Eric's Other Three-Quarters

After last week, it seems like there's too many winners this week -- it's good to see we're back to normal, for lack of a better term.

First, 15 tokens to MephistoM for her Crucesbabe Chronicles (the last two installments placed below, so we welcome the confusion to those seeing these posts for the first time.) Meph didn't get much of a response to her thread -- that's right, she shut the RG up -- not just for one post but for a whole thread. This week, that was a precious thing.

Subject: Re: The Crucesbabe Chronicles
From: MephistoM
A little late, but she has replied:

I'm sorry you feal so strongly about hating me - My name is Tiffany Heavner I am a sophomore in Las Cruces NM - I'm not the kind of person to do anything mean so I apologize for using your name. :)

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Subject: Re: The Crucesbabe Chronicles
From: MephistoM
My reply:

My God woman! What do you think you're doing?! For all you know, I could be a deranged ax-murderer on a cross-country trip through Las Cruces! Jeez, work with me people, work with me!

Hasty Lumbago,
Crystal Meph

P.S. Listen, chickie. It seems to me that the only sentence you took offense to was the one clearly marked "this sentence is fiction."

P.P.S. Man, it's hot down here. How do you stand it? Ah well. Let me rev up the chainsaw.*

*this post script is fiction. I do not own a chainsaw, and I would never take a vacation through Las Cruces.

Next, 10 tokens to a couple of kids. But, TyleredOne and Bumppis will have to accept on their behalf, because it seems their moms are shielding them from the Random Gamers. Now if only all mothers of pre-teens did the same...
Subject: Re: Seasons of Wither......
From: TyleredOne
Seen in my daughters homework:

A made up advertisement for her "Super Vacuum Cleaner "
The motto of which is:
" You'll love really sucks !"
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Subject: Re: My CHILD-ish thread...
From: Bumppis
MOM!!!! Reno's immitating me!

MOM!!!! Reno's immitating me!

Real mature mom, haven't had your coffee yet have you?

Now, the first of three 25-token winners: Atani7.
Subject: Re: Carc's Place
From: Carcazed
And...The Number One Top Ten Thing I Can't Remember:
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Subject: Re: Carc's Place
From: Carcazed
Today a customer called me asking about a bill he received. As I was explaining the bill, I kept hearing a voice in the background talking about anesthesia and surgery. It was clear that the customer was not listening to me, so I just waited. Apparently, the guy was in a hospital room about to have major surgery, and he was worried about 20 bucks worth of parts. There was nothing wrong with his
bill, so I told him he'd have to pay. This set him off, and he wanted to speak to my boss. I explained very calmly that the manager was out of the office and therefore couldn't take the call. The genius demanded that I let him hold, so I let him. After about 30 minutes, the line stopped flashing. He must have died.
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Subject: Re: Carc's Place
From: Carcazed
One day I was downtown without a car, so I hailed a cab. When the driver asked for the address, I asked "won't you take me to Funkytown?" After seeing the driver's blank stare, I said "take me to the river." Another blank stare. Sensing that this was my last try, I said "fly me to the moon." The driver, never looking up, told me to get out of his damn cab and said "who's gonna drive you home?"

Wait, let me try that again. 25 tokens to *Atani7.*
Subject: Re: FUR BALL
From: The Kat 4u
kat's rules on posting:

make sure you hole is deep enuf, otherwise, it will fall over when you nail your fence to it...
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Subject: Re: FUR BALL
From: The Kat 4u
kat's new them song for the RG:

my game has a first name
it's r-a-n-d-o-m
my game has a second name
it's g-a-m-e
and if you as me why i sayyyyyyyy
that random game realy is great for
p-r-o-c-r-a-s-t-i-n-a-t and e

. . .I got it this time. Unfortunately for him, he only gets the last 25.
Subject: Re: fill me in here
From: Atani7
>Ok, interpret that subject how you want to. Can anybody explain the purpose of having two RG boards? I don't really see any, but I like this one better. >Gorp

::Bad Beavis laugh:: you said fill.....

My guess on it is that some kind of Random experiment went horribly wrong, splitting Myrrh into 5 different personalities and the random game into two boards, permanently removing any chance of us reconciling the Imajica into one...oh wait, got on the wrong story there. Sorry
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Subject: Re: Atani's Love Shack
From: Atani7
Many of you have probably wondered how I have all the luck with women. Well I'm here to teach you a few of the basic concepts on how to impress and seduce the women.


2-Never tell them they're their face anyway

3-Don't, I repeat, don't ever shoot them. This usually turns them off quickly and often leads to criminal proceedings.

4-Leave flowers on their bed. It is wise to make sure that the flowers are insect-free when doing this.

5-It's usually bad taste to introduce them to your ex...especially when you haven't released her back into the wild yet.

6-While humorous to some, first dates usually frown on seeing who can hit the concierge by firing after-dinner mints from the nasal cavity.

7-Sex on a first date is very simple, just make sure she didn't see you sneak away with the hooker.

8-Make sure she doesn't work in the criminal records department(obvious enough).

9-If you feel like it's time to make your move, make sure they don't see you sneak from the hedges to the door.

10-Hot wax is a fun toy in bed. Be carefull however not to use it when soaked in gasoline.
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Subject: Re: Atani's Love Shack
From: Atani7
After 6 hours straight of watching TV, I have the incredible urge to kill my generation. Then go out and by a veggie juicer. Strange...

Wow, 40 tokens going out on one entry, and an IM at that:
20 "tokens" to "Miss Aimee" and "ARIES666." Aw man, I suck at this.

