[When I get overtired, I get a one track mind. Normally one would say: "She's tired, her mind must be on sleep." But, apparently from the theme of the majority of these winners, my mind has been on typing. Furthermore, it is on errors and erroring, as well the an appreciation for those who type a lot--most of it correctly.]
[First up we have 10 tokens going to Tansa and USAmen. Tansa exposed a mistake we all make no matter what our typing expertise...well, at least I do it, too. Then, USAmen, who usually has excellent grammar and spelling, distracts us from his mistakes this time around with an interesting post.]
Subj: i'm a lil dizzy
i can't type very well, i only use my pointers. so i hate it when i accidently use my pinky on the delete button and miss it. i hit the freaking help button. then i have to wait while the computer realizes that i need help. as soon as screen appears i close it. and then today as i hit the wrong button and the do you need help sign came up again i thought. could my pinky be trying to tell me something?
( but you can call me Master)
* * * *
Subj: Re: Going To Monkey Jungle!
You know, I just remembered something weird about Las Vegas and Mormons (aside from the fact that Las Vegas was founded as a Mormon settlement). True story. I'm in a casino one day and I'm watching this guy putting quarters in a slot machine, but he never takes out any of the winnings -- his wife is doing that. He feeds them in the top, she takes them out of the bottom. The guy sees me looking at him funny,
and he volunteers to me this little gem of logic: "We're Mormons and we aren't allowed to gamble, but as long as I just put quarters in and don't take out any of the winnings, it's okay." Of course, the implication is that it's okay if his wife just takes them out as long as she doesn't put them in. Interest reasoning there. So if I go to Utah with a buddy, and hold someones head in an empty bucket while my buddy fills it up with water, we
haven't commited murder? I'll have to remember that if anyone in Utah ever pisses me off. ~~~~~ And since I'm on the subject of unusual religious beliefs, I am reminded of an old joke about Baptists (some of which are not supposed to dance I understand)....Question: Why don't Baptists have sex standing up? Answer: It looks too much like dancing.
Never Talks About
Religion, Politics and
That Third One .
[Mr Onliner, a veteran of the Random Game, who is now throwing himself back into the battle, receives 25 tokens this week. I've been waiting for an excuse to give him tokens for his lovely signature. I've waited long enough for a quality post, so this entry will have to do.]
Subj: Re: MagicClams' Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: Mr Onliner
I'd like to contribute something to this before I forget it. I've got this sorry ass old shirt with holes in it and it's paper thin, and one day I'm just going to walk into a room and rip it off like Hulk Hogan. The thing is, I can never think of the right time to do it. My greatest fear is that I die without ripping apart that damn shirt.
M MRRRR OOOO
MM MM R R O O
M MM MRRR O O
M M M R R O O
M M M R R OOOO
"ONE HELL OF AN AMERICAN!"
[Sorry Mr Onliner, that was a terrific post, I just get cranky when I'm tired. I fell asleep for a few minutes while reading Krazy's post. I woke up in front of Michael Bolton's house and was detained for several hours. So, I never did read the whole thing. But, I'm sure it's worthy of 20 tokens.]
Subj: THE MESSAGE
I have heretofore declared myself the deliverer of THE MESSAGE. This is vital to the saving of millions of souls from a doomed life of charity and piety. So all ye foolish mortals, heed the words of THE MESSAGE. For ye who follow THE MESSAGE shall find everlasting everlastingnes.
Thou shalt kill.
Thou shalt kill Micheal Bolton.
Thou shalt kill ye who listen to Micheal Bolton.
Thou shalt commit adultery.
Thou shalt commit adultry if he/she/it be young, rich, and cute.
Thou shalt commit adultery if ye art married to Kathie Lee Gifford.
Thou shalt steal.
Thou shalt steal thy neighbors lovely new Mercedes Benz.
Thou shalt not steal thy neighbor's dentures.
Thou shalt live on potato chips and beer.
Thou shalt not honor the false god of tofu.
Thou shalt not steal thy neighbor's cow unless it is of a particular color and you can get a good deal for him at the circus.
Thou shalt sleep with the boss and blackmail him.
Thou shalt not sleep with the boss of the same gender until the operation.
Thou shalt not see Elvis except in supermarkets and Mars.
Thou shalt mock the weak and the stupid unless ye shalt be mocking thyself.
the color of insanity
not suitable for small children or flying rodents.
[Next, MitchRK comes away with 15 big ones. Assuming each big one is equal to 1 token, I'd have to say that's not bad. I replied to Mitch's post, but had to TOS myself before it showed up. Word to the wise: when working on little sleep, do not attempt to answer a post whose replies are open to creative word combinations.]
