From: Tocadisco

Mr Onliner

Mr Onliner, no dot. Here's a man who would make Jack Handey proud. Able to jump over buildings in a single bound, faster than a speeding train, Mr O entertains the Random Gamers daily! - Toca K. Disco

Entered the Random Game During the Lawless Period

Coca Cola Classic sucks.
(Mr Onliner)

I prefer Coca Cola Placid. (Mr Onliner)

Or Coca Cola Plastic.
(Mr Onliner)

I hated that damn stick! (Mr Onliner)


Young Rebulicans

AOL Bills

People who try to translate "Macarena" into English

Dorks who always say "See you next year!!!" on New Year's Eve

The annoying "BLOOOP!" the TV makes when someone cusses.

Age/ Sex checks

pEOplE wHO ThiNk tHEY'rE cLEvEr BEcaUSe tHEy wRItE LikE THiS

Dumbasses who spell "cool" as "kewl".

people who are too lazy to write in capital letters.



Singled Out


Mean People

People who "cleverly" sneak HO into their screen names.

(Mr Onliner)

Hey, hey Mr. Stray, get out of my house today! (Mr Onliner)

Who bit me?
(Mr Onliner)


(Mr Onliner)

That's the last time I tell a piranha to bite me! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Okay I'm done.
(Mr Onliner)

Your rules are really beggining to annoy me. (Mr Onliner)

Welcome to Tuscaloosa. Call me chimpmunk. (Mr Onliner)

What say we play a little Bill Clinton Rules? No one inhales until the votes hit the roof. (Mr Onliner)

Ready? DRAW! Ooooooooooh, that's good. (Mr Onliner)

10. Mmmmm...skunkalicious (Mr Onliner)

9. Did you say GASoline, or VASoline? (Mr Onliner)

8. You know, Forrest Gump wasn't really all that fast. (Mr Onliner)

7. Wait a minute...I think I lost count. (Mr Onliner)

7. Just to make sure, I'll post 7. again. (Mr Onliner)

7. This is Todd, he's a Doobie. (Mr Onliner)

6. The only chip in my computer is a Dorito! And it's Nacho Cheesier! (Mr Onliner)

5. Yes, No, or Cancel...the eternal paradox. (Mr Onliner)

4. Lookee, Masa! I'm in the parliament! Hehehehehehehe! (Mr Onliner)

3. Mojo! That's VERY unladylike! (Mr Onliner)

2. Emag Modnar Eht! HAHAHAHAHAHA! You'll never break my secret code now, Madesckantor! (Mr Onliner)

1. Muffle this! (Mr Onliner)


Thank you. (Mr Onliner)

Damn these chairs, son! (Mr Onliner)

Two birds are sittin on a bar of soap. One says, "Hey, slide me over a bubble."
The other one says, "Hey! What do I look like, a TYPEWRITER?!?!?!" (Mr Onliner)

If a woman pays you to have sex with them, are you a gigalo, or is the woman a slut? (Mr Onliner)

If Hitler's first name was Herbie, the Dutch would have been in a hell of alot of trouble! (Mr Onliner)

When aliens land, I bet FOX will cancel the X-Files.
(Mr Onliner)

Let's see...we can buy a twenty dollar Magic Eye 3-D poster of a baseball player, or we can buy five dollar tickets and go watch a real baseball player. Hmmm...
(Mr Onliner)

You know what? When we start playing basketball one the moon, the Guiness Book of World Records is going to have to put a whole different section for Moon Basketball. It's gonna suck. (Mr Onliner)

I don't own a Hecklers T-Shirt. But if I did, I'd wear it. I wouldn't. (Mr Onliner)

Ieeeeeeiiiiii...wanna rock and roll all niiiiiiiiiight...but my colon's clogged!
(Mr Onliner)

If I'm not saying ME, this is just hypothetical...but if someone drank...not ME, someone guy I know...if he drank 3 bottles of Liquid Plumber, what should I...uh...he do? I mean, I'm not asking for me...but...uh...for this guy I know or something...I wouldn't do anything like that...
(Mr Onliner)

