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Many wonder what the strategic goals our secret society secretly is involved in. What do we wish to happen
within the world, and how are we going to make it happen? This page will tell you things we control behind the scenes, as
well as what we are striving towards in the future.
Things we currently control or are responsible for:
Green Froot Loops®
- Green Froot Loops® were instituted in the early 1990's as part of an elaborate plot to beat the Irish.
Eating the red
Smarties® last
- Eating the red Smarties® last was
also us. At first it was an attempt to see if we could get people to do inconsequential things of little significance,
but has since blossomed into a mind-control campaign against children to produce mental stimulants of various natures depending
on the colour type of the candies eaten. Possible streetlight signal training courses could also result from this.
Paper beating
Rock in Rock-Paper-Scissors
- When Rock-Paper-Scissors was
first introduced, Rock reigned supreme. It was originally a much simpler game where whoever picked Rock won. How
this game even came into existance in the first place, we may never know. Anyway, one day it was decided
that Rock should no longer hold the spotlight. That it should be overthrown by, of all things, Paper. People scoffed at first.
"Why, how could Paper possibly beat Rock? It's a rock!" they said. But lo and behold, Paper's day did come. It is a testament
to our power and influence throughout the world that we were able to convince people that a Rock could be beaten by mere Paper.
That apostraphe
between the two e's in Hallowe'en
- Ignore anything else
you may have heard about the origin of that, it was totally us.
Future Projects
Subtle Takeover of Sealand
- The Principality of Sealand, a proud and noble country, has for too long been a thorn in our sides. Some wonder how this is so, as we have had absolutely
no contact in any form with either them or anything even remotely related to them. However the world has come to notice that Sealand's business
sector - most notably that of information technology - has been booming as of late, and it is not inconcievable
that if they ever became aware of us they would use their vast powers against us. Therefore they must be stopped.*
National Cat-Throwing Day
- The holiday of National Cat-Throwing Day would be a boon to society at
large. Nothing could possibly show more love and appreciation for our feline friends than hurling them at a willing recipient.
Have words like 'Hatness' and 'Hattitude' added to the Dictionary
- We all think it is long past time. If Burninate can make it in there, so can we.
Add a Foosball Table to the Rec Room
* The Order of the Funny Hat has nothing but the utmost respect
for the Principality of Sealand. We respect the country for their strength and independant values, and wish them
to know there are no hard feelings in their total and utter subjugation
Enlightenment, or Best Offer
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