The Leftovers

It's "The Leftovers" for two reasons. First, I'm hoping I'm not the only one who still has slimy turkey, dried-out stuffing, stale biscuits, and some soupy thing that resembles mashed potatoes in the fridge. (I'm going to eat it all, eventually. Mmm.) Second, for *some* reason there were no winners last week, so some of these entries are left over from the week before.

Okay, I've got to stop picking "ages" that need explanations...on to the winners. So that many people can give belated thanks for me this year, I'm spreading the wealth around this week. No 30-token winner, but a whole lot of winners. Starting off, here's some winners of 10 tokens. I'm not sure why Astronia's an IM, not a particularly funny one, but not a particularly long one either--maybe I just liked the surprise ending.

Subject: Re: Astronia's Astro stuff
From: Astronia
Why won't people leave me alone? arggh....

hi how are you?
Smkittens:to hear that
Smkittens:whats up

Astronia:nothin much.
Smkittens:where are you
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Subject: Re: 10,000,000 people
From: BabyLamms
>>gee...10 million aol'rs....@ $19.95 a month.......thats a whopping $199,500,000.00 a month income. A MONTH!!!! (SunDewLady)>>

Don't forget... some of that money pays the salaries of the people-in -charge-of-screwing-things-up.
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Subject: Re: Carc's Colorful Cache of Comedy
From: TyleredOne
This gorgeous hunk of a man just moved in across the street from me........I think I'll buy my daughter a good set of binoculars for Christmas.............
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Subject: Re: You like me, you really like me!
From: Twi1ite
>>Are you sure it was the Camaro that prevented you from going? I mean it could have been your misspelling of "Berkeley" on the entrance application that sunk you there kiddo.
Just A Thought>>

They don't look at that, I had a little B average in high school, but I killed in my SAT's and look where I'm.........if you know please tell me.
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Subject: Man I wanna do a line
From: LndonSleep
i tried sniffing coke once, but I ended up getting an ice cube stuck up my nose.

There's an unfamiliar name among the winners of 15 tokens. No, not Chris, Toca. Why him? Well, he waltzes in after several months, makes a post, and wins tokens for it. I find that scenario amusing. And hey, if they're listening, it gives people like Nyello, PaulCrash, Lavoris49, ScorpioAsh, Cdbpdcb (and others) a reason to come back (...since they don't seem to be coming back on their own.)

Subject: Re: why this game sucks
From: Chriskolak
>>i believe this game sucks for the following reasons:

#1)i will only be pleased with 5000 tokens for winning
#2)if i do not win for this entry than my point will be made
#3)i dont need to put in a 3rd reason because this is of course
the random game
#4)i am a genius which really has nothing to do with this, but i just
thought i might include that
#5)because i am taking time to actually send this letter i believe that
the sum of tokens i require shall be increased to 6000<<

O.k. folks here a sure fire way to win take notes

1. Mention large sums of tokens
2. Try and blackmail somebody who doesn't care
3. Say something stupid
4. Say something arrogent
5. Increase said sum of tokens
6. and be sure to insult the RG
How every this aspiring Randomer could use a few more pointers
1. Type backwards (never been done)
2. Type random letters (funny and requires great amounts of intelligence thus impressing everone)
3. Threaten Myrrhs family (She always caves in)
4. Make alot of Simpson Refrences (We'll promote you to God Status then)
5. Send in E-mail (All players of the RG And the Resident HO {Myrrh, who by the way is a man and love it when you misspell her name} E-mail mysteriously stopped working about three months ago, no ones seen any of these since)
6. Say something about Hanson sucking (Hanson sucks is funny)
7. Mention poop (Huh Huh Poop)
8. Jokes everyone's heard(nuff said)
* * * *
Subject: Hello, I'm new here... I mean, ummm old here. Well...i used to be here, and here I am, there...y
From: Tocadisco
I've been away from this game for so long, I wondered if it is like riding a bike. Can I just come back and poof there it is? Apparently not. I barely remember how to type. These last two lines - took 40 minutes to type.

That's right. 40 minutes.