I feel sorry for ants that live near nuclear power plants.
(Mr Onliner)

One time I was writing "success", and I purposely wrote "suckcess"! Te he he! (Mr Onliner)

I can't wait until "Hollywood Ferrets" comes out on paperback. (Mr Onliner)

I'm teaching shaving lessons to cockroaches. (Mr Onliner)

If cats could fly, cars would be covered with hairballs.
(Mr Onliner)

I told you already, Kevorkian, I'm not interested!
(Mr Onliner)

got rancid cheese? (Mr Onliner)

Can anyone operate this damn laminating machine? (Mr Onliner)

I just threw my skateboard through a window...the worst thing is I missed the wasp. (Mr Onliner)

My cat wants to show you his new litterbox. (Mr Onliner)

Fran Drecsher is Satan! (Mr Onliner)

One time I burned a pretzel and ate a match. (Mr Onliner)

And now, a sampling from a Redneck dictionary:

alien - space monkeys, 3rd Rock people, Mexicans, Will Smith (wait a minute, he was on our team), Chinks, Mork... (Mr Onliner)

I'm the host of The Jeff Foxworthy Show. My name is Mohammed. (Mr Onliner)

My modem's got facial hair. Is that bad? (Mr Onliner)

This CB radio keeps calling me smoky. I think I'm on fire. (Mr Onliner)

When DNA was discovered, did the scientists say "Hey, this molecule reads genetic information and passes it on to furture generations...let's call it deoxyribonucleic acid!" (Mr Onliner)

This salsa is superduper chunkalicious! (Mr Onliner)

I'm starting to bear a striking resemblance to Cyndi Lauper...and I'm a mouse!
(Mr Onliner)

Someone just dropped a hammer on my foot...

The pain should be here any second now...

(Mr Onliner)

I just ate Gumby. Mmmmm...chewy.... (Mr Onliner)

If people had knees on the back of their legs, what would chairs look like? (Mr Onliner)

Tell the Muppets they can shove it! (Mr Onliner)

THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WITH ANAL WARTS!!!!! Now...think about that next time you're crying over your AOL bill! (Mr Onliner)

Will this denture wearer switch to Dentu-Cream? Tune in next time to see what he thinks... (Mr Onliner)

NO! (Mr Onliner)

Isn't that cute? My CD-ROM just spit up on my shirt! (Mr Onliner)

Mom, can I have a light bulb for dinner? (Mr Onliner)

My town is so small, the hookers wear helmets! (Mr Onliner)

And now, a poem:

I've given The Random Game all my Mr O power...


Thank you. (Mr Onliner)

Duck, Duck, Goose...what's up with that game, anyway? (Mr Onliner)

I've always wanted to fill a Coke can with latex. I've got plenty of latex, but I can't ever find a can. That sucks. (Mr Onliner)

I've got this friend named Rusty, and one night for some reason no matter how hard I tried not to I kept calling him "Brusty". It was weird. (Mr Onliner)

They should penalize "The Price is Right" contestants 15 yards for celebration.
(Mr Onliner)

I can't for the life of me remember that boy's name who got caned in Singapore. (Mr Onliner)

Shut up, Nutmeg! (Mr Onliner)

What do you call it when two birds hit each other in midair?

No, seriously, I'm asking a question. What do you call that? (Mr Onliner)

Why does Joe from "The Real World" get so many chicks? He looks like Martin Short if he were a leprechaun! (Mr Onliner)

Check out this awesome phrase I just made up: "I LOVEUM JOVEUMS! I LOVEUM JOVEUMS!" That'll make the ladies melt! (Mr Onliner)

I'm majoring in Pimpology and Poultry Science. (Mr Onliner)

Remember that show "Earth2"? It was a show about people on a different planet! They were on a different planet, trying to find somewhere to live! WHY DIDN'T YOU WATCH, YOU HEARTLESS BASTARDS!!?!?!? (Mr Onliner)

