The random entries continue to flow fast by me here, kinda' like all the toilets here at AOL (they've sorta' had to cut back a bit on maintenance and supplies going to this flat fee thingamajig). The flood continues below...
"..." (FireFlashX)
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If ignorance is bliss, then bliss is very expensive. (FireFlashX)
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What do you get when you cross Bill and Hillary? Hillbilly! (FireFlashX)
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Cold blue eyes watch
my every move. Silently, I grab
onto the steel bars. Dream of the other side.
Isolation scares me.
A gun rains on my thoughts.
It scatters my sunshine. Loud
footsteps crash. Darkness
stirs my soul. (JHRBOSS)
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Rectum? nearly killed 'em (Rit12345)
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I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is (Rit12345)
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How many special people really change? (Rit12345)
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DO YOUR EARS HANG LOW DO THEY WOBBLE TO AND FRO CAN YOU
TIE 'EM IN A KNOT, CAN YOU TIE 'EM IN A BOW CAN YOU THROW 'EM OVER YOUR SHOLDER LIKE A CONTINEL SOLDIER DO YOUR EARS HANG LOW! (MK4ALL)
LOL MK...I wonder if Ross Perot sings this to himself every morning when he wakes up...
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Yo mama is so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck! (Vinnie j1)
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There once was a time when he would have appreciated the slightly unnerving overtures of this elfin child, but lately he was more inclined to hang his head in disgust. (ProphetAT)
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Six thousand dollars...it's not even leather!! (TRR1111)
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oatmeal is squishy (Kanaida03)
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There are 3 words in the English language that end in the 3 letters, "gry". One is "angry" and the other is "hungry." The third is something you see and use everyday. I have already given you the third word. What is it? (GKrae60101)
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Has anyone seen my pet shoe? It's all green and lovely. (PhroZak)
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I am giving you a picture (Spike1919)
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Jodie Foster climbed into the hearse; the headless mannequin sitting in the back seat made my heart pound like a drum roll. Then she pulled a sheath off a jar revealing a moldy head which still had a shocked expression on its face. If my hair could have turned white like in cartoons, I'm sure it would have. I liked
the film, but I knew that for the next three months I would hide under my covers whenever I saw a moth. I had to look cool though-- I was with my friends. It was Jules Hirshkorns 11th birthday party, and I was still 10. This wasnt any two-to-four p.m. birthday party; it was a sleep over. Usually fifth grade birthday parties consisted of going to the arcade, eating cake, giving presents, receiving party favors, then going home. But Jules party showed that we fifth graders were maturing, and exorbitantly priced arcade games were a thing of the past. The party took place at Jules dads house. (His parents are divorced.) The party started with the present- giving. My present for Jules was a book called Kids Shenanigans. It contained instructions for building a homemade whoopee cushion, and tips and tactics on how to sneak
around a house without getting caught. It was dinner time after all the presents were unwrapped. We had plain cheese pizza, like at every other birthday party that ever existed. There was one kid I didnt know who brought his own cold cut grinder to the party because he had just gotten his braces put on that day. I found that slightly ironic because I couldnt imagine how a twelve-inch hoagie could not hurt newly tightened braces. Jules and some of his other friends wanted to watch McGyver which really surprised me because thats what I thought middle-aged women watch after dinner. They sure proved me wrong. We watched McGyver fight crime using only a paper clip and wad of tinfoil for an hour. After that we played Sonic the Hedgehog 2 until his parents went to bed. We got sick of Sonic, so we shut off the Sega. Just a few minutes later Jules ferreted through the video drawer until he found what he was looking for. He took the object out of a drawer with such slyness, I thought he was about to offer us drugs, or show us a 20-year-old issue of Playboy that he found in the basement. Instead it was a CVS brand T-120 VHS video cassette. On the label was written The Silence of the Lambs. My dad recorded it off Pay Per View. I doubt he wants us to see
it so we should keep quiet. I told everyone that it had won an Academy Award for best picture, so it had to be good. Little did I know how scary it was going to be. Jules put the tape into the VCR and hit play. Our eyes were glued to the psychological thriller about an FBI agent, played by Jodie Foster, who is traipsing across the country trying to find a mad killer who
likes to skin his victims, and stuff moths down their throats. To help her find the killer, she consults Hannibal The Cannibal Lector, a convicted serial killer who eats his victims. At 10 and 11, we did not understand that this movie might have been scarring us mentally, but we did laugh a lot when the
psychos at the loony bin ran into the walls of their unpadded cells. We all watched the TV screen gleefully until Hannibal Lector said he ate some poor guys liver with fava beans and a nice chianti. That was when the first of the guests slowly pulled their sleeping bags over their heads. We had some trouble understanding the plot, but we told ourselves that The Academy
picks only the most prestigious motion pictures for its awards--nothing that a 10-year-old could understand. The scariest scene had to be at the end when Jodie Foster shot the crazed killer in the dark of his cellar. Even Adam Chilenski, a kid who had put five matches out in his mouth a few days
earlier, covered his eyes. ourselves that The Academy picks only the most prestig Although some of the kids were twitching, we had all made it through the movie. We decided that we had had enough tube time for the night,
so we engaged in some 5th grade gossip. The one rule was that a person could only talk if he was holding the blue whoopee cushion that came with Kids Shenanigans. We all had a great nights sleep as one could imagine.
