Dufus & Shirt...

...Queue Another Day.

It had been over two-and-a-half years since the last ‘Large Endings Day’, but it was back and now being run by the team behind ‘Whooverville’ in Derby. Therefore, after the fun of ‘Whooverville 10’, Dufus and Shirt had booked tickets, particularly as you could get up to 10 covers signed by each guest.

Shirt travelled up on Friday afternoon as usual, listening to ‘The Dispossessed’, but due to the train being held outside Newark Station was around 10 minutes late. Not taking this into account, Shirt sat on his usual bench, unaware that Dufus having had the afternoon off work was already in the car park. Having thrown his mobile to the bottom of one of his bags, he did not hear Dufus repeatedly phoning him to tell him to come over to the car, and eventually Dufus had to come over in person to get Shirt’s attention. The evening was spent in watching television and in rounding up the large number of Dufus’ covers for signing the next day.

The next morning, the plan was for them to leave at 8.30am. However, due to Dufus running late and then being unable to find his car and house keys (they were in the pocket of the pair of trousers that he had forgotten he had been wearing the previous day), they left late and without eating breakfast. They therefore stopped at the first fast food restaurant on the journey, but it was at this point that Dufus remembered that he had forgotten his multiple medications. Shirt therefore went in and order breakfast items for them both, whilst Dufus dashed back home. Around twenty minutes later, they had both eaten, and were getting back into Dufus’ car, trusting that an app on Dufus’ phone might have more luck at directing them to the cheaper car park than his sat-nav. The journey was spent in listening to the first episode of ‘Charlotte Pollard – Series 1’ (in tribute to one of the guests, the lovely India Fisher).

Arriving in central Derby it became clear that Shirt had identified the wrong car park, but that they were on the right part of the one-way system to get to the right one easily. Having parked up and paid, they walked the short distance to the Quad, where they both picked up their tickets. Moving upstairs, the signing area was not yet open, so they went into the main hall for the Opening Ceremony, in which all the guests (save Sophie Aldred who was running late) processed onto the stage. This concluded, Shirt told Dufus that he wanted a professional photo with Eighth Doctor Time-War audio companion, Rakhee Thakrar, leaving him sitting in the main hall. The queue was short, and a few minutes later, Dufus appeared to state that he had decided to get a photo with Rakhee also, joining the back of the queue.

The queue moved quickly, and once you reached the front, you had to indicate which of the three actors present you wanted a photo with – Rakhee, India Fisher or Trevor Cooper. Shirt handed over the money, and was soon posing with Rakhee, apologising to India for foregoing her.

“You’ve already got lots of photos with me”, said India, adding, “With me looking a lot younger”.

“And me”, commented Shirt, indicating his receding hairline.

Photo taken, Shirt waited outside for Dufus who was one of the last in the session. Dufus had decided to have two photos – one with Rakhee and the other with India.

He then waited for his photo to be printed, and soon after this, Shirt’s popped out, which was handed to him, and he went upstairs to the sales area, grabbing a copy of ‘The Eighth Doctor Time War 1’ for Dufus and ‘The Eighth Doctor Time War 2’ for himself. Rejoined by Dufus, they scanned the bargains on offer, but neither picked anything else up. Joining a queue to pay, after around ten minutes they were handing over their boxsets and writing down their e-mail addresses to allow their purchases to be added to their online account. Both were pleased that all purchasers got a metal ‘Large Endings’ pin-badge added to their bag.

Rakhee was now sitting at her signing table, and so they started with her, getting their boxsets and ‘Companions’ books signed by her. Moving along the table, they found themselves in front of Tim Treloar, LE’s Third Doctor, who signed several covers for them each, and then Trevor Cooper, who again signed multiple covers for them and Dufus’ ‘Revelation of the Daleks’ DVD sleeve. Next up was Mark Elstob (LE’s ‘The Prisoner’), who signed a number of non-‘Prisoner’ audios that he appears in. Moving along again, they reached Jamie Anderson, who signed covers of stories that he had written and had directed. Shirt also managed to grab LE writer, Paul Morris, to sign a number of covers (realising later that he had forgotten to get two others signed). Shirt then walked towards prolific LE scribe, Matt Fitton, but he moved off to go to a panel before Shirt could reach him.

