Disclaimers:Characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc.
, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and a bunch of people who
aren’t me.
"Into the Woods" and "West Side Story" lyrics belong
to Stephen Sondheim.
Story belongs to Alexandra Huxley
They brought his body out of the rainforest slowly, barely able to carry themselves. Their cadence was marked by chimes made of stone – a gentle sound on this rough, harsh path. A request was made, a body sacrificed; a prayer whispered into the wind.
Chapter 1
“Want bread. Want bread NOW!”
What the… The screaming, banging, and another noise – constant, blaring, mind-numbingly loud.
“Want…want…want…”
This must stop. Not screaming – shrieking. She couldn’t take it any more. She fought her way up; she felt weak and her head was throbbing. More noise. “Someone make it stop,” she thought. As usual, she was that someone. Groaning, she stood, barely registering the body beside her. “Why can’t it just be someone else for once?” She opened the door and walked down the dimly lit hallway.
It was more than shrieking, it was inhuman. What could be making that racket and why couldn’t it just let her sleep? She nudged the door open with her foot, senses alert – always – in case of attack. She peeked her head through the opening. The creature saw the movement and clambered to its feet. The screaming became less intense and she began to make out the figure against the bars.
Huh?
“Momma! Out! Out!”
O.k. Huh? Her feet propelled her across the room as her mind reeled through memories trying to place where she was; why she was here with this baby and why was it calling her…
“MOMMA! Now. Out”
Well, this was a creature she could handle – cuddly and gurgly and no icky smells yet.
She picked up the baby and it grabbed onto her. What warmth. A softness unlike any other being she had ever held. In the distance a bell rang. Well, maybe not so distant. It rang again. The baby jumped down and ran into the hallway yelling “hal-lo!” Buffy followed it down the staircase; at least one of them knew where they were going. The doorbell. Right. O.k., she thought, I’ll play.
She opened the door and was greeted with a gush of memories. Initiative. Walsh. Forrest. “Graham.”
“Hey, Buffy. Nice pajamas. How ya’ feeling?”
Yummy sushi pajamas – at least she remembered those. “Tired. Headache. Weird,” she said as he walked in.
“Yeah, it’s this damn flu that’s going around. Everyone’s got it.”
She looked out the front door as she closed it behind him. Nothing looked familiar but she knew it was hers. The baby came running around a corner with its arm raised in greeting. “Hi Gam!”
“Hey, kid. I came by to see how your mom and dad were feeling. We’ve been worried about them.”
Mom and dad? If she was supposed to be Mom, who was playing Dad?
The baby grabbed Graham’s hand and pulled him out of the room. Buffy followed them. She felt no fear, no doom, nothing bad. Confused, and a bit foggy, but no bad.
“Yeah, it’s to be expected what with that high fever and all.”
Oops. “Did I say that out loud?”
He laughed as he reached into the cabinet, pulling out a bowl and spoon for the baby.
“’Poon! K!”
“Special K it is.”
She just sat there at the table watching him take care of the baby. He seemed to know exactly what he was doing. She’d keep playing.
“Sorry to stop by so early, but I just wanted to check up on you on my way to work. Riley looked like hell last time I saw him. You look pretty tired yourself – are you sure you’re o.k.? I can take care of Eve if you want to sleep a bit more.”
Riley. Sick feeling in stomach. New subject. “Graham, shouldn’t I be taking care of, um, Eve?”
“Geez, Buffy. I’ve been trained to deal with hostile demons. I think I can handle one meal with a two year old.” He noticed Buffy’s eyes taking everything in. She was too alert, too calculating. “You look like shit. Go lie down. I can babysit.”
Nice to see you too, Graham. Fine. She was starting to feel foggy again anyway. She got up with a major head rush. Things seemed out of place but the flu does crazy things. Bed sounded good. She dragged her feet upstairs. Back to the room with the blaring noise.
Graham picked up the phone. “Hi there. It’s me. Just wanted to say I’ll be a bit late this morning. I’m over at Finn’s and I just sent Buffy back to bed. She’s not looking so good.”
There was no voice on the other end, but he could hear it through the earpiece. “Good job, Miller. She’s back upstairs. You’re clear.”
He checked to be sure. “It’s just that this is so weird. She seemed a little too with it. I’m worried she’ll start asking questions.” He hated covert ops. Give him a hostile and he’d come out swinging, but this was another thing entirely.
“You’ve trained for this. It’ll get easier. Finn will make it easy.” Brown’s voice was reassuring.
“You think she bought it? The baby and everything?” He looked over at the high chair.
“It’s too soon to tell. We’re working out the kinks. We’ll need to wait until the meds wear off and then we’ll know better. But so far, so good. Focus on the mission and you’ll do fine.”
He hung up the phone and sighed. Had to remember to always be talking on the phone; make it look real. Forrest had been the expert at this, but it had been over a year now and Graham had grown. He’d managed on his own and he would get through this too.
Blaring noise. It must stop. Someone must stop it now. As usual, he was that someone. He reached his arm over to shut off the alarm. Every muscle ached. It exhausted him but at least it was quiet. Blessedly quiet. He could hear his little sister babbling away off in the distance somewhere. Dad must be off in the fields by now. He should get up; the sun was already out. Dad would be furious. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, or at least tried to. Everything was moving so slowly; he could practically hear his brain tell the nerves in his legs to move into sitting position. His head was so foggy. Shake it off, get dressed, get moving. His head throbbed as he lifted it to look around the room. No, he wasn’t in Huxley. And it smelled too good to be Lowell House. So where?