Well, i also lost 6 fingers since the last time I was here, so that might be part of the problem. If it's not part of the problem, it's part of the solution they say. Well, I can't see how losing 6 fingers solves anything...eccept maybe my habit for scratching my nuts.
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Subject: Re: Carc's Colorful Cache of Comedy
From: Odaeyss
>> Ok,I'll admit it....I watched "Beavis and Butthead are dead"........twice.........but,HOnestly,I'm still not sure which one is which............>>

Hey, I've watched most of the normal episodes twice. Beavis and Butthead are two cartoon characters that, if they were to post, would probably fit right in.
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Subject: Re: Ozma's All Natural Highs
From: Ozma22
Did you ever notice that the background to this message board isn't just a jumble of muted colors running into one another, but is actually lots of push-pins all jumbled together? And the Online Clock is always at 5:09. The little pencil you click on for e-mail never gets any duller, and there are never any files in the cabinet icon or papers in the Favorite Places icon. Oh yes, and the Stocks and Portfolios
graph is always going up.
Surprise, surprise... AOL is not real life!!

Now, I understand that Brian's post had quite the stay in the margin last week. I guess he should get something for that, so he gets 10 tokens. And here's even more 10-token winners.

Subject: Re: Brian's attempt at a thread
From: BrianJ718
I was supposed to fly to Florida this weekend but one of the stewardesses kicked me off the plane after I brought a decaying cow onto the plane. I might be mistaken but I could have sworn that each passanger was allowed to bring one carrion item.
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Subject: Re: Cheese?
From: Dante303
>>Why does my hand smell like cheese?>>

Wis, have you been pleasuring yourself with the provolone again?
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Subject: Re: God am I
From: TAM4chat
>>I've been pondering this issue for awhile and I've come to a conclusion: Yes, I am God>>

Friendly advice, er..God. Take swimming lessons before ya go walking on water.
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Subject: Re: Sal's Caprice.
From: DrSalina
I watched an hour of Al Gore and Bill Clinton on C-Span. Must be the fever.
* * * * *
Subject: Re: The Proclamation
From: SunDewlady
>>Well, Mike Hunt, for one. Jack Knoff, for another (I acually know someone with the last name Knoff... Jared, though. Everyone calls him Jack anyway).>>

I went to school with a Laurie Kunta. Actually, my mother slapped my mouth when I was 12 because I told her that my friend Laurie Kunta was comming over. She told me don't ever say that word again. I was afraid to ask what word. So from that day foward, I didn't invite any of my friends over anymore.

Now, I'm not going to get into this "who do you like better?" between Astronia and MagiAlex1. I got in enough trouble between Khaleth and Bloodguilt and they're not even related. Magi has twice the number of posts as his sister listed here, so he got twice the tokens (20.) As far as the other 20-token winners, I do just like them better.

Subject: Re: Three gay guys at bar
From: MagiAlex1
There was these three gay guys at the bar. One of them farted,"sssssssssssssss."
other one farted too,"ssssssssssssss." Then the third guy farted,"bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb."
the other two said," Damn, he's a virgin!!!>>

Man you guys are so sexist! Why don't you tell any jokes about gay women farting?
* * * *
Subject: Re: Magialex1's Magic Tricks!
From: MagiAlex1
Have you ever been so embarrased that you are afraid to show your face in public? Probably not as many times as me.
* * * *
Subject: Re: NEWBIE BAIT
From: PiaAdams
>>BTW...I thought "twit" went out in the ' 80s....?>>

Obviously not, you're still here...
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Subject: Re: Define "random", please
From: PiaAdams
>>Any thoughts? {RavnChick}>>

Any thoughts? Any thoughts? Well...since you asked...I think my friend Peter's a good guy, I think my brother needs a reality check, I think I'm gonna get some tonite, I think the guy staring at me from outside the window looks like Rush Limbaugh, I think Rush looks like a giant potato, I think I spelled potato better than Quale, I think quail is a nice bird and no one should eat it, I think birds are cool, I think I want to fly, I think I've been hitting the "dust" too much, I think this room needs to be cleaned, I think cleaning rooms are for dorks, I think Hack is an idiot, I think the Simpson's are cool but Daria is better, I think MTV needs to get a clue, I think Clue the board game is boring, I think board games are cool if you play them naked, I think nudity is an art form, I think fat, old, hairy guys should never, ever be nude, I think old, fat, hairy guys are jolly, I think Santa Claus was a bad, bad man...

