Dufus & Shirt…

...Do Not Go To The Ball

Prologue (Friday)

Dufus’ birthday was approaching again, and so was the next Bad Wolf convention from Seventh Galaxy Events, to be held at the same hotel as the previous year (see D&S…Attack of the Giant Noel Clarke).

Announced were ‘Next Doctor’ David Morrissey, soon to be companion Bernard Cribbins, producer Phil Collinson, Sylvester McCoy, Elisabeth Sladen, Janet Fielding, Tracy-Ann Oberman, TVM Master’s wife (in fact and fiction) Eliza Roberts, movie companion Jennie Linden, Raston Warrior Robot Keith Hodiak, Dalek Operators Nick Evans and David Hankinson, and comic book authors, Gary Russell and Tony Lee. Attracted by this guest list, Dufus and Shirt booked tickets for the event, and this time managed to book a room in the convention hotel.

However, in the week leading up to the event, there were a number of cancellations due to work commitments. First casualty was David Morrissey, swiftly followed by Bernard Cribbins (the third Seventh Galaxy event that he had been unable to attend). However, Hamble sprang into action and soon more guests were announced – Jacqueline King, Tracey Childs, Lindsey Coulson and Victoria Alcock (from “Planet of the Dead”).

Making his way up to Meadowhall out-of-town shopping centre in Sheffield by Megabus, Shirt spent a few hours revisiting old shopping haunts, before catching a very small train to Worksop Station, where Dufus was waiting to pick him up.

The evening was spent in checking the internet for guest changes – Eliza Roberts was filming in New Mexico with her husband, but David Ames (Victoria Alcock’s “Planet of the Dead” chum) had been announced – eating a Chinese takeaway, Shirt finally giving Dufus his Christmas presents (nearly seven months late), Shirt helping Dufus pull his covers together for signing, clearing some space in the spare room for Shirt to sleep, but most importantly watching the amazing final episode of “Torchwood: Children of Earth”. Having fashioned the makeshift spare bed again out of cushions, a pillow and a duvet, the two turned in for the night to get an early start the next morning.

Day One (Saturday)

Leaving about on time, the two piled into Dufus’ car, and sped on their way to the ENC. Arriving after about an hour-and-a-half, they found a parking space in the car park, and went to register. Entering reception, there was no sign of a registration desk, and so they wandered down the corridor where the event had taken the previous year. Still no luck, until finally they came across a group of fans milling around, and a sign pointing to the registration desk a short way off. Handing over their confirmation letter, Dufus and Shirt were given their registration packs. Opening these they found their convention passes, a souvenir programme, a composite image of some of the guests, a printed schedule and advertisements for other events. No free signed items in the envelope though this year. Shirt was tempted by the commemorative T-Shirts for £10, but decided to wait until the end of the convention, hoping that they might go down to £5.

Having over half-an-hour before the first panel and the dealers’ room opening, they decided to wander over to the ENC to get some breakfast. Due to there being no exhibitions that weekend, they found all the shops and restaurants locked up. However, Shirt suggested that they walk to Birmingham International Station, five minutes through the Centre, where they found a ‘Subway’ open, where they bought breakfast rolls, eating them on the way back to the hotel.

Arriving back just as the panel room was opening, they went in and took two seats, about halfway back for the first panel of the weekend – Phil Collinson. There was no evidence of a TARDIS this year, not even a Dalek or Cyberman, or large cut-outs – only a stage with a table and three chairs. After a minimum of introductions the panel began. Phil spoke enthusiastically about his time on the programme, concentrating on how he got the job and the early days of the ‘rebooted WHO’. He seemed genuinely surprised at the success that the programme had achieved. He also spoke about his unsuccessful audition to play a part in “Queer as Folk” that RTD had stated was based on him (the job actually going to Anthony Cotton), and his own stab at playing The Doctor in a fan-film when 17 (which was later critiqued by two real Doctors – Davison & Tennant). Leaving the stage, he took the opportunity to hug Lis Sladen who was up next.