He looked up as the door opened. She had always been so beautiful, even in those ridiculous pajamas. More mind tricks. He tried to shake off the image. Where the hell was he?
“Riley.” The vision spoke. She seemed surprised to see him here. “You doing o.k.?”
“Been better.”
“Kind of like a truck hit you? Me too.” She came over to him.
He lifted his hand to her forehead. She was real. Don’t ask how, just go with it. He had never felt anything as soft as the strand of hair that fell across her face. His hand was shaking.
She took his hand and steadied it. “I guess this is some pretty nasty flu. Graham’s taking care of Eve. It’s sleepytime.” She climbed into the bed and eased him down next to her.
He felt so weak and everything was clouded. He was asleep before the words were out of her mouth.
Chapter 2
“Hey Giles! When did you get in? I didn’t realize you’d be here.” Willow came into the magic shop and gave Giles a hug.
“This morning. Just tying up a few loose ends. How are you? How are classes going?”
“O.k. I’m getting back into things.” Willow waved at Anya. “I came to return these books; I guess I don’t need them anymore.”
Giles took the books and put them behind the counter. “Any idea where Buffy is? We were supposed to have lunch today.” Although Buffy had been known to forget about lunch dates, he’d thought it would be different now that he was back in England. His visits would most likely be few and far between.
“We were at the Bronze a couple of nights ago. One of the Initiative guys was there and she said she was going to make him buy her a drink.” Willow hadn’t been entirely happy about it; it had been the first time they had gone out just for fun in a long time. They both needed it. And she was so not happy about Buffy drinking with Graham. The whole Initiative thing still bothered her; she loved Riley but she didn’t trust his friends.
“Didn’t they clear out of town after all that mess?”
“They come and go. Must still have some secret base somewhere in Sunnydale.”
“What a terrible idea,” Giles said. “Did she find out anything about Riley?”
Willow dropped her bag on the counter and made a sad face. “I don’t know. They were still talking when I left. I gave up after about half an hour.”
Anya had come over while they were talking. “And you say I’m rude.”
“She wasn’t being rude…” Willow had been a bit hurt, and if it had been about anything else, she would have made more of an issue of it. But Willow missed Riley and if Graham had any information, Buffy would get it out of him. “Anyway, she left a message on the machine, but I haven’t talked to her since. I’ve been in class all day; she may be home by now.”
Giles picked up the phone and dialed Buffy’s number. “Dawn? Hi, it’s Giles…Yes. Is she in by any chance? Oh. She called… Oh, good…Graham? Yes, he’s one of Riley’s friends. Willow knows him…I’m sure she’s fine. Did she leave a number? No, I didn’t think so…” He raised his eyebrows at Willow. “Yes, she’s here. Do you want to speak with her?” He handed the phone to Willow and waited for her to hang up.
Willow looked up at Giles. “So she’s still with Graham. I guess he had some good stuff after all.” She didn’t look convinced.
“What did her message say the other night?”
“Just that she probably wouldn’t be home that night and not to worry.”
“According to Dawn, the message today was that there’s new information about Riley that she’s looking into and she’d be home late. She didn’t leave a number.”
“I guess that sounds o.k. then. If Graham has information about Riley…” Buffy still hadn’t told Willow much about Riley. One day he was just gone. Xander had been the one who finally told her what happened.
“Have you been patrolling for her?” Willow and Anya both looked down at the floor. “Well, then. I guess I can do it tonight. Anya – can you and Xander join me?” Giles was glad that Buffy had at least called in, but she should have called him too. “Call me if you hear from her tonight. I’ll be at my flat; the phone’s still hooked up. I’m sure she’s fine, but I’ll feel better when one of us actually talks to her.”
This time when she woke up, things were much clearer. She felt lightheaded; like her body wasn’t connected to her brain. Her head only hurt in a dull, achy kind of way. Progress. No screaming and no blaring alarm. Definitely progress. Time to patrol.
She got out of bed and went to the window. It was dark but the street lamp shed light up and down the street of darkened houses. The moon was high – a werewolf’s moon. She turned from the window and looked at the room. Not a bad room. Just your typical bedroom with a hottie in the bed. No big bads under it or in the closet, though there were a couple of really scary dust bunnies.
Moving on, she went into the hall and turned towards the baby’s room. She pushed the door open quietly and watched a minute as Eve’s chest rose and fell. No monsters here either. What exactly was she looking for? She continued down the hallway opening doors and going through rooms. A bathroom, a closet, another bedroom. Pictures in the hallway and on the wall as she went down the stairs. A picture of Dawn with Eve as an infant. Xander and Willow and Anya and Giles getting the shop ready for its opening. Her and Riley on their wedding day. Riley, Forrest and Graham all suited up. Wait, go back. Her wedding day?
She reached out to adjust the picture, but it wasn’t crooked. It just seemed wrong. “Wind Beneath My Wings” started running through her head. She couldn’t have actually had them play that song, could she have? She glanced back at the pictures as she continued on. She hadn’t been this out of it since she was in the hospital and seeing monsters. Of course, that monster had been real…
Downstairs now. Kitchen, same. Living room, normal. Another bathroom…laundry room… dining room. Your typical Joe Normal house. Something was off, but it wasn’t the decorating. A quick look at the basement assured her that there was nothing lurking in the shadows other than a punching bag and a bunch of boxes. Everything was in its place. Enough exploring for tonight. Back to bed.
