An Actual Random Age

There were so many possible names for this week's winners file. I was going to name it the Age of No View/Deja Vu or go with MissAimee's idea--I believe it was The Age of Lost and Found The Age of Lost and Found. But assuming this AOL glitch never happens again (audible laughter is heard), I think we will quickly forget this week of disappearing and multiple appearances of posts. However, for a permanent record of this event, Zornog gets 15 tokens for summing it up.

Subject: Random Game Has Scientists Baffled
From: ANT Zornog
San Diego, CA (Reuters) - Today in a San Diego research facility, three of the United States best scientists got together to find out the real problem in the Random Game. It seems that earlier in the week, certain RG posts were mysteriously disappearing, leaving nothing behind.
"We've made progress, definately, but the problem just hasn't been totally solved." Says Dr. Don Falisk, a physics professor at San Diego University. "It seems that the posts just disppeared!"
Later in the day, almost all of the posts reappeared, from as early as Sunday, January 11th. Scientists are still mystified as to why the posts were gone in the first place.
"Why in the hell are we working on this anyway?" Says Dr. Jon Vasoni, make-up instructor at Clown College University. The scientists took a week off to find the answer to the mystery, and all they got back were free Blimpies and BBQ Baked Lays.
Upon interviewing one of the RG players, the ringleader, HO Myrrh, we quickly found out that the RG hates us and wants our blood in their goblets of pain. We quickly left, realizing our predicament.

Because so many posts from last week only showed up this week, there were even more posts than usual from which to choose winners. Being the indecisive type, this means a lot of tokens are being handed out. Also, since the Golden Globe Awards officially kicked off the Award Season, I feel it's perfect time to say: "Remember, everyone who plays the Random Game is winner (in their own "special" way), some of you just deserve tokens more than others."

ANThatsme doesn't deserve tokens, but is getting 10 for posting such a perfect set-up for replies.

Subject: Jerry Springer
From: ANThatsme
Ya know, Jerry Springers " Too Hot for T.V" video tape is so hot especially on the nude parts... In fact Im wathing it now and my hands are numb.

TootLoops doesn't exactly deserve 10 tokens either, but he's back and he's being silly. Jamie, Krissy, and Chris didn't go anywhere, but they get 10 tokens anyway.
Subject: Re: aimee
From: TootLoops
>>Ah... I miss Toots. He's engaged, ya know.<< Bloodguilt

>>I know. I miss the Pinhead, too. Has he sent you an invitation yet?>> Carc

I'm missed?????? Me?????? Toots?????

Well, paint me purple and call me a purple goofy looking painted guy.
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Subject: Re: Jl's not-so-random stuff
From: Jlbkwrm
It is better to have loved and lost, than to be licked by clowns.
Furthermore, it's better to love and lose than to have *any* physical contact with clowns.
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Subject: Re: What I Learned today (take 2)
From: Krissy Lin
Today I learned yet another way to make my computer illertarate physics teacher go insane.

(I turned off his computer monitor)
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Subject: Re: YO MOMMA Jokes!
From: Chriskolak
>>YO MOMMA so stupid, she got hit by a parked car!
YO MOMMA so stupid, she invented the solar flashlight!>>

Damn stupid people ruining perfectly good Polish Jokes.

20 tokens to Repeatr's Boredom By-Product post for truth in advertising. Although I wasn't bored enough to read through the whole thing, it sounded like it should be funny.
Subject: Boredom By-Product
From: Repeatr621
In my time cutting class, I have found various things to do while wandering around a small city. This may not be pretty.

1. Sit in a square of sidewalk and proclaim it your new country. Declare war on everyone who passes through without your permission. Levy taxes.

2. Claim you are a militant nonviolent protestor and scream at people.

3. Carry around a calculator, and pretend to be calculating something rather involved. Every now and then, mutter "No, that won't work" or "I can't do that to these people".

