Are you ever going to update the files? You just are saving it up to give us 15 in a day aren't cruel person...... (Calvinbert)

If this screen was green instead of purple, would I still be such a failure? (RC the 7th)

Is this screen purple, or am I colorblind too? (RC the 7th)

Flamingoes and mustard both bite. (RC the 7th)

Is the plural of flamingo flamingoes or flamingos? (RC the 7th)


To be or not to be... does it look like I give a sh*t? (RC the 7th)

What the heck do I have to do to win this stupid game??? Do I have to do an Ode to Randomness?? OK, then, here it is: My Ode to Randomness ::bongo drums here:: by W. Jeanne H. Randomness is: a flower in the middle of my professor's nose. Randomness is: A purple banana on the top of my algebra book. Randomness is: A blue sun in the middle of the bathroom mirror. Randomness is: A losing lottery ticket being sucked up my my faulty snow-blower. Randomness is: A Santa Claus pencil sitting on my post office box. Randomness is: A punching bag hanging from the roof of the condemmed Denny's restaurant. Randomness is: A clear glass marble balancing perfectly on the tip of a pink ball-point pen. Randomness is: A Card Shop Plus CD sitting on top of my forensic coach's parakeet. Randomness is: A bag of M & M Minis sitting under my color guard instructer's jacket. Randomness is: My ex-boyfriend's trumpet being stolen by Ed McMann. Randomness is: A paper plate hanging off of my worst enemy's ear. Randomness is: Chris K. walking up to my house and asking to talk to a banjo. Randomness is: An Iomega Zip modem being dragged along behind an '87 Ford pick-up. Randomness is: A red and gold coaster sitting on top of the Eiffel Tower. Randomness is: A gigantic bronze chess piece falling into a dump truck as it leaves Rosie O'Donnell's house. Randomness is: A neon orange fly in your chardonay. Randomness is: An astronaut flying into space in a refridgerater. Randomness is: Bongo drums suddenly stopping for no apparent reason, while sitting in a sea of grape Jello. . Thank you. . (WJHSmile)

and is victorious. (RC the 7th)

Why is my brother such a gerbil? (RC the 7th)

My birthday is in July, so does that make me someone whose birthday is in July? (RC the 7th)

[If you are lucky, it could make you a Cancer.]

That Hecklers icon is really annoying. Every day I wink back at it, but it doesn't seem to make a move on me. (RC the 7th)

Every day me and that dumb Hecklers icon get into a winking contest but IT ALWAYS WINS!! (RC the 7th)

You know those talking palm reading things? I was at the movies, and was waiting, so I reprogrammed it to say "Give me a quarter and I will read your mom." (RC the 7th)

Ok, I am playing the random game here. (RC the 7th)

Do you realize that whatever is on AOL's What's New category is NEVER new? (RC the 7th)

There once was a flying turtle. And a football. And a race car. And a dragon. And someone who starts sentences with conjunctions. And that is all there is to it. (RC the 7th)

I pressed enter. Oops. Show me the guillotine. (RC the 7th)

This is not Random. It has been carefully planned and well-thought-out. Hours upon hours, perhaps even days, have been devoted to this. The first step was 98 minutes spent staring into a non-chaotic lava lamp, followed by 23 minutes examining a fractally patterned scarp of wallpaper. This inspired me to write this completely non-random bit about, um, order. Yeah, that's it. (STB 18)

I've always wondered...if a cow laughs, will milk come out of her nose? (STB 18)

How did Alice ever get THROUGH the Looking-Glass without cutting herself to shreds? (STB 18)

What-EVER. I'm, like, way above this game! (STB 18)

Please don't give me any tokens. I don't like 'em. I don't want 'em. Tokens suck. Who needs tokens? (STB 18)

A fool and his money are soon partying.

JBaker24 (JBaker24)

What Up Homey G?? (BHerlth)

[Well, my ears are crusty.]

Sometimes it takes a nerd to do a candlemaker's job. But sometimes his position is already filled. There are enough air fresheners in the world to last for centuries, but not enough air. So what should we do? Don't ask Geraldo- he isn't on until 10:00 am, but time is irrelevant in the land of the mushroom fuel installers. Join us. Join us. Join us. (Strwbery26)

A "Dude" is actually a male elephant's inner butt hair. I did not make that up. Ask my elephant. (Strwbery26)

What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?

A huddle.