The man watching the monitor stood up as Graham entered the room. “Sir.”
“At ease, soldier.”
“Ripley, sir.”
“Ripley. You’re the new tech guy? Nice set-up here, huh? What’s going on in there?”
“She just took a walk around the house but it looks like she’s going back to bed.”
“Any missing person calls?” The techies had rigged up phone messages using Buffy’s vocal scans from the Initiative days. Graham didn’t think they would hold anyone off for too long, but it would give them a little leeway.
“Nothing yet. We’ll keep an eye out.”
“Ok. Take fifteen. I’ll cover for you.” Graham sat down in front of the screen as Ripley left the room. He watched Buffy climb into the bed and take Riley’s hand in hers.
Graham hadn’t realized how hard it would be to see them together again like this. Things weren’t supposed to turn out this way. They should be out there on the front lines together. They had been a kick ass team. Unstoppable. Those were good times – the frat house, the Bronze… Man, did he miss those guys.
He hadn’t seen Forrest in the end but Riley had told him enough about it that he was glad not to have that vision in the memory banks. Seeing Riley carried out of the jungle had been bad enough. Swollen, bloody, bruised, and broken. If it weren’t for the embedded i.d. chip, Graham wouldn’t have believed it was him.
Graham hadn’t been able to get anything out of the men who had carried him out. Hell, they were barely alive themselves. Definitely not in any condition to be carrying Riley’s body. But they refused to leave him to be buried alongside the demons. When he died, they would give him a proper burial in hallowed ground; it would only be a matter of days.
It had taken everything Graham had to convince them to let him take Riley. They had been the ones who called Graham, who told him Riley was alive. But it had been out of respect for Riley, not because they thought he could be saved. And it was only after Graham explained that the helicopter and the medics on it were Riley’s only chance of survival that they had finally agreed to release the body to him. And Graham may not have been the only one who realized that it wasn’t just beads of sweat dripping down his face.
The medical team had been Initiative and they brought the body back here, to the labs at Sunnydale. Graham knew how Riley felt about the government doctors but he didn’t know what else to do; he just wanted Riley back. The Army, of course, had other motives. Graham wasn’t sure what they were yet, but for now they were keeping Riley alive and that was enough for him. He’d take it one step at a time…
Riley had always loved this time of morning - the sky still dark but with a promise of light. His Dad always said Riley was the only kid who would happily take the first chores of the day. He didn’t mind the work and it was good to be out there with Dad, but oh, how he loved the sunrise.
For some reason this sunrise felt special. He hadn’t appreciated one in a long time. And he relished the quiet. This was a good quiet. No need to be alert for hostile footsteps or enemy fire. The banging in his head had finally stopped. Everything still hurt but he was starting to feel human again. He still wasn’t sure where he was but he felt safe. Something wasn’t right but he trusted his instincts enough to tell him when he was in danger and there didn’t seem to be any immediate threat.
He shifted his head and saw her lying there. She was really here in his bed holding his hand. So it wasn’t just a dream.
It was an effort to move. Every muscle screamed as he traced the tips of his fingers down her shoulder, across the curve of her breast, down her side. Watched her react to his touch. The pain became more bearable. He was still burning up inside, but at least some of the fire was friendly. He wanted more – ached for it. But no. Not yet.
His eyes scanned the room. In the gray light he could make out the furniture. He saw his sweatshirt draped over the back of a chair. Combat boots sitting in the corner behind the t.v.; vitamins on the bedside table; nerf hoop hanging on the closet door. These were definitely his things, so it must be his room, but he had no memory of being here before.
What was his last conscious memory? Nothing came to the surface. He had vague memories of battles and demons and stakes and vampires, but details were out of reach. He remembered he was military. There, that was something. And, Buffy. He most definitely remembered Buffy. But as beautiful as some of those memories were, there was something he couldn’t name. Something just beyond reach that unsettled him. He shook it off. Whatever it was, she was here now; he’d hold on to that.
The sun was beginning to peek in through the window. He knew he should do something to get his body moving – get up, go for a run, but just wracking his brain had exhausted him. Maybe that was enough for now. Or almost enough. He needed to touch her again. He reached out to Buffy and pulled her into his arms. He fell asleep holding her.
“Almost ready, Miller. We’re just waiting for Dr. Green and then we can proceed.”
Graham nodded and got into position. In theory, this had seemed a good idea, but standing there and talking to Buffy had been so real. He was nervous about talking to Riley. Had to put the image of Riley’s body out of his head or he wouldn’t be able to do it. He was having major misgivings. This was turning out to be much more real – much harder – than he had expected. Who were they – hell, who was he – to play God. He should have let Riley die in the jungle. Die a hero and rest in peace.
Thinking too much, too late. Focus. It had made such sense to him then. Had been so simple to put in motion. Riley may have been accused of treason by some when the Initiative went down, but any doubts people had had been erased ten-fold after Belize. “High risk, low pay and seriously messy,” they had said. No guarantee of making it back. But when Riley came out on the other end, nobody could say they were surprised. His vital signs had been non-existent when they got him to the chopper but the Army sent the best doctors in when they heard who it was and somehow they managed to keep him alive. He had been in the jungle for five months and then spent the next seven on a hospital bed. The broken bones had healed and his scars were no longer angry red marks, but the doctors still couldn’t bring him back. The only explanation they could give was that his body was willing but his spirit was gone.
