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Degrassi doesn't really have anything to do with animal
rights except for that they did an episode on animal testing. However, this 80s show was hilarious, and just 100% pure
cheese, but in a good way, and that's why it rules.
Here's some profiles, on some of the characters of Degrassi
High and Juniour High. You know you love this show.
Joey
Jeremiah: He was the most popular kid in Degrassi and the coolest. The main reason why Joey was so cool was
because of his fedorah. No one else could pull that off and be so cool. Joey was friends with Snake and Wheels
and they had a band called the Zit Remedy (later the Zits) that only played 1 song. It was a good song though and they
even made a video of it. Joey had some learning disorder and so he had to repeat the 8th grade. He also dated
Caitlin but she had that skunk hair thing going on and then she dumped him for Claude, the high schooler who looked like he
was 40. The funniest thing Joey did was streak the cafeteria naked with only his Fedorah. His bum was really
white.
 Snake:
His real name was Archie Simpson. He was the tallest kid at Degrassi and his brother was gay. He played bass in
the Zit Remedy. His 1st girlfriend was Melanie but that never worked out because she couldn't afford the $20 to go to
a concert with him. Then he started liking Michelle and he ended up going to the prom with her. Snake was traumatized
the day he found Claude's dead body in the school washroom. The principal didn't believe him so he was forced to go
back and show him. AAAH! How much can a guy take?
 Wheels:
He was the biggest loser at Degrassi, after Claude. He was only cool because he was friends with Joey, but he was
always a loser at heart. After his parents died in a car crash, he went crazy. He stole money from Joey's
mom, and ran away from his grandma. He also briefly dated Stephanie Kay, aka the Degrassi hooker, but they didn't go
out anymore because he bought condoms from her mother. She didn't like that. When he ran away from granny, Wheels
hitchhiked on the 401 and got picked up by some pedophile who started to feel him up on a deserted road. Wheels jumped
out of the car and held up a rock in defense to keep the pervert away. I always wondered why he didn't throw the damn
rock. Later on, Wheels hit some kid while drunk driving and then no one liked him.
Melanie: Here's
Melanie looking at her chest. She got self concious after Joey told her that she was so flat the walls were jealous.
Then when she bought a bra with L.D and people still made fun of her "grapes". Poor girl. She had a crush on Snake
and Yick and a crush on her. When she did pot her friend Kathleene got mad at her because she blabbed about Kathleene's
anorexia. Melanie dressed like she was in the 50s, with some big, ugly pearls. Melanie was also a member of the
"Have-not Club", a club of girls who didn't have hickies...uh whatever.
Caitlin:
With the exception of the whole 'skunk hair', Caitlin was the most normal looking person on Degrassi. In Juniour High,
she had some creepy dreams about her teacher, and she thought she was a lesbian until the teacher told her that
it was normal to have those adolescent thoughts. Um...No it's not. I never had those freaky ass dreams. AKA
the Ice Princess, she was not a lesbian though and dated Joey on and off, but later dumped him for Claude. She
was also the 1st person to buy the Zit Remedy's cassette tape of their hit song. Caitlin later dumped Claude after
they both spray painted some building "No Nukes" and when they got caught, Caitling got stuck on the fence wires and Claude
left her there and ran away. Caitlin's best friend was Maya, the chick in the wheel chair and they had many
adventures together.
 Here is the lame-o, Claude, pronounced CL-OOOH-D. He was very fussy about that, which
was another reason to hate him. Claude was the ugliest guy on Degrassi by far and he liked to wear Monica Lewinsky burets
because he thought he was a poet or something. I mean come on, people are supposed to look better when they smile but
his face just looks worse! He came on the series in Degrassi High, when he hit on Caitlin on her 1st day of high school.
He had a stupid looking ponytail and a leather jacket (BOO FOR LEATHER), and he dressed bad, even for the 80s. After
Caitlin dumped him (see above), he got really depressed and decided to kill himself at school. He took a gun and wrapped
it in a kitchen cloth, as if no one would be able to tell what it was in a cloth. Anyways, he then went to the bathroom
and shot himself in the stall. What makes him more of an idiot is that before he walked the plank, he wrote Caitlin
a stupid letter to try to make her feel as if his death was her fault. UUUGH!!! Claude wins the title of "most hated
Degrassi character". Congrats Claude, where ever you are.
 Liz: Liz was Spike's best friend throughout
school. She has to be one of the contenders for ugliest hair at Degrassi. Who the hell did that to her hair? If
I was her I would sue the pants of that damn hairdresser. Joey Jeremiah hit on Liz in juniour high and he
even bought condoms because he said she "looked like she wanted it". I just think she looked like trash but
who knows. In Degrassi High, we learn that Liz was molested by her step dad when she was little but by that time no
one really cared anymore. Too bad.
LD: I hate LD so much
but I had to add her because that just means I have more to say about her. She was the chick with the annoying lisp.
She was butt ugly too and Lucy even gave her a make over but LD just ended up looking like a hooker or something and she took
the make up off. LD was on the swim team in juniour high and that was when she helped Melanie shop for a bra.
LD was also friends with Lucy Fernandez, but she got mad when Lucy got a boyfriend and didn't pay attention to her anymore
and LD was always asking "Luthy why don't you come to my thoccer games anymore!?". In High school LD got cancer and
Lucy sent her videos of her life, making LD jealous. She also had a secret crush on Wheels, meaning those antibiotics
must of went to her head.
Kathleen: She was best friends with Melanie
and she had a pretty crappy life although she was known in school for being the only one with a VCR. First she was anorexic
and then she went psycho because her and Melanie's science fair project only got an honourable mention. Her mother was
also an alcoholic, and she even hit her while she was drunk. In High School, Kathleen's life got worse when
the guy she was dating who looked like he could be old enough to be a teacher, started beating her. He beat her black
and blue until she got a restraining order against him. She had tried to leave him before but he kept on sending her
flowers and then she would look longingly into the picture of the 2 of them. After that ordeal passed, a few episodes
later, Kathleen found some weed in the tampon machine at school that Luke had hidden. She took it to Melanie's sleepover
party and her and Diana and Maya all got stoned causing them to giggle a lot and Melanie to reveal Kathleen's part anorexia.
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