Weather or Not

Ever plan a picnic or a cookout based on the weatherman's prediction of a beatiful day? Did you wake up the next morning only to see it raining cats and dogs? Never again. Scientists at a top-secret government lab have accidently built the invention of the century. A by-product of research in world-domination technology, the WeatherPro 2000 is a revolutionary advance in the field of meteorology. Instead of predicting the weather, one can now control it.

Is your town having too much rain? No problem. The WeatherPro 2000 can disipate storm clouds. Experiencing drought? It can cause storm clouds. Whether you want rain or whether you want shine, the WeatherPro 2000 is for you and your community. Reasonably priced at 40 zillion dollars, this handy little invention will be making its way to cities and towns across the nation in no time.

Some critics of this machine warn of its dangerous impact on natural weather systems. They believe it will eventually cause adverse weather or even massive, world-wide destruction. Harry Kane and Susan Nommy, the two researchers most influential in the development of this machine, were quoted as saying, "Hogwash! We've used this thing at least twice and nothing bad happened. Sure it has complicated instructions that only a genius could decypher, but hey. There's bound to be at least one genius in every town that buys one, right? And sure we were originally trying to design a machine that could wipe out whole enemy countries with bad weather that couldn't be traced back to us, but we worked those minor bugs out of it days ago. Those critics are just jealous because they aren't as smart as we are and they don't get to work in a cool, secret government lab underneath the Shady Pines Rest Home at 325 North Hemlock Ave. in Marton, North Dakota."

When asked to demonstrate their invention, Drs. Nommy and Kane disagreed on what to show us. Incidently, mass production of the WeatherPro 2000 will be delayed until the government can repair its facility. During the demonstration, a freak lightning storm swept over the area, striking the lab several times. Fortunately, no one was hurt and the fire damage was only moderate. The Drs. have assured us that they will be up and running in no time and that their marvelous invention will be in stores by next spring.

WeatherPro 2000. Place your reservations today.

Run for your life!


JUNE 2000