Subj: Riddles that need punchlines
What do you call a pirate with a sore throat?
How do you tell a male turtle from a female one?
Why did the plastic surgeon carry a red doctor's bag?
How many pigeons can you fit in a station wagon?
What did the paratrooper say when he couldn't get his chute open?
Why did the rabbi drain the pool on Tuesday?
What do you call a pizza that's in the shape of California?
When is the best time to play checkers with your brother?
Where do you go when you find a three-dollar bill?
How many golfers does it take to make a baseball team?
Why did the diamond ring make the baby cry?
I think, therefore I don't know.
[The following post by Ghent011 boils down to a plea for 20 tokens. I am sympathetic towards your plight, but the best I can do is 10. So, 10 tokens it will be. But, hey, you kept my focus this week on grammar, and for that you also get a thank you.]
Subj: Mentally Disturbed Teachers
This is about Mentally Disturbed teachers, specifically my mentally disturbed and challenged teacher. He is a perfectionist who misses the thesis for the commas. He has scarred hundreds of children for life. He is an extremely tempermental work aholic. He never misses a class and he never misses a grammitical error. He critizes Dickens for lack of a pronoun anacedent in the first line of A Tale of Two Cities. I think that I should get 20 tokens
for just surviving a year with him. (I need 20 more so I can get an HO pencil because all of mine are 0.7 lead and not 0.5). Finally, if you think his outrageous methods worked look at the total lack of grammatical correctness in this paragraph. All these mistakes were done by accident because his monatone put us all to sleep. So, save the student, give him 20 tokens, and send back into the jungles of high school so he can graduate and get a
high paying job at Hecklers Online.
a grammatically incorrect rebel
[Finally this week, we have Nyello. Little did Nyello realize that he would receive such a response when he asked his fellow Randomites to find his errors. He exposed himself and showed us his true vulnerability. If that's not worth 30 tokens, he also submitted a screenplay that will no doubt be purchased by FOX. My sympathies, Nyello.]
Subj: Many a mistake
I have decided to test the Random Gamer's ability to find mistakes by placing several large, stand-out errors. I want to see if you can find them.
I was walking through the woods the other day on my way to the park when all of a sudden IERRORheard a loud sound. I knew not what it was so I went in the general diection of where it was coming from. When I got there I found a carcuss and several small, furry rodnts swarming around it. And I thought, gee, wouldn't it be sad if there was a plane
thatERRORcrashed and only the cheesepuffs survived. I went out into the Australian outback and barked the treeand treed the car when all of a suddem--again--I hear this ERRORbanging sound, inspiring me to set out accross the
three fingered morning to cut me.
How many errors did you find?
Author, actor, musician and LOVE Monkey.
* * * *
Subj: MY SCREENPLAY!!!
Just when you thought that I had wrangled everything you held sacred, I bring you Nyello's Screenplay!!!
Man #1: This sucks.
Man #2: What?
Man #1: That we only get names like Man #1 and 2, despite that fact that we have speaking parts.
Man #2: It could be worse, we could be like Sidney and have to play a woman.
Woman #1: What are you talking about, this is just how I dress.
Man #3: Then why does it say "Woman #1"?
Woman #1: Well if you're seeing the movie, you won't know that it says that.
Man #3: Sure you would, I just said it.
Man#1: Hey, 3, who invited you? Where did you come from?
Man #3: I was here the whole time.
Man #2: The hell you were!
Man #3: Sure I was, you just can't tell becasue this is just a script and there is nothing visual.
Man #4: Yeah!
Man #3: Get lost 4!
Man #6: Why should he?
Man #2: Wait a minute, 6, where's 5?
Man #5: I'm hiding in the shadows!
Man #4: But 6 spoke first, shouldn't he be number 5?
Man #6: I wasn't ALWAYS a man, that's why.
Man #7: So what, you are one now.
Man #4: Guys, this is stupid.
Man #8: Yeah, there's no plot.
Woman #2: I agree.
Man #9: I think I speak for all of us when I say this is going nowhere.
Man #10: I think that there's a porno flick playing next door!
Man #2: Let's go!
Author, actor, musician and LOVE Monkey.
[Finally, I'm sure you're curious why I am so tired. Okay, you're not, but I can pretend, can't I? I wish I had some exciting, adventurous tale to tell you. As it turns out, the clock on my wall was running backwards two days ago. Seems the batteries were running low...so low they ran the clock in reverse. And, consequently, I never thought it was time to go to bed. If only I had another clock in the house, I would have caught on sooner. I have since changed the batteries and all is running forward once again; but I'm still twelve hours behind.]