Act Your Age Age

I know, someone posted that "Age" suggestion, but I forgot who it was so he's not getting tokens for it. So there. Then I remembered, but he's still not getting tokens for it. Oh well.

There is a 30-token winner this week and I Porpoise is it, so let's get that out of the way first.
Subject: Re: I learn stuff at college
From: I Porpoise
> No, our school paper is full of advertisments asking for sperm and egg donors. Ya know, I >could get up to $2,000 for donating healthy eggs. A guy gets only about $700 for jerking off >into a little cup a few times a week for a month. And girls can have sex in between.<

Wow Ozma, Berkely sounds like a cool place. I went to one of those egg doner places once but they had caviar snacks in the waiting room and I got scared and left.
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Subject: Re: History will be made today.
From: I Porpoise
Re:
>V<

"Funniest thing I read since A."
Washington Post
"This is a real keeper."
Redbook
"It this was any funnier I would have peed my pants"
Readers Digest
"Keep up the good work Hacksim."
New York Times
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Subject: Re: Just a question
From: I Porpoise
> If to post here you have to be funny and you have to original, >how can there also be no rules?

Matt, you misread the instructions, the word was "mules". We never have mules because the work horses here never screw with the jackasses.

I think Repeatr621 and PTSNIPES had a contest to see who could add the most length to their thread in one day. Now, I'm not going to say whose is longer, but Repeatr gets 25 tokens...
Subject: Re: Sometimes you feel old school.
From: Repeatr621
The meaning of life is contained in this box.
:::opening box:::
The meaning of life is conatined in this box.
:::opening box:::
The meaning of life is contained in this box.
{This continues for about four hours.}
Ah, finally, the meaning of life.

IT'S TOO DAMN SMALL! I CAN'T EVEN READ IT!
Damn.
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Subject: Re: Sometimes you feel old school.
From: Repeatr621
You know sometimes I wonder how people can say this nation is lazy and stupid. But after watching infomercials, I can affirm that both are actually true.
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Subject: Re: Sometimes you feel old school.
From: Repeatr621
I felt it completely necessary to remark about the current state of the world. It sucks. Update in three minutes.

...And Snipes gets 20, as does Kira.
Subject: Re: Snipesville
From: PTSNIPES
Horriblescope of the Day:
Pisces: You will have a terrible accident in which you or a loved one will lose an important body part. You will lose all assets, and even your dog will be repossessed. Your daughter will announce she is with baby and has herpes, both given to her by a close friend of the family who is a well known pimp/crack dealer/wise asses player. Be on the watch, today is the day you could meet Mr. Right.
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Subject: Re: Snipesville
From: PTSNIPES
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme

I'll take crap I don't want on my plate for $1000 Alex.
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Subject: Kira's Litter Box
From: Kira1119
Hark! The heavenly choirs do proclaim
No punctation in Mr Onliner's name
Should a period dare to occupy that spot
The guilty will be met with cries of "No dot!"
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Subject: Re: Azarith's Puking Bucket
From: Kira1119
138 posts, nothing worthwhile.

That's part of my life I'll never have back again.
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Subject: Re: pickbugars
From: Kira1119
>>actually snipes....i would like fries with my bugars.
The RaNdOm GaMe>>

Sure, just come on over here and we'll stick your nose in this vat of boiling oil...

Among the 10-token winners this week is CryingMask, whose post was too good to be made by a newbie, so I'm assuming it's probably a TAG-able post that someone missed.
Subject: Re: Carc's Colorful Cache of Comedy
From: TyleredOne
Last night my best friend and I sat and played Scrabble as our daughters played in another room......my kid comes out and hands me a handmade envelope made of construction paper........my friend and I look at each other like "Awwwwwwww,how sweet....they're down there making us little notes to tell us how much they love us!"
I open it up,and inside there's a little note.......it said "Can we have something to eat?"
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Subject: Re: Newstyle, Freestyle, Random Jamdom!!!
From: SGood42
Did you know? There are over 275 different definitions in the english language for the worg "exaggerate". Ok so I may be stretching the truth a bit.
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Subject: Pork 'n Defective People
From: CryingMask
Rumpy: Good evening, Licky.
Licky: It's 10 in the morning, you dumb sh*t.
Rumpy: I'm going to smack you.

This existentialist one-act play took me 6 greuling days to comtemplate. It's probably the most involved work I've ever done and I'm very proud of it. I know you'll love it, because if you don't, well, you don't have to know.