JBaker24 (JBaker24)


Poof! There goes another buffalo. (Bloodguilt)

You look really cute. I think I'll flick you on the cheek. (Bloodguilt)

Woo! I'm contemplative! [from the mouth of Weenywoman] (Bloodguilt)

[I wish Weenywoman wasn't so hesitant to enter entries herself.]

Isn't it comforting to know that your Grandmother received electro-shock therapy for being insane?


Boom, baby, boom! I'm the evil midnight bomber what bombs at midnight!


I'm not feeling so good, Dave. (Bloodguilt)

[You're fired, Hal.]

I'm a lovin' machine. (Bloodguilt)

Why does the whole world have to revolve around me?!? (Bloodguilt)

"Dad! Doug Smith says we're different!"

"Doug's right, Virgil. We ARE different. Thanks to GECAS (pronounced "Jesus") the Genetic Engineering Corporation of American States."

"Mommy, too?"

"Yep, the whole family."

"Is everybody like us?"

"No, son, but we're working on it. Round the clock!" (Bloodguilt)

Friend, when was the last time, heh, when was the last time you had you a big ol' steaming hot bowl o' Wolf brand antimatter? Well, that's too long... (Bloodguilt)

More! More! I'm a bad clown! (Bloodguilt)

Bad is good, baby! Down with government! (Bloodguilt)

The bad part of town. Where the sun never shines, where brutality is a way of life, and where people just, really, aren't very nice at all. (Bloodguilt)

And now, I must leave you, as the Brady Bunch is on, and I find four of those children incredibly arousing... (Bloodguilt)

Cast off those crutches and crawl with pride! (Bloodguilt)

Conform. Conform. Conform. (Bloodguilt)

Consequence, schmonsequence. As long as I'm rich. (Bloodguilt)

One thing puzzles me. How did you manage to get so much custard out of such a small cat? (Bloodguilt)

I hate it when giant mutant worms eat my mom. (Bloodguilt)

[Nobody likes us. Everybody hates us. Think will go eat mom. I don't know, it's just not the same.]

At least that's always been my experience when I stick my hand in freezing cold water. (Bloodguilt)

Oooooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared. Oooh, the Germans. (Bloodguilt)

God bless those pagans. (Bloodguilt)

If you don't have a sense of humor, don't try to be funny. (Bloodguilt)

Maybe I should take my own advice. :-) (Bloodguilt)

No one's a bigger idiot than me. (Bloodguilt)

Expressing individualism is just plain wrong. (Bloodguilt)

Villains, I say to you now, KNOCK OFF ALL THAT EVIL! (Bloodguilt)

Well, that's leprosy for you. (Bloodguilt)

Love hurts. Love scars. Love wounds and mars. (Bloodguilt)

[How do you get so many entries in a row? Do you write them offline and use some automatic aol poster?]

You must obey me. I created you. I am the master, not you! I! I! I! (Bloodguilt)

What's really the difference between a "boyfriend" and a boy friend? I think it's just the kissing. (Bloodguilt)

Ah, I'm bored. Need some lovin'. (Bloodguilt)


Bloodguilt: Uh, gee. ::blushing:: I don't know what to say. I'm just... golly. (Bloodguilt)

GCard: Hi, my name's W. C. John.

Bloodguilt: ::confusedly:: I thought it was Geoff.


Bouncing works for me. (Bloodguilt)

Do you need some more words? I'll be glad to send you some if you like. (Bloodguilt)

[Yeah, give me a word for simile.]

I've got no time for your demented parlor games! (Bloodguilt)

Sometimes people find strange things in oysters. (Bloodguilt)

It's not a sin, it's a medical condition. (Bloodguilt)

Not everything has symbolism. (Bloodguilt)

Unless you're Freud. (Bloodguilt)

Are you? (Bloodguilt)

[He's dead, Jim.]

ok,sure! (JW558)

[I should give you something just for interupting the flow of Bloodguilt...]

