The Fall--you may speculate about the "who" or the "what" to which I refer, but really I'm just talking about Autumn. And not Autumn Jackson either.

The Age has no tie into the winners this week. No underlying theme. So, let's just get to it. 15 tokens to TyleredOne and CortJstr.
Subject: Re: Carc's Colorful Cache of Comedy
From: TyleredOne
This afternoon ,giddy with anticipation,I opened a can of corned beef hash.I then realized that hash and Alpo smell,and look,exactly the same.
Of course,that didn't stop me from eating it.Next time,I'll save about 60 cents a can,though.
* * * *
Subject: Re: PTO
From: TyleredOne
"What is PTO"(Jakal)

Well,I've been a card-carrying member of the PTO for 4 years....It stands for Parent Teacher Organization (or something close to that)
The duties somehow involve baking cupcakes,and applying reflective stickers to the backs of children on Halloween.Around Christmas,it involves selecting the least favorite canned goods from your shelves,and sending them in to school.(We always manage to send kidney beans.)
And I don't think I have to mention saving Campbell's soup labels...that's a given.
Glad to help out.
* * * *
Subject: Re: Mr Onliner's Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: CortJstr
>> A lot of you probably think I've flipped out for cutting down my RG time. But, I promise you I'm not gonna be one of those born-again weirdos preaching on the boards. (Mr O) <<

yeah, you pretty much covered that whole "Wig and and preach a lot" thing the last time you left, you wouldn't want to over do it
* * * *
Subject: Re: Kosmo's Milking Bucket Returns
From: CortJstr
>> Nothing in the post was true. <<

wait, if nothing was true, then when you said it didn't happen, that would also be untrue, so it did happen, but you said nothing was true so it didn't happen, but then the part about it being made up would be true, and it can't be, so that's false, and it did happen and . . .

my brain hurts

Here are a couple more 15-token winners. 15 tokens to BrianJ718. And, 15 tokens to BabyLamms...along with my sincerest apologies for being mistaken for a headless dummy.

Subject: Stop staring at me!
From: BabyLamms
The other day at work I was mistaken for a mannequin two, count them, TWO times. This girl who came up to my waist was standing there, staring at my shoes. I didn't want to scare her or anything so I just stood there. I assumed she thought I was fake. Then later on some lady was looking at a rack of dresses. I was standing somewhat close by, and the lady glanced in my direction and reached to touch my sleeve. I stepped back and said hello and she freaked out. Do I have to stay mobile every second so people won't fondle my apparel? The sad thing is, our mannequins don't have heads. :(
* * * *
Subject: Brain freeze
From: BrianJ718
Here's a rather unfunny post...
What do you do when you can't come up with the answers on those history exams? You make them up of course. Feel free to add to this list if you're so inspired and/or bored.
Just Brian

Sample history questions:
What's the main difference between the two major cities of British Colombia, Victora and Vancouver?
What caused Bacon's rebellion?
What does the name "Tenochtitlan" mean?

1) Vancouver had a hockey team.
2) It all started when England imposed new tariffs on the colonies and the colonial farmers rose up to protect the sausage tax.
3) City of large breasted women.

Next, 25 tokens to two members of the C-Clan. Is that thing still around? Well, at any rate, CurlyAnnT and Carcazoid both get 25 tokens.
Subject: Re: Since they deleted my post....
From: CurlyAnnT
>>Sorry, Despisa, it's your own fault. We do everything we can to keep TOS out of here, including devouring our own young. Watch the language.>>

>>I have not said anything wrong. I was joking<<

Shutup. You said a bad word. We don't allow that here you bitch.
* * * *
Subject: Re: Jokes....offensive? nah..
From: CurlyAnnT
>>What do you get when you have 20 women in a bar in Alabama?>>

A very happy Mr Onliner?
* * * *
Subject: Re: Loincloths, Kilts, and Women, what a life
From: Carcazoid
>>She ripped out my gullblader last time I said it.>>

gullblader (n. orig: colloquial surfspeak) 1. A surfer, launching himself into the air using velocity attained when riding a wave. 2. One who disembowels seagulls using a sharp object.
* * * *
Subject: Re: Carc's Colorful Cache of Comedy
From: Carcazoid
"...then take a 'CHANCE' card from the stack on the board, and stick it up your nose."

-Excerpt from instruction sheet in "Monopoly: The Sarcastic Edition"
* * * *
Subject: Re: Carc's Colorful Cache of Comedy
From: Carcazoid
Just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water, damn! Someone drained the ocean!