For the next few weeks I had to sleep with my closet light on. One day there was a moth in my room and I ran up to my parents bedroom. About a month after Jules party, it was time for mine. It was much like the previous party, but instead of staying up until 3:00 a.m., we pulled an all-nighter. Although I didnt rent any horror movies, Tales from the Crypt just happened to be on HBO. I knew full well that I would have a rough sleep if I watched it. What happened next even amazed myself. I walked out of the TV room saying that horror gave me the creeps. Yeah, me too, said Jules Hirshkorn. We both walked proudly out of the room, and drank hot chocolate while listening to some guys entrails being yanked out by a vulture. The rest of the kids
watching were white with fright. (Bendude)
Wow, this deserves a "WHOA!" just for sheer length and time spent alone...As for what possessed you to write this Bendude, I won't even speculate LOL...
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If I found a mint on my pillow, I wouldn't eat it. Ya know, germs and stuff.
(Mr Onliner)
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You know what's gonna happen when people start using thumbprint technology on credit cards? There's gonna be a run on protective thimbles (ya know, because people are going to start cutting off thumbs. What the hell is this world coming to?) (Mr Onliner)
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My "Style"Writer printer is wearing a polyester leisure suit. I think it's time to upgrade. (Mr Onliner)
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Coming soon to a movie theater or a smut dealer near you: SUPER BOWL XXX! FEATURING PLENTY OF TIGHT ENDS AND WIIIIIIIDE RECIEVERS! (Mr Onliner)
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Is it just me, or does the Apple logo look just a little bit too fruity for the Garden of Eden, if ya know what I mean! (Mr Onliner)
LOL, Mr. Onliner...and the way Apple has been struggling business-wise, it sounds like a few worms have gotten into that fruity logo of theirs as well...
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Don't you hate it when you see a wasp flying around so you spray the hell out of it and run and then you come back later and see it writhing around on the floor so you feel sorry for it until you step on it and it stings you so you get a shoe and beat it into the carpet and then dig it out with a pair of tweezers and
burn it at the stake with some toothpicks in an ashtray in an ancient sacrifice ritual to Grangoliralo, the Mataman God of Evil? (Mr Onliner)
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:-) Hur hur hur! Smiley! Hur hur hur! (Mr Onliner)
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Jack Palance is a dirty, dirty old man. (Mr Onliner)
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You know, you can never really see what's behind you (and don't go out and buy some of those mirror glasses. You see, the Burmese Government controls them.) (Mr Onliner)
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The term LOL disgusts me. If I'm laughing out loud at something, I just say "HAR HAR HAR! MAN THAT IS SOME FUNNY CRAP, MAN! DEAR LORD I'M DEVELOPING A BRAIN TUMOR! THAT IS HOW UNGODLY FUNNY THE WITTY COMMENT I HAVE JUST HEARD IS!!!!" (Mr Onliner)
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It is 3:36 P.M.S. He he he, I said PMS! (Mr Onliner)
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If Evander Holyfield beat up Mike Tyson, and this guy name Joey beat up Evander Holyfield in third grade, and this old homeless guy spanked that guy Joey when he was 2 months old, and I kicked that old homeless guy in the teeth, then doesn't that mean I can beat up Mike Tyson? (Mr Onliner)
You just might be able to, Mr....btw, just a rhetorical question to everyone...how much money would it take for you to get in the ring and get the crap beat out of you by a championship boxer?