I'm pleased to meet you, Mr. Freud. (Bloodguilt)

Hey, nice goatee. (Bloodguilt)

You know, I think you're a genius. (Bloodguilt)

Sometimes, I wonder why Yanni is hated so much all around the world. Then I remember: it's cause he sucks. (RHSean)

rock on lebanon (STEFANY8)

I enjoy Pop Rocks (MikeS2)

Last connected Sat Jan 25 14:45:12 1997 EST from (Khaleth)

Do you know why computers were first built? (Khaleth)

Both of my buddies online right now are people Bloodguilt doesn't know. Nyah. (Khaleth)

anyone see smashing pumpkins last night? i did. it was fun. ha ha. (STEFANY8)

Senor el gato, was a cat...and upon a high red roof he sat. He was there to read a letter, meow meow meow.... I don't remember the rest of the song. (Khaleth)

Just say no to rubbery monsters. (Khaleth)

Once upon a time I was a normal, happy person. Then I hit puberty. (JamiJR)

I am 20 years old. I will be 21 on September 8th. And I still don't have a driver's lisance. Why? Because I'm lazy. I don't want to drive because I don't want to take the test. (JamiJR)

Based on clintons stand on tabacco what will the kids smoke after sex with senator Packwood? (NaGreitta1)

For the dense people who do not get it, here's the simplified version of the Random Game rules. 1- Type something, anything, in the response box. 2- hit send. If you want to send a file to the contest judge/queen, go to Compose Mail. Type HO Theme in the TO box, put in a subject, write something, then attach a file & hit Send. Simple, isn't it? (JamiJR)

[And from there, wait until I post the entries and then when you see yours say, "I sent that 3 days ago!! What's up with that??"]

I like green peas. Green peas are sweet. My baby likes green peas. She eats them all the time. I don't know if my husband likes green peas, I'll have to ask. He said not especially. I like this game. It is a cool game. My baby poops green peas also. The poop is green. I hate the color green. I like money, even though it is green. Trees are nice, but they are green. They at least give us oxygen to breathe. I like house plants, but they are that color green again. I have a green truck and live in a green house. I hate the color green. My bathroom is green. Hell, my toilet is green. My bath tub is green. I hate green. The kitchen sink is pink. My stove is green. I'm not kidding about any of this. I am telling you the truth. At least my dog is black. My husband's hair is black and grey. My favorite color is purple. I like purple. I don't have a damn thing in this house that is purple. I use to have a quilt on my bed that was purple, but someone stole it. They took it right off my bed. Can you believe that? I am wearing a blue shirt. Blue is a nice color. The sky is blue, the ocean is blue. But blue can be bad like when you get the blues. My baby has blue eyes. I have brown eyes. My walls are brown. My ceiling is brown. My carpet is brown. My furniture is brown. I don't like brown very much. It is a depressing color. It will gives you the blues. (CEdwa49620)

Did you know there's over 500 people on AOL alone who pretend to be Lestat de Lioncourt? And 90% of them try to IM me at the same time. (JamiJR)

okay based on clintons stand on tabacco what will the kids smoke after sex with senator Packwood Nagreitta:)


[You know, I once new a person named NaGreitta that send this in.]

It's too crazy for these paws to claw at (Tocadisco)

Why is it the weekends are when the phone lines are the busiest and the message boards are the slowest? (JamiJR)

How come people can get away with saying the GD word here? I'm not fond of the GD word myself. God doesn't damn. People do. (JamiJR)

What do you suppose would happen if we were able to crss breed monkeys with humans & got nothing but little boy human-monkeys? Would Michael Jackson suddenly get a whole bunch of new pets? (JamiJR)

I don't like monkeys. I like puppies. Puppies are cuter then monkeys. Puppies lick your face and sleep in your lap. You can house break puppies. Monkeys have to wear diapers in the house. Puppies are better then monkeys. (JamiJR)

The gods of AOL hate me. (JamiJR)

You know what I want to do? I want to take Steve Case's wallet away, tie him up to a post, then put his wallet just out of reach of his fingertips. (JamiJR)

Do DMV workers go to school to learn to be so rude? (JamiJR)

AOL's billing department was suppose to call us by 1pm today. So I stay offline. They never called. Could it be because THEY ARE WRONG TO CHARGE ME $293 WHEN I AM ON UNLIMITED SERVICE?!?!?!?!?!?! (JamiJR)

I wish the guy who updates the tokens board would get off his lazy butt & update it again so my name would be up there!!!! (JamiJR)

[Well, we know you are up there. And, it's not like you can cash in yet ]

I think Web Crawler is out to get me. It no longer serches for sites with the words I type in. It searches for anything it likes. I tried to find colleges that offer courses online, I ended up with a web page for buying realisate in IRELAND! (JamiJR)

I regret that you had so little time in which to live, to breathe, to learn and grow. But I'm not sorry I killed you. (Bloodguilt)

A is for the A$$h0le$ who run you.

O is for how Over-charged I am.

L is for the fact I still Love you.

But where do I sign up for MSN?