To ShavedYak1, who says I never give tokens to him, I give 10 tokens. To SGood42, to whom I almost always give tokens, I give 10 as well. And to, ah, to the rest of this bunch I give 10 tokens, too.
Subject: Re: Crackpot is Back!
From: ShavedYak1
If I grow up to be an antisocial, hated freak, I'll send you all formal letters of thanks.
* * * *
Subject: Re: NEWstyle Freestle Random Jamdom
From: SGood42
I bought one of those Virtual Pets the other day. I fed he thing....changed it...walked it all the time...well then my real dog died.
* * * *
Subject: Re: Sometimes you feel old school.
From: Repeatr621
When I was a kid, we had only one Random Game. And we had to walk thirteen miles in the snow, uphill to get to a computer, so we could wait two weeks to get through to AOL, and post just once and then get signed off. And you know what? WE LIKED IT DAMNIT!
* * * *
Subject: rah rah rah
From: LndonSleep
Today in school i was sitting in biology and then i notice that the cheerleader across the aisle has this huge tarantula-like spider crawling up her leg. being naturally inquisitive, i watched the aforesaid spider travel up her skin-toned pantyhose and up her skirt. as i sat in anticipation of her eminent reaction, i realized that she was picking her nose. so here is this bleached-blond cheerleader with her thumb sneaking up her nose
(pretending she was scratching her lip) and a spider in her underwear and suddenly she darted her hand up her skirt and started shuffling around. she made a tremendous racket her notebook flew to the ground yet everyone was so engrossed with Mr. Kennings speech about disecting fetal pigs that they didn't notice. i think it bit her. i bet it bit her. tomorrow i get to disect a fetal pig. i want the spleen. i want the spleen.
* * * *
Subject: When I was back in School.....
From: SunDewlady
I remember learning math in the first grade. Mrs. Magellan asked me "What would you get if you had 3 cupcakes and gave away 2". I kept answering 3. There was no way that I was going to give away ANY cupcakes. Now, if she used answer would have been 0, cus I would have found another sucker for the last one. Ya know, when your a kid, specific items are important.

20 tokens to Tansa, USAmen, and MitchRK. Apparently I liked Tansa's first post enough to subject you all to reading it again. Or maybe I just appreciate her considerate manners. Personally her reasoning has never stopped me from posting anything. (To which you can all attest, I'm sure.)
Subject: Don't ask me...
From: Tansa
So far I have typed three posts...and erased them because they weren't good enough. I didn't want to subject you all to reading them...and I was just about to erase this one too...
* * * *
Subject: Re: THE LATER IT GETS...
From: Tansa
>>ever notice, that the later i stay up, the worse my grammer, and spelling get?>>

How late was it when you did this?
* * * *
Subject: Re: I wonder...
From: MitchRK
>>What is it like to stick an erection into a fan?>>

Just ask Charlie Sheen.

Also, sometimes they're called groupies.
* * * *
Subject: The more you know
From: MitchRK
King Tut ruled at 10.

Mozart composed at 7.

Big deal. I drove a car at 8:30.
* * * *
Subject: Re: The radio and your personal marrage life
From: USAmen
>>I mean who would think a 12 year-old would be calling
in about marrage. The lady told him he wouldn't have to worry about it then and he hung up. (puprider11)>>
* * * * *
Sure, the poor kid was probably distraught over his parents marriage difficulties and was blaming himself and seized this last opportunity to ask a grown-up about his parents' marital difficulties and this insensitive and woefully unqualified two-bit "marriage expert" on the radio didn't even recognize this call for help by a confused little boy who is probably attempting to hang himself as we speak from the shower curtain rod. Either that, or he just wanted to know if he would get to stick his pee-pee in his wife every night when he gets married.
* * * *
Subject: Re: USAmen's Hard Drive
From: USAmen
The whole concept of cyber-sex is foreign to me. I mean, the women who I have cybersex with are from England.

Okay, saving the longest--um, best--for last, 30 tokens to Dante303.
Subject: Chain letters.
From: Dante303
Well, I finally hit the wall. :::BAM!::: I can't stand getting another lousy chain letter. I have found a way to deal.

I made my own.