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Astroturf scares me. It reminds me of E.T.'s toupee. (Mr Onliner)
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GO ALABAMA, CRIMSON TIDE! WE...nah nah nah nah nah nah nah...uh... mumumumumum...AUBURN SUCKS! GO BAMA! WHOOOOOOOOOO!
(Mr Onliner)
As a totally neutral observer, let me say that that was a great game...well, except for Auburn fans I guess...
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Oh please Mr. Server, won't you let my computer roam free?
I'm tired of the rut I'm in, my life is boring as it is.
If you would give me just one chance, I know that I could win!
Oh please Mr. Server, won't you let my computer roam free? (Song lyrics to the tune of "Oh Please Mr. Jailer") (T REX 01)
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hello? (GDCooper)
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There is something deeply, deeply disturbing about a girl wearing a Big Johnson shirt. YEEEECH! (Mr Onliner)
LOLOL!
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Can I exchange my HO Tokens for ValueJet frequent flyer miles? (Mr Onliner)
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Bye bye Mrs. American bi, er, pie! (Mr Onliner)
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Here is my impression of someone watching "Evening at the Improv" on the A&E Channel: Thank you, thank you very much. (Mr Onliner)
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My teacher said "Mr O, use a sentence with 'condole' in it." I said "What condole do now that he lost the election!" Lord, I'm funny. (Mr Onliner)
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Greg Kinnear is just too funny. Keep in mind, now, I'm not too bright. (Mr Onliner)
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San Diego needs to be hit by some sort of nuclear fireball. That's where they kill all the pandas. (Mr Onliner)
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Check it out! My dog thinks the cat is calling his name! Wait a minute, it is! (Mr Onliner)
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Yore durt dum with'a looks to match! Hurk hurk hurk! (Mr Onliner)
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Planes are a funny thing, ya know. I mean they fly, but...um...well...um...they're actually not that funny. Not at all, really. Hoo boy, that sucked. Man, that's bad. (Mr Onliner)
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This whole "staying clean" and "washing your hair" and "brushing your teeth" and "trying to avoid domesticated animals in the road while your driving" craze is really overrated. (Mr Onliner)
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Which word in this sentence is mispelled? No, really, I'm asking a question.
(Mr Onliner)
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The Symbolism Song
by: Mr O
The dog likes cats and the cat is fat,
the apple dropped to soon
and the trashcan poet on his cable box car alarm,
fed with his tin cup spoon.
Here we are now, entertain us,
Are you experienced? Have you ever been experienced?
I gave my love a chicken, it had no bones,
Doo doo doo doo, doo doo, doo doo, can't touch this
On the good ship, Loll-ypop.
Thank you. (Mr Onliner)
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They say if you lose a sense, your other senses get stronger. Well I lost my sight, hearing, taste, and smell. Feeeeellllings... I've got nothing more than feeeeeellllings...Man, I am the king of clever. (Mr Onliner)
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All I know is, these Nissan commercials are the scariest thing on TV since Pauly Shore. (Mr Onliner)
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Gimme back that flak jacket! (Mr Onliner)
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akjshflkjashdlkjsdhflkjshflkajshflakjdhflajkhfurietyiwuryetkjvnjhsurtsvtnyoweriumvsroieptv,seritumveirtupvmruetvneruisttrseesiotsiumpmteiuep (LPM108)
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jhjhjh (MSigmon918)
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I went on a cyer date to the Bahamas. A cyberlimo picked me up and i was wisked away to a private jet. We then landed on a private island with water fall and a logoon. I had a wonderful time. I was spoiled and pampered we ate dinner went swiming. I will never forget my cyber date. (RWatson757)
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(_(_) taking a dump in a lake
O
PLOP!
