This page contains highly explicit programming code in the QuickBASIC language, which is a variant of the ancient BASIC language.

This material is not suitable for cowards.

If you are an invertibrate, please click here immediately, and you shall be taken to a safe place.

Or can we?

Right now, there isn't really any business. The only QBASIC Application I've written so far is Siggy. I haven't actually 'released' her, since I'm too lazy to finish writing the help file. Still, you're welcome to take a look.

BASIC types should also look into my quick utilities page, which is powered by VBScript. However, that means that it'll only function under MSIE3.0+. Sorry.

First,
Siggy

Program Description: Pretty tought to describe actually...You know that feature in most email clients called signatures? Well, this program let's you make a long list of signatures, and set them to change randomly (or sequentially) every time you send a message. So you can have a different smart-ass quote on every message.
Click here to download the 4kb compressed source code (.BAS File) requires pkunzip compatible unzipper to decompress, and QuickBASIC to run. Won't work properly in the QBASIC that comes with DOS	Click here to download the 40kb zipped .EXE file, which will run without any version of BASIC at all. You'll be in the shade, my man ~B)	And, for the real luddites who don't have a decent decompressor, here's the 18kb .BAS file. No compression, but still won't run unless you have a decent version of QuickBASIC NaaNaa...!

Why the [heck] do those darned cells keep changing size? How many interpretations of 33% can there be?

Now
Functions

Download this file. It contains 8 subs and functions. Only 2kb.

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updated 22nd July, 1998