Alright, the length of the winners file can be blamed on me this time -- there are two weeks of winners here. Be prepared to read posts you don't even remember making. Or, if you escaped reading them the first time through, be prepared -- they're coming back, not unlike LndonSleep's dinner.

Yes, Lndon, you did win tokens...but you only get them on the condition you see a doctor. Or, at the very least, stop puking on the board...although I'm sure it's a natural reaction for many. Some 10-token winners:
Subject: Re: Tractor
From: LndonSleep
>>What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor???>>

there's lots of farmer kids in my school. one of them is named Henry and he has this t-shirt he wears it's a fertilezer t-shirt. so i asked him where he got it he said he bought it.
ok.
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Subject: Re: By popular demand.....
From: Despina41
You can use composers' names to ''cuss'' people out with.
You don't need real German or Russian swear words. For example:

Du Prokofiev!!
Du Shostakovich!
or you can use.... RACHMANINOV!!
and GOTTSCHALK sounds particularly unpleasant...

Just a note to myself..
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Subject: Re: Who murdered Mr. E?
From: Kwakerjak
>>Disclaimer: I didn't really write a mystery novel in real life (where I spend some of my time). The post was merely an in-theory hypothetical what-if suppose-this-happened sort of scenario. The novel, titled The Sea Swallowed Blood, is not real, although many of the characters are based on major historical figures, but that doesn't matter because the novel, which costs $24.95 at B. Dalton
Booksellers, does not exist, and therefore cannot be purchased anywhere. The art on the cover by illustrator Vance P. Detwiller is also not real, for one thing because there is not to my knowledge any such existing illustrator named Vance P. Detwiller, and even if there were he wouldn't have worked on this book because, as I stated before, it does not actually exist. I hope I have cleared up any confusion that might have been caused by this post. Also, do not be confused into thinking that the reason it does not exist is because it merely has yet to be printed and distributed, because the entire post is fictional, though not in itself a murder mystery. If it were a murder mystery, it would either be a very bad one or a very very unusual take on the genre. Incidentally, I also don't have a Western novel out called The Sheriff's Last Chance which won't be made into a major motion picture starring Sam Neill and Drew Barrymore, due out next spring.>>

Ok, now be a doll and run that by me again in technical Japanese this time.
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Subject: Re: Snipesville
From: TyleredOne
>>The million woman march is going on in Philadelphia right now. The Dallas Cowboys are playing in Philadelphia today. Anybody else smell some major lawsuits? I think US may have to come out of retirement to handle a few of these.>>

What? The women....or the lawsuits?

Ozma22 is probably best known for her "It's 12:57" post. I'm sure you all thought she'd win tokens for that; but since you probably all have it memorized by now, she's getting 15 tokens for a different post. Oh, and there are other winners of 15 tokens, too.
Subject: Re: Mr Onliner's Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: Ozma22
I wish all my favorite places in real life could be marked with a little red heart. Then all I'd have to do is double-click and I'd be in Hawaii. I bet I could make a lot of money with this one.
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Subject: Re: Astronia's Astro stuff
From: Kira1119
>>swear to you,a few weeks back,in the News Herald memorial section,some wacky folks had a picture of their deceased dog printed.The dog's birth and death dates were published,along with her first,middle and last name.<< (TyleredOne)

My cats have first, middle, and last names, but then my roommate says I'm not sane on the subject of cats. I don't write poems about them , although I do give them theme songs.
* * * *
Subject: Re: The Random fight Card!
From: Odaeyss
And to combat this, in a blatently plagerized idea, I'll hold a fight at the same time, but on a different station, and at a different place.

The main event:

This little fluffy white hamster I saw at a pet store
vs.
This really strange looking homeless guy I saw last week

Winner gets a home complete with exercise wheel, water bottle, and food tray, and a year's supply of wood chip bedding.

Also:

Jiminy Cricket
vs.
Michigan Frog

Winner gets to beat the loser senseless s'more.

AND:

A Fluffy cute Bunny Rabbit
vs.
A 4x4 Truck with snowtires

Winner gets a swift kick in the pants.

And, after all that, a rumble:
NOW
vs.
WNBA

Winner gets... um.... well, I'll be gone by then. The sight of a bunch of hairy-backed women fighting it out tends to frighten me.

