Q: if you could live forever would you and why? Miss Alabama in 1994 Miss Universe contest answered A:I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever. (Auroriana) (Auroriana)
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Let's analyze steve case. First take a look at "Steven": Stephen. from greek origin. Meaning: Crown. So..apparantly Mr. Case feels pretty high and mighty with such a royal name. Case- noun. 1. The state of things in a given instance; a special condition of affairs... hmmm... Special. Mr. Steve Case must feel very special with such a royally special name. Hope I cleared some stuff up for all of you. (ScorpioAsh)
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Day two of my candidacy for President of the Random Game...
My campaign slogan: "Meat-eating orchids forgive no one just yet!"
Political Party: I am the official nominee of the Archdeluxican Party.
Cabinet: My cabinet will consist of the following people if elected:
TocaDisco: Department of 100110101
Shilorider: Queen of Crack
Industrry: The Department of Wondering Too Damn Much
TroubWLW: Department of Witchcraft
Kaziganthi, Kumantes, and Krazyk242: Head Wizards of the KKK (get it?)
MooGeneric: Department of Burning Them Damn Scots
Beergutt and MitchRK: Department of Typing Reeeeeeeeally Long Stuff
JamiJR and ScorpioAsh: Department of Lots n Lots of Energy
BabyLamms, UzeTheFors, and MutantYoda: Department of Scaring Me
SIMBeing: Department Of Microsucking
BioChick1: Senior Advisor
The remaining Random Veterans can serve in my Congress.
(Mr Onliner)
[And the electric chair to me? Where do I sign up?]
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The Random Game is in a sad state. I should mow you all down with an AK-47. (LtCmr RJ)
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If elected, I promise to make the SEND button bigger than the CANCEL button. Having the CANCEL button being bigger sends a bad message to children, such as "Hey kids, CANCEL going to school and start smoking the cocaine-derivative crack rock!" We just can't have that! (Mr Onliner)
[I think that is HO's try at a joke ;o) Now, I'm reconsidering my vote for you.]
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When I was little I got picked on. Now that I'm all grown up I the boss to the bully that picked on me. So now his life is and endless hell. HaHaHaHaHa........ (EB RAVEN)
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If elected, I promise that the next bastards who
a) Send in the Random Game Rules
b) Type in emaG modnaR ehT
c) Type in ewjrqoijfkdnvajhoiqpxncnvn, or anything of the like
will be tarred, feathered, and kicked the hell off of AOL. (Mr Onliner)
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I have a friend, and he's really screwed up in the head.
Whenever you say "Pants!" he replies with a hearty "Paaaaaaants!"
Whenever you say a four-syllable word, he drops whatever he's holding and does the Macarena.
This is true, ask JH Probe. (LtCmr RJ)
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If elected, I promise that everyone that votes for me in the election (which will be Valentine's Day) will get the super-special "Mr Onliner's Happy Funtime Newsletter", featuring several nude chicks and, uh, money. (Mr Onliner)
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2 potatoes are standin on the street corner how do you know which ones the prostitute? The one screamin IDAHO IDAHO (MartyFrog)
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I take my head and EAT IT WITH A SPOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Little known fact: I really am sane. (Nyello)
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The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe. (Fitowits) (Fitowits)
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I peel ducks. I dwarf toss. I eat spank. Read my profile for more. (Nyello)
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My Dissertation On the Importance of Good Mental Health...by ScorpioAsh, M.D.
Mental health is the most important asset one can have. As the six-fingered man in The Princess Bride said, "If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything". or something like that. Healthy people are happy people. Unless of course on the surface your healthy (mommy? is that you mommy? Mommy! come save me!) is not necesarily an indication of (General suh! Yessuh!) actual mental health. Mental hygeine may require (But I don't want to kill Steve Case! He gives me my AOL. YES YOU DO YOU WANT TO KILL HIM, YOU WANT TO TORTURE HIM, PULL OUT EVERY HAIR ON HIS BODY..) visits to a psychologist for those with slight mental disturbances or those in highly stressful (AND TEAR OFF EACH OF HIS FINGER AND TOE NAILS) positions, due to work or family. If you have a stronger mental (AND CUT OUT HIS EYES AND PLACE HIS HEAD ON A PIKE) disturbance, it might be advisible to (AND MARCH HID HEAD THROUGH THE PARIS STREETS CHANTING "CA IRA! CA IRA!") pay a visit to a psychiatrist and possibly inquire about available medications (AND POISON HIS CAT AND IF HE DOESN'T HAVE ONE THEN'LL I'LL POISON HIS DOG AND IF HE DOESN'T HAVE ONE I'LL) for your particular diagnosed affliction. Once on a medication (POISIN HIS CHILDREN.) the psychiatrist will
carefully monitor your medication. (Mommy? Is that you? Are you ever coming back?) (ScorpioAsh)
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I haven't committed a crime. I just failed to complie with the law. (Fitowits) (Fitowits)
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Besides the murders and burglarys the crime rate is quite low. (Fitowits) (Fitowits)
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(I8o=>
a woodchuck with a goatee wearing goggles and a hard hat. (ScorpioAsh)
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Hey! listen to me, listen to me, listen to me!!!!I want attention! ATTENTION! Gimmie gimmie gimmie! ME ME ME ME ME! over here! (GrmReaperX)
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Im not sober! I AM drunk! er..wait..other way around...say, wanna go on a date? (GrmReaperX)
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To Ms. Boldy-type person. I love you. I have decided that you loveme too. We are getting married in 2 weeks. If your family asks questions about how we met, tell me, i shall destroy them. I love you. (GrmReaperX)
[Wait till you sober up, then take a better look at me. You may want to change your mind.]