Deciding to forego Ms. Sladen’s panel to go and get their morning autographs, Dufus and Shirt moved to the autograph rooms, where they found a complete absence of queues. Entering the first room, they noticed a lack of free photos on the tables, and so returned to the dealers’ room for Shirt to buy a photo for Lindsay Coulson. Dufus meanwhile was partaking of the delights of the Large Endings stall with Ms. Bowerman, signing up for the latest ‘Professor Bernice Summerfield’ season, getting the most recent release signed by the lovely Lisa. Shirt having found three photos that he wanted to get signed over the weekend was frantically gesturing for Dufus to choose one to take advantage of a ‘4 for £10’ deal. Paying David Richardson by cheque, Dufus inexplicably called him Kevin.

[“Well, he looks like a Kevin !”, was his unconvincing reasoning later]

Moving back to the autograph rooms, they still found no queues. There were also large signs stating “No Photographs”. First up was Lindsay Coulson, who signed a photo for Shirt and a DVD cover for Dufus. Moving along the table, both got their “Dalek Invasion of Earth” DVD covers signed by Nick Evans, who as well as being a Dalek Operator, also worked the Slyther.

Moving into the next room, they found Janet Fielding, who found it impossible to believe that anyone would miss a Lis Sladen panel to get her autograph. DVD covers signed, and the two returned to the panel room to catch the end of Ms. Sladen, who was speaking enthusiastically about a certain guest star in SJA Series 3. The panel completed, it was confirmed that Jennie Linden would now be appearing the next day due to illness.

The next panel was Tony Lee, ‘showrunner’ for the IDW comic-book “Doctor Who” 24-issue arc, and his ‘boss’, Gary Russell, script-editor and liaison for all spin-off media. Dufus and Shirt decided to pop back into the dealer’s room. Approaching the Large Endings table again, Dufus found himself being hit with the hard-selling of Jason Haigh-Ellery, who whilst applauding Dufus for his subscriptions to various ranges, was adamant that Dufus should own every CD that they had ever produced. He continually spoke of ‘making a deal’ piling as many items as possible into a pile for Dufus to purchase, the total slowly rising.

“Have you got ‘Cyberman’?”, he asked, “you can have that for £15”.

Dufus was about to say that he had it, when Shirt hissed that he hadn’t got it, and would give him the £15. Eventually, with a large pile of “Sapphire and Steel” audios, the final “Short Trips” collection, Series 2 of ‘Iris Wildthyme’, and the ‘Cyberman’ audios, Dufus paid a total of £85 (Jason had been trying to find other items to get it up to £100, but failed dismally). Mr. Haigh-Ellery insisted on cash, not trusting Dufus’ cheque. Shirt was more restrained, buying the second and third parts of “The Key 2 Time” (the first part not being on the table) for £20, getting them signed by their director, Lisa Bowerman (as well as “The Mahogany Murderers” and “The Diogenes Damsel”). Shirt also took the opportunity to ask about the forthcoming ‘Sherlock Holmes’ audios, confirming his suspicions that only two featured Roger Llewellyn as Holmes (the two based on his one-man shows), the other featuring new father, Nicholas Briggs, as the Great Detective (also returning to a previous stage success). Lisa also found out that she was appearing the next day as well, making her glad that she had brought an overnight bag. Having taken photos of the Dalek display, Dufus and Shirt returned to the panel room.

They were in time to catch the tail-end of the comics panel, where Gary Russell was talking about how different the animation for “Dreamland”, the new animated Tennant story will be from that of “The Infinite Quest”. Tony was also trying to start (unfounded) rumours about “Doctor Who – The Musical”.

The final panel before lunch was Jacqueline King, who was loveliness personified, unlike Sylvia Noble. Telling similar stories to the last time that Shirt had met her, she was still spellbinding, and was clearly enjoying her working relationship with Catherine and Bernard, being very excited about her return in the final Tennant two-parter (but sworn to secrecy about the plot).

