this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items that don't warrant a page by themselves or seem to fit better here



chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page



audio files are best listened to  with the eyes closed !



the layout is done with the internet explorer text size setting at  largest  and with a zoom of 125%, and my text rendering is done for these settings though they should be somewhat tolerant of a zoom setting or two up or down


















it's


only


when


something


goes


wrong


that

you

get


to


see


how


it


is !
















formalism


the


substitution


of


appearances


for


reality


a


life


strategy


for


some !
















meaningless  ritual !


what's it to do with anything except passing the time !
















in fact zen , at least the real zen which in recent years has only been kusan sunim and kodo sawaki was celibate, tho i don't think that's practical nowadays, it's important not to be blind about women!


brad you are a long way from the real understanding that kusan and sawaki had, which of course is exceptional, today's zen is just a bunch of stupids yabbering !


there is a maturity in life which is the deflation of adolescent illusions !
















eileen writes :



our


love


is


two


dimensional





my


reply !



i

s


love


itself


three


dimensions ?


i

don't


actually


think


love


is


3


dimensions


however


believable


it


may


appear !
















i'll


tell


you

something


harry


i


will


never


forget


you're

a


mad


biting


dog !
















if


you


have


any


sort


of


artistic


eye


in


this


world


it


doesn't


want


to


know !
















out


spotlighting


in


the

mist


with

a


full


moon


then


gutting


the


wallabies


by

the


stream


occasionally


looking


up


as


the


misty


moonlight


varied


in


intensity


a


sacred


experience


:


o


)
















there's lots of claims in this world, little truth
















the


typical


male


completely


confident


about


know

ing


nothing !
















just


drifting


from

disaster


to


disaster


:


o


~
















you tell people there is such a thing as infinity and they don't believe it



it's

a


s


tangible


as


an


axe


and


they


call you


insane


which


is


true


of


course


because


sanity


appears

insane


to


the


insane !
















all


our


brains


are


in


our


guts


and


not


our


head


:


o


(
















sometimes


i


feel


like


i


am


experiencing


too


much


in


life !
















you


will


grow


old


and


die


and


all


your


tidy


boundaries


won't


save


you


from


anything !
















i


don't


know


how


many


miles


of


anywhere


i


have


been


today !
















message


boards


and


blogs


little


pits


of


insanity !
















message


boards


and


blog


comments


basically


you


are


on


an


equal


footing


with


a


bunch


of


shits !



this


is


the


norm !



you


can


unequal


the


balance


by


being


the

owner


this


is


the


only


way
















sometimes


you


have


to


make


a


mistake


so


bad


it's


only


through


being


severely


hurt


that


you


see


the


problem !
















yeah this is what i found, that for all the talk no-one actually believes in infinity or absolute nature or whatever including the zen masters and that it can been seen and touched and be part of !


why are they doing all this training except to lose recogniton of what it is all about!


why am i here, infinity is leading me !


i don't know why i am here or where it's going or how long its going to last !


actually i can see maybe i will be gone now !


ye disbelievers and scoffers when you see it you know it and your sorts of concerns are not an issue !
















well if you can't see the monster in yourself.............



that's

a


start


what


do


i


mean


by


it?
















harry when you touch the face of infinity teachers seem kind of inadequate and wrong minded


i


can't


give

this


experience


to


you

but

you


are


obviously


far


from


it


and


you


needn't


be !
















shit


i


must


have


been


poisoned


by


this


stuff


it's


like


lancing

a


boil !
















john


loori


was


quite


schizophrenic


or


subtly


schizophrenic


he


didn't


like


anyone


altering


his


perception


of


reality !
















in


the


end


i


only


stop

because


i


get


worn


out


played


out


stuffed


out


:


o


)
















gniz brad's thing with monsters is appropriate, we are all monsters here


it's


an


autistic


paradigm


there's


no


right


or


wrong

against


which


you


can


say

a

thing


should


or


shouldn't


be !


that


actually


is


impermanence


which


you


can


see


as


you


get


older


and


more


and


more


out


of


sync


with


prevailing


attitudes !
















i'm really surprised that no-one  here  seems to have much idea what zen is actually about



i


quite


like


the


faith


mind


sutra


it


really


says


something


it's


not


abstract



 can you apply it to your posting here ?



