[I was dreamin' when I wrote this / Forgive me if it goes astray / But these are the only lyrics to this song I know, I'm sad to say. My life has gone on just fine without Prince in my life; but I'm attempting to learn a line of "1999" each month, so that when the millennium comes I can fit in with all the other people who will become violently ill at the sound of the song.]

[Nothing else in this winners file bears even the slightest resemblance to anything Prince-related. However, I think we should each take a brief pause to acknowledge the Random Board's accomplishment -- 20,000 posts. Get it? 19999 posts -- the song "1999." Huh? This girl is clever. She's a regular Dennis Miller with her pop-culture references. ::sigh::]

[First this week, 15 tokens to both Jlbkwrm and Kellie04 on their join effort. Actually, Jamie is just getting tokens, so she can fulfill her vision. Kellie's getting them, because I happened to have liked her reply. I guess there was really no joint effort at all.]

Subj: Re: Name That Color
Original From: Jlbkwrm
This Reply From: Kellie04

>>I'm proud of myself. I have earned tokens. I can even get stuff. None here, mind you, but elsewhere. In HyperFiction (For some reason HO Hyper likes my plot bits) and in the nightly games. Now my goal is to get at least 5 tokens from The Random Game. Maybe not soon, maybe not in this life, but I have a vision. One day. . .
Ah, the lesser known "I have a vision" speech.

[Let's try this joint entry effort thing again. 20 tokens to Mr Onliner, to BudMooreJr, and to MrMrsStry. Dawn has nothing to do with the "Calvcade" post of Mr Onliner's. And, Mr Onliner's post stands fine on its own. So, the way I see it, Bud conned 20 tokens out of me. I don't know how, and I'm too lazy to find out.]
Subj: Re: MagicClams' Cavalcade of Whimsy
Original From: Mr Onliner
This Reply From: BudMooreJr

>>Ya know, if it rained bricks, that...that wouldn't be so good. Unless you were trying to build a house...but that still wouldn't be too good...>>>

...Unless you owned an auto body shop. That wouldn't be so bad.

* * * *
Subj: Re: Is it time to panic yet?
From: MrMrsStry

I had panic attacks. Now I take Prozac. Seriously. I had agoraphobia for eight years. Do you know what that is? Look it up. Anyway, I am cured now. I don't panic anymore. Except at fires. Then I panic. Because I am a fraid of heights and most firefighters need to climb ladders. So when I get to the scene I cry and whine, and if that doesn't work I hide. Then I stop panicking.
Separated by six degrees from everyone else.

[One more try at a joint entry. 30 tokens to USAmen for his original subject and for his reply -- to a totally different topic. Oh, now that's not a joint entry either!]
Subj: Running Over A Spike
From: USAmen

What kind of Spike won't give you a flat tire if you run over it? The kind that was once my parents' miniature yorkshire terrier named Spike. Some of you may recall I complained a couple of weeks ago about having to babysit my parents' fat little guinea pig of a dog while they party it up in Las Vegas. Well, I had the smelly little thing for over a week until my sister came the other night to pick him up and
relieve me of my dog-sitting responsibilities. It took less than 24 hours for her husband (the Twit) to flatten him with his car tire. My sister called me up hysterically crying a minute after it happened. She could barely talk she was crying so much. She kept asking me "What am I gonna do?" I said, send the Twit out there to scoop him into a box and bury him." (I was thinking, "Why don't you push his guts back in and go for one of those
'Weekend at Bernie's' things?") No sooner do I hang up the phone, and my father calls me out of the blue from Las Vegas for no particular reason at all (Life doesn't get any better than this). "How's everything going?" he asks. After confirming that he had not spoken to my sister I said, "Spike's dead...the twit just ran him over...all I can say is that is he was healthy when he left my house." He sort of let out this nervous laugh as if to
say, "I should have known that would happen." The funny part is that I forgot to give my sister his special water bowl when she picked him up, so I mailed it the next morning. She should just be calming down around the time that package arrives in the mail. Wish I could be there to watch her open it.
Life Is Good
* * * *
Subj: Re: absolutely nothing
From: USAmen

>>>Subj: absolutely nothing
* * * * *
Oooh, oooh I get it! It's like the Jeopardy Game!
Okay, how about:
1) What is between you ears?
2) What did you get on your last 20 dates?
3) What happens when you walk into a room?
4) What happens when you tell a joke?
5) What is a newbie's life worth?

