Turn off all the lights in your house.  The  Amish  have no
electricity, which means every sexual encounter takes place
by romantic candlelight.

    Wear plain, modest clothing . . . all the more to intensify
the feeling of discovery when the clothing comes off. . . .

    Purchase some farm animals to keep around your yard.
The Amish are constantly around farm animals that are re-
producing.  This reinforces the fact that sex is natural . . . .

    Buy a butter churn.  When you see your partner churn-
ing away, it'll be an erotic sight that you won't soon forget.

                                                    [Weekly World News]

   AMSTERDAM – Customers and professionals alike in Am-
sterdam's famed red light district  are  spooked  at  reports  of
vengeful prostitute spirits' wreaking havoc in one of the Nether-
lands' most popular sex shops.

    "Several times we have arrived at work . . . to find the whole
store in disarray," says Betje Valkenburg, owner of the Cuddly
Crypt.  "Lingerie, whips, sex toys . . . thrown around . . . .  We
close up at 2 a.m. and it's neat as a pin . . . ."

    Customers  also  report strange activities  – especially  single
males.     "I was browsing through the massage oil and lubricant
aisle . . . ,"  says Deehan Adema.   "I felt something nuzzling my
neck and stroking my thigh.   Then I distinctly heard a woman's
voice ask me if I wanted to have a good time. But there was no
one close to me . . . ."

    Valkenburg is considering enlisting a priest to perform an ex-
orcism, but she's having problems finding one willing to be seen
in the shop.
                                                             [Weekly World News]