"The Great Way is not difficult

for those who have no preferences.

When love and hate are both absent

everything becomes clear and undisguised.

Make the smallest distinction, however

and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart.

If you wish to see the truth

then hold no opinions for or against anything.

To set up what you like against what you dislike

is the disease of the mind.

When the deep meaning of things is not understood

the mind's essential peace is disturbed to no avail."



full version


there is something to understand and if you understand you will have facility


you


don't


just


throw


   attitudes !
















anon108  this is what i really feel at home with ! apparently i am replying to a trolley bus!


this really takes me back, i remember them in down town auckland with their huge swaying armatures !


actually for a trolley bus you are pretty articulate, but perhaps actually reading and attempting to understand what i say is a bit out of your area of interest ?


like most posters here you lack the basic courage to be yourself in a factual and not wordy way, namely having some sort of real life identity !


if you can't be yourself then i am not going to make sense to you am i, my stuff is written from a position of strong personal identity and if you are at all familiar with zen ........?
















everything i write is a useful paragraph on the nature of universal truth


wether zen comes into that sort of inquiry i'll leave as an open question !


who is being self indulgent?


the

one


who


refuses


to


   look ?
















mikael why don't you say who you are if words don't have a shit on zen you know



like


not


pretending


and


actually


doing

something !



what i have seen plenty of in zen is narrowminded hypocrites who who pretend loving kindness and behave something different !
















i


stopped


for


death


but


he


booted


me


out !


;


o


)




(reply to emily dickinson)
















transmission


what


a

stupid


idea


men


transmit


sperm


to


women


but


that's


about


it !
















that's


the


trouble


with


success


too


consuming !



at


least


failure


doesn't


consume


:


o


)
















emily dickinson is very elliptical (ellipsis!), took me a long while to get that, you really need to research the poems and the other surprising thing that makes a huge difference is to read, if you can her poems in her own  hand   with the true punctuation and spacing, it's just unreal the difference it makes, even the johnson edition of her poetry is OFF
















i


think

the


problem


with


advice


is


if


you


have


to


tell


some-one


to


do


it


they


are


not


really


motivated !
















typical anonymous, no courage of identity


a flake top to bottom, no brains or work


just clinging to illusions


about yourself !
















i think  brad  is coming right up against it !


his is effectively the ONLY uncensored zen message board


the


reality is

people like me make zen look insufficient which it is


so you need to censor to create the illusion of zen being worthwhile



so


we


shall


see


what


happens


if


you've


got


any


sense


brad


you


should


take


what


this


board


is


telling


you


you


are


in


the


wrong


game


i don't think


you

have


got


any


sense


actually


so


lets


look


forward


to


censorship !
















when


men


stop


being


blind


about


women


they


start


to


understand


things !
















it's


part


of


being


blind

that

they


cannot


see !
















midst


all


the


bullshit


and


fakery


they


are


startled


by


the


genuine


thing !
















the


inevitable


problem


people


have



is


they


are


unable


to


abandon


their


intellectual


investment


when


they


are


obviously


wrong !
















is


there


no

context


or


is


there


a

context ?


:


o


)
















i'm


not


enlightened


or


i


am


enlightened


or


i'm


not


:


o


)
















they


ape


the


form


but


the


content


they


can't


touch !
















when


i


am


on


the


net


i


ask


“ what


is


the


benefit


to


myself ”


if


it's


not


there


i


don't


do


it !


and


also


ask


if


these


people


are


friend


or


foe


and


am


careful


not


to


help


foe !


you


can


deal


with


foe


for

a

while


but


when


you


have


taken


all


the


benefit


you


can


then


cut


and


run !
















we are optimized to breed not think
















well they are men and egoic


unable to contenance any need for improvement and the way to go about it
















sometimes

a


negative


is


a


positive


result !
















it's


hard


for


women


men


do


much


better


at


being


alone !
















brad


warner


you


must


be

a


corpse


to


have


so


many


of

these


carrion

maters


around !



anything


live


they


cannot


stomach !


it's


like


message


boards


they


crush


and


kill


whatever


they


are


involved


with !
















flies


buzz


around

in


eternity

it


doesn't


make


them


of


eternity !
















