagicClams)

Baywatch? YAY-WATCH!!!!!! (MagicClams)

Why do they bother to make perfumed toilet paper? They're fighting a losing
battle..... (MagicClams)

Just remember, people: You can't comb the hair of an Irish setter in an easy-bake oven.... (MagicClams)

Why is it that recorders, those little flute-looking things that they make
you play in grade school, can be assembled and disassembled in seconds? Is
this some sort of pre-adolescent military training, or what? (MagicClams)

I think we need to start a Hecklers Online Softshoe Club. Anyone interested
in joining? As your leader, I will be utterly merciless toward you whenever
you make the slightest mistake, so be prepared. I said "Step, pause, turn, pause, pivot, step, STEP!" NOT "Step, pause, turn, pause, pivot, step, PAUSE!" Shudder! I'm working with amateurs! Go home and tell your mother that you're a flop! (MagicClams)

I'm thinking about getting a tatoo. Right now, I'm leaning toward having it look like Bill Clinton's face. Guess where it's going to be........ (MagicClams)

I'm consistently shocked at how little knowledge the average person has of
classical music. I fear for the future of a nation where "The Ride of the Valkyrie" must be referred to as the "Kill the Wabbit song". (MagicClams)

THE ONLY CONSTANT IN THE UNIVERSE IS BAYWATCH! GOD BLESS BIKINI
GIRLS!

Dewey is the best duck! Beats the HELL out of Huey and Louie!

We have Plato's republic in Iran....Until the Ayatollah finds it and burns it
again....

I have the one and only god. His name is Zantac, and he is god of indigestion.

The other gods are Michael J. Fox in other forms deceiving people to worship
him.

The Jews called god "Hank"....before they got a fancier name, that is.

Abraham is the original Pimp Daddy.

Truth is absolute, lies are vodka.

Subj: Re: MagicClams' Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: MagicClams
I have this suspicion that my Half and Half is really only 49% cream....it's getting so I can't eat cornflakes anymore without being afraid I'm going to overdose on milk...

Subj: Re: MagicClams' Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: MagicClams
You know, I'll bet if you hear deaf, and mute, and blind, and you had no hands or feet, your only way of communicating would be flexing your buttocks rhythmically...like Morse code or something maybe...
NOTICE: Persons attempting to find a motive in this entry will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.

Subj: Re: MagicClams' Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: MagicClams
Who am I? I'm the man who rides alone....
No wait, that's the Lone Ranger....
NOTICE: Persons attempting to find a motive in this entry will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.

Subj: Re: MagicClams' Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: MagicClams
If a fatalist tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it, is it surprised?
NOTICE: Persons attempting to find a motive in this entry will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.

Subj: Re: MagicClams' Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: MagicClams
If