Graham remembered being called to come back to Sunnydale. He had sat at a table with Green next to him and three more doctors on the other side and had listened to hours of clinical reports about Riley’s condition. After three months, everything was working the way it should but they were still losing him. They needed something…a spark.
Buffy.
Graham had thought of her on occasion. He had always liked her; had liked Riley around her. But things got too dark and Riley was self-destructing. Graham couldn’t let it happen and he had pushed Riley to come back. Semper fi, buddy, semper fi. But it had already been too late and once they got to the jungle it was clear that the Iowa farm boy had been left far behind. The destruction had already begun and it was a different Riley who stepped off the transport. Hard and cold. Like a vampire, except fighting for the right side.
Buffy had done that. At times Graham thought Forrest had been right. Too much Slayer, not enough soldier. But Graham knew why Riley’s spirit hadn’t been fighting to live; it was already gone. Graham had seen it die the night they left. He had seen Riley’s eyes go cold as they lifted. And the time never seemed right to tell Riley that he had seen her there. She had come.
And so, when they sat Graham down, all these months later, and told him what was needed, he had known what had to be done.
They didn’t want her. Many still blamed her and her band of “freaks” for destroying the Initiative and turning Riley. But Graham reminded them again that she had saved so many that night, that she had called them when it was necessary, that she would come through. The compromise was to use her but to control her. And the only way to do that, as they had learned the hard way, was to neutralize her.
He had hated doing it. As he sat there each night in the Bronze, waiting for her to show, he had to remind himself that it was for Riley. He tried to convince himself that Buffy would be doing the same thing if she were in his place, but he knew it wasn’t true. And when she finally noticed him sitting there, he almost walked out the door. But he had come too far. So he tossed back his shot and smiled at her and bought her some drinks and answered her questions as best he could. It took awhile for the drugs to work, but when they finally did he watched her fall asleep in his arms. And then he turned her over to the whitecoats and got himself smashed.
“Miller! Come back to us. Time to move.”
Play ball.
Chapter 3
Riley woke up an hour later with Buffy still in his arms. He inhaled deeply and drank in her scent. The smell was so sweet, like the air after spring’s first rainfall. He didn’t want to let go of her but it was time to get his body moving again. He needed to be up.
He eased out of bed and tentatively stretched his arms over his head. He wouldn’t be running any marathons, but maybe he could try a quick jog. Sweatpants, socks, sneakers, t-shirt. He opened the door and walked into the hallway. He turned into the next room to get the baby.
Get the baby?
“Dad-dee!”
He stopped in the doorway. This wasn’t right. Something didn’t make sense.
“Dad-dee! Run now?”
He walked over and picked her up out of the crib.
“Di-per!”
Umm, o.k. He brought her to the changing table. Demon goo had nothing over a nasty diaper. But his Mom hadn’t raised any slackers. It may have been Dad’s job to teach them how to run a farm, but Mom thought they should all know how to run a house. A man could change a diaper just as easily as a woman.
“Ouch!” If a baby’s kick could sting like that then he definitely wasn’t back to normal yet. “O.k. kid; we’re done.” He put her down and she ran out the door. He followed her down the stairs and she led him to a stroller in the back hall. “Alright. Let’s suit up.” He put her sweatshirt and hat on and strapped her in. He maneuvered out the back door as a car pulled up in front of the driveway. Graham stepped out.
“You’re looking better,” said Graham.
“Yeah. It’s good to be back in the land of the living again,” said Riley.
Graham’s smile faltered. If only you knew. “You think you’re up to a run?”
“Gotta start somewhere.”
“Can we talk?”
Riley wasn’t happy Graham was here, but he couldn’t figure out why. “Yeah, if you want to run.” He started slowly, ignoring the signals his body was sending with every step. Think about something else. “So talk.”
“I just wanted to see how you’re feeling. A lot of the guys are out sick, but you got it worse than anyone.”
Riley looked at Graham. Major déjà vu. “You need something from me?”
Riley was being a little more direct than Graham had hoped, but at least he didn’t seem as focused as Buffy had in the kitchen the previous morning. Keep it together, Graham, you can do this. “We’ve got some stuff we need taken care of. I came by to see if you were up to it yet.”
Riley looked down at Eve in the stroller. He looked around at the perfectly groomed lawns. They seemed out of place. He felt his tension building. “Very convincing.”
What? Graham kept his eyes on the road ahead of him. That hadn’t been the answer he was expecting. “Hey there, maybe your fever was a bit higher than I thought. You sure you’re o.k.?”
“No good, Graham.” Wrong answer.
Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Riley was supposed to be the easy one. All that military training should have kicked in by now. “What’s going on, man?”
Riley stopped running and turned his head. Two men were standing there. Graham was taking him somewhere he didn’t want to go. “You sure you got the fix for it?”
Graham was totally confused. This conversation was making no sense. He looked up just in time to catch the movement and avoid the punch coming at him. “Riley!”
Riley’s eyes were darting around him. “Where’d they go? Where did those guys go?”
What was he talking about? “Riley!” Riley’s eyes wouldn’t focus. He wasn’t there. Graham grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him against a tree. “Riley! Agent Finn!”