Dawn wins 20 tokens this week -- unfortunately for her, however, they are divided equally among two screen names.
Subject: Re: If Aol were a nation
From: MrMrsStry
>>Oh yeah, it's that way at most high schools. Everyone knows the hottest babes love Shakespeare and are on the Lit mag staff.>>
I was in band, choir and I was in the Media Club. I loved Chaucer and Shakespeare. I was also in FWTWOA (Future White Trash Women Of America)
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Subject: Re: black, white, and red all over
From: Me4Me4Me
>>Nah I got my dog. She protects the Pumpkins.>>
MY GRAMMA PROTECTS OUR PUMPKINS. SHE SITS IN HER LAWN CHAIR EVERY HALLOWEEN NIGHT, SURROUNDED BY PUMKINS. KIDS THINK SHE'S A DUMMY. WELL, SHE AIN'T NO DUMMY. JUST AS SOON AS A KID COMES UP TO HER SHE JUMPS UP AND SCARES THE BEJESUS OUT OF THEM. IF SHE MAKES A DOZEN KIDS PEE THEIR PANTS, WE EACH OWE HER TEN BUCKS. SHE MADE SO MUCH LAST YEAR, SHE LOST HER MEDICAID.

Attention Caie Mac: You've won tokens. Let me repeat that: you've won 15 tokens. I don't know for what reason. Maybe because you found an amusing way of complaining about, but not asking for, them? Maybe because you have shed light on the source of my envy -- what a breakthrough! Or, maybe just to outdo whoever gave you 10 tokens in the past.. (Me, right? That'll teach me.) At any rate, 15 tokens to the following.
Subject: Awww come on now!
From: Caie Mac
Ok, I've held it in long enough. What have I ever done to you Myrrh? I try and I try and I try to please you, with no avail. Every Wednesday I go to the account status and think maybe, just maybe this could be the day when I got some tokens. I don't want many. One or two would even suffice. Not like I'd ever get enough to get anything anyways. I did have 10 once. But they were wrenched away from me the minute I got them. Damn that July 31st! Maybe you just don't like me. Maybe you're jealous of my firm buttock or my glossy hair. Who knows. I just want you to know that no matter how perfect I am, or how much you want to be like me, it's ok. I don't, and could never, hold that against you. I mean, you're only human. Thanks for your time.
* * * *
Subject: Re: If Aol were a nation
From: I Porpoise
>>If a preposition falls naturally at the end of a sentence, leave it there.>>

...was recently changed to read, "If a preposition falls naturally at the end of a sentence and can't get up, leave it right where it fell and call 911."
* * * *
Subject: Re: And the Anti-christ of the....
From: The Kat 4u
>>And The Anti-christ of the Week is:

Jim Leyland>>

damm!! s**t, fork, come mother, sunnabeeach, mother freaggin, fruity pants, hair lip, bad hair life having, fraggin buck boy... i just hate it when i don't win.

The 25-token winners this week are rewarded based on their consistent quality of entries in the past two weeks, not just for the posts listed here. I'm not sure exactly at what level that quality is, but when has quality ever been a sticking point around here before?
Subject: Inspired by Paul and Art
From: MitchRK
silence.wav

Did it work?
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Subject: Who murdered Mr. E?
From: MitchRK
I just sent off the manuscript for my first murder mystery. I'm so excited. The murderer is the yacht captain Randolph. It took me a while to find a publisher, since this was a totally new thing for me. It should be out soon.

Hold on. What did I write up there?

AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* * * *
Subject: Re: Mr Onliner's Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: MitchRK
>>this is the final straw.>>

Relax, Mr O. They refill the dispenser when it gets empty.
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Subject: Re: Mr Onliner's Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: Mr Onliner
Everytime I go to the bank, the stupid cashier always gives me a dirty look. Or at least I think she does, it's hard to tell with her all tied up like that.
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Subject: Re: Mr Onliner's Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: Mr Onliner
I think the best way to convince guards to let you out of an insane asylum is to scream "I'M NOT CRAZY!", like, a lot. And it helps to wiggle around and struggle with your straightjacket.
* * * *
Subject: Re: Mr Onliner's Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: Mr Onliner
In case you haven't noticed, I'm not in school. I have a "sore throat". So I had my "dad" come and "pick me up" and take me "home to rest" so I wouldn't give "anyone else" the "virus".

No, seriously, I did. I just like "quotation marks".
* * * *
Subject: Re: Narfman's Brewery
From: SGood42
>>If they would lower the drinking age to 18 they wouldn't be having so many accidents. The only reason are so many accidents now is because the people under 18 are trying to run from the cops cause they are under age.

