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10.45pm:
3 more days... that's all i have to wait until i can relax and finally stop worrying about all the
millions of things i have to do right now, just 3 more days. Hopefully by the end of Wednesday everything will be sorted for
my going to america in august and i can finally look forward to a few weeks of peace. At least that's the plan... Of course
I'll still have work to worry about, but i can take that, and there's other things happening, ideas flying around that i need
to give a lot of thought to, important things, but they can wait, they can wait until i'm in america and we can really talk
about them properly. I just want to get all the crap out of the way and enjoy my final month in england before i leave, is
that too much to ask?
Stay where you are, i'm going to write more later.
1.45am:
So then, my dad just comes up to me and tells me that he wants me to get an email off the computer
tomorrow, get the phone number from it, call up the airline and sort out the tickets for when i go 2 america, and i'm like
"what? i thought you were sorting out the tickets?" and he's like "no, i want you to do it." OMFG! as if i didn't have enough
to do already, god, sometimes my dad just drives me nuts with his laziness, i have to do everything. grrrrr! Everything is
still fucked up right now, my life is collapsing from underneath me and there's nothing i can do about it. every time i think
i have it fixed it crumbles again, i'm not sure how much more of this i can take. i can't talk about the specifics, but the
number of times i've had to repair things. I hate this, i keep telling myself that it's worth it, or at least it will be one
day, but now i'm not so sure, the ammout i've been through as still i have nothing that's real. fuck this life. i really don't
know how this is gonna turn out any more.
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