Mullet Militia

TRAINING

The mullet Militia is a highly selective unit charged with the protection of the Mulligarchy, that is the Royal Family of Mullet. The Mullet Militia has evolved over the years since its meager beginings in Warsaw. A new Tri-Level training program has been instituted to assure that only the most capable mullet-heads are admitted to this unit. As indictated, there are three components of this training; Physical Fitness, Mental Fitness and Loyalty to the Mullet.

PHYSICAL FITNESS

In order to become a candidate for the Mullet Militia, one must be successful at hand to hand combat. This is a requirement due the increasing complexity of firearms, which are now beyond the scope of mullet based operation. The candidate has their choice as training methods, however, one course in particular has come into favor: WWF. As one might observe, the WWF is full of mullets, this is due in part to the mezmerizing quality of their fancy outfits. The candidate often signs with the WWF and creates a kick-ass name and persona, and wrestles other would-be mullets to determine combat prowess. The persona is an often overlooked area, but it is essential for mullet heads. The persona enables the mullet militia to distinguish themselves from other militia types. It is also a way to differentiate the status of a particular militia member. When first entering training, the candidates are issued a pair of tights and little else. As they gain noteriety and cash, they are encouraged to spend it on accesories such as feathers, boots and the occasional Boa-constrictor! Only the most outrageous WWF men are chosen.

MENTAL FITNESS

This category is indeed printed on the Militia's borchure, but not really a requirement. As long as the candidate can scrawl an "X" they are deemed competent and given a blank piece of paper, cap & gown.

LOYALTY

This requirement is based on the ability of the candidate to differentiate the "good guys" (ones with mullets) from the
"BAD GUYS"(those without mullets). Secondly, the Mullets must be able to wave a flag and scream "You suck!".

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I am not qualified for the Militia... yet.