[It seems The War was taken a little too seriously this week by those who blurred the line between heckles and insults. But in any relationship, even one as dysfunctional as the Random community's, making up is worth any of the prior difficulties. Note to JamiJR and DJCDACE: I said making up, not making out ;o)

So, get drunk and scream a few "I love you man!"s to anyone you wish and then we'll move on as if nothing happen. Moving on: 10 tokens to each of the following posters.]

Subj: Re: MagicClams' Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: MagicClams

I have this suspicion that my Half and Half is really only 49% cream....it's getting so I can't eat cornflakes anymore without being afraid I'm going to overdose on milk...
* * * *
Subj: HEY!!!!!!!!!!!
From: Tansa


i was thinking . . . . . .


(i don't do that too often and i just wanted to share my achievement with all of you)
* * * *
Subj: A song dedicated to my mother
From: Gomer Lord

This is to my mother:

Mom, you are so nice
I don't think that I could possibly repay you
You are just peachy keen
And you are never mean
And this is all I have to say . . . . .


Oh Mother,
You are so kind
You are so sweet
You comforted me when I was scared
But there is something else that you should
know . . . . . .



-Gomer Lord

[15 tokens to JamiJR because I'd hate to be blamed if she doesn't get 150 tokens by the deadline.]
Subj: You know what would be neat?
From: JamiJR

If you could attach files to the newgroups boards like you can e-mail. Then I could just share my picture and favorite wav files with everyone who wanted to down load them.

I also think it would be neat if we could impeach Clinton and Bill too.

And it would be really neat if I could just stay up all night and sleep all day.

And I would love to be able to condem to Hell anyone I wanted.

It also would be neat if HO Myrrh let me win enough tokens so I could have at least 150 before July 31st because I only have 121 right now.

Jami JoAnne Russell
(^_^)<---Yes, that's still a mask.
(And all you bullies who pick on my spelling can just bite me!)
(DJCDace is SO sweet!)

[Original or not, I don't know. 15 tokens to Conade and GORP007, too.]
Subj: Rejected State Mottos
From: Conade

Literacy Ain't Everything

At Least We're not Oklahoma

Se Habla Ingles

New York City's OTHER Suburb

The Gunshine State

Famous Potatoes ... and Neo-Nazis

Gateway to Iowa

Home of Dan Quayle

Don't Blame Us, We Voted For Dole

Tobacco is a Vegetable

For Sale

We're Better Than Virginia, Damn It!

Land of 7,000 lakes and 3,000 man-made ponds

Land of the Big Sky, and Very Little Else

The Garbage State

Lizards Make Excellent Pets

You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an

Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Don't Judge us by Cleveland

Jerry Garcia was here!

Cook with Coal

Closer than North Dakota

The Educashun State

Don't Mess with Texas -- We're Armed

Our Jesus is Better Than Your Jesus

We're Better Than Maryland, Damn It!

Keep Washington Green, Grow Hemp

Flat Is Where It's At
War does not determine who's right, war determines who's left.
* * * *
Subj: Advise from wise man
From: GORP007

Do what you want,
Do all you can
Break all the freakin rules and go to hell with superman and die like a champion--hey.

Never pee into the wind
Never pee on an electrical fence
Never pee away from an electrical fence into the wind.

But I heard him say:
We can take them all, We can them all, that's what he said, We can take them all
But he didn't know who we were
And he didn't know who they were
And there wasn't any reason or motive or value to his story
Just alegory immitation glory
And the desperate people look for friend.

A penny saved will earn you about .07 cents each year.
after about 15 years, you will have 2 pennies.
In thirty years, 3 pennies.
In the average lifetime, you will have 7 pennies, now aren't you glad you saved that penny.

It's not just trail mix,it's a way of life.

[Krazyk242 is in the winner's circle yet again. 20 tokens to her this week.]
Subj: Gasp! Prom Night!
From: Krazyk242
It's that time of year again- Prom Night. Here is some advice to honor the blood, sweat, and tears that occur on that one magical night.

sex is not a prom favor. do not treat it as such.

do not steal people's shoes. In some cultures this is considered an invite for sex.

if someone shows up wearing the same dress as you (this includes gay men), do the respectable thing. Spread the word that she/ he has herpes.

Stood up? Now is the time that portable flamethrower comes in handy.

Spilled something on your outfit? Start a trend and

the color of insanity

not suitable or small children or flying rodents.
* * * *
Subj: Transvestite On the Move
From: Krazyk242

Sally looked down the street and considered all the possible customers for her "escort service". Sally's Escort Service. Somehow the "Happy Hooker" didn't work with the conservative bunch in the neighborhood. Sally decided long ago that it was a better euphemism for prostitution, one that top lawyers, buisnessmen, policeman, and even the mayor could tolerate. Ah, the mayor. He was one of Sally loyal customers. That frumpy houswife of his had
nothing to match Sally's slender, shapely frame. A smartly dressed man tentatively approached Sally, taking in the sexy blonde hair, skimpy clothes, and stiletto heels. Another customer for Sally's Escort Service. There hadn't been many customers for quite some time. But soon, Sally thought, there'll be more. Once I get my operation and become a woman physically, they'll come.

the color of insanity

not suitable or small children or flying rodents.

