11.30pm:
How quickly things can change... If today wasn't the worst day of my life, then it was certainly
up there in the top 5. Last night me and Terra had this enormous fight, and this time it was actually a serious fight. In
the past, we've only fought about really trivial insignificant things, but this time it was actually something important,
and it was by far the worst fight we've had... I really think that she was on the brink of breaking up with me, some of the
things she said to me... I know she's sorry for how much she hurt me, as I am for hurting her. I really can't describe the
way I was feeling last night - kinda like my insides had been ripped out i guess. I've never seen Terra like that before,
it was like she turned into a different person, she was mean and sarcastic to me... I dunno what made her lose it like that,
I really don't...
We both said some terrible things to each other, the sort of things that you can't just forget about
and move on, even though you might want to. I know it's gonna take time to get over this, I felt so terrible today, a mixture
of guilt, fear and loss. I think our relationship lost something last night, I just pray that we can get it back again. I
hope that the wounds will heal quickly, because I don't want to feel like this any more...
I cried when I thought that things were over between us, I cried so much I woke my housemate up,
he wondered what the hell was going on... I always thought that we could get through anything together, that our love would
triumph despite all the obstacles. I still believe that, and if we can get through this and emerge from the other side then
I don't think there's anything that can stand in our way. I can't take another fight like that though, I just can't take it...
I don't know what I'd do without her now, i don't think i could ever really recover from it if we broke up, i dunno what i
would do...
I really don't know what to think right now, I guess I need a few days to really analyze what's happened.
There's one thing I'm sure of though, that last thing I want is for us to break up. I know that nothing is ever perfect, but
being with Terra is the the best thing that ever happened to me, she's made my life better in so many ways. She means so much
to me I don't think I could live without her, I really mean that. I love her so fucking much...
I can't really think what else to say - I have so many thoughts racing around in my head that i've
probably missed something, but i think i've said most of what i wanted to say... Here's to better days....