Subject: Re: All Aimee, All the time.
From: Miss Aimee
I think I found a new way to get my apartment clean....(edited for length)
Miss Aimee:hmm... want to wash my kitchen floor?
ARIES666:What do I get out of it?
Miss Aimee:hey.. If I put that in quotes, it sounds perverted...
want to "wash my floor"
ARIES666:I guess I could "wash your floor"
Miss Aimee:ok... just come on over and "wash my floor"
ARIES666:Can I use my "mop" to "wash your floor"?
Miss Aimee:I'd love it if you brought your "mop" to my "apartment"
ARIES666:SO I am going to take my "mop" into your "apartment" and "wash your floor"
Miss Aimee:hehe... yup.
Miss Aimee:while you're at it you could "dust my shelves"
ARIES666:And "spakle your holes"
Miss Aimee:sure... just remember to bring your own "supplies"
ARIES666:Just as long as you have a place where I can "store" them
Miss Aimee:you can "store" them in the "hall closet."
Miss Aimee:or "under the sink" if you'd prefer...
ARIES666:Those "shelves' look like they need to be "polished"
Miss Aimee:feel free to "polish" the "shelves", but make sure you "get under the books."
ARIES666:Oh, that was my original intention. Do you mind if I "use the back door" to bring all my "supplies" in?
Miss Aimee:no, I would prefer if you brought the "supplies" in through the "front door" because the "back door" is "off limits"

Winning a total of 35 tokens are Goo and Mitch -- that splits up evenly, too, with Goo getting 20 and Mitch getting 15.
Subject: Re: Newstyle, Freestyle, Random Jamdom!!!
From: SGood42
I got arrested this weekend for impersonating a CPR doll.
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Subject: Re: Newstyle, Freestyle, Random Jamdom!!!
From: SGood42
"I am stuck on Band-Aid brand cause I was in a really bad car accident adn I've lost alot of blood while the doctor is saying I probally only have a 50-50 chance of living!"

Hmmm not as catchy..back to the drawing board...
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Subject: Re: STUPID
From: SGood42
>Everybody just die.>Metal Ozzy


>>::saves Conade using mouth to mouth::
(Fredrick Von Winklemehem Mmmmm Perky Nipples)<<

Uhhh that was Atani...not Conade......Ewwwwww Chris just kissed another guy!!!!...i always knew that "I LOVER WOMAN" thing was just a beard for your true feelings..heh heh.
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Subject: Tale wind
From: MitchRK
When I was eight years old (I should probably mention right now that this story is entirely fictional, and therefore all of the elements of the story, though they might indeed sound totally plausible, are in fact utterly made-up, entirely by me and no one else, because no one else was needed to make up any of the parts of this story except for me. The story itself is not to be taken seriously, seeing as it is fictional, and though it is told as if it is about me, it really is about no one who actually exists, but rather as if the narrator were telling the story talking about himself, or possibly herself, since the gender of the narrator is not made clear within the narrative of the story, which further goes to show that it is not about me, an existing person of only one gender, that of male, for those of you who did not know. I am only the author, the one who made up the story, without the need to research any facts, as none were needed) I stole a car.

The end.
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Subject: Stop (that) watch
From: MitchRK
This is my favorite time of day. Well, there it goes.

And 10 tokens to everyone else. Well, everyone else who is listed here.
Subject: Re: Cooking....
From: EatRedhead
>>Mom's never let dad cook again.>>

For some reason women seem too quick to blame this on incompetence and not a scheme to get out of cooking for the rest of the marriage.
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Subject: My cat(heter)
From: ChiaDork
I just adopted a three legged cat. I named her Tripod. My roommate said that was disrespectful. So I renamed her Partial Roadkill.

Stupid roommate.
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Subject: Re: Sal is not dead!
From: DrSalina
Actual conversation had earlier in the day...

"So, are you going to Mexican Village today?"
"Why would I be going there today?"
"It's cinco de mayo, you know..."
"No... cinco de mayo is tomorrow... today is the 4th..."
"I know that... cinco de mayo is always on the 4th..."
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Subject: Re: Ozma's All Natural Highs
From: Ozma22
You know you're not a good dieter when you eat around the walnuts in your mocha nut fusge ice cream 'cause nuts have too much fat.
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Subject: Re: Chris's little thoughts
From: Chriskolak
Don't hate me 'cause you're beautiful
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Subject: Re: Cooking....
From: EatRedhead
>>Mom's never let dad cook again.>>

For some reason women seem too quick to blame this on incompetence and not a scheme to get out of cooking for the rest of the marriage.
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Subject: Re: My cat(heter)
From: LndonSleep
>>I once met a boy with three legs... I tried to call him partial roadkill but I only got confused... so I just smiled and nodded. Eventually I knocked him off of a bridge... now he has an extra arm... go figure?(smasher)>>

minnesota is getting famous for its deformed frogs. we even have deformed frogs living in our swimming pool and fish pond. they have extra legs, two heads, we even found a tadpole this spring with three tails.
geez it's 80 degrees. i think i'll go for a swim.
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Subject: feeling naked
From: MStout555
i forgot to wear my watch again today. so i did a little math. you are 37 times more likely to look at your wrist if there is nothing on it.

MStout's entry seems almost TAGgable. I mean: he's new, he posted in complete sentences, with correct spelling, and with a post that is not first board material. Then it hit me -- his capitalization -- he's one of us. (Or, I'm wrong and you guys just didn't TAG him in time.) At any rate, congratulations to this week's winners; that's all of them.