I wanna play with pelicans from here to Baghdad. (Mr Onliner)

You know, "Baywatch" is at the OCEAN, not at a bay. Just so you know. (Mr Onliner)

Well, kids, these kittens may look cute, but just so ya know, they're all ANIMATRONICS! I repeat, these adorable animals that you've been petting for the past two hours are made of hard metal and fake hair! They're all ANIMATRONICS! (Mr Onliner)

I just go a great idea for a money-making scheme. Next time David Duke is speaking near me, I could hand out signs that say "DUKE MAKES ME PUKE!" Good idea, huh? Man I'm just full of 'em today. (Mr Onliner)

I swear that on the bottom of my ultra-powerful speaker system it says "Active Super Woofer". What the hell does that mean? (Mr Onliner)

Hey, everybody! Look at fat Buddah guy's gut! Man, he's FAT! (Mr Onliner)


If I found a mint on my pillow, I wouldn't eat it. Ya know, germs and stuff.
(Mr Onliner)

You know what's gonna happen when people start using thumbprint technology on credit cards? There's gonna be a run on protective thimbles (ya know, because people are going to start cutting off thumbs. What the hell is this world coming to?) (Mr Onliner)

My "Style"Writer printer is wearing a polyester leisure suit. I think it's time to upgrade. (Mr Onliner)

Coming soon to a movie theater or a smut dealer near you: SUPER BOWL XXX! FEATURING PLENTY OF TIGHT ENDS AND WIIIIIIIDE RECIEVERS! (Mr Onliner)

Is it just me, or does the Apple logo look just a little bit too fruity for the Garden of Eden, if ya know what I mean! (Mr Onliner)

Don't you hate it when you see a wasp flying around so you spray the hell out of it and run and then you come back later and see it writhing around on the floor so you feel sorry for it until you step on it and it stings you so you get a shoe and beat it into the carpet and then dig it out with a pair of tweezers and
burn it at the stake with some toothpicks in an ashtray in an ancient sacrifice ritual to Grangoliralo, the Mataman God of Evil? (Mr Onliner)

:-) Hur hur hur! Smiley! Hur hur hur! (Mr Onliner)

Jack Palance is a dirty, dirty old man. (Mr Onliner)

You know, you can never really see what's behind you (and don't go out and buy some of those mirror glasses. You see, the Burmese Government controls them.) (Mr Onliner)


It is 3:36 P.M.S. He he he, I said PMS! (Mr Onliner)

If Evander Holyfield beat up Mike Tyson, and this guy name Joey beat up Evander Holyfield in third grade, and this old homeless guy spanked that guy Joey when he was 2 months old, and I kicked that old homeless guy in the teeth, then doesn't that mean I can beat up Mike Tyson? (Mr Onliner)

Astroturf scares me. It reminds me of E.T.'s toupee. (Mr Onliner)

GO ALABAMA, CRIMSON TIDE! WE...nah nah nah nah nah nah nah...uh... mumumumumum...AUBURN SUCKS! GO BAMA! WHOOOOOOOOOO!
(Mr Onliner)

There is something deeply, deeply disturbing about a girl wearing a Big Johnson shirt. YEEEECH! (Mr Onliner)

Can I exchange my HO Tokens for ValueJet frequent flyer miles? (Mr Onliner)

Bye bye Mrs. American bi, er, pie! (Mr Onliner)

Here is my impression of someone watching "Evening at the Improv" on the A&E Channel: Thank you, thank you very much. (Mr Onliner)

My teacher said "Mr O, use a sentence with 'condole' in it." I said "What condole do now that he lost the election!" Lord, I'm funny. (Mr Onliner)

Greg Kinnear is just too funny. Keep in mind, now, I'm not too bright. (Mr Onliner)

San Diego needs to be hit by some sort of nuclear fireball. That's where they kill all the pandas. (Mr Onliner)

Check it out! My dog thinks the cat is calling his name! Wait a minute, it is! (Mr Onliner)

Yore durt dum with'a looks to match! Hurk hurk hurk! (Mr Onliner)