daughters


like


all

females


are


so


expert


in


pulling


the


wool


over


people's


eyes


they


don't


see


the



wool


over


their


own


eyes !
















there's


toy


apocalypses


and


there's


the


real


apocalypse


:


o


)
















tomorrow


is


the


shadow


of


today !
















zen


wankers


just


look


to


the


original


face


you


will


see


it


blind


bloody


from


the


dark


cesspool


of


suffering


you


zen


frauds !
















anybody


can


see


despite


it's


claims


buddhism


is


just


another


religion


i


don't


know


what


neo-


advaita


is



crazy ?


i


suppose


it's


a


religion


to  !


a


belief


in


now !
















it's


important


to


write


for

yourself


an


not


others !
















rephrasing goethe


“ it


is


only


alone


that


the


soul


can


see


beauty ! ”
















keeping


half


broken


down


things


working


is


instructional  !
















get


there


before


you


get


there


you


may


not


like


it


and


sensibly


decide


to


back


out


: o )
















you


just


have


to


look


ahead

and


not


look


back !
















buddha's


just

a



bad


dream


you'll


get


over


it


:


o


)
















life


appears


sane


if


you


look


at


health

a

s


an


independent


variable


that


is


you


just


live

your


life


and


don't


worry


about


health


and

what


happens


happens !


if


you


regard


health


as


a dependent


variable


that


is


what


you

are


able


to


and


can


do


is


highly


dependent


on


health


the


way


99.9999%


live


is


insane !
















osip


mandelstams


wife


was


pretty


much


without


sense


and


he


didn't


have

a

lot


of


sense


either !


it


was


a malfunctional


marriage !
















women


have


some


pretty


specific


breeding


agendas


that


override


all


practicalities !
















zen is a failed paradigm except for sperm : o )
















the


old


persue


illusions


as


though


they


were


young !
















you


can't


go


any


further


than


your


brain


will


let you !
















always


constantly


moving


and


if


you


haven't


worked


through


it


properly


you


will


come


back


again !
















when

you


let


it


go


it


starts


to


go !
















john


keats


was


a greater


talent


than


can


be


said


:


o


)
















i


am


starting


to


be


able


to


cut


with


what


i


say


:


o


)
















apocalypse message board : o )


i have this image of the  commenters  here sitting around a table at the end of time, gassing shall we say ?
















the


way


i


do


things


and


my


priorities


just


makes


me


cry !
















what


do


you


understand


by


“ being


dead ? ”


i


don't


think


it's


really


understandable !
















both  keats  and dogen died miserable excruciating deaths in the power of others and if that doesn't speak the futility of effort and life what does?
















the


dead


never


reply


if


they


reply


they


are


something


else

a


fiction


a


phantasy !
















zen


you

walked


into


the


world's


most


sophisticated


trap !
















rosehips


wallaby


and


possum


thryoids


and


wallaby


bile


strange


metabolic


spaces !
















my


writing


is


like


ripe


wild


rosehips


a


blast


of


antioxidants


and


beta


carotenes


and


vitamin


C


shallow


pan


fried


and


steamed


VERY


NUTRITIOUS !
















if


you


can


understand


and


accept


you


are


mad


you


are


halfway


there !



where



is



that ?



i



don't


know !
















non-


human


can

give


rise


to

human


and


vice


versa !
















trillions


have


and


will


get


it


wrong !
















what


the


female


calls


love


the


male


calls


crucifixion !
















i


relate


to

dogen


because


he


was


a bit


mad


like


me


strictly


not


sane !
















no-


body


agrees


with


anybody


else !
















my reply   to





you don't know what the hole is until you have fallen into it !


we fall into holes all the time but never see it !


once or


twice in our life


we


see

it


and


what


it


takes


to


get


there !


then the perception


becomes


gradual


and


more


available !


what


does


it


take


to


get

there ?


abatement


of


self


in


different


ways


one


is


easy


others


not


so


and


more


circumstantial
















what


is


counter -


intuitive ?


when


the


fail - safe


mechanisms


don't


cut


  in !
















a


very


complete


checkmate


puts


the


checker


as


well


as


the


“ checkee ”


in


check


:


o


)
















dogen


limps


half


blind


he


can't


see !


there's


something


there


half


not


he


may


have


been


mentally


ill  !
















wikipedia


and


the


net


have

a


whole


counter


intuitive


learning


curve


of


their


own


founded


in


grief


i


am


afraid !
















you


may


think


it


but


you


don't


have


to


say


it !
















soften


to


myself !
















a


great


weakness


of


japan


is


incompetence



at


the


highest


level !
















you


can


enjoy


it


without


owning


it !
















