Hey! Remember the '80s? For those of you who no longer watch Saturday Night Live, that would be a quote from it. . .and oh my God, I can't believe I've just quoted something from the current Saturday Night Live! Well, you can rub it in at another time; right now it's time for this week's winners.

There were some themes this week. One was identifying yourself with pop culture from when you were a kid. This made highly for engaging conversation. I won't share the other themes because you *really* should have been reading *every* post. 6 tokens to ChrisMLT for knowing who Bo and Luke are.

Subj: No longer a kid
From: ChrisMLT
You know you're no longer a kid when...

Just one peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn't do it anymore.
Driving a car doesn't always sound like fun.
The average 10 year old doesn't have a clue who Bo and Luke are.
Being bad is no longer cool.
You have friends who have kids.
Saturday mornings are for sleeping.
You are taller than the slide at the McDonald's playland.
Your parents jokes are now funny.
You have once said, "Whatch-you talkin' 'bout Willis?"
You have owned, and since disowned Michael Jackson's Thriller.
Christmas starts to grate on you.
You'd rather wear your dirty clothes again, 'cause Mom is not there to wash them.
Two words: Parachute Pants
Naps are good.
Hitting girls is no longer considered flirting.
You no longer do the "pee pee dance".
You have once deemed Space Invaders as "the best game ever".
When things go wrong, you can't just yell "do over".
Old Pro Ballplayers are younger than you.
The only thing in your cereal box is...cereal.
You actually buy scarves, gloves and sunscreen.
Your idea of fun parties now include chips and salsa and snapple.
You leave ballgames and concerts early to beat the crowd.
You WANT clothes for Christmas.
You don't want a Camaro because of the insurance premiums.
You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.
You've bought an album on vinyl.
You remember seeing Stars Wars when it first came out.

Oh God, I'm old!!

Don't Forget To Stop And Smell The Roses!! -->-->--{@B
WATCH OUT!!! That one has a bee in it!!!

[One of the less recognized themes of the week was PaulCrash's dream. I wouldn't try interpreting it, but 5 tokens to PaulCrash and 5 to ARTochsen for the reply.]
Subj: Dream
From: PaulCrash
I had a dream that I was chosen as the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes, but since I am not home most of the day, they had to surprise me at night. I heard a rustling outside and saw figures moving in the darkness, so I got a shotgun and started shooting. I found the PCH guy laying in the bushes with his nice blue PCH blazer and he was clutching that big check with MY name on it. I was so embarrassed. I woke up before the
dream was over, but I guess they would have disqualified me anyway for killing one of their prize patrol people. Rules, rules, rules.

Crash (20 and counting)
Subj: Re: Dream
From: ARTochsen
PCH Sweepstakes. Kind of like the lotteries...your chances of winning are just as good if you don't enter.

Lover of the English language.

[Abazar P was complaining that a certain NordicTrack post would win tokens this week. Well, yep it's getting 5--so is Abazar P. Although I now understand that this post isn't all that original, being a female I never saw it before.]
From: Abazar P
Another point about restroom etiquet is the buffer stall. Some men do not understand the proper procedure for urinal usage. For this reason I will make up the urinal etiquet quiz. This exercise shall prove to be fun and informative for both men and women.

Question One - the easy one

1 2 3 4 5 6

Stall one is occupied - which one do you chose?

Answer: 6 - you want to get as far away as that bastard as possible. This will also come in handy if another man comes before the first one finishes.

Question 2 - A little harder

1 2 3 4 5 6

Stalls one and six are occupied - which one do you chose?

Answer: Either 3 or 4 would be appropriate answers. This provides the buffer stall that is necessary.

Question 3 - Not much harder

1 2 3 4 5 6

Stalls one, three and six are occupied - which one do you chose?

Answer: 4 - Although you don't have a buffer with the guy in 3, it's better than being sandwiched between the other two.

Question 4 - This one might be tricky

1 2 3 4 5 6

Stalls one, two, and five are occupied - which one do you chose?

Answer: 4 - believe it or not this is the only correct choice. An answer of 1 would give a wall but it is incorrect because it would "couple you" with the guy in 2, and we wouldn't want that now would we?

Question 5 - You're almost there

1 2 3 4 5 6

Stalls one, three, four, and six are occupied - which one do you chose?

Answer: none - You get the hell outa there. Go pretent to comb your hair in the mirror or wash your face or something, but you wait till someone is done.