Planes are a funny thing, ya know. I mean they fly,'re actually not that funny. Not at all, really. Hoo boy, that sucked. Man, that's bad. (Mr Onliner)

This whole "staying clean" and "washing your hair" and "brushing your teeth" and "trying to avoid domesticated animals in the road while your driving" craze is really overrated. (Mr Onliner)

Which word in this sentence is mispelled? No, really, I'm asking a question.
(Mr Onliner)

The Symbolism Song
by: Mr O

The dog likes cats and the cat is fat,
the apple dropped to soon
and the trashcan poet on his cable box car alarm,
fed with his tin cup spoon.
Here we are now, entertain us,
Are you experienced? Have you ever been experienced?
I gave my love a chicken, it had no bones,
Doo doo doo doo, doo doo, doo doo, can't touch this
On the good ship, Loll-ypop.
Thank you. (Mr Onliner)

They say if you lose a sense, your other senses get stronger. Well I lost my sight, hearing, taste, and smell. Feeeeellllings... I've got nothing more than feeeeeellllings...Man, I am the king of clever. (Mr Onliner)

All I know is, these Nissan commercials are the scariest thing on TV since Pauly Shore. (Mr Onliner)

Gimme back that flak jacket! (Mr Onliner)

Here's yer headline: "Clinton-Jiang Summit Accord Cheers APEC." Now what in the name of hell does that mean?!? (Mr Onliner)

Imagine what the Sphinx felt like when he got back from his nose job and realized they broke the damn thing off! (Mr Onliner)

I'll say, by jove, your governor must be a crusty old bird, my good man! (Mr Onliner)

My dog and I blink in unison. (Mr Onliner)


I get a wierd feeling when I listen to Melissa Etheridge sing "I Wanna Come Over". Cause she's singing to another chick, ya know. (Mr Onliner)

What's going on with them Mexicans, man? Stealin' all our words like "tacos" and "burittos". Crazy tostados! That's what they is! (Mr Onliner)

I do my Spring Cleaning in the fall. Expect a Christmas card in June. (Mr Onliner)

I am the antiSprite. (Mr Onliner)

My cat and I were having an intimate moment when suddenly, he looked up, deep into my eyes, and bit my wrist. Him dead now. (Mr Onliner)

Buster Brown, he lives in a shoe, he's got a dog, and he lives there too. (Mr Onliner)

I'm not feeling random today. Maybe I'll just watch MTV. (Mr Onliner)

Bill Bellamy called me a "homie". I'm feeling cultured now. (Mr Onliner)

The Smashing Pumpkins should be more considerate. How do you think the squash and the yams feel? (Mr Onliner)

Can you love me like that? (Mr Onliner)

In case of an emergency, Jenny McCarthy may be used as a flotation device. (Mr Onliner)

Where's my toe, I don't know, where's the wall, I'm real tall....dur dur dur....
(Mr Onliner)

Son, doncha thin you would enjoy this here waffle? Come on an buy da waffle! EAT DA WAFFLE! EAT DA WAFFLE! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! okay, sorry about dat, son. I just, just wancha to get happy an eat da waffle. Come on, now let's get da da waffle...EAT THE FREAKIN WAFFLE BEFORE I SHOVE IT UP YOUR NOSE UNTIL IT HITS YOUR BRAIN AND YOU BECOME OBBSESSED WITH BREAKFAST FOODS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm sorry bout dat, son... (Mr Onliner)

The Random Game: A mystery wrapped in an enigma, sprinkled with stupidity, and nuked in the microwave of insanity. Damn, I'm hungry. (Mr Onliner)

\\0 0// <---nekkid
- U - wuman!
\ /
\ /
/ \
/ \
| | | |
(Mr Onliner)

Fragrant foul on the guy with the petals! (Mr Onliner)

Ricky, I'm starting to think the mime knows too much. (Mr Onliner)


Whatcha got in your heel there son? A razor blade? Huh? Trying to be like them thugs at Alcatraz, eh? Well Mr. Muffin's not falling for it this time, Kenny! (Mr Onliner)

