All the time people make things that can "entertain for hours." There's only one thing in the world that can do that, and that's putting ants in the microwave. You can make a game of it too. See how long it'll take before the lower thorax explodes. My current record is 4.3 seconds. (AndyFische)

Bloodguilt: Boo!
Ender36: Eeeeeee!
Bloodguilt: Ak!!
Ender36: ::giggle::
Bloodguilt: ::chortle::
Bloodguilt: What're you up to, you little fiend?
Ender36: Nothing, you twit.
Bloodguilt: I have grape Kool-Aid.
Ender36: Woo-hoo!
Bloodguilt: Only it's jus' powder, and so not really good to drink.
Ender36: True.
Bloodguilt: My new goal is to have an entire Random Game section dedicated to yours truly.
Ender36: Congratulations. You frighten me.
Bloodguilt: I am working long and hard on this goal and expect to have it accomplished within the next week.
Bloodguilt: I'm going to play with something. Tell me what happens.
Bloodguilt: Did anything happen?
Bloodguilt: Okay.
Ender36: Yeah.
Bloodguilt: Now I'll do something different. Same rules...
Bloodguilt: ~ ~
' '

Ender36: WooWoo!
Bloodguilt: Ooh..
Bloodguilt: Weird.
Bloodguilt: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ><> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gone Fishin'

Ender36: Something happened.
Bloodguilt: Woo hoo

Bloodguilt: I'm ba-ack!
Ender36: EEeeeeeeee!
Bloodguilt: thpt!
Ender36: Got your tongue. P
Bloodguilt: meanhead!
Ender36: ::whimper::
Bloodguilt: That's right. You should be whimpering!
Ender36: Here's your tongue back. P
Bloodguilt: Why won't any morons besides you IM me?
Bloodguilt: Thanks.
Ender36: ::sniffle::
Bloodguilt: :-P
Bloodguilt: Wipe your nose. You're dripping on the keyboard...
Ender36: Am not!
Bloodguilt: I don't believe you.
Ender36: You don't have to. As long as I know it's true, that's all that matters.
Bloodguilt: You just have way too much self-esteem.
Bloodguilt: Dangit!
Ender36: Me? You sure you're talking to the right person?
Bloodguilt: No, I'm not. This is you, isn't it?
Bloodguilt: I like licking peanuts.
Ender36: This is me? I think so.
Bloodguilt: good
Bloodguilt: I was worried about you for a minute there.
Ender36: Ohhh.
Bloodguilt: I'm rully bored. I should do homework. :-P
Ender36: You can write your paper.
Bloodguilt: Good idea. You could write

Bloodguilt: I'm getting sick of those little random guys with their bulging eyes.
Ender36: Yeah, me too. BTW, the sign for 'french' is done with the first finger, not the middle finger. The book looks funky.
Bloodguilt: Darn. And the middle finger looked so good.
Bloodguilt: Is there a sign with the middle finger like that?
Ender36: Yeah. Uhm...I dunno.
Bloodguilt: I guess the first finger makes sense, being an F and all.
Ender36: Ahyup.
Bloodguilt: I think I'll randomize that one.
Ender36: Whatever rolls your socks down.
Bloodguilt: My socks are just fine, thank you. And I will appreciate it if you would leave them out of this in the future.
Ender36: Okay.
Bloodguilt: My knee gets upset about it sometimes.
Bloodguilt: You understand.
Ender36: Aw yeah.
Bloodguilt: It's getting a little more aware every day.
Ender36: Zoobity wonka wonka twee
Bloodguilt: Uh, yeah.
Ender36: Yup. (Ender36)

Dont you get sick of people sending you dumbass stuff like YO POOP and postmepostmepostme?? this game might be funny if people posted interesting stuff rather than "i just wanted to let you know that I'm going to bed now..", "I'm not wearing any pants", "I'm cool", "This sucks", "I'm tired".....i have never seen such stupid, pointless, idiotic, 'anything to get posted' crap in my life. But I guess that's the point of this game..Random. I feel sorry for the poor host that has to read this boring stuff everyday. (Atheenaa)
[I don't get sick of it, but I think everyone gets sick of me trying to respond to it...or to anything for that matter.]