Riley tried to focus, calm down. He felt a rage from somewhere deep inside. Graham was still holding him back. Deep breath. Riley held his hands up. “We’re good.” Graham let go and Riley bent over, still leaning against the tree and resting his hands on his knees. He was trying to catch his breath. “We’re good.” He straightened up, walked back to Eve’s stroller and started running again. Graham waited a minute and then followed him.
They ran in silence for awhile before Riley finally spoke. “Sorry. I was out of line. I guess I’ve been cooped up for a little too long. Makes me crazed.”
Graham’s mind was reeling. It was hard enough to be here with Riley as though everything were normal. The attack had taken him completely off guard. “Apology accepted.” Graham looked at Riley. “You o.k.?”
Riley’s laugh sounded bitter. He looked at Eve; thought of Buffy at home in his bed. “My life is perfect. Why wouldn’t I be o.k.?”
“What the hell was that?!” Graham slammed open the door as he entered the conference room. “What the HELL just happened?”
“We don’t know. We screwed up somewhere. We’re working on it,” Green said.
“No shit you screwed up.” Graham was fuming.
“Easy, Miller. Yelling isn’t going to get a damn thing done,” Ellis said as he watched Graham and the doctor glare at each other across the table. Agents Brown and Ripley looked on. “We’ve put a lot into this operation and we are not going to let it fall apart. So, Doc, what happened?”
“The memory plant didn’t take.”
“English, please.” Graham was still seething.
“We’ve been able to suppress Buffy’s memories from the past year and begin replacing them with five years’ worth of new ones. It seems to be working on her. But it looks like Riley has rejected the new memories. We don’t know why. We thought that the coma would work in our favor, that his brain would just accept the orders we’re giving it. But maybe the opposite is true. Maybe his brain is so focused on keeping the body alive that it’s not letting anything else in. Or maybe we completely misjudged his emotional state before he left for Belize. Those are the best theories I can give. There’s no research to fall back on.”
“Can you fix it?” Ellis asked.
“We think so. We’ll know within the next hour. So far he seems to have accepted the house, the baby, Buffy’s presence – he may have questions, but he hasn’t rejected everything. That’s a good sign.” He turned back to Graham. “Did something like that ever happen? Did he ever attack you like that?”
That day on the basketball court. The day of Riley’s surgery. “Yes. Right before the doctor fixed his heart.”
“Within a few hours?”
Graham nodded.
“And that’s important because…?” asked Brown.
Green responded, “It’s the last thing we wanted them to remember – right before things went bad between them. We picked a point when they were still happy together – give them something to build on. The new memories we implanted bring them forward from that point. Once they accept the implants, we ease back on the suppression levels and let events from the last year return.”
Ellis nodded. “So we can learn more about Belize.”
“Right.”
“How do the memories return?”
“It’s not actually returning; the memories are still there, but they’re deeply buried. They may have a vague recollection of something happening but it would be closer to a déjà vu than a memory. Something would have to remind them of a particular event before they can recall it; and even then, it wouldn’t be entirely clear.”
Graham said, “So when I showed up…”
“Something reminded him of that conversation, maybe something you said or even just a look. That plus the fact that there was no buffer because of the failed implant? To him it was as though no time had elapsed since that moment.”
Graham shook his head angrily. “Brilliant. Fucking brilliant.”
“Shut it, Miller.” Emotions were too high for Ellis’ blood. “Miller, Brown, Ripley - you are dismissed. Get some breakfast. Report back in an hour. We’ll come at this again later.”
Graham started to say something but thought better of it. The Major was right. He was way too charged to get anything accomplished right now. He needed a clear head. “Later.”
After they had gone, Ellis and Green glared at each other. Green spoke first. “You need to keep him under control or this isn’t going to work.”
“Graham is a good soldier. He held his own in an unbelievable situation. One that should never have happened,” said Ellis.
“I expect a bit more from the Initiative men…”
“And you’re getting it. But this is a major mind fuck. He’s taking punches from a dead man.”
“He’s been training for this for months; he should be handling it better.”
“He’s been training on the virtual reality program for months. He’s been interacting with sales clerks and crossing guards, getting a feel for the machine. That doesn’t exactly prepare him for seeing his friend on life support one minute and then putting on a suit and going out for a run together the next. Cut him a break.”
“Fine. But you do the same for my men. We’re in totally uncharted territory. They’re working around the clock to create an alternate reality. We’ve never done anything like this before. No one has. We have no idea how this is going to work; I’m just hoping to keep Finn and the girl alive long enough to get this done.”
“Are their lives really in danger?”
Green took his time responding to Ellis’ question. “I honestly don’t know. We lost some sub-terrestials in some of our earlier experiments, but we had a very limited understanding of their physiology. Physically, they should be fine, but I don’t know how their brains will react. We’re playing with their minds, suppressing some memories, creating others. I’m not expecting any long-term effects, but there are no guarantees, especially given Finn’s medical history. My bigger concern is how long the implanted memories will last. Once Finn starts focusing on Belize, his brain may start rejecting anything we’ve inserted. If he realizes that none of this is real? I just can’t predict how he’ll respond and what that will mean.” He took off his glasses. “This is the first time we’ve done this with human subjects; everything is theory. I wish I could be more definite, but I’m afraid that’s the best I can do.”