Enough thinking for you?
* * * *
Subject: Re: MissAimee's Thread O' Holiday Cheer
From: Miss Aimee
Jingle Bells, Hacksim smells,
USAmen got laid.
PiaAdams loves to whip
and Despinetta's gay.
* * * *
Subject: Re: Public Service Announcements (aka "what I learned this weekend")
From: Miss Aimee
Try not to watch Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, and Walker, Texas Ranger in the same night... or in the same lifetime for that matter.
* * * *
Subject: Re: kat's eye
From: The Kat 4u
if they can't take a joke, F them, unless they're ugly, or a guy, they you just hit them with an aluminum baseball bat..
* * * *
Subject: Re: kat's eye
From: The Kat 4u
>>Dios mio, your spanish is almost as bad as Kat's...>> pia vida mia

look, i'm learning. every time i go to taco hell, i learn a new word. it helps me keep my mind off of what i'm eating....
* * * *
Subject: Re: Carc's Colorful Cache of Comedy
From: Carcazoid
You know, instead of Instant Messages, AOL should have Instant Pudding.
* * * *
Subject: Re: Carc's Colorful Cache of Comedy
From: Carcazoid
One of my favorite things to do on a job interview is to take a big bag of popcorn and a cooler full of beer. I usually don't get the job, but everyone there loves me...

One last installment of the 10-token winners. And, yes, I know that even Kosmo picked on his own post. Maybe it's that incentive thing I was talking about earlier.

Subject: Re: CowKosmo's NEWest new thread
From: CowKosmo
I scored today you guys!
I was just talking to this girl, and then there was an acuard silence.
I took advantage of the silence and...
Flipped the foosball guy hitting the ball directly into the goal!
* * * *
Subject: Re: Random, Schmandom
From: Mikey30413
I have decided to make my New Year's resolutions early - that way if I change my mind - so what!
In 1998, I resolve to:
..........stop yelling "WHAT? ARE YOU DEAF?" to old people.
..........wear underwear. more liver. nicer to (yuk) animals, especially Llamas. nicer to (yuk) kids. nicer to (yuk) Hack.
* * * *
Subject: Newbies
From: CrzyGirl87
I have had a long day and I come here to my place of relaxation and find the place over run with newbies whose posts belong in the Giggle Box. If I wanted to hear funny jokes I wouldn't come here.
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Subject: Re: Lil uns little thoughts
From: Lil un 116
OK I'm having a REALLY BAD DAY HERE!!!!!
So bear with me while I have a theraputic fantasy.............

My husband got in an accident today, the car is trashed but he's ok. ( Here's where it goes into the fantasy.) Finishing paying off the car, no big deal. We have several others. We're extremely wealthy you know. Increased insurance rates. Who cares, I'll never know the difference since we have accountants who pay our bills. In fact I don't even have to type this if I didn't want to. I'll just make the help do it. Credit card balances? We pay them off every month, well the accountants do. So I think we'll go on a trip to get our minds off this nasty business while our people take care of this. Maybe we'll go to our home in Scottland, of course our Swiss home is much nicer. I think I'll stop off in Haiwaii first though and do some shopping in Paris.............

So do I feel better? Not really
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Subject: Re: XFo Flow
From: XFoTwenny
I'm thinking of quitting my job and playing the random game full time. Hopefully, food, shelter, and aol costs will soon be made available for tokens.
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Subject: Re: Another of my short-lived threads (self-explainitory)
From: MrMrsStry


>>This is the third time this week someone's told me to get some Prozac, and it's only Tuesday.


I haven't needed my Prozac since I stopped posting on the Random Game. Hmmmmmm. I am beginning to feel a facial tic occurring....

And finally, for no good reason, 25 tokens to Mitch and Snipes.

Subject: Re: This sucks.
>>I have been blocked from entering anything in Hecklers because I used the word penis in an interactivity.<<

Well, you wouldn't have been blocked except that you used it for The Absolute Worst Thing I Ate For Dinner.
* * * *
Subject: Re: Snipesville
The RG doesn't seem to get a lot of respect from other people. That's why I think we should change our name to Yo Mamma's gonna get a beat down if you talk bad about us game.
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Subject: Money hungry
From: MitchRK
I wish I had enough money to fly everyone here on the RG out to New York City first class and treat everyone to dinner at the most expensive restaurant in town, complete with cocktails, dancing, live entertainment, the works. I wonder what I would do with all that money?
* * * *
Subject: Horse talk
From: MitchRK
A horse is a horse of course (of course), and no one can talk to a horse, of course. That is, of course, unless the horse is there and you feel like talking to it. What's to stop you? You can talk to a fig tree if you want to, or a pool table, or a Radio Shack, or a plate of rigatoni, or a sock. You might even ask these things questions, rhetorical, of course (of course).

If these things talk back to you, maybe you should not automatically assume that you are perfectly sane and you are the only one who knows that this thing can talk and everyone else is wrong. It is very possible that you have lost your little bag o' marbles and you need to check yourself into the nearest "facility."

I actually read about a week and half worth of posts in two days, and I would like to give thanks that those two days are finally over with.