Here is a goody for you kids:
WG Sean: wazzup
WG Sean: i'm sorry...i...i...i....i don't have an open mind
Tocadisco: i'm playing a little game called Heckle the HOs, basically i talk to the HOs (in your case i will make an exception) and enter the conversation in the random game
WG Sean: that's a purty clever lil gimmick ya got there
WG Sean: since the random game is involved, i shall type in bold
Tocadisco: don't be a smart ass
WG Sean: you see, i know The Man Who Types In Bold...he's a friend of mine
Tocadisco: the MAN IN BLACK, i've been searching for him
Tocadisco: who is the dark man?? where can i find him?
WG Sean: by the way, i loved your random entry, "fsaldjladja wdjlksadj dasjd klsajd ksajd djasld lksajdlkwdj wkd wqdj jdlwkd p udr93wque oriuwqrie roiwquer poiwru oee wqei qeqwpiue oiwqeoie uoiwqeu wqpeiouoieuwqeo 2qoeiuqweekrlekr;lekr;lekr;ker;ke;rk;ekr;ekr;k; ...
WG Sean: wpoieuwqeoiwueiwuewqieuiwquewqieuwqieuiwqueowqiuelwjelwjdlkwjeiamyourmasteryoumustlistentomycommandslekwlkel
[I'm gonna guess who this one is from I'm seeing a pattern form...long posts are getting cut off...maybe you should send each line as a separater!!! what am I saying! No, please, whatever you do, don't do that!!]

I admit that I'm new to this.I love HO and it makes me laugh every morning.I understand the premises(is that a word?) of all of the games and contests.I'll submit something now and then,even knowing that I can never top some of the truly brilliant people that post here.Some of these people should be professional comedy writers.I used to think that I had average intelligence.Then I came across this "game".I'm ashamed to admit that I JUST DON'T GET IT.Well,I'll keep reading it day in and day out,and hopefully one day soon I'll understand what the object of this is.Maybe I won't even send this........oh,what the hell!! (TYLERED25)

I am running against Mr. Onliner in a quest for Presidency of the Random Game! My running mate: ZoZ99! My Secretary of Havoc: KrazyK242.
My Secretary of long, boring entries that no one reads: Bloodguilt.
My personal advisor to give me what the people want to know: Industry.
My Punching bag: MISS SCULLY
My Arch-Nemisis: Grey Gomer.

Mr. Onliner Beware! Nyello is coming to get you! (Nyello)
[I hope you didn't print up bumper stickers yet. First, you should give Industrry her second R.]

I H O P E Y O U C A N N O T R E A D T H I S B E C A U S E I F Y O U C A N T H A N L I S T E N T O M E N O W A N D D O N O T L O O K B E H I N D Y O U B E C A U S E T H E L U N A T I C W H O W R O T E T H I S M E S S A G E I S S T A N D I N G B E H I N D Y O U W I T H A G A T L I N G G U N A N D H I S M - 8 0 H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A ! (Crakerz123)
[Ooo, a word find! What words are we looking for?]

I just cut the cheese (well someone had to do it).
C mon on the cheese, and ride it.
H ecklers Online will witness the Cheese.
E =mcheese.
E at him because...well...he is food.
S hut up about the smell or he'll slap you.
E veryone be ready when he arrives.

***July 4, A piece of Cheese will come forth*** (Crakerz123)

I know nobody cares but one day I had the worse gas. You know, I had bacon for breakfast, tacos for lunch and burritos for dinner. In school I was passing gas so bad everyone had to evacuate the building because they were sufficating and needed air. When I got home, I told my mom what had happened, in mid-sentence I let one fly....It lasted about 15 sec. and sounded like a motor. I reaked throughout the whole house. My mom made me stay outside for the rest of the day. I even had to sleep out there. We didn't have school for the next one was brave enough to enter. The night I had to sleep outside there was a big tornado. Now I know why... (Akaucher)

I love getting my stuff posted. I love getting my name in the margin. I love winning tokens. Now, if only 2 other things would happen- 1: I would win the largest amount of tokens for the Random Game the next time they're given out. 2: I could win at something else besides the Random Game. (JamiJR)

i think all this fame is getting to my head. i saw my name after my entry and got all excited and started to shake and scream and stuff. i liked that feeling. now i can't stop entering in hopes i will see my name again. it's ok if you stop reading my nonsense. i'll forgive you. i'm just a lone kid lookin for a random game fix. (STEFANY8)

It took me 15 minutes to sign on just so I could play these pointless games!! I'm going to create new access numbers myself!! Who's with me? Power to the people! We don't need this online service! It means nothing!! It does not control our lives!! What's that? The AOL is bumping me off? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (Live2Watch)
[I wonder what would happen if we put a CompuServe or Prodigy access number in our AOL number place...]