“So what happens next?”
“Despite these glitches, it’s going as well as we could hope. Buffy and Riley can each function independently within the program and interact with Graham, an outsider. The next test is how they relate to each other – whether or not they can have a sustained conversation through this medium. If they can do that, we’re good to go. Other than that, you tell me.”
“My orders are to find out about those last two months in Belize: how they survived as long as they did, how they destroyed the caves, how Finn made it out of the jungle. There’s some question if he had assistance – I’ve heard rumors about vampires, werewolves, other sub-t’s. I don’t know what I believe, but that’s what we’re here to find out. That’s our main focus anyway. The General also wants to know more about Summers. She’s apparently got some kind of super powers.” Green looked at Ellis in disbelief. “I know, I know. But Graham and some of the others have seen it firsthand and it’s documented in Walsh’s logs. As long as we have her hooked up to these machines, we need to get every reading we can.”
“Where does Miller fit in?”
“He was in Belize; he pulled Riley in on the mission. Riley trusts him. I trust him. He’ll be our voice in there, getting Finn to tell us what we want to know.”
“How much does he know about this project?”
“He knows it’s about Belize, but beyond that not much. What did you tell him when you brought him in a few months ago?”
“Just that Riley’s physical recovery had been excellent but that his brain wasn’t responding. That the virtual reality program may be a way to connect but we’d need something Finn felt strongly about to make it work. Miller helped us with the development of the back end of the program. He wanted to be up front with Summers but we didn’t think that would be a good idea.”
“I agree,” Ellis said, “but we’ll need to debrief him soon. How much time do you think we have?”
“Once Finn actually starts focusing on Belize? Completely unknown. I’d expect that as long as he’s thinking about Belize we’ll be fine. But once it’s done and his brain is free to think about where he is? It could be hours; a couple of days at the most. Once the memories start coming back we’ll start adjusting the sedation levels. Then we’ll hope that Graham was right; that having Buffy back in his life will be enough to jump start Finn’s brain and bring him back to us.”
“And Buffy? How long before she stops accepting this whole set-up?”
“It’s a little different with her. We’re not mining her brain for information, so there’s no reason for her to question anything. I don’t think we need to worry about her.”
Chapter 4
The sun was shining in the window and making it too hot under the covers. Her headache was finally gone. She stretched a bit and sat up. Everything seemed to be working right. She could hear voices down in the kitchen. Happy voices. She got up to join them.
As she came into the room, she saw Riley on his hands and knees disappearing around the corner of the center island. Eve came running around the other side, giggling hysterically. She was carrying a little plastic bowl and Cheerios were flying everywhere. “Da-dee, da-dee, no!” she squealed as she ran. His face appeared. His eyes were sparkling and he was reaching out to tickle her when he saw Buffy and stopped short.
He sat up, leaning his back against the cabinet door. “Mornin’.” He sounded hesitant.
“Hi there.” She had missed his smile. It had been so long since she had seen it. Well, maybe just a few weeks since they had both been so sick, but it had seemed like much longer. “How are you feeling?”
“Not totally better yet, but definitely human again. And hungry.”
“Breakfast I can do.”
Buffy went to the refrigerator and pulled out eggs and milk. Riley stood up, picked up Eve and put her in the high chair. “You don’t have to do that. I was about to start but Eve…she’s really cute.” He was still unsettled from earlier, but seeing Buffy helped. He came over to her and put his arms around her, put his mouth to her neck.
“Mmmmm.” She turned to him. “More kisses.”
His lips brushed her mouth and chills ran down her spine. He pulled back so he could see her face.
“Don’t stop,” she murmured and put her head to his chest.
He put his hands in her hair and tugged gently. “Let me look at you.”
She raised her eyes to his. “Why so serious? Is something wrong?” Did he sense it too? That something about this picture was off?
He put his finger to her lips to quiet her and just watched her for a moment. He didn’t belong here in this kitchen. With Buffy. “I can’t explain it… I don’t know… I almost hit Graham this morning…I…I guess I’m still a little out of it.” He looked around the room, cataloging every object. His eyes came to rest on Eve. “Can you believe she’s ours?”
Buffy’s gaze followed his. Eve was taking the Cheerios out of her bowl and putting them into her cup. “Isn’t that a bit crazy?” she asked.
“I guess we can make magic together after all,” he replied.
“You were the only one who ever doubted it.” She could feel him tense.
He closed his eyes and shook his head. She wasn’t going to make him feel like that again. “Buffy, don’t. Just…” Not now. Not here in this odd little paradise. He didn’t know why he was here but he accepted this gift, with whatever strings were attached. “Just savor this moment. Let us just be.”
“Much better,” Graham muttered.
“See? We can do something right,” Dr. Green said from behind him.
Graham turned from the monitor and faced Ellis across the table. “What now?”
“Green?”
“Well, now that we know that they can talk to each other -- touch each other -- we can get to work. Our job is to control the environment and start to provide triggers to release Finn’s memories. Graham, you’ll go in bringing a laptop. Tell him to report as much about Belize as possible. We don’t know how much time we’ll have to do this; so far their brains are functioning normally but there’s too much we don’t know.”
Ellis took over. “We want to know more about the demons, the caves. How they were able to get to the caves in the first place. Hell, how Finn managed to make it out of the jungle. Something weird went on after your team left Belize and we need to know what it was.”