Okay, okay, I get it. Your gonna sit on your ass and whine about how many entries your getting. Well I don't caaaaaaaaare, JACK! Now hurry up and post some freakin' entries! (Mr Onliner)

3.14 = {] (That's a pie! Get it?!?) (Mr Onliner)

My modem's got three lights. FOUR LIGHTS! ITS UP TO no, It's down to three again. Yep. Watchin the modem li FIVE LIGHTS! FOUR LI FIVE LIGHTS! AAAANNNnnnd down to three again. Hooboy. (Mr Onliner)

Aw damn, Henry! Now we're back in Phoenix again! Will you just put a leach on the stupid Pterodactyl already!?! (Mr Onliner)

When life hands you lemons, kick it's ass until it screams like a girl than steal all its nachos. (Mr Onliner)

Well if your just TOOOOOO busy to judge some entries, I'll have to taunt you a second time! Here are the Random Game Rules spoken by my Swedish friend: Vhet zee hell is thees, yuoo esk? Gu beck und reed "Hoo tu pley Zee Rundum Geme-a" iff yuoo reelly vunt tu knoo.
Bork Bork Bork!

*IMPORTENT* Iff yuoo type-a sumetheeng in zee bux beloo, DO NOT use-a zee oor key unyvhere-a in it (unteel I pust sumetheeng seyeeng zee Oonleene-a Hust hes hees heed oooot ooff hees ess und oooor intry reedeeng sufftvere-a veell vurk pruperly).
Bork Bork Bork!

*MORE IMPORTENT* Iff yuoo vunt tu send a feele-a oor un imege-a, ettech it tu un i-meeel und meeel it tu "HO Zeeme-a". (Mr Onliner)

Cats have long tounges, I do declare, and I don't care who the hell knows!
(Mr Onliner)

I skeletor, the evil red spirit of mischeif, demad you give me five tokens before I am forced to strip you of your skin and lock you in a fiery pit for all of eternity! Please?? (Mr Onliner)

Doctor, Doctor, reattach my goiter! (Mr Onliner)

Will give you a free rectal exam for tokens.
Will pet your ferret for tokens.
Will prank call Steve Case for tokens.
Will refrain from knocking the crap out of you for tokens.
Will throw a diaper at you for tokens.
Will eat really old dead things for tokens.
Will have someone "bumped off" for tokens.
Will promise not to abduct your children at a stoplight for tokens.
Will hit my computer with a big ole' pumpkin for tokens.
Will break a bunch of things that look expensive for tokens.
Will become addicted to several hallucinogenic drugs for tokens.
Will do something highly illegal for tokens.
Will ask Geena Davis to go out with you for tokens.
Will type the word "ejaculate" over and over for tokens.
Will eat a worm sandwich for tokens.
Will ask Pamela Anderson Lee if "them thangs is real" for tokens.
Will pretend to have a conversation with a pair of bunny slippers for tokens.
Will stick a thumbtack through my eye for tokens.
Will sing "lova me, lova me SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME!" for tokens.
Will laugh like a big ole' fat guy at a John Candy film festival for tokens.
Will tell Dr. Dre that his momma B-stank for tokens.
Will bite a moving bike tire for tokens.
Will eat a printer ink cartridge for tokens.
Will hawk a luggi on an old woman for tokens.
Will head-butt a mailbox for tokens.
Will yell at my toes for tokens.
Will tear up a picture of the pope for tokens.
Will eat a flaming Tickle-Me Elmo for tokens.
Will unleash an army on Canada made entirely of Origami swans for tokens.
Will punt the head of the Venus Di Milo 90 yards for tokens.
Will demand that my dog brushes her teeth for tokens.
Will go to the mall and spend all your money for tokens.
Will sell you a black-market kitten for tokens.
Will you just hurry up and give me the damn tokens.
Will type exactly 2050 letters in my entry for tokens.
Will give you rabies for tokens.
Will contemplate suicide for tokens.
Will promise not to do this anymore for tokens. (Mr Onliner)