I'll Take Viscious
Insults For $1000

[Forget the joint entry idea! Let's try joint idea entries. Tocadisco had a very well-received commentary on the Random Game--for his thread he gets 20 tokens. (One example follows.) ShavedYak1 also had a commentary on the Random Game, albeit in a less melodious tone. Well, to each his own: 10 tokens to ShavedYak1.]
Subj: Re: The Random Game..
From: Tocadisco

a slice of heaven on a plate of hell

anything else just wouldn't
be civilized.
* * * *
From: ShavedYak1

I just read the history of the random game... yes it was a truly random history, and it showed me what a great nation this once was! Yeah, sure! What kind of "great nation" would award TOKENS and then not give ME any!? I just checked your token listing, AND I WASN'T EVEN THERE! WHAT?! AM I NOT FUNNY ENOUGH FOR YOU!??! ARE MY POSTINGS NOT CONSIDERED "RANDOM"? OR ARE YOU JUST TOO DENSE TO GIVE ME THE TOKENS I SO APTLY DESERVE??! AND
WHAT IS WITH THE BACKGROUND!?!? THUMB TACKS! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WANT TO SEE THUMB TACKS!?!?!?!? Arrrgh, you are such idiots it gives me a head ache! This is the random game, you fools! What's random about a thumb tack wallpaper!? Nothing! NOTHING AT ALL! It's wallpapered! It's not cute, it's disgusting! It's a disgusting, ugly, thumbtack wallpaper! And it's behind my malicious ramblings! It's breaking my concentration!! They're so
cute and fuzzy, I can't pay attention to what I'm doing!!! NO! Can't let them control me! YOU ARE EVIL!! YOU ARE EVIL!!! YOU EVIL DAMNED HECKLERS, YOU'RE ALL GOING TO HELL, YOU AND YOUR CUTE LITTLE THUMBTACKS! What was I talking about?? Oh yeah, tokens! What makes you think I even want your tokens!? Just because I take 10-15 minutes bitching that I don't have any, that doesn't mean I want them! You can just take your tokens, and shove em up your
ass! And when your done doing that, give em to me! Yeah! Oh, wait a second... dammit. Anyway, why wasn't I here when the great Mag 7 was around? Those guys were magnificent! And there were 7 of em! AND I BET THEY HAD TOKENS! DAMMIT, I WANT TOKENS! You fools! I'll remove your skin from your flesh, and sell it in the black market! Yes! There is a market for human flesh! YOUR human flesh! And you know what? I'M SELLING IT! HAH! And there's nothing
you can do about it, except lock your doors, shove some tokens up yer ass, and then give em to me! Well this is enough idiocy for me, I'll make another, even more random, more chaotic, MORE UTTERLY STUPID POST... tomorrow! Just wait, you bastards!

[I think I'm becoming preoccupied with "joints." Forget joints all together. Week after week, Conade subjects herself to "tags," simply because she chooses to share unoriginal material with us. Once used as a tool to weed out so-called cheats, the tag now serves only in showing off how much humor we've each previously read off the Internet. For having the courage to continue on, despite the threat of a tag, Conade receives 15 tokens. Hey, I haven't read it before; she admitted it; and, I hear she's close to being able to actually trade in tokens.]
Subj: The Importance of Correct Punctuation
From: Conade

I bet I'm gonna get tagged fer this.. but I say, who the hell cares? This one's new to me..

The Importance Of "Correct Punctuation"

Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind,
thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and
inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no
feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you
let me be yours?

Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind,
thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and
inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have
no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will
you let me be?

Conade - somebody buy me a life.
Life is like a shower - one wrong turn can leave you in hot water.