To what indeed shall I liken

The world and human life?

Ah, the shadow of the moon,

When it touches in a dewdrop

The beak of the waterfowl.




translator unknown




Being-in-the-world:

To what might it be compared?

Dwelling in the dewdrop

Fallen from a waterfowl's beak,

The image of the moon.




translated by t. kasulis




my reply:



by


a


pond


the


moon


shining


in


drops


of


water


spilling


from


a


birds


beak !
















it's quite


fun


to


take


a


quote


or


poem



by


some-one


like


dogen


and


then


make


sense


of


it !




“ above all, don't wish to become a future buddha;

your only concern should be,

as thought follows thought,

to avoid clinging to any of them.”




my “rearrangement”



sanctimony smells


but


letting


go


of


wrong


ideas


is easy


when


they


are


seen

as


wrong !


this


is


an


attempt


to


restore


the


real


sense


which


is


usually


lost


to


us


by


changes


in


language


and


culture


you


have


to


understand


that


with


most


translations


you


are


not


reading


what


he


said


but


some

distorted


lightweight


version !
















dogen


is


imperfect


you


are


imperfect


i


am


imperfect


don't


elevate


one


above


the


other


that


way


lies


insanity !
















i


think


successful


marriages


are


made


by


couples


more


different


than


similar !


they


need

that


wide


span


of


skills


to


get


things


to


work


in


the


real


world!


very


affectionate


lovey


dovey


couples


who


are


similar


often


crash !
















just


keep


moving


   forward !
















there


has


been

a


step


change


in


entertainment


disparate


fractionated


more


volunteer


or


entirely


volunteer


with


small


incomes


and


the


corporations


written


out


of


it !
















i've


got


caught


in


a


dated


paradigm


the


new


paradigm


is


to


separate


financial


and


volunteer


interests


hard


though


it


is !
















just


don't


sink


your


time

into


the


endless


human


stupidity


available !
















when


you


come


around


for


the


100th


time


you


see


some


things


you


never


saw


before !
















i


know


you


think


you


know


better !
















what


i


can't


bear


is


that


some-one

will


be


making


a


living


out


of


my


writing


oneday
















zen


buddhism


is


quite


mad


and


can


only


come


from


a


lack


of


s - e - e - i - n - g


if


you


think


i


am


going


on


about


this


it's


like


a


bad

marriage


it


takes


quite

a


while


to


get


it


out


of


your


system !
















the


problem


is


that


by


the

time


we


learn


anything


we


become


old
















i wrote :


just ask yourself why people get so mentally crippled by zen ?



tattoozen replied :


because mentally crippled people come to zen looking for a cure. You got it backwards in my opinion.



my reply :


see how is it in fact ? what you say is partly true, but my real life observation is they get knocked down another step or steps with zen, easy to see with all the bizarre stuff believed, all that buddha fairy tale crap believed as real for a start !
















there


is


no


fixed


absolute


position


of


understanding


it's


all


process !
















swedish dude, if you don't write then you won't be able to develop like dogen


you admire his strength


well then be strong yourself, go where you don't want to go which is what it is all about !


there's something different about writing poetry , it forces the brain to handle meaning in an holistic way that breaks the boundaries and forces a super strong fusion of a new understanding


dogen


is


available


to


converse


with


if


you


know


how !



how to write a poem


just


a


few


words


on


paper


is


all


it


takes !
















how to write a poem


just


a


few


words


on


paper


is


all


it


takes !
















dogen


is


available


to


converse


with


if


you


know


how !
















there's something different about writing poetry , it forces the brain to handle meaning in an holistic way that breaks the boundaries and forces a super strong fusion of a new understanding
















you


can


tell


schizophrenics


they


are


schizophrenic


but


until


they


accept


that


they


cannot


partially


escape !
