The morning’s festivities completed, and Dufus and Shirt walked over to the deserted ENC to use a cashpoint that did not charge a fee. On their return, they wandered around the hotel, aware that they had passed the room where the ‘Bad Wolf Canteen’ was to be earlier, but could not remember where. Eventually finding the room again, they queued up whilst the inefficient staff struggled to provide the advertised fare – potato wedges taking an age to reappear. Finding two unoccupied chairs at one of the tables, the two sat down, grumbling about the prices of a simple hot-dog and burger.

Walking to the autographs area, a queue had formed, leading to the room where Elisabeth Sladen would be signing. Like the good little fans that they are, Dufus and Shirt joined the queue. Having been waiting for about twenty minutes, a steward came down the line, stating that people could leave the queue and return to the same place (persons behind them permitting), in order to get signatures from Phil Collinson and Jacqueline King, who both had no queue. Dufus and Shirt took full advantage of this, getting first Mr. Collinson on their ‘The Inside Story’ and Series 1 poster respectively, then Ms. King on photos, DVD cover and ‘Specials’ poster. Both were very chatty, and seemed pleased to see everyone.

‘They’ve only just started signing’, thought Shirt, ‘let’s see what they’re like at the end !’

Exiting the signing room first, Shirt managed to slip back into the queue between the fans who had been in front and behind of them before, expecting some complaints, but there were none. Dufus soon joined him, and the queue continued to move slowly.

Finally, they reached Ms. Sladen’s room, the queue having been held up by Gold and Silver ticket holders being allowed to enter at the front.

The queue moved swiftly inside due to the ‘no photographs’ rule, and soon Dufus and Shirt were getting their items signed by the lovely Sarah Jane.

Leaving the room, they were just in time for Gary Russell and Tony Lee, who happily signed books and comics of all descriptions, as well as Dufus’ “The Infinite Quest”.

They then took the opportunity of checking-in to the hotel, before the rush later.

Returning to the panel room, via the dealers room again, they found Janet Fielding in full flow, complaining about how female companions were portrayed in the 1980’s. However, to everyone’s excitement, she revealed that she was to return as Tegan in three Large Endings audios next year. She also spoke about a rumour that she might be asked to appear as Tegan in the new series, which she told the gathered hordes had been given more credence by a conversation that she had had with Phil Collinson, despite his no longer being the producer. Having scared the interviewer and most of the audience who held back from asking her questions, the panel ended with Janet declaring that she wishes to be Queen, having previously mocked the audience for what seemed to be a forthcoming English loss in the first Ashes Test (in fact due to rain the next day, it was a draw !).

In the gap between panels, they popped into the dealers room to meet Anneke Wills, buying prints of her ‘Jamie McCrimmon’ and ‘Sixth Doctor’ paintings (you’ll never guess which one bought which print !), whilst getting a few other items signed also. Shirt also bought a copy of the Whoovers’ “An Evening with Nicola Bryant” DVD.

Returning to the panel room, they watched the final panel of the day, Lindsay Coulson, who spoke enthusiastically about her time on “Doctor Who”, wanting to return under heavy make-up as an ‘aged crone’.

The day ended with an auction, in which various signed items failed to make gigantic amounts of money, selling for about their worth. Luckily there were no more large signs for Dufus to bid on (see D&S…Attack of the Giant Noel Clarke).

Retiring to their room, Dufus and Shirt took the opportunity to have a rest, and for Shirt to watch the last-ever episode of “Robin Hood”, which he had missed due to the tennis a few weeks before. The celebrity meal had been shunned, and it was decided not to frequent the hotel restaurant. They therefore made their way off-site in Dufus’ car to a Harvester restaurant near where Dufus used to work. Two large courses consumed, and both friends realised that they were feeling unwell. They therefore returned to the hotel, and decided to forego the “Voyage of the Damned” ball, watching a bit more television and chatting, before having an ‘early night’.

Go to Day Two

[PL]