I am a divorced Dad of 3-- 2 girls and 1 boy. I decided to put this site up to help a little into what I feel is a most misunderstood problem a family faces when a divorce is involved--- 

The DAD

Most of us are not deadbeats, but down beaten from the injustice the system has come to call justice for the children. Which is defined solely in terms of money. I am not against child support. But I feel it is too high, with no guarantees it goes to the children. A judge can determine child support payments based - not on what you are earning - but what s/he thinks you are capable of earning. Rights as a non custodial dad are nil to none. The advent of "no-fault" divorce in the US has given rise to a system that strips fathers of their rights, accelerates the breakdown of families, and makes a mockery of the marital contract. 

The saddest part is there is little one can do. Dads haven't united to fight this injustice. Many see this as complaining Dads, but ask the many new wives of divorced dads and the hardships and injustices we all are supposed to take in the name of the judicial process. Most have no understanding the emotional and financial hardships imposed on divorced dads. Helping

What I hate:

Not being able to be with my kids each night--kissing them good night---tucking them in bed. Reading a bedtime story to them--NOT being asked to help out with extra events at school--having my kids tell me their Mom says her new husband is a better Dad then their own biological father--having some smuck trying to coach ball to my kids--Somebody else trying to be a dad to MY KIDS! 

Divorced fathers are demeaned, demoralized, and disenfranchised.  I'm sure every divorced Dad feels like I have -- a  general sense of frustration, anger, and helplessness by all who has dealt with the judicial system in the issues of custody, fair access and support payments. When one goes thru this, one understands why Dads feel helplessness in all aspects of dealing with this issue and you feel like giving up and quitting. I have always been responsible and an excellent father--but the despair one feels is so great, it pulls at you so strongly, never letting up. 

The system truly isn't working here at all for Dads or the kids when it comes to Dads rights and concerns. Having "joint custody" leaves a non-custodial dad a weekend father with no say in your children's daily life--upbringing-- morals. Having no say in the big issues and missing the important little things your kids do and say. Not having Dad actively involved with their children's everyday life is where the  breakdown of the family starts. A very demoralizing aspect for a concerned father. 

This is not bitterness speaking, just another of life's injustices that I wish more could be done about, like so many other life's important  issues.

There is little support for us and I hope this site will assist all the dads a little that are looking for help.

                                      Another Struggling Divorced Dad