4. Tie your shoes. Walk a few feet, then untie your shoes. Walk a few feet, then tie them again and say, "Damn shoes keep coming untied!". Repeat often.

5. Tell various people that you saw them in the newspaper and then run away yelling, "Look! It's that guy/girl who was in the newspaper!"

6. Blame everything on the Republicans. If someone says they are a Republican, blame everything on the Democrats. If someone asks you what party your member of, say that you are a Fecalist, and they're better than the crap in office now.

7. Carry around a curbline mailbox. Place it down in various places and say you're waiting for a very important letter from your cousin in Anartica.

8. Ask people how they feel about the conflict in New Zimbabawe.

9. Ask anyone if they've seen Beaver. Tell them that his mother is looking for him.

10. When someone says hello to you, say "Hey you, or is it really you? I know about the Plan!" and run away screaming.

11. Sell the meaning of life for $19.95. If anyone buys, give them a piece of paper with an arrow on it and tell them to follow it.

12. Do math problems in the air with your finger. If anyone asks, tell them you're showing your imaginary friend Eduardo how to do his math homework.

13. Carry around a cardboard box. If anyone asks, tell them it's your laptop computer and you're playing the Random Game. Mutter things like "Tag" or "Where's my thread?"

14. Shake hands with people, then run away saying "Ha! You've got cooties now!", then fall down claiming the cooties have killed you.

15. Laugh hysterically. When someone asks you about it, say as calmly as possible, "I'm laughing, what does it look like?". Wait 30 seconds. Start laughing again.

16. Think of inane, pointless, and long Random Game posts. Post said post.

15 tokens to Kira. Even though it's January 21st, future readers of this file (more audible laughter is heard) should be aware that AOL didn't loose this post, Kira actually posted it in the last week. AOL probably did lose the complaints from those who had to work on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day--those posts will most likely show up in March.
Subject: Re: Seasons of Wither......
From: Kira1119
>>You know,New Years Eve is just another night if you spend it completely fact,it's worse because there's only crap on tv. (TyleredOne)<<

It's even worse when you have to work, and all the people who come in say what a shame it is that you have to work, and you just want to scream, " If someone wasn't here, who would sell you your cigarettes and condoms?!"

30 tokens to TyleredOne for the additions to her Seasons of Wither thread; nothing more needs to be said except these posts were among them:
Subject: Re: Seasons of Wither......
From: TyleredOne
My mom was given cold medicine the other night,and she slept till 10am the following morning.Finally,a nurse went in to check on her,explaining," You were alseep so long,we were afraid you were dead."........I feel so at ease knowing my mom's nursing home hires such sensitive nurses.........
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Subject: Re: Seasons of Wither......
From: TyleredOne
When my best friend is home alone late at night,and I see her online, sometimes for fun I create a scary screen name and them im her...when she refuses to talk to me,I start telling her where she lives,where she works,her actual name,and her parents address......

I think it was this time last year that I first said Nyello frightened me, and where is he today? (That's not a rhetorical question, by the way.) Anyway, I think it's now time to say that SoupEater? You frighten me, too. Now, if you follow in Nyello's footsteps you may become a Random Game legend or you may turn up as a missing person--good luck on whichever path you choose to pursue. 10 tokens to this long list of people.
Subject: Re: Things You Wish You Could Say To Restaurant Customers
From: SoupEater
You know what? I am never dining out again. The last time I did, I had to listen to this big talking fly explain why there was a waiter in my soup. And the time before that, my soup was apologizing to me because there was a fly in my waiter. And then there was the time the waiter's fly was open, and you know what was in the soup. Oi!
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Subject: Re: somethings wrong
From: SunDewlady
The last words my ex-husband said to me 3 years ago before I kicked him out was "Your gonna miss me!"
Well, I hate to say it, but he was right. The toilet backed up this morning. I sure do wish he was here to stick his hand in there and fix it.
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Subject: Re: 12:00
From: MrMrsStry
Hey folks, I hear this guy was also in charge of the Sheep Cloning thing. It was supposed to be just for sexual purposes, but to get the grants, he needed some sort of scientific merit.
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Subject: Political Scandels Revealed!
From: Krazyk242
Who can forget the great political scandels of our time? Watergate, Whitewatergate,.....the list goes on. But too often these scandels are never discovered by the probing eyes of the press and we never learn about the unbridled carnage that takes place in Washington DC. Such scandels of long since:

Toiletgate: someone covered all the opening in the toilets of capitol Hill with saran wrap.