schizophrenia is a lack of testing of hypotheses against reality


and these false hypotheses get entrained


sitting meditation especially allows internal hypotheses to get entrained without reality testing and this is actually what schizophrenia is


good  article  on the problems


just ask yourself why people get so mentally crippled by zen ?
















the


problem

with


charismatic


people


i


think


is


all


their


intelligence


goes


into


their


charisma


and

there's


very


little


spare !
















i'd


rather


burn


than


die

a


slow


death !
















husbands


and


wives


do

lead


separate


lives


to


some


extent !
















the


finest


compliment


that


can


be


paid


to


writing


is


to


have


it


removed


from

a


message


board


because


it


is


too


effective !
















brad, some very good posts of mine have been removed !


you


know


that

mediocracy


makes


itself


by

removing


what


it


can't


cope


with


you


have


made


yourself !


btw


all


my

writing


goes


up


on


the


web


and


you


are


pilloried


for


ever


i


am


afraid !


: o )
















pure nondual buddhism is schizophrenic !


and a bunch of crap !


people like you have such limited horizons you don't understand the limitations of translations for a start


i


will

concede


that


the


translations of


dogen


do


not


serve


him


well


but


he


has


very


clunky


fractioned



writing/expressive


style !


like everybody else religion hurt him and it shows


basho and wang wei and tu fu are far more expressive and better writers and expressors but of course your type just does not read around !


my honest advice is to write poetry yourself and you will get a better insight into dogen and buddhism's limitations and instead of just repeating crap you may start to gain real undertsanding !
















i


am


always


startled


by


being


me !
















you


have


to


be


caught


in


a


web


of


insanity


before


you


can


 be get


clear


of


it !
















the


internet


is


language


on


steriods !
















there's


a


lot


of


things


i


have


gone


through


that


i


never


want


to


go


through


again



the


endless


nuttiness


of


my


life !
















i


don't


know


what


solitude


is


talking


to


myself ?
















i don't think meditation is beneficial at all, all i have seen is that it inducts schizophrenia which is sorta logical when you look at what it is, deeper entrainment of pyschotic thought trains !


now writing is different, it gives enough persistence of memory to be productive !


i am all for some solitude though !
















what sells in e books is    teenage  angst  meets the vampire lover 


.99 cents


amazon take a third i think and maybe the writer only ends up with 30 cents after other costs?


the top writers makes $100 - 150k? p.a, maybe the third ranked makes about $30 - 40k?


niche writers for a large niche market



the whole boutique spiritual scene has been fragmented, its mass icons , tolle would be the nearest and oprah was a big help to him
















life


has


failed


before


we


start !
















i


don't


think


you


can


fail


at


everything


in


life


it


pays


to


get


a


few


things


right !
















why


be


a


failure


when


you


can


be


a


failure ?


there


is


some


ease


in


doing


what


comes


naturally !
















a real zen science fiction novel


well stanislaw lem is better than zen ever could be!  try the  cyberiad  !


he was the same guy who wrote solaris


where i think where brad warner is good is not scripts , or books or zen but he's a good popular visual artist !


i also think as person he's not too bad which rules him out of the religious side of things anyway


the one huge thing in brad's favour which allows him the feedback we never want to hear about ourselves is not censoring these comments, absolutely unique in the zen world which shows you how phoney the whole thing is that they cannot have an online presence without removing what makes them look bad


you are getting older brad, tolle and byron have gutted your potential audience, travelling the way you do kills


does one have to say more ?


i think you would do well in advertising


the trouble with the net is that small timers like yourself are competing with the top of the bunch which at the moment is tolle and byron, half baked as they are but that's what the world pays for and pretty slick they can be too !


the last authentic zen teachers were kusan sumim and possibly kodo sawaki, been a drought since
















if


i


was


100%


honest


in


what


i


said


you'd


lynch


me


if


i


was


80%


honest


you'd


still


lynch


me


if


i


was


10%


honest


you'd


be


writing me cheques !
















people call me  homeless  kodo, but i don't take it as an insult. they call me that because i have never had a temple or a house. everyone is homeless. it is a mistake if you think that you have a fixed home


the above by kodo sawaki



my


reply



the longer


i


live


the


more

i


realize


this !
















it's


just


the


one


central


fact


getting


older


that


is


we


get


older !