Thanks for playing. You can make up a scoring system if you really need one. If you're a dumbass - don't use the urinals when I'm in there. I hope this has been fun and informative for all. I justify myself making this quiz despite my efforts to counter all quiz making because this is stuff that just needs to get out. Please use the restrooms with care, and have fun.
Abazar P
I know you are, but what am I?
__ __
/ \ / \ LOVE
\ L O V E / LOVE!
\ /
\ / L O V E!!!
\ /
All hail the Grand PimpDaddyMaster!

Subj: The Nordictrac catalogue
From: VicFirth00
This is the new Nordictrac catalogue:

The original Nordictrac-- Remember this?
Nordictrac II-- New wood.
Nordictrac advanced-- More money, same crap.

Nordicrider-- Up down up down.
Nordicrider for the handicapped-- not recommended for small dogs and children.

LEG SHAPER series:
Leg shaper minus-- Not as good as Leg shaper
Leg shaper-- 20 minutesa day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year and still fat!
Leg shaper plus-- See leg shaper.

Nordic finger shaper- Keyboard with sticky keys.
Nordic enter key add on- Makes the enter key even stickier!

Nordiccar- Uses no gas, and olypic pedelers can reach 20 mph!
Nordiccar gas addon- just another crappy japanese car.
Nordictruck- Will not move no matter how strong you legs are.

Nordicshirt- made of ductile metal
Nordicpants- see nordic shirt
Nordictux- Now you can work out in style!
/\/ / \/\

[The next post by Crakerz123 receives 6 tokens because it is one of the few posts now-a-days I can see correctly on AOL 2.7.]
Subj: A-maze-ing Game (Thatz fun knee)
From: Crakerz123
Follow the maze correctly to find out what it says:

A W E U P?
O D M A K E T H I S P I E C E O F C R A P G A M E U P?
G O T H I S W A Y ? O

I'm the Crakman! Crakerz123 ;)
o o
\ /
({[- -]})
\ - /

[Speaking of posts I can't see correctly, let it be known that Lavoris49 is not being rewarded with 5 tokens for what may be represented as "room" or may be represented as mouthwash molecules. Lavoris49 and the rest of the following people are receiving 5 tokens each because of some other reason. I'm not telling you that reason because you should be reading every post made during the week.]
Subj: Re: Eagles
From: Lavoris49
Once, I swallowed some gum. It was on the bottom of my shoe.>>

This just reminds me. Yesterday, at school, my friend and I found a bag of caramel corn on the floor in the hall on our way to Latin. Then she ate the whole thing during class when we were supposed to be studying. It was pretty gross. This guy in our class kept saying that some freshman could've gone to the bathroom, not washed his hands, eaten out of it, and some of the corn could've fallen back in. Ew. I would've eaten some, too, since I
probably have those kind of germs all over me, anyway, since the soap at school doesn't kill anything, but I wasn't allowed to. And she wouldn't share with me, anyway, even though I had touched the bag first.

"If you look really closely, it looks like the molecules are smiling. Actually, I just made that up. But it's probably still true."
room room room room roomL49 room room room room room<---- mouthwash molecules
Subj: Re: A thought about Barbi. Please read- I need your opinion.
From: MaLkNoX420
I used to pull the heads off my Barbies, fill them with ketchup, and then bury them in my little sister's "digging spot" >we were too poor to have a sandbox, so she just dug up this one spot in the yard>... aaah, those were the days...

{{TiCkLE-mE GoMER}}

...Carc! Carc! He's our man! If he can't do it, just forget it... it wasn't important anyway
Subj: Top 10 synonyms for random (and what they REALLY refer to).
From: MacLeigh
Top 10 synonyms for random (and what they REALLY refer to):

13) ARBITRARY as in the way tokens are awarded.

82) DISCONNECTED as in my life since...

48) UNPLANNED as in a life wasted in the Random Game.

48) STRAY as in the thought processes of those who enter.

4) DESULTORY as in the content of many of the posts.

115) PURPOSELESS as in entering "ABAZAR'S CORNER."

24) PERCHANCE as in the likelihood of abstaining from the Random Game.

13) INDESCRIMINATE as what got me here in the first place.

62) HIT-OR-MISS as in the chance of tokens being posted.

101) HAPHAZARD as in my ability to make new relationships outside of the Random Game.