So that was it. Graham had known that they would have pulled the plug on Riley by now if there weren’t something else they needed, but he hadn’t been sure what it was. It made perfect sense, of course. He had heard things among the men when he returned for Riley. That they fought alongside vampires; that vampires kept Riley alive. Graham hadn’t really paid attention, his focus had been on Riley, but now he wondered if it could have been true.
Graham knew there was still talk about Finn – with renewed respect after Belize, but there were definitely still questions. Finn’s body had been studied thoroughly for seven months; they knew he was clean. But some people said that no human could survive those injuries -- he must be one of them. The Undead. Graham wouldn’t hear it - couldn’t believe that of Riley; not him. Not even after all that had happened. He may have been consorting with the enemy, but the real Riley Finn was still in there. Somewhere. “So what do I need to know?”
One of Green’s assistants passed Graham a file, as Green spoke. “They know everything through Riley’s heart attack. It should seem to them as if that happened five years ago but the anger you saw appears to be a reflection of whatever he was feeling at that time.”
“You said that yesterday. Tell me something new.”
“We’re slowly implanting the created memories. We’ve just finished with the big ones – their wedding, buying their house, Eve’s birth – and are starting on the day to day stuff.”
“How do they know who Eve is? Or where the kitchen is, for that matter?”
“It’s like an equation. We create certain truths. ‘X’ equals Eve; ‘Y’ equals the house. They’re implanted in a different part of the brain and are just part of who Buffy and Riley are in this reality. They are just constructs that can be manipulated at our will.”
“Meaning you could change the color of the house?”
“Right, or Eve can throw a tantrum if things are getting a little out of control.”
“And the memories you created?”
“They’re like mini-movies. Created digitally and inserted carefully. We’re going slowly so we don’t overstress their systems. It’s all in that file.”
“And my job?”
“You’re the emcee. You gauge how they’re reacting to each other. You make sure he does the report; try to elicit as much about Belize as you can. At a certain point, the memories will start to flow freely. The question mark is how well integrated these will be with the stuff we’ve put there. They’ll realize Riley left, but they’ll have the new memories about subsequent events that should supercede the old ones.”
“What about reality?”
“We haven’t changed anything that’s happened in the last year, we’ve just added a few years and an ending to the story.”
“How do you know about what’s happened in Buffy’s life since she left?”
“She’s not exactly low-profile. We’ve been able to piece enough together to make it workable.”
“O.k. then. Let’s roll.”
Chapter 5
“Oh, poosh.” Willow frowned as she let the powder sift through her fingers.
“Should you be doing that?”
Willow looked up at Xander guiltily. “It’s not magic. Technically.”
“Could have fooled me.”
“I’m just trying to find Buffy’s aura. I’m getting worried.”
“Awww, c’mon. So she met some guy…” Whoever it was had to be better than Spike.
“It’s not the guy I’m worried about, it’s his friends. I just don’t trust those commando guys.”
“Hold on.” Xander dropped into the chair next to her. “Commando guys? Anya didn’t tell me Buffy went off with a commando guy. That is so not good.” He waved his hands in the air. “By all means, poof away.”
“Shhh!” Willow closed her eyes and threw the powder into the air above the candle.
Anya and Giles came down the stairs. Giles’ face clearly showed his displeasure. Anya said, “You’re not supposed to be doing that. Buffy would be mad.”
Willow opened her eyes. “Would you mind? I don’t know what else to do.” She looked at the powder floating above the flame. “Well, that’s a little weird.”
“What do you see?” Xander couldn’t see anything other than smoke and dust.
“I think she’s sleeping.” She didn’t sound convinced.
“O.k. And?”
“Well, her aura seems at peace. Kind of tight, but calm and peaceful.”
“At peace in a dead kind of way? Or in a ‘oooo, oooo, keep it coming big boy’ kind of way?”
“Xander!” Giles looked at him with exasperation.
Willow looked up at the others. “In a happy, dreamy kind of way.”
“Is she asleep?” Buffy asked Riley as he came into the living room.
“I think so. I put her down and she seemed to want me to leave her alone.”
Buffy was sitting on the floor putting Eve’s teddy bears into the basket. “Keeping up with a two year old is tough even for a Slayer.”
“Retired Slayer.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s right. How did I get away with that?”
“Because you wanted to make babies with a battered army guy.”
“No, really. Isn’t that weird that Travers just let me go like that?”
“Hmmm. Let me think. Old guy who’s been doing this forever meets young Slayer who makes his life hell for five years? I’m thinking maybe they welcomed the chance to groom a nice, new puppy-dog Slayer.”
Buffy looked at Riley suspiciously then glanced down quickly as his gaze met hers. Could he be in on this, whatever this was? Not Riley; not sweet Riley. Besides, he may have heard the stories about the Council, but he didn’t know Quenten Travers. He didn’t understand what Travers was capable of. The only way to retire from being a Slayer was to be, well, slain; the Council took that way seriously.
An image from her wedding appeared in her brain: her and Willow talking about babies. They had been joking about soccer moms vs. slayer moms when Giles had broken in and said, “Babies or Slayer? Pick one.” As if it were that easy.
In retrospect, it made no sense. Why wouldn’t Giles have told her that there was a way out? Maybe not in the beginning, but after they had been through so much together? After the Council fired him? Wouldn’t he have said something? And why would the Council make it so painless? They had put her through so many tests. Surely it wasn’t just a matter of a “+” on a pink stick.