It was at this point that they decided to join one of the two longest queues, that for India Fisher (the other long queue being ‘First Lady of LE’, Lisa Bowerman). The queue moved very, very slowly, with a large number of attendees getting their full allowance of 10 covers signed, and India being in a chatty mood. Predictably, as Dufus and Shirt reached the front of the queue, India had to go for a panel, and they were told to come back at 1.30pm.

They therefore went down to the next level where Sylvester McCoy was signing. The queue was mediumly-sized, but moved very slowly. As a sponsored guest, Sylvester would sign two LE items for free, then charge £10 per item for additional ones. (Shirt had believed it had been only one LE item, and so had to rummage through his covers for another cover for signing, getting Dufus to do the same).

Shirt was first, getting the cover for the first disc of ‘UNIT: Dominion’ signed, meaning that he had all four CD covers of the set signed by the actor shown on them. His additional item was ‘Cold Fusion’, the 5th/7th Doctor team-up novel adaption. Dufus got Sylvester on ‘Light at the End’ and another cover.

On leaving the main hall again, they joined the longest queue yet for India. This moved slowly, but both managed to pop out of the queue to get Matthew Waterhouse on his entire LE ‘Adric’ oeuvre, before rejoining. Shirt also managed to get John Dorney to sign a pile of covers as they passed him, as well as both popping out to get Jacob Dudman on audios in which he does not play the Doctor.

Finally, they reached India, who happily signed covers from Charley’s multiple LE appearances, including Eighth Doctor audios, Sixth Doctor audios, her own series, and ‘Light at the End’. She spoke of how she was feeling old, being repeatedly told by attendees how long it had been since they had last seen her (it had been three years for Shirt, and almost thirteen years for Dufus).

They then joined a long queue for Lisa Bowerman, which again moved slowly, and which seemed to have joined with a queue for Nicholas Briggs, who had just started signing for his only autograph session of the day. However, as they passed the sales area, Shirt managed to get Joseph Lidster’s signature on three ‘Torchwood’ audios. Finally, they reached the front, where Lisa greeted them as the old friends that they are. She then scolded Shirt for not waiting to see her after she had seen him attending a workshop performance of a play that she was in in a pub theatre close to the Court where he works, a few months before.

“I saw that a lot of your friends from LE were in the row behind me, and I didn’t want to impose”, stuttered Shirt, promising to wait if he attended the new version of the play.

Having got Lisa on all of the Season boxsets that were released following the individual releases and on the three most recent boxsets, Shirt moved off. Seeing that Matt Fitton was again standing at a signing table, Shirt rummaged through his covers, looking up to see that Matt had walked off again.

Dufus meanwhile was struggling to take a selfie with Ms. Bowerman, finally succeeding on the third attempt.

Both agreed that it was not worth joining Nicholas Briggs’ queue, and Sophie Aldred had finished signing downstairs. They therefore went back into the main hall to watch the final panel – Sophie and Matthew Waterhouse. This concluded, it was time for the goodbyes from all the guests, and the convention came to an end.

Returning to the car, they found themselves stuck in a traffic jam leaving Derby, but finally managed to speed back to Dufus, stopping as close to the nearby Chinese restaurant as they could. Having partaken of a meal for two, they drove the short distance back to Dufus’, where they watched some television, and Dufus returned some of his covers to their cases.

The next morning, due to watching a ‘Pointless Celebrities’ recorded the previous evening, they left slightly later than intended, speeding through the countryside to get Shirt to Newark Station in time for his 12.03pm train. Getting there with 10 minutes to spare, they garbled goodbyes, and Shirt made his way to the appropriate platform. The train was two minutes late, but Shirt was soon settling down to listen to ‘The Quantum Possibility Engine’, featuring the audio return of MDW comic strip villain, Dogbolter, and musing on another brilliant weekend with Dufus.

[PL]