Oh yeah, I'm a SCAAAAAAARY man! Scary! Scary! Scary! Just give me the tokens, Julius, if you ever wanna see the rabbit again! (Mr Onliner)

I denounce ye, ole jelly donut! (Mr Onliner)

Scary scary scary! Boo! (Mr Onliner)

I'm scary. Yessir. Hide the women and children. Here comes Mr Freddy. Yeeeeeeeeep. (Mr Onliner)

I need tokens. Do you know why? Because I believe I can fly. Yessir. (Mr Onliner)

MM MM R R O O !!!
M MM M RRR O O !!!

\|/ <-----Me

Mr O's Las Vegas Show (Mr Onliner)

What in the hell does someone have to do to get tokens around here? Draw a damn fish? Lick their freakin thigh? Ya know, I've been playing this game for God knows how long and I haven't won Jack Squat! I think I deserve tokens just out of respect! You know, sort of like how they give a lifetime achievement award to people at the Oscars. Just give me some tokens for being old or something. Just give me some tokens! (Mr Onliner)

go to hell AND REMIND YOU THAT I LOVE YOU gimmie tokens NO MATTER
gimmie tokens WHO YOU DECIDE TO gimmie tokens AWARD TOKENS TO
gimmie tokens or die! (Mr Onliner)

Thank you for the tokens. No randomness. Cheese comes from cows. Thank you. (Mr Onliner)

My NOSE my NOSE my NOSE IS PURDY! (Mr Onliner)

Hey! Remember a loooooooong time ago when I said what the problem with moon basketball was? Well I just thought of something else. What if we're playing on the moon, and them aliens from 'Mars Attacks' say "Hey dude, let us play!". So we're all playing and we get a league going called the MBWTAFMAL (Moon Basketball With Them Aliens From Mars Attacks League). So then people start coming to the games and watching us and stuff. And we start selling
souveniers like shirts and posters and programs and stuff. But in the program, when it says height and weight, are we gonna measure the aliens from the top of them big 'ole heads or the base of their foreheads? Who knows? (Mr Onliner)

Why didn't you post the MOLR entry I sent it Friday, bold letter guy? Whatsa matter, fraid we might steal your dog? That's it! You think we're going to steal your dog! Well I'll tell ya something, Pedro, you post that entry or I'm gonna cry like a wounded puppy! (Mr Onliner)

What are you doing to my entries, Bold Letter Guy? I vill kill you, ya know. Cuz I'm from Sveden. (Mr Onliner)

Mr Onliner - ~!@#$%^&()** ATTENTION **()&^%$#@!~

The Random Game has disappointed me lately (cept for all them tokens! That was purdy cool!). This game needs real leadership. This game needs a leader who cares. This game needs some monkies and (Mr Onliner)

Okay, if you erase my message again, I'm gonna grab a shovel and a .44 and come after you, Nancy!


(for the 3rd time!)

Lately the Random Game has made me like, sick and stuff. I tried to form a backwoods militia to stop this nonsense, but everybody got lost in the woods and we had to eat this guy that froze and another guy got bit by a rabid squirrel and we had to c
in him to a tree to keep him from chewing his leg off and then it was just me and this guy named Butch and I said "Well, Butch, I guess this little militia to take over the Random Game didn't work!" and he was like "Well, I'm gonna kill you, Mr O." and
was like "Oh yeah? Tell that to my gun!" and I shot him and then I had to eat his liver and then a rescue helicopter found me several days later naked and cold.

the horror...

the horror...

What was I talking about? Oh yeah. Anyways, I figured that this game needs leadership. This name needs responsibility. This game needs a chimpanzee whore. Then I thought "Wait a minute! I'm responsible and a leader! And I know a chimpanzee whore! Her na
is Kiki and she's really nice if you get to know her!"

What was I talking about again? Oh yeah. So that is why, I am announcing...MY CANDIDACY FOR PRESIDENT OF THE RANDOM GAME! That's right, Steven, I'm running for Random Game Presidency! Vote for me, good random citizens! Vote for me! Vote for me! Vote for

Uh, thank you.

