(Orlando, FL) -- National Wrestling Alliance
World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Jarrett is his own worst enemy. Literally.
According to a poster leaked by top wrestling
website Wrestling4ever.geocities.com/news/index2.shtml, the main event of Total Nonstop Action's upcoming "Holy Communion"
pay-per-view will feature Jeff Jarrett vs. Jeff Jarrett.
"The only person in TNA that can provide
Jeff Jarrett with any real competition is Jeff Jarrett," said That Creepy James Earl Jones Knockoff Who Does Voiceovers
For Every Fucking TNA Promo. "At Holy Communion, will Jeff Jarrett have finally met his match in Jeff Jarrett?"
Jeff Jarrett is known in TNA as "The King
Of The Mountain" because of his victories over wrestlers such as Ron "The Truth" Killings, A.J. Styles, Christian
Cage, Rhino, Raven, Christopher Daniels, Kevin Nash, Team Canada, America's Most
Wanted, all three members of Team 3-D, two Turtle Doves and A Partridge In A Pear Tree.
On the third day of Christma… oh,
sorry. Got sidetracked there…
A source in Orlando reveals that Jeff Jarrett,
wanting to help build a generation of younger stars, will give the "rub" to Jeff Jarrett by allowing him to go over himself
at the pay-per-view. However, Jeff Jarrett has final say over all creative decisions involved with his character, so Jeff
Jarrett could end up doing the job.
Nonetheless, Jeff Jarrett is set to show
up in the Impact Zone for the group's next television taping, vowing to "rid TNA of the cancer that is Jeff Jarrett." Jeff
Jarrett will then challenge Jeff Jarrett to a match at the PPV.
Above: A surveillance photo
taken inside the Impact Zone (cleverly disguised to look like something Canadian Bulldog could have composed on MS Paint)
shows Jeff Jarrett practicing his upcoming match against Jeff Jarrett.
"This is completely unprecedented!" said
TNA commentator Don West, who apparently didn't realize he was giving an interview to World Wrestling Insanity News
and instead thought he was hyping the match on television. "Never before in the history of our industry has one wrestler main-evented
a pay-per-view against himself!!!
"Unless, um, you count that Undertaker
thing, I guess."
Still, the TNA angle has one twist to it
that the 1994 World Wrestling Federation storyline didn't. According to a message board at tnaunlimited.lycos.tripod.com/forums,
a third Jeff Jarrett will arrive in TNA, initially siding with Jeff Jarrett, but then turning on him and forming a hasty alliance
with Jeff Jarrett.
"Imagine the possibilities!" West screamed,
sweating right though his faux silk shirt. "One-on-one matches! Three way matches! Handicap matches! This will give us enough
material to last into the summer of '07!
"This is exactly the type of fresh, outside-the-box
thinking that will put TNA on the map."
-30-