6) UNCONSIDERED as in any post from ABAZAR.
;-0 :-) ;-0 :-) ;-0 :-) ;-0 :-)
Subj: An offer no one can refuse!
From: ThsChmngMn
New from Slime-Lifeless books comes the series of books so insightful, so profound, you'd swear it was insightful and profound. "Mysteries of the Preferably Kept Unknown". Start your collection with volume I: "The stuff inside Twinkies". Once we've piqued your interest, feel free to order volume II: "The mating rituals of the HO staff". Other volumes will be forced upon you, cancel when you die.
Order now and receive this special FREE gift, "1001 Uses for ToeJam". Find out how to make a tasty quiche your friends will die for!
Call now, operators are standing by!*

*Operators are not actually standing. They're sitting really. Some of them are even lying on sofas and various other pieces of furniture we keep around the office. Last week someone brought in a futon. This brought much delight to the other operators in the office because, as we all know, futons are actually better for your back. Speaking of backs, I've been having some pain in my lower back.I went to the doctor, but he said I just needed to
relax a little and watch some TV. So I rented "Throbbin' Hood". A VERY good film. I highly recommend it.
Subj: On your birthday. . .
From: Smurfet344
On your birthday, don't do anyone-I mean anything I wouldn't do. Opps freudian whip-I mean slip. You know, when you lay-I mean say one thing and mean a lover- I mean another!
Subj: Re: Life's lessons
From: MitchRK
I was feeling sorry for myself because I had no tokens. Then I met a man who had no sense of humor at all, but he had somehow acquired 250 tokens in a month. So I beat him up and took his shoes.

This is drugs.
This is your brain on drugs.
Subj: More Random Thoughts to Ruin Your Day
From: Krazyk242
monkeys always have the right of way
the man with the chainsaw is always right
happiness is knowing that you're crazy and it scares everyone
do not stare at the sun. It is like staring at Barbara Streisand's nose.

Currently running for Secretary of Insanity, Keeper of the Randomness.
Subj: Re: A Campaign That Will Make Your Mother Choke on an Egg but that's OK, because YOU know CPR...of course you d
From: Tocadisco

I awoke early this morining and donned my new outfit, glow in the dark spandex (it's ok, i'm not fat) and my T-Shirt which reads: "SO WE KILLED A FEW DOLPHINS, SUE US!"
I ran out into the street and began running. But alas, no tuna being thrown. I guess that's the problem with only advertising on the Random Game. So i'm hoping you guys can do a better job at spreading the word.
So, I'm running along Manhattan and like all the cars are trying to run over me and i got those darn Animal Right Activists on my tail cause they read my T-Shirt. I got a lot of hits in the head with objects that have nothing to do with TUNA (how disappointing) but i kept them anyway cause I figured some of you might want some of these neat things which came close to knocking my unconscious.
So look at the list and take what you need:
3 nerf balls
a scrwdriver
an onion bagel
a hammer
dead cat
a few pairs of panties

______Toca K. Disco_______________
Pet my ferret.

[Toca in spandex? I haven't seen a picture of Toca, but I still find that an interesting image to imagine. Anyway! The big winner this week is Mardamor. Although a newbie at the Random Game, Mardamor has already been compared to the likes of Carcazoid. (You really need to read every post...) So, 10 tokens to Mardamor. And now a sampling: ]
Subj: Week 1, Day 2
From: Mardamor
Man, I'm really starting to like this game. What a bunch of wacky, zany people. Just my type. Typing is not my best thing. I was typing a letter to my grandmother and I forgot to proofread it. Poor grandma. She must have read that letter 15 times before she passed it around the nursing home. All the seniors there started complaining about their eyes. Finally the nurse took the letter away from grandma. Then she called me and chewed me out for
playing pranks on old people. I couldn't get a word in edgewise. Anyway, now I proofread everything. And this game doesn't suck.
"That'll be $16.50 please"
Subj: Re: Here I am!
From: Mardamor
>>So- let's see if I can get a winning entery here..........
No- it's no use! Ever since this board was put up all my good randomess dried up!!!! I'm lost! I'll never win again! Never! Ever!
:::crying a LOT:::>>

Is this what happens if you play this game too much? Gosh. Maybe I should stop now. Or not.
"I'll paint any car for $39.95"
Subj: I can't believe it's not butter
From: Mardamor
Well, actually, I can believe it's not butter. What I can't believe is that they used that trained gorilla Fabio in a commercial. I mean, who's gonna buy into the concept that this guy can even talk, much less count the change necessary to buy a dairy product substitute. I could see using Lou Ferrigno, or even Rowdy Roddy Piper. At least these guys don't pretend to be anything other than what they are: big, dumb money grubbers. The powers that
be would have us believe that this Fabio is some kind of romantic genius. Right. Like he doesn't have someone to make sure his shoes are tied before he goes out. It's really beyond me. But then again, I'm not an expert. Just a critic.
"I'll paint any car for $39.95"

Okay that's all; congratulations to all the winners! Now, is anyone going to Funkytown? Won't someone take me there?