(Mr Onliner)

I've sent in the same entry 3 times and you wont post it, you selfish S.O.B.! (Mr Onliner)

Why do you erase my messages. Do they...FRIGHTEN you? Getting a bit...SCARED? (Mr Onliner)

I'm serious, if you erase my message one more time, I'm gonna burn down your house. Grrrrrr....ruff! No, I wont. I'm justa jokin around. But, post my entries. (Mr Onliner)

And now, a little tune...

"Post my entries!"

by Mr Onliner

*Sung to the tune of "Frere Jaques"
Post my entries,
Post my entries,
Darkfont dude! Darkfont dude!
If you don't post them,
I'm gonna, uh, get real mad,
Darkfont dude.
The end. (Mr Onliner)

Remember that song I wrote about posting entries? Sorry about that! You are forgiven Mr. Darkfont. (Mr Onliner)

Day two of my candidacy for President of the Random Game...
My campaign slogan: "Meat-eating orchids forgive no one just yet!"
Political Party: I am the official nominee of the Archdeluxican Party.Cabinet: My cabinet will consist of the following people if elected:
TocaDisco: Department of 100110101

Shilorider: Queen of Crack

Industrry: The Department of Wondering Too Damn Much
TroubWLW: Department of Witchcraft

Kaziganthi, Kumantes, and Krazyk242: Head Wizards of the KKK (get it?)
MooGeneric: Department of Burning Them Damn Scots
Beergutt and MitchRK: Department of Typing Reeeeeeeeally Long Stuff
JamiJR and ScorpioAsh: Department of Lots n Lots of Energy
BabyLamms, UzeTheFors, and MutantYoda: Department of Scaring Me
SIMBeing: Department Of Microsucking
BioChick1: Senior Advisor
The remaining Random Veterans can serve in my Congress.
(Mr Onliner)

If elected, I promise to make the SEND button bigger than the CANCEL button. Having the CANCEL button being bigger sends a bad message to children, such as "Hey kids, CANCEL going to school and start smoking the cocaine-derivative crack rock!" We just can't have that! (Mr Onliner)

If elected, I promise that the next bastards who
a) Send in the Random Game Rules
b) Type in emaG modnaR ehT
c) Type in ewjrqoijfkdnvajhoiqpxncnvn, or anything of the like
will be tarred, feathered, and kicked the hell off of AOL. (Mr Onliner)

If elected, I promise that everyone that votes for me in the election (which will be Valentine's Day) will get the super-special "Mr Onliner's Happy Funtime Newsletter", featuring several nude chicks and, uh, money. (Mr Onliner)

Guess what I just found out everybody? Nyello wants a piece of the Happy time fun wagon! You're going to get moooooooooowed down! (Mr Onliner)

I am typing with a dislocated finger taped to my ring finger. Now that, is a true Random Gamer. Vote for me! (Mr Onliner)

Subj: Re: VOTE HERE!
From: Mr Onliner
PLEASE, citizens of Gotham, read this note...

Id like to thank the people that took the time out to vote for me, and the people that voted for Mr. Bill, Scott Baio, and JoJo, the monkey dancer. That is why it is sad to make this announcement: Regardless of the official outcome of the election, win or lose, effective immediately, I am retiring from the Random Game. If I officially win the election, I resign my post to Scott Baio. If I lose, good luck to whoever wins.
Id also like to thank HO Myrrh, HO Chicago, and the mysterious Ms. Darkfont. Even though you destroyed a once great game, you did reward me a lifetime total of about 15 tokens, and I thank you for that. I would also like to thank Toca, Magic, MISS Bloodguilt, Khaleth, JamiJR, BabyLamms, Forty9errs, and everybody else for playing.
In the spirit of randomness, here are my last random thoughts for the surviving members of The Random Game to ponder.

*Toca note: Mr O never left the game, in fact his new material rivals his best old stuff. YAY!