Feel free to keep it in a file and send it to whomever deserves it. Enjoy.
Subject: The Random Chain!
Dear occupant of this screen name:

By sending a completely pointless and unfounded chain letter to members of the Random Game, you have condemned yourself to an eternity of bad luck. No chain letter can help you. No karma points can rescue you. Your crush will NOT ask you out, your health will NOT be good, and you will NEVER have good fortune. Sending this letter to other people will not help. It stops with you. At least you can ignore chain letters now...
* * * *
Subject: The Random Zone
From: Dante303
:::Rod Serlingesque:::
Imagine, if you will, a world, where hours, and tokens, just don't mix. Where Chicago is a guy, and Myrrh, is not a spice, but a HO. Where money, has, no meaning, except for, $19.95 a month. Where nobody knows your name...dededede de de...sorry. Where were we? Oh, yes. A world, of, meaningless, pauses, in, between, words....

You are entering...



Today's Episode: The Carly Strikes Back!

:::opening scene inside Club Random. Nyello is feverishly working on another story when CurlyAnnT saunters in and looks over his shoulder:::

Curly: Not again!
Nyello: What?
Curly: You killed me five minutes into the story AGAIN!
Nyello: Hey, it's what the fans want...
Curly: Grrrrr...
::Curly storms out::
Curly: It's just not fair! I'm so talented! And I look great in a swimsuit!
Carc: That's fer sure, toots.
Curly: What are you doing here?
Carc: Nothing. Nothing at all.
::Carc vanishes into thin air::
Curly: Wait, Carc! Don't go! How did you do that?
::Carc reappears halfway::
Carc: It's a car salesman thing.
::Carc disappears again.::
Curly: That was interesting.
::Curly walks into her room and flops on the bed::
Curly: It's just not fair...I wish I could be Nyello! Then I could kill off everybody, including him! Yeah!
::Baldie walks in, looking for Carly::
Baldie: Oh, sorry, Nyello, I thought Curly was in here. I needed a spankin'.
Curly: Nyello?! I'm not Nyello! I'm Curly! I'll spank you!
Baldie: Eww! Even I'm not open to that much experimentation!
::Baldie runs off singing, "Nyello's a fruit, Nyello's a fruit..."::
Kosmo: Really? I would have had him pegged as a meat by-product.

::Curly sits on her bed, dazed and confused::
Curly: Damn, I'm dazed and confused. I think I'll go find Nyello.
::she comes upon Nyello, making out with USAmen.::
Curly: AAACK! Nyello! What are you doing!
Nyello: Nyello? You're Nyello. I'm Curly!
Curly: But you look just like Nyello!
Nyello: No, YOU look just like Nyello, because YOU are Nyello. Have you been spending too much time with the Gomers?
USAmen: Hey, Carly baby, less talk, more mouth!
BabyLamms: Just popped in to say hi. Hi Nyello!
Curly: Not my best friend! Oh, the humanity! I think I'll find Carc. He seems to know what he's doing. He's a car salesman.
::Curly walks over to Carc's car lot::
Carc: Hey, Nyello! Wanna buy a car?
Curly: Not you too!
Carc: For some strange reason, I want to see you in a swimsuit...
Curly: That's because I'm Curly!
Carc: No, you're Nyello. Go write your stories.
Curly: Yeah! That's right! If I'm Nyello, I can kill everybody!
::Carc backs away slowly::

::Back at Club Random...::
Curly (scribbling furiously on a piece of paper): Hahahaha! Die, Nyello, die! Your head falls off and off and off and off and off...
HO Myrrh: Hey, Carly, watcha doin'?
Curly: You called me Carly! Woohoo!
Myrrh: So? It still doesn't get you tokens.
Curly: Everybody else is crazy, Myrrh! They all think I'm Nyello! Only you and I are normal!
Myrrh (laughing crazily and peeling off face) Oh, I'm not normal...
:::HO Chicago is revealed:::
Curly: AAAAAAAAGGH! Did you do this to me? Am I Nyello or Curly? Am I normal, or crazy? I have to know!
Chicago (creepy voice): Oh, I don't know. We all don't know. Ask the Master...
All Randomers: The Master...the Master...the Master...
::Curly is slowly hemmed in by the zombie-like Randomers and Chicago, all the while screaming her head off::

::Dante303 is revealed high above, manipulating marionettes on a stage::
Dante: Dance, my little puppets, dance...

:::Rod Serlingesque:::
There you have it. A strange, tale, of what, can, happen, when you wish for, something, instead of, beating the juice out of the person who offends you and getting on with life....or Baldie.




Great, now I have that song in my head. Although, it's not really a song; it's more of a, um, what's the word I'm thinking of? Oh yes--an annoyance. Not as bad as the DoBeDoBeDo penguins or that Third Eye Blind "Semi-Charmed Kind of Life" song. Amazing what a few "Do"s can do to a person. ::a moment to ponder::

All right, that's it now. Really.