------\o/------------
ooo (BOLT4518)
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So where does my life end and NBC's Thursday nights Must see TV line up? (SGood42)
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i now know why we have hemaroids, so we can name them after shit like this. (LEEADER 1)
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Here's yer headline: "Clinton-Jiang Summit Accord Cheers APEC." Now what in the name of hell does that mean?!? (Mr Onliner)
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Imagine what the Sphinx felt like when he got back from his nose job and realized they broke the damn thing off! (Mr Onliner)
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I'll say, by jove, your governor must be a crusty old bird, my good man! (Mr Onliner)
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When it's raining, do cows run to the barn and scream "You've gotta let me in, I'm covered in leather and I'm going to get ruined?" (Gissep)
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have you heard about the new biker? its called, nuttin bitch! (DBBAKE)
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Two men fought in an alley. back to back they faced each other. They took out their knifes and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise and came and killed both the dead boys, and if you don't believe that this lie is true, ask John the blind man. He saw it too! Oh yea, and a parting word for all of you youngins out there... Friends don't let friends drive junk! (EddieSK8R)
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KEYWORD: Random (Truble1179)
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I was sitting here thinking, and well... (Truble1179)
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what is random anyway? (Truble1179)
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Can I have my tokens mailed to me...? (Truble1179)
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(Gemneye85)
Yes, there was indeed nothing written next to this particular screenname - I just wanted to let you know that folks...
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Why does Hess {the gas station where i live] keep selling toy trucks during the holidays? and they try to keep origionality by putting somthing different on the truck every year? (BIG SKY553)
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The buttmonkeys from the underworld want to Madona's house and had sex. When Madona came home she said " can I join in " ( it's Madona you know ) and the buttmonkeys said no, now Madona couldn't get pregnet because she was really a man. when the buttmonkeys found out they got so mad that they sacraficed Madona to Mr. Yakatooooooooookie, but Mr. Yakatooooooooookie said " I can't do this because she I mean he is my royal buttsnifer, the buttmonkeys were shocked and they ate themselfs. (FUNKM0NKEY)
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______)----- (_I_) cum, cum here (BHEC PHAT)
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ewwwwwwwww this is harsh. Not hershey chocolate!!!!!!!!! (BHEC PHAT)
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te he he (BHEC PHAT)
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that a BIG one!!!!!!!! (BHEC PHAT)
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I dont got no response............ (BHEC PHAT)
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Yo mamas so fat even Arsenio coudn't kiss all her butt!!!!!!!!!! (BHEC PHAT)
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I dont know... What the hell IS that? (D0KSAVAGE)
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Kids are like mushrooms. Keep 'em in the dark, feed 'em only manure, and they'll grow up healthy and happy. (AmazingMom)
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Adults are like plants. You give them food and water every day and they'll grow up loving you. (AmazingMom)
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Ok (Mad Vodka)
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Turd stew (yummy) (JGamel2774)
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i know this girl that was in school and one day she crapped her pants. this was in 8th grade. anyway when a friend of mine asked her if she had a accident she said that it was none of our business....like that doesn't give it away. (Xjive69)
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in an interview i heard that micheal jackson loves his new wife because she sparks his imagination. yeah, she sparks it alright, he imagines she is a eight year old boy. (Xjive69)
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bob dole is old (Xjive69)
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don't they think micheal j's kid will need security guards....to protect him from micheal (Xjive69)
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ok (Dado999)
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This is cool. I can deal with this "tokens" thingie. Really. It's kinda like playing pinball. You work your butt off, and all you get is a little whistle... or if you're lucky, an eraser with a picture of a dog on it or something. But I can deal with it. I'll just play along and hope for the best. Good thinking HO....congrats. I'm very proud of you. You guys can think of anything. You name it, and HO has an answer or solution. (CurlyAnnT)
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By the way, can you get tokens by kissing butt? Just wondering. (CurlyAnnT)
That might not be worth it these days, Curly - in order to get all these prizes, AOL's been cutting back on "non-essential" things like soap and toilet paper in the bathrooms...
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I'm thinking about sinking that dang CyberShip 2, taking down Captain Morgan and all hands. (CivilWar49)
Avast, ye matey Civil...ye do that, ye hear...arrrr!
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WARNING TO HUSBANDS!!!! I have learned something that may prove useful to you. If your wife asks you to take out the trash....under no circumstances should you answer.."Do you want to go to dinner or a movie?" (CivilWar49)