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Is your zoobity wonka wonka twee functioning correctly? (GrmReaperX)
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Black cat rubbing against my back, Is this bad luck? Or am I to grant you a wish... (Fire b4267)
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I am the man with a toe for a finger and a finger for a toe. I get foot fungus on my hand and my foot has a knuckle. I like to pick my nose with the finger on my foot. Have you ever had sex with a man with a finger for a foot and a foot for a finger? I have had sex with a woman who had a tooth on her stomach and a belly button in her mouth once. The tooth can realy hurt, ill tell you that. Am i boring you? well, too bad. You are hoping i'm almost done now, arent you? well, im NOT! ha ha ha ha! The chicken crossed the road because he felt like it, damn it! We are the Ni's who say Knight! What is a ni, you ask? Well who gives a damn, i answer! Good bye! (GrmReaperX)
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Dont you hate those idiots who make those dumb Deja Vu jokes jokes? I know I do I do. (GrmReaperX)
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I remember seeing her naked, pulsating body lyng on the bed, next to the cow, the bed covered with milk, and, if you have gotten this far and are still reading this, what the hell is wrong with you, you pervert!?! (GrmReaperX)
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Dear Miss Bold Letter/Bracket Enclosed Lady, How much do you get paid? Well, let me tell you, it's not enough.I was sitting here, bored out of my mind and decided-why not read all the random junk that other people sent? Why not indeedy! I'll tell you why not! One can go utterly INSANE!!!!!!!!!! And I only read TWO files! My head is reeling! I am spewing random garbage by the mouthful! My family is hiding behind the door with a strait-jacket in waiting! HOW DO YOU STAND IT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Or maybe this is some kind of cruel and unusual punishment-What terrible sin did you commit? Were you the one that came up with that lovey-suckey Barney theme song? I pity you. I think even if you were the one that came up with the Barney-lovey-suckey song, you should STILL get a raise! Now, immy-gay okens-tay!:0) (Fire b4267)
[Do you think I really got sick? I was really on strike for just the reasons you mention. Then, I realized it was stupid to strike. First, I'd loose. Second, I like to torture myself, so why was I striking on the first place?]
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WHY ARE YOU SO PO AT PEOLP (Nutty167)
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Mr Bold Letter Guy (who is suspiciously not writing in bold these days) is a bastard. He was so mean and cruel, that he negleted to post the 2nd of my ingenious "originality" posts. I think I'm going to have to hunt him down now. (PodrazaR)
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READ BELOW IF YOU HATE MR. BOLD LETTER MAN:
[from the journal of PodrazaR]
January 21, 1997, 9:14 PM EST
"Yes! I have found a way to eliminate Mr. Bold Letter Man form existance. Many people called me insane when I proposed my theory, but I have tested it many times on my own computer, and I definitly found a way to eliminate him. For days now, he has agonized all the random game regulars' lives, making snide, rude, sexist, and generally not-funny comments at our entries. But, not to worry. Soon he will be gone from our lives. The only existing way to permanently eliminate the terror of Mr. Bold Letter Man is a simply 1 step program that even a child could do. Now here is the important part:
{ }
This box! Forever, I had no idea what to do with the "{" and "}" characters on my keyboard (except of course for sets), but I now I know! They are for the sole purpose of eliminating Mr. Bold Letter Man. What do you do with them, you ask? Simple. Make a box. With a space in between. Like so:
{ }
Now....all you have to do to eliminate the wrath of Mr. Bold Letter Man...is that handy function we've all come to know and love as...the click. Just click in the box! I have already clicked there, multiple times, to ensure that I never have to deal with Mr. Bold Letter Man ever again. Listen friends, the answer to bliss is just above this paragraph! Click there yourself and experience this infinite joy as I have! (PodrazaR)
[Sounds good, one problem...I'm not a man. So, unfortunately, your plan won't work. But, I'll give you a hint at my personal kryptonite, but please keep it to yourself....asterick.]
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I got tokens? Really? Ya mean it? Really? No...I didn't. Did I.......wow..I've never won anything.....cool. I got 4...only 136 away from the drink hugger or whatever it was. Wait-a-minute...... (Calvinbert)
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Failure to plan on your part doesn't make an emergency on mine. (Calvinbert)
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New Death Star weakness: Running on Windows 95!!! (Khaleth)
[I can't wait until the Star Wars rereleases. Lucas spaced them apart just long enough to fit the Random Game, so that when the quotes start to die down after one rerelease and we all start to feel sad, the next one will be rereleased. Then after Return of the Jedi, they'll go back to Star Wars again...It's going to be such fun!!]
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Scratch him behind the ears, maybe he'll stop howling at the moon. (Khaleth)
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It's a stuffed salamander. Something -wrong- with that? (Khaleth)
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C3PO is out of date now...he'll have to be replaced by Data. (Khaleth)
[And what about the walking trash can? By now wouldn't he be able to talk? My trash can does. Well, no, but my car would if I had one.]
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When you're married to a lycanthrope, you kind of get used to strange things going on. (Khaleth)
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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2, but I have no idea how they got in there. (P0TAT0MAN)