[Nyello usually scares me, but for some reason this week I feel compelled to give him 25 tokens.]
Subj: Subliminal Messages
From: Nyello

We have all, no doubt, heard about subliminal messages, and I am
(Give me tokens, lots and lots of tokens)
opposed to the whole ides of them. Infact, I despise them. What
(Give 'em to me by the truckfull)
kind of person would use subliminal messages to solicite, say,
(Gimme tokens!! Gimme 'em NOW!!!!!!!)
tokens from an online service? A sick person, that's who.
(Sick as I may be, I still wnat those tokens!!!!!!)

Thank you for your time
(lots and lots of tokens)
"TheysaythatpeopleprefereRaguoverPregualmost two to one. What do they mean 'almost'? They either do or they don't! What's wrong with them?!
* * * *
Subj: Let's not make a single mistake ...
From: Nyello

People don't realize how may times I use the backspace/delete key. I will now make an entry in which I will notuse the backspace key:

I saw looked at a monky monkey the other yesterday day when all of a suden sudden I saw the large spank handle prof trudting protruding from its it's mouth . And Iscreamed "BETRAYL!!!!!!!! BETRAYAL!!!!!!!!" when all of a suden suddenly Susan.

And now you see what reading all of these Random Posts with spelling and grammar errors has done to me.

"TheysaythatpeopleprefereRaguoverPregualmost two to one. What do they mean 'almost'? They either do or they don't! What's wrong with them?!

[Mouthwash molecules or no mouthwash molecules, we must love Lavoris49 anyway. This week she's loved enough to get the incredible amount of tokens (well, for the Random Game) totaling 30 in all. Why 30? Here's three reasons why.]
From: Lavoris49

I don't wanna Shut up;
I'm a Random Game bum.
There are several ways to say Shut up
That I can think of.

In a witty phrase, loud or soft,
Anyway, just say it often.

I don't wanna Shut up,
'Cause maybe if I did,
I wouldn't be a Random Game kid.

Shut Up!!

I get really tired of making up these little quotes. ::sigh:: Everybody's always telling me to do this, do that, and not eat toast in between. I wish Carc would show up. "
L49<---- mouthwash molecules
* * * *
Subj: I just don't know.
From: Lavoris49

These colors are kind of getting on my nerves. I mean, it's cool at first but then it's just like there's too much color. And every time you post something, you've got to think about what colors to use. I try to use just standard black on white, but there are so many options, so many oppurtunities to make a post more creative and effective. Too bad I don't have any more ideas. A few weeks
ago, I would wish that I could make text smaller, or use color or italics. Now I just have no need. My head is empty. Kind of ironic isn't it? Let's not talk about how overused that word is. Ever since Alanis Morisette's song, where the majority of the scenarios aren't actually ironic, everyone just feels free to use it in any instance.

"God, this paperclip is caught on my finger! Isn't it ironic?"

"Gee, I can't decide which earrings to wear? Isn't it ironic?" ::airheaded laugh::

I hate it when stupid people throw around complex concepts like they know what they're talking about, just because some celebrity has made it trendy. It would be really easy to look up "ironic" in the Dictionary. And it has a pretty simple meaning. It's just been perverted by lazy morons, who probably don't even know they're misusing it, so I pity them. I'm sorry, morons.

I get really tired of making up these little quotes. ::sigh:: Everybody's always telling me to do this, do that, and not eat toast in between. I wish Carc would show up. "
L49<---- mouthwash molecules
* * * *
Subj: Re: Lalalalala!
From: Lavoris49

>> but then again, I'm insane, so what do I know?>>

People who say they're insane rarely ever are. Take me, for example, I'm not insane.

Okay, Carc, it's not funny anymore. You can come out, now. "
L49<---- mouthwash molecules

[Not to make Lavoris49 feel inadequate, but MitchRK is getting 30 tokens for just one post.]
Subj: Youthful slang
From: MitchRK

The key to youthful slang is assigning definitions to english words that the dictionary does not officially recognize. For example, the word "word," sometimes combined with the word "up," might seem at first glance (or first hearing) to have some meaning having to do with a series of letters grouped together (and a direction away from the center of the earth), when what it really means, in youthful slang, is something of a greeting. In a
similar way, "home" does not refer to where one lives as much as it does to one's friend (see also "homey," which is not meant as a description of a person's dwelling).

If you want to be ahead of the curve, as it were, you might try experimenting with what can best be described as word (original meaning) substitution when you speak with young people. It would be necessary to keep track of the new words and their new meanings to be sure that it retains at least the appearance of validity. You might say, "I need to bell your fish plod, so my sandpaper quoth will be oven," when what you mean is that you wish to
borrow someone's math book so that your (expletive) mother will be happy. Or you could say, "My every is not plug, but I gravy your pruner bun," to ask where someone got their shoes. Perhaps you could say, "Interplay frog boom ticket am wart clef speakers dry phone rib-port-rib, creak over flood between, Homey," to say thanks for the pizza, and next time I'm buying, buddy.

Remember, learning youthful slang can be rather challenging, but once you get into the rhythm of it, the experience can open new doors of communication, or, as the kids would say, "Slumber fry runner stew purple droop, turnip bat forty-seven kangaroo wire, nope-rest-tree-visor-gravity in the uncle elk."


Click hereto go to my web page, which looks exactly like this screen.

[I can vouch for Mitch's web page. The coding must have taken hours.]