NARFMAN
don't drink and drive......you might spill your beer. ;-)<<(jemhex)

Well not ALL accidents have liquor invloved. You should see me driving totally sober. My only prayer is that either the Rubbermade company or the fine people at JELLO decided to design and produce a car.
* * * *
Subject: Re: Newstyle, Freestyle, Random Jamdom!!!
From: SGood42
What if ghosts really are just old sheets that just got a little bored?
* * * *
Subject: Re: Newstyle, Freestyle, Random Jamdom!!!
From: SGood42
Actually I really do want to change my first name to "America" so then I can feel like the show Good Morning America was personally made for me.

Khaleth and Bloodguilt both win tokens this week. And, just to show I don't like one more than the other, Khaleth gets 15 tokens and Bloodguilt gets 10.
Subject: Re: Bloodguilt posts again
From: Bloodguilt
>>I'll just steal Bloodguilt's thread.>>

::chin trembles:: But then... how will I sew up the holes in my socks.
* * * *
Subject: Re: Bloodguilt posts again
From: Khaleth
He caught her up in his arms, the fires of passion burning hot within his breast.

"Oh, Valentine," he breathed.

"Yes, my love?" Valentine replied, eyelashes fluttering like the beating of her heart.

"I think I left the iron on."

The big prize of Big One goes to PTSNIPES for, basically, his entire Snipesville thread. 30 tokens.
Subject: Re: Snipesville
From: PTSNIPES
Q: Do you know what do you get when you cross a pig with a giraffe?

A: Something that looks like this:
g
p i g
r
a
f
f
e
* * * *
Subject: Re: Snipesville
From: PTSNIPES
A friend of mine bought all the parts for a computer seperately, and asked me to come over and help him out. He couldn't figure out where to put the brand new Pentium chip he bought. I looked around and figured out that he didn't buy a motherboard. It wouldn't be that bad really, except for the fact that he's a computer repairman.
* * * *
Subject: Re: Snipesville
From: PTSNIPES
The NFL really is going straight down the toilet. What exciting game do I get to watch today? That's right. Tennessee Oilers at Arizona Cardinals. I think I'm going to tape this one in case I ever have problems going to sleep.
* * * *
Subject: Re: By popular demand.....
From: PTSNIPES
>>Everyone is working on his (and to be politically correct) / her
big thread right now, and not reading anyone else's.

I find humor in that.>>

I'm reading your thread right now. I fail to see the humor in that.

The remaining winners this week are left-overs. I wasn't sure how many tokens to give BrianJ718 and USAmen...so...um take 20.
Subject: Re: Rants and ravs about today
From: BrianJ718
>>Today was supposed to be a good day. Today I was supposed to be the day when I got to be at least kinda special. Today is my birthday, and NOBODY remembered. I'm not talking about you guys since you didn't know. I'm talking about my friends and my sibs and even my parents forgot. Life sucks sometimes.>>

Yeah? Well, I was working on my French homework and I got this real nasty paper cut. Geez, it hurt a lot. Really, I was in pain... Oh, I guess that kind of pain doesn't compare to
I-wish-someone-cared-about-me kind of pain. Nevermind.
* * * *
Subject: Re: Brian's attempt at a thread
From: BrianJ718
With every Homecoming ticket comes a plastic souvenir cup and a keychain. Wonder if the principal realizes he's promoting 'drinking and driving' now.
* * * *
Subject: Re: Brian's attempt at a thread
From: BrianJ718
Do you have an urge to go cartwheeling down the aisles of Bradlees?

Yeah, me neither.
Caldors yes, Bradlees no.
* * * *
Subject: Re: Seeing that this worked so well....
From: USAmen
While your all going back in time, will someone pick me up 10,000 shares each of Intel and Microsoft? Here's $1000.00. Keep the change, just hand over the stock.
* * * *
Subject: Re: USAmen's Hard Drive
From: USAmen
Clinton's doctor said last week that "After thoroughly examining his penis, there are no unusual or distinguishing anatomical characterisics." That is very interesting, but I still wonder if Clinton's penis has any.
* * * *
Subject: Re: USAmen's Hard Drive
From: USAmen
If nothing else, The Random Game has taught me speed reading. Half the time, I am already finished reading a post the instant I see who wrote it.

It's done! Yay, that means I'm caught up on entries! (Wow, now I know what it's like for the semi-regular players.)