Since the 70's you've been eating cheese. It's 1997...learn to appreciate it.
On July 4 The Stinky Cheese Man will have his day. (And you thought the reshowing of the Star Wars Trilogy was something good? Wait till you see cheesy on the big screen!)

>>>>>>>>>>>Cheese Wars<<<<<<<<<<<< (Crakerz123)

the other day I was at the store, and I couln't help but notice the sound of a little child screaming. I followed the sound, and there was a little boy running around the fruit section naked! that's right, even the pull-up was off! His mother was chasing him and suddenly tripped on his pile of clothing. She fell flat on her face. (WeirdMan15)


you know why chewlaroue was compelled to share the story about the rubberbands (it's true i add)....because she slept in stretch pants and lost feeling in her legs!!!!! and was reminded of the stefany proverb once again...don't sleep in tight stuff poo poo head. (STEFANY8)

You know, my dog tries to hump everything. I swear, the hormones have been raging! Whenever we have a virgin over, they go home not quite a virgin anymore. Instead of peeing on the fire hydrant, he gets intimate with it! One of these days he's gonna get someone (or something) pregnant! (WeirdMan15)

Bloodguilt: You hittin' on my woman?
Madderhorn: You and everyone else
Bloodguilt: You're hitting on me and everyone else?
Madderhorn: No that is what I am getting from others
Bloodguilt: Getting hit on?
Madderhorn: No hitting on you
Bloodguilt: You're getting others to hit on me?
Madderhorn: No they are saying you hitting on my woman
Bloodguilt: What? I'm hitting on your woman?!?
Madderhorn: No that is what this person is saying about you
Bloodguilt: That I'm hitting on your woman?
Madderhorn: No that I am hitting on you!!!
Bloodguilt: You're hitting on me?
Madderhorn: I don't know anymore (Khaleth)
[Okay, so who is Madderhorn? This is like a soap opera.]

Bloodguilt: I'll come see you. So will Megan. Just to use your scanner, of course, but isn't that better than nothing?
GCard: Hey, yeah. As long as she promises to flirt with me if my roommate's around :)
GCard: For the status thing, y'know.
Bloodguilt: I'm not sure if you could call what she does "flirting."
GCard: Okay, whatever.
GCard: Spanking. Whatever you want to call it.
Bloodguilt: I'll be sure to tell her you want her to spank you. (Khaleth)

Prove: Barney is satanic

The Romans had no letter 'U', and used 'V' instead for
printing, meaning the Roman representation would for Barney would be: CVTE PVRPLE INOSAVR


Extracting the Roman numerals, we have:

And their decimal equivalents are:
100 5 5 50 500 1 5

Adding those numbers produces: 666.

666 is the number of the Beast.

Proved: BARNEY IS SATAN! (Khaleth)

Here's the part where i ask HO Travio an important question:

Tocadisco: Hey webmaster, can you give me three reasons why people should go to the website rather than the AOL site?
HO Travio: 1. its got cooler colors
HO Travio: 2. You don't get a busy signal
HO Travio: 3. it changes every second, well at least today! (Tocadisco)

Hmm... I think that somebody thinks that I don't care anymore...
WHAT'S WITH THAT!?!?!? I like to know these things too and I didn't
even know about this "23rd at 2:45" thing. Geez! When I said that I
wanted to stay on the mailing list I MEANT IT!!! My goodness! No
respect I tell you... NO RESPECT.... (Khaleth)

I like emotioncons. }:-)= <---that's a vampire. \{vV^^^^^Vv}/ <---That's a vampire's smile. /{vV^^^^^Vv}\ <----That's a vampire's frown. \{_|_|_|_|_}/ <---That's a mortal's smile. <3 <---That's a heart. @---->----- <--That's a rose. <-------- <-----That's an arrow. Okay, I'm done for now. (JamiJR)

I missed an online questions game!?!?!?
I feel terribly gyped.
Next time I have to go to the grocery store to buy ingredients for
emergency jello, I'm just gonna say, "No. Not gonna do it. I might miss
an online questions game with Megan." (Khaleth)

I think the host of the sHOw Me game is out to get me or something. My stuff doesn't even get posted and it's better then some of the crud he lets get posted. He could leave out one lousy clueless entery to post my stuff. That's why I like Ms Dark Font the best. She always posts my stuff. :-) (JamiJR)
[See, that's because you learned that short posts don't get cut off. Now, maybe in sHOw Me, it's the other way around...and you just haven't caught on to it there yet.]