Dairygate: someone drank all the milk.

Petgate: the futile attempt to teach pets sex education

Coffeegate: someone switched the President's regular coffee with Folger's Crystals.

Blondegate: in an attempt to kill the US's blondes, thereby forcing Congress to sleep with their wives, Iranian terrorists attempted to conquer the Western world by directing the blondes to hold their breath to the count of three. As a result, many valiant young blondes lost their lives.
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Subject: Re: You're a good man, Jack Daniels
From: IGiveIn
{I don't know if this is the whisky talking but I sure would like to see Newt Gingrich get down and funky.}

Nah. You just have a soulless lizard fetish. Happens every day.
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Subject: Re: My Purty Thread
From: Atani7
I was just sitting here typing away, when my dogs(who are both asleep in their beds) started to make those doggy-dream noises, and I was just wondering what they were dreaming about. Maybe they dream that they are the masters, and we must beg and roll-over for food, and because of the dream, they begin an underground revolution to overthrow the oppressing humans. So I slammed a book down and watched them jump, then cower like the obedient creatures they should be...And now everyone should thank me for saving our wonderfull existence from being overthrown by our canines, or everyone can hit me for wasting approximately 3 and 2/3 minutes of their time.
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Subject: Re: Miss Aimee's underwear drawer
From: Miss Aimee
On my application for a Firearms Ownership Identification card, There was a space that said "reason for application." Well, I wrote "see manifesto." I hope I get approved.
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Subject: Re: Khalethra, dragon of haikus
From: Khaleth
I think that I'm bored
I'm writing haikus about
This dumb message board.

Finally this week, an apology for something I said last week. I said that of those who didn't receive tokens recently and then of those who didn't remind me of the fact, Goo remained. I was wrong and several of you pointed that out to me. I'd like to give tokens to each of those others right now, except I forgot who you are. So, instead, 15 tokens to Goo, Carc, and Snipes.
Subject: Re: Newstyle, Freestyle, Random Jamdom!!!
From: SGood42
You know one of these days I'm going to take that one constantly reappearing E-mail's advice and decide to turn my computer into a Cash Cow. But i but the second I do that the worlds supply of milk will run out and I'll kick myslef for not turning it into a regular cow.
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Subject: Re: Cats
From: SGood42
>>I like cats.
Do YOU like cats?>>

>>Naa too hairy Dogs rule!!!!!!!! (Maskaros)<<

I think its time to change Hot-Dog vendors buddy.
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Subject: Re: Carc's Colorful Cache of Comedy
From: Carcazoid
Once, on a bet, I swallowed a whole shakerful of salt. I then followed that with a fifth of tequila and 45 limes. When I came out of the coma, I collected my two bucks.
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Subject: Re: Lndonstorm
From: Carcazoid
>>(lndonsleep - hard)<<

Psst...that's US's shtick...
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Subject: Re: Krissy Lin's corner of the assylum
>>You must be kidding...Richard Greico was enough of a reason to watch that show...::swoons:: (PiaAdams)<<

Now don't get me wrong, Depp and Greico are all that and a bag of chips, but I only watched it for the articles.
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Subject: Re:

That's all this week! You know, I heard that because the Pope's muscles and bones are weak, he can no longer kiss the ground of countries he visits. So, today in Cuba, children will bring him a pillow which has Cuban dirt on it, and to kiss up to the people of Cuba, he will kiss the dirt. I would just like to say, I now appreciate what you all have to go through in order to get tokens from me.