Here's another creation of mine:

(-)

Whew! These masterpieces are a new minimalist movement of my own that started one day when I got lazy. Less is more, people. Watch me dish out a plethora of endless profundity while I end with my proudest work:

One day I...
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Subject: Re: MARLINS - WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS
From: Carcazoid
>>Actually, if you count out the stuff I answered jokingly in the IQ test in first grade, then add what I learned in higher grades, that adds up to around a 175-180 range.
Hacksim>>
>>Sorry to bust your balloon Hack but IQ does not really increase with age. The amount of stuff you know is not equal to how inherently intelligent you are.
Just Brian<<

Besides that, IQ is not the total score of every test you've ever taken...
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Subject: Re: Carc's Colorful Cache of Comedy
From: Carcazoid
Why is it that a great many people in The Random Game are semi-fluent in French, German, or Spanish, but the vast majority of Randomers can just barely convey a thought in English? Add one more to the list of things that I think about...

Now I know that RUGGEDCEC doesn't read the token winners, so can someone inform him that he's won 15? I'd tell him, but...well, I already am, aren't I? The Kat 4u gets 15, too.
Subject: Re: kat's eye
From: RUGGEDCEC
>>never date a black belt in judo, with no sense of humor.<< Unless you're a red belt....
With a sense of humor...

>>try to be discrete when copping a feel.<< Try being discrete...
Feeling a cop...
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Subject: Re: What would the slogan be for your toilet paper company be if you had one?
From: RUGGEDCEC
>>Hacksim's Toilet Paper. You've got to love it, because I have no legs.
Hacksim
TNGoR<<

What a drag...
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Subject: Re: ???????????????
From: The Kat 4u
>>How the hell did I end up HERE?!?>>

it's called "your mom started using birth control way too late"
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Subject: Re: Just a question
From: The Kat 4u
>>Think of them less as rules, and more of as ways to keep from having us open up the door to the cage of demonic hamsters and throw you in.>>

my sister had a hamster that ate other hamsters. she gave it to a girl at school who she didn't like. did i tell you i love my sister to death. i'm so proud of her.

Kosmo once again wins no tokens, but hey, a reply to his thread does... That's worth, well, nothing. 20 tokens to Bob, though.
Subject: Re: CowKosmo's Milking Bucket Returns
From: Odaeyss
>>Annoying wallpapers are easily made in Paint, by only using the colors burn-your-pupil pink and radioactive-and-glowing orange. Throw in black to really put a big hurt on your eyes. You make them in a small square, and then tile it.. guarenteed to make sure you've ALWAYS got a program open. Even Prodigy's ugly coloring will look good after THAT.>>

>>YOU just don't HAvE a thING to do with YOurSelf DO U????? At Least PLAY WITH yourself and give your COMPUter some down TIME...............<<

Could it... is it... ???!???!! A newbie with intellegence???

Oh, crap.. I'm sorry, I got my TV and computer mixed up there for a minute. I'm watching a show about hyenas. I thought those little critters were looking a bit dumber than usual.
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Subject: Re: Carc's Colorful Cache of Comedy
From: Odaeyss
>>In an interview with Tim Russert on Meet the Press, President Clinton remarked that he hadn't eaten at McDonald's during his entire presidency. That's not counting the times he had Harold Ickes go to the drive thru.>>

He smoked pot, but didn't inhale.
He was in McDonald's (drinking that oh-so-good coffee), but didn't eat anything.

Wow, you'd think he'd at least find a new lieing format.

Last this week, I'm going to overreact to Mitch's first post by awarding it tokens. 15 tokens to both MitchRK and USAmen -- thank God for Dingo posts, huh?
Subject: A wrong day
From: MitchRK
I was walking along in Chinatown today, and whenever I would talk to one of the locals, they would say something that took me a bit by surprise. Every time I asked someone what was going on today, they would say the same thing I had been hearing all day long. I was beginning to wonder if I was misunderstanding what they might have meant. After a while, on my way home, someone else said it to me, and it was then that I realized, they
were telling me it was election day.

I can hardly wait for someone to overreact to that joke.
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Subject: Re: DINGOS!
From: MitchRK
>>It's 11:05. Do you know where my brain is?>>

I'm sorry, sir, it's still not ready to be installed. How are you doing so far?
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Subject: Re: DINGOS!
From: USAmen
>>Dingos come from a pouch
when they jump out they say "ouch"
cause they didn't land on a couch (Jerrytar)
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Subj: The Random Game
Date: 97-11-09 01:54:08 EST
From: USAmen
To: Jerry Tar

Thank you for playing the Random Game! As you are aware, the Random Game is a premium service provided by AOL for which there is a minimal per hour charge. Accordingly, your AOL account will be charged $8.53 for your Random Game entry on 11/9/97. Once again, thank you for playing the Random Game and good luck on your entry!
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Subject: Re: USAmen's Hard Drive
From: USAmen
Today I read the entire text of that Massachusetts Judge's opinion reversing the 2nd degree murder conviction of the British au pair in the death of that little boy. After careful legal analysis, I have come to the learned conclusion that he is obviously screwing her.

Okay, that's all. I'd wish a happy belated Veterans' Day to all the Random Game Veterans out there, but, well, no one gets out this game alive.