It's 11 am. Do you know where your Jolt Cola Jock Strap is? I don't. But then again I don't have one. I don't have one because I'm a female. Females don't have the right stuffing for a jock stap. Therefore I do not need one. Ergo, I do not have a Jolt Cola Jack Strap. (JamiJR)

Just bought a used refrigerator from Burt Reynolds. He left butter in there. Guess I'll mail it back to him or else he'll have no butter. He's butterless. What is he gonna do next time he has a baked potato? If only he had remembered, he wouldn't be in this predicament!!! Gosh. (PaulCrash)
[You won't believe that's not butter.]


8 1/2 oz. finely grated coconut
10 oz powdered sugar
1/2 tsp (scant) bitter almond flavoring
4 tbsp. rose water

Combine coconut and powdered sugar. Add almond flavoring to rose water;
blend into sugar mixture until well mixed, using fork. Form in small
balls; roll in cocoa. Rose water may be obtained from pharmacy. (Khaleth)

Place your Schoolhouse Rock CD and all of your money (optional, but would be
nice) in a paper bag. Meet me Tuesday at midnight at the base of the bell
tower. I will bring "the goods." There we will make "the switch." Tell no one
of this. Disguise yourself to assure that you will not be followed. The
password will be "Boom, baby, boom! I am the midnight bomber what bombs at
midnight." To this you should reply, "Bad is good, baby. Down with
government!" If you are unable to meet at the appointed hour, please notify
me asap, and we will make other "arrangements." (Khaleth)

Q. There is a hole in the ozone, the layer of gas that protects the Earth. How would you repair a hole like that?
A. Use a kaleidoscope to look at the ozone. Then, take super glue, 1,500 band-aids, 28 stickers, one 5x9 piece of ice and 5,100 pieces of bubblegum and stick everything on the ozone.

Matthew, age 9 (BabyLamms)

There Will Come Soft Rains

by Sara Teasdale

There will come soft rains and the smell of the ground;
And swallows circling with their shimmering sound;

And frogs in the pools singing at night,
And wild plan-tress in tremulous white;

Robins will wear their feathery fire
Whistling their whims on a low fence-wire;

And not one will know of the war, not one
Will care at last when it is done.

Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree
If mankind perished utterly;

And Spring herself, when she woke at dawn,
Would scarcely know that we were gone. (Khaleth)

Translated editions of the Sailor Moon mangas will be released monthly in MixxZine starting this March (for subscribers) and this May at newsstands. If you're interested in additional information on MixxZine, contact Ron Scovil (at, call
1-888-MIXX-NOW, read next week's issue of Wizard Magazine, keep tabs on the soon-to-be-online MixxZine website at or just keep your eyes glued to this newsgroup for added details. (Khaleth)

What is it with people ruining perfectly good chocolate by putting nuts and stuff in it? That's gross! The only things chocolate should have in it is carmal, peanut butter, or more chocolate. Leave the nuts, fruits, and coconuts out of the chocolate!!!! (JamiJR)
[You don't like coconut in chocolate?? I'm afraid I'm now take away all of your eleven tokens now.]

your friend emily frightens me. she's threatened me via email and now is
asking me for all of my money and my schoolhouse rock cd in a brown paper
bag to be left by the bell tower at midnight on tuesday. . . .at which
point she will deliver "the goods."

i may have to bring my mafia friends in on this one to protect me in case
she tries any funny business. or just my trusty AK-47. (Khaleth)

"A Spam for all Seasons," EXPRESS (Saint Paul Pioneer Press), January 6,
1997, C1-C2.

The article refers to Carolyn Wyman's "Spam: A Biography" and is
accompanied by some delightful 1940's ads for Spam. (Khaleth)

"I want a class where I can mutate in lab." (Khaleth)

"I'm scared of you now. You're evil." (Khaleth)