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Top 10 Lists
Top 10 Things to do at the Mall
Top 10 Ways to Keep Your Coworkers Away From You
Top 10 Ways to Frighten Your Co-Workers
10. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
9. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.
8. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.
7. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
6. Point at the screen. Chant in a made-up language while making
elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
5. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
4. Sneak up behind some engrossed in their work screaming, "DISK FIGHT!!!" and bop them on the head with a disk.
3. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to
you evilly.
2. Get a pair of 3-d glasses. Wobble around while walking and keep
yelling, "Whoa, that looked so real!"
1. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop
and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
Top 10 Things to do in a Mall
10. At the bottom of the escalator, scream "My shoelaces!! AAAGH!!"
9. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed.
8. Ask the saleswoman whether a particlar shade of panties matches the color of your beard.
7. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with you own bottle of Eau de Swanke.
6. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.
5. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.
4. Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of the are "leak proof".
3. Ask the appliance personnel if they have any T.V.'s that play only in German.
2. Try on pants backwards at the Gap and ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
1. Show people your driver's license and demand to know whether they've seen this man.
Top 10 Ways To Keep Your Coworkers Away From You
10. Name all your pens and insist that meetings can't begin until they're all present.
9. Schedule meetings for 4:14 PM.
8. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers or tape dispensers.
7. "Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since you did this.
6. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive".
5. When co-worker walks by motion him over, lean forward as if you are about to say something then go back to work.
4. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
3. Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathroom."
2. Include a personal note on every email that you send.
"On a personal note, I'm feeling a bit tired and grumpy today."
"On a personal note, I'm pleased to announce that I got my highest
score ever on Tetris last night."
1. Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore."
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