I've been feeling baby pains lately.  It's depressing.  I am so ready to get pregnan t again and I know I have to hold off because we are still having trouble with bills.  Maybe I should rename myself, feathereds aren't generally known for being in heat.  Unfortunately being depressed ab out this that and the other thing has suppressed my sex drive & my desire to exercise without taking the urges for baby or weight with them.

I was doing really well for a while on my weight.  I was stretching and doing little weights and doing kicks to stretch my legs.  Now I can't seem to get up and I don't want to go to sleep before I absolutely have to--which means most often I don't go to sleep until after midnight and I still have to wake up at 6:30am.

Tomorrow is a work holiday.  We are all going to Mom's for BBQ instead of Lodi Lake.

I hate Wayne tossing and turning and bouncing and citching and taking up time and money and spece and attection.  I love him but sometimes love and hate are so close to being the same thing.