sorry, guys, i'm gonna have to send this in segments or it won't fit. here goes...120 Ways to Freak Out Your Roommate
The following ways to freak out your roommate were stolen from a
friend named Sam Odom. He stole them from someone else.
9. Speak in tongues.
10. Move you roommate's personal effects around. Start subtlety. Gradually work up to big things, and eventually glue everything s/he owns to the ceiling.
11. Walk and talk backwards.
12. Spend all your money on Jolt Cola. Drink it all. Stack the cans in the middle of your room. Number them.
13. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more than meets the eye."
14. Recite entire movie scripts (e.g. "The Road Warrior," "Repo Man," Casablanca,") almost inaudibly.
15. Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while playing Wagnerian arias on a kazoo. If your roommate complains, explain that it is for your performance art class (or hit him/her with the wrench).
16. Collect all your urine in a small jug.
17. Chain yourself to your roommate's bed. Get him/her to bring you food.
18. Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off when you are.
19. Ask your roommate if your family can move in "just for a couple of weeks."
20. Buy as many back issues of Field and Stream as you can. Pretend to masturbate while reading them.
21. Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come, pretend nothing happened.
22. Eat glass.
29. Paste boogers on the windows in occult patterns.
30. Shoot rubber bands at your roommate while his/her back is turned, and then look away quickly.
31. Dye all your underwear lime green.
32. Spill a lot of beer on his/her bed. Swim.
34. Hide your underwear and socks in your roommate's closet. Accuse him/her of stealing it.
35. Remove your door. Ship it to your roommate's parents (postage
due)
36. Pray to Azazoth or Zoroaster. Sacrifice something nasty.
37. Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up. Announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks.
38. Array thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser. Refuse to discuss them.
39. Paint your half of the room black. Or paisley.
40. Whenever he/she is about to fall asleep, ask questions that
start with "Didja ever wonder why." Be creative.
41. Shave one eyebrow.
42. Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. If your roommate comments, mutter "Gotta save space," twenty times while twitching violently. (Shilorider)
--
43. Put horseradish in your shoes.
44. Shelve all your books with the spines facing the wall. Complain loudly that you can never find the book that you want.
45. Always flush the toilet three times.
46. Subsist entirely on pickles for a week. Vomit often.
47. Buy a copy of Frankie Yankovic's "Pennsylvania Polka," and play it at least 6 hours a day. If your roommate complains, explain that it's an assignment for your primitive cultures class.
48. Give him/her an allowance.
49. Listen to radio static.
50. Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them as soon as you wake up.
51. Cry a lot.
52. Send secret admirer notes on your roommate's blitzmail.
53. Clip your fingernails and toenails and keep them in a baggie. Leave the baggie near your computer and snack from it while studying. If he/she walks by, grab the bag close and eye him/her suspiciously
54. Paste used Kleenexes to his/her walls.
55. Whenever your roommate comes in from the shower, lower your eyes and giggle to yourself.
56. If you get in before your roommate, go to sleep in his/her bed.
57. Put porno's under his/her bed. Whenever someone comes to visit your roommate when they're not home, show them the magazines.
58. Whenever you go to sleep, start jumping on your bed. Do so for a while, then jump really high and act like you hit your head on the ceiling. Crumple onto your bed and fake like you were knocked out. Use this method to fall asleep every night for a month.
59. If your roommate goes away for a weekend, change the locks.
60. Whenever his/her parents call and ask for your roommate, breathe into the phone for 5 seconds then hang up.
61. Whenever he/she goes to shower, drop whatever you're doing, grab a towel, and go shower too.
62. Find out your roommate's post office box code. Open it and take his/her mail. Do this for one month. After that, send the mail to him/her by UPS.
63. Collect all of your pencil shavings and sprinkle them on the floor.
64. Create an imaginary cat for a pet. Talk to it every night, act like you're holding it, keep a litter box under your desk. After two weeks, say that your cat is missing. Put up signs in your dorm, blame your roommate.
65. Call safety & security whenever your roommate turns up his/her music.
66. Follow him/her around on weekends.
67. Sit on the floor and talk to the wall.
68. Whenever the phone rings, get up and answer the door.
69. Whenever someone knocks, answer the phone.
70. Take his/her underwear. Wear it.
71. Whenever your roommate is walking through the room, bump into him/her.
72. Stare at your roommate for five minutes out of every hour. Don't say anything, just stare.
73. Tell your roommate that someone called and said that it was really Important but you can't remember who it was.
74. Let mice loose in his/her room.
75. Give each of your walls a different name. Whenever you can't answer a problem, ask each of your walls. Write down their responses, then ask your ceiling for the final answer. Complain to your roommate that you don't trust your ceiling.
76. Take your roommate's papers and hand them in as your own.
77. Skip to the bathroom.
78. Take all of your roommate's furniture and build a fort. Guard the fort for an entire weekend.
78. Gather up a garbage bag full of leaves and throw them in a pile in his/her room. Jump in them. Comment about the beautiful foliage.
80. When you walk into your room, turn off your lights. Turn them on then you leave.
81. Print up satanic signs and leave them in your room where he/she can find them.
82. Whenever you're on the phone and he/she walks in, hang up immediately without saying anything and crawl under your desk. Sit there for two minutes then call whoever it was back. (Shilorider)
--
111. Stick your head out the door and announce whatever your roommate is doing to the rest of the building. "He/She's getting out a book!" "He/She's taking out his/her glasses!" Go around the building and take requests for what people would like your roommate to do. Report the results to your roommate.
112. Bring your roommate gifts, but act angry and upset when you give them to him/her. If your roommate inquires, yell at him/her and shout "It is better to give than to receive, you"
113. Get a duck. While your roommate is out, put on some dance music, and wait for your roommate to come back. When he/she does, let him/her catch you dancing with the duck. Act surprised, turn off the music, and immediately go to bed. Get rid of the duck, and refuse to ever acknowledge that the incident occurred.
114. Turn out all the lights, and wait for your roommate to come home. When he/she does, whack him/her in the head with a golf club. Apologize, and explain that you thought he/she was a burglar.
115. Make your roommate show you two forms of ID before you let him/her use the telephone, microwave, etc. If he/she ever refuses, scream for help, and accuse your roommate of being an impostor.
116. Whenever your roommate wears something red, act like a bull and charge him/her with your head, knocking him/her down if possible. Suggest that your roommate sign up for matador lessons.
117. If your roommate snores, make a tape recording of it. Play it at full volume out your window. Tell your roommate that you're trying to summon a hippopotamus.
118. Every time you want to leave the room, stand and knock at the door until someone in the hall lets you out. If your roommate inquires, give him/her a lecture on politeness.
119. Collect various types of insects. Keep them in jars. Complain to your roommate that the insects seem lethargic. Start running bingo games for the insects. One day, while your roommate is out, release the insects and paint
insect bites and bee stings on your body. When your roommate returns, advise
him/her to never cheat while playing with bingo-obsessed bugs.
120. Get an extension cord. Put one end in your mouth, and plug the other
end into the wall each night while you do your homework. If your roommate
asks about it, act as though you're ashamed for having been so foolish. The
next day, pretend to drink some gasoline before doing your homework, and
explain to your roommate that gas is cheaper than electricity. (Shilorider)
--
none of my tokens have shown up. i'm getting a little pissed. actually, they did show up, cause i went in to check, but now they've disappeared, which is even more disturbing. little bo shilo has lost her tokens and doesn't know where to find them...(yeah, *that* one rhymed) (Shilorider)