For all she knew this whole thing was a test. The Council rigging up some alternate reality to see if she was worthy of retirement. But that wasn’t quite how they worked. They’d be in her face, front and center. And Riley could never go along with that.
Could he?
She looked up to find Riley watching her intently from the doorway. His smile came quickly, but didn’t quite reach his eyes. They were finally alone together for the first time that day. This wasn’t her imagination; she couldn’t keep ignoring the tension between them. She pushed herself up from the floor.
“So. You want to do something?” She walked over to where he was standing and leaned her shoulder against the wall. She was afraid to reach out to him. This was so not like her.
Riley was still angry and he couldn’t figure out if it had to do with Buffy or if he was just at odds with the universe today. He wasn’t normally quite so suspicious but he did think Graham and Buffy were both holding something back. It was almost as if something had happened and they were waiting for him to figure out what it was. He wanted to pull her to him but he hesitated. “I don’t know. I’m sure we could think of something.”
What was his deal today? She was getting irritated. Fine, Riley; you want to fight? “Did I do something to piss you…” The rest of her words were silenced as his lips were on hers. They were rough and passionate. He pushed her against the wall and held her there as he pressed against her. This was not nice guy Riley; this was his darker side. One she hadn’t seen in awhile. She liked it when Commando Finn came out to play. She wanted more. She put her arms around his neck and looked up at him. The look in his eyes was one she remembered from back when the Initiative was still in business – determined, take no prisoners.
He grabbed her shoulders as her hands moved to the small of his back and pulled at his shirt. She desperately wanted to feel him, taste him. He pulled his shirt off as she kissed the scar on his chest. He ran his hands up underneath her tank top and pushed it up over her head. Then he reached his hands down to her waist and lifted her to him so that his mouth was at her neck moving down between her breasts and…
They both jumped at the knock on the door. “What?” he yelled to whoever it was. He eased her down slowly, enjoying the feeling of her body moving down his.
“Maybe they’ll go away if we ignore them.”
“Too late.” He pulled his shirt back on. He grabbed her chin and leaned down to kiss her once more before leaving to answer the knock on the door.
She reached to grab her top off the floor and took a few deep breaths as she put it back on. Buffy ran her hand through her hair. She tasted blood in her mouth. She couldn’t remember the last time he had kissed her like that. Had he ever kissed her like that? Hard and hungry.
“Hey, Buffy. Sorry if I came at a bad time.” Graham came into the room.
Riley followed him in and sat on the edge of the couch. He folded his arms against his chest. “You have a reason for being here?” The words had a harsh edge. The rage had eased a little, but not totally.
Graham ignored Riley’s tone. “You may be out on sick leave, but the rest of us have to earn a living. I’ve brought some work home for you – you have a minute?” He reached into his bag and pulled out a laptop and some papers. One look at Buffy told him she had no intention of leaving the room.
Riley took the file from Graham. He was having a hard enough time remembering where he worked, let alone what project he was in the middle of. He glanced through the papers and tried to close his mind off to the invading visions.
Graham said, “We’re still working on a history of the Belize mission. The new training program is almost finished but we need you to fill out some details.”
Riley vaguely remembered sitting around some table and talking about the demons in the jungle. His training kicked in – he was used to following orders. “What am I supposed to be doing with this stuff?”
“I’ve given them a basic outline of the first three months, but we’ll need you to flesh it out, and I don’t know what happened after I left. You’re the only one who was in the caves when the nest went down. We need you to provide those details. We thought you might not be feeling up to anything too physical yet…” Graham paused. He could have sworn he saw Buffy blush. “…but this will help us get moving again.”
“I think I can manage that.” Riley was still paging through the file. They weren’t kidding. It was pretty thin on details. “I’ll get this taken care of as soon as I can. You want to stay for dinner?”
Now that was more like the Riley he knew, Graham thought. “No, that’s o.k. I’ve got to get back to the Base. We’ve got some new recruits coming in and I’ve got some butt to kick.”
Buffy stood up to walk him out; she returned as Riley was putting the file aside. She walked over to him and put her hands around his neck. “So where were we?”
Riley pulled away. His mind was elsewhere. “I should get to work.”
That was her line.
Graham lifted the headpiece up over his head and stepped out of the suit. He walked into the room where the other men were watching the monitors. It was odd to be watching the scene he had just left, a little creepy even. “So?”
“Heart rate was up a bit; definite increased brain activity. Buffy’s doing something right.”
“Is he actually feeling something?”
“We think the brain will register whatever it perceives to be real. If he had punched you earlier, his brain would have made the connection that his hand should hurt. When they kissed, their brains both reacted as though it were really happening.”
“And the headaches they keep talking about?”
“Mostly a result of the sedatives being adjusted. Riley’s feeling more pain because he hasn’t moved in a long time. Most people don’t run two miles the same day they wake up from a seven month coma. So far, his brain is reacting in the way we had hoped. This may work after all.”
Graham relaxed a bit. This whole virtual reality thing was getting easier. “So now we watch?”
Green nodded, “We’ll see what happens for the rest of the day. Hopefully he’ll start working soon. Everything he types into the computer should come through on this monitor. We’ve programmed it to feed directly into the data banks. The whole program is being saved, so anything that happens will be recorded as well. As far as I can tell, our bases are covered.”
Next