[Next--some 10-token winners. There seems to be some question as to whether Bugs Bunny found Albuquerque or not. The absence of certainty was never a reason to refuse tokens, so Krazyk242 will be awarded her tokens. But to present both sides of the issue (and for his Gleep) CortJstr can be considered a late edition to the 10-token winners. . .and certainly not another attempt of mine to find the elusive joint entry.]
Subj: Which way to Albuquerque?
From: Krazyk242

For those who have seen over 50,000 episodes of Bugs Bunny cartoons you are all familiar with the running gag of the inability to find Albuquerque. What is it about Albuquerque that is so mysterious and fascinating for Bugs Bunny? Why, through repeated failed attempts, does Bugs keep up his endeavors towards Albuquerque with the stamina of his distant cousin, the Energizer Bunny? Has New Mexico completely vanished off the face of the earth,
rendering all rabbits unable to find Albuquerque? Is Albuquerque part of some secret government cover up and is sending false radar signals, which direct Bugs off course every time? I wonder if the Trix Rabbit had any trouble finding Albuquerque.

"Hail to the HO"
Titian of Insanity
* * * *
Subj: Re: Which way to Albuquerque?
From: CortJstr

(KrazyK242 aka Closet-girl)
>> For those who have seen over 50,000 episodes of Bugs Bunny cartoons you are all familiar with the running gag of the inability to find Albuquerque. <<

you're slightly off there Krazy, he wasn't trying to find it, in fact, he always found it, it was on the way to everywhere. He always got lost because he forgot to turn left in Albuquerque, I guess he went right, or just straight, I dunno

:] <--- Gleep, the friendly midget smiley who will gladly be your friend
* * * *
Subj: Conditioner
From: Lavoris49

You know what irritates me? My conditioner takes forever to rinse out. I'm not even sure if I ever get it all out. I mean, I don't want to stay in the bath or shower for hours rinsing. I may still have conditioner residue from months ago clinging to my scalp. Now, some might say, "Use less condtioner," or "Try a different condtioner". But, to that my response would be, which most people often fail to
understand, "No, I'd really rather just bitch about it."

"Solutions are for losers."
L49 <---- sans mouthwash molecules
* * * *
Subj: Re: MagicClams' Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: MagicClams

If I ever tried to get into the Guiness Book of World Records, I think it would be in the "Heaviest Beard of Bees" category, because then, if I don't get it, I'll still have a good chance at the record for "Most Bee Stings Sustained by One Human Being"....

Watch out for Lady Irony....she's a bitch-goddess....

[Finally this week, we have two 20-token winners. Both the Diva and Mal's posts have some moral to teach us. Ah, I'm doing it again! Is there a Joint-Entries-Anonymous I could seek out? These posts win 20 tokens -- no explanations, it's that simple.]
Subj: Dating tips from the Diva...
From: Diva Pooh

Now, this post is mainly for the ladies, but you guys could get something out of it as well...

These are the 2 rules of dating I absolutely live by:

1) never date a guy who has bigger boobs than you do

2) never date a guy you can bench press

I am sure there are more. Those are the 2 that come to me right at the moment. If I think of more I will post them.

The Diva

* * * *
Subj: Re: Porno Story
From: MaLkNoX420

>>I challenge anyone to find a more boring porno story.

Oooh! Oooh!
Me and a few friends of mine (we were in a band together at the time) were at the video store getting a film to watch, and we were standing at the counter when I turned to Peter (the bassist) and said, "My gosh, how can they have that movie right out in the open like that?" He turned and said, "What movie?" I said, "That porno..." and pointed. He started cracking up, grabbed Rikki (our guitarist) and said, "She thinks it's a porno...", pointing
out the stack of videotapes that had caught my attention... He started laughing as well, once he got the joke, and the story got around our group until everyone knew about it... and my confusion... the tape in question was a "Head Cleaner". You can see where I got the idea it was a porno, eh? Eh?

Rev. High Holy Hempstress Mal3.2 KSC ULC Priest POEE (CoDfISH Cabal)
Random Goddess {{TiCkLEmE GoMeR}} Purple Head

[That's it; what more do you want? Huh?]