Introduction to what this Site is about.....

The reason why I created this site is because I have OCD myself.....
This means I too know what it feels like to have people be unaware of what you are going through.
From a young age on it became clear that some of my behaviors weren't what you would call "normal". Only as a teenager did my OCD start to really interfere more seriously with my life and now as a 27 year old/young woman I find myself isolated from the real world on many levels.
For me this disorder has proven to be very debilitating..... but I am still trying.
You may wonder why I am not adding all of this under the section "My Story", the reason is because some of my OCD- behavioristics show through when I communicate. You may notice how I repeatedly mis- spell words such as suppourt, always put either 5 or 9 points, how I don't use Question Marks and will almost always write 1 instead of in full and will end every sentence/word with an ".".
I initially thought of having a dear friend of mine help me with this, but we both agreed that me showing who I really am, OCD included, might be more helpful. Hiding my behavior would be defying the purpose of this site.

Most things I have written, come from being a sufferer, and having been active in a suppourt- club on the internet for almost 2 years now.
I have always tried to hide from the information that was out there, partly because reading is not always easy for me and partly because I was scared this would just add new things to my long list of already existing rituals.
But working on this site made me have to look up some information, so my own views would be "backed up" by expert opinions.
I don't want to give any 1 wrong advice/information.....
More about the References I used to create this Site here.
The main purpose of this site was/is not to procure you all with detailed theoretical information, but rather to share with others what I have been trying to understand for myself for so long.....
This is why for some subjects, I tend to prefer to link to sites that already provide comprehensible and in- depth information.
However, being a sufferer that has been in many different therapy's, I do feel I speak from experience. I try to talk about the more human side of OCD, since I feel..... that's what will make the outsiders relate more easily and the insiders feel less ashamed/alone.
That's my hope..... but now back to reality :).
Please read the Disclaimer. for this site, thank you :).

I would like to suggest to those that have come here to get a better understanding of the disorder to look through the basic information 1 st. and just follow the order of the pages as they come in and to only then read some of the personal stories.
Reading these stories might show you what OCD does to 1's live in a more objective way.....
By objective I mean that what you will read will not be through the eyes of your partner/child/friend..... but through the eyes of someone neutral and I hope this will make it easier for you all to understand.
Being too closely involved might at times change the way you perceive things.....
OCD is not an excuse, OCD is not in our lives so we can get attention, OCD is not a choice..............

Maybe it's easier in some ways to think that it is a choice, that the powerless feeling we go through is only in our minds.....
But it's not.....
What we try and fight each and every day is very true and very difficult for others to understand.
No person can be blamed for finding our behaviors and thoughts to be illogical though, because of the simple fact that they are.
But whilst you look at them, please bare in mind that we feel them, live them.....
The urge/anxiety/fear which are at the basis of our behaviors/thoughts are what is making the fighting so intensely difficult and painful.....
We can't just "snap out of it", just "stop" or "let go".....
Even though in a way we can do all that, we only can by making a huge and exhausting effort.
Not giving in is a decision, sure..... but what follows this decision is incredibly scary and demands all of our attention and energy.........
When you confront your fears you can find yourself experiencing a Panic Attack. Maybe you don't know what having a panic attack means, you may not realize how scary it feels to start Hyperventilating, you feel dizzy..... your sight blurs, you have sweaty palms, you feel like the world is tumbling down on you, or you think you will die or that something awful is going to happen to you or someone you love........................
When you have never experienced this, it may seem absurd or exaggerated.....
Maybe..... but it's petrifying to us.........
Of course, everyone will react differently and depending on what you are trying to resist, this will be more or less severe.
But in all will we be left with a nagging feeling of not having done something correctly and with many questions on our mind and anxiety that is seemingly telling us to come on, just do this so things can go back to normal..... for a short while anyway.
Now remember, this is only from a human point of view I am talking here..... I haven't even started to tell or inform you that OCD is based on a chemical imbalance in the brain.
A combination that is truly tough to find a solution for.........
But people do get better from OCD, there is hope.........

This site is not a plea to feel sorry for us, this is not me trying to show you how hard OCD is on us and so you should therefore indulge us.
This is me, someone who has had OCD for many years now, who would like try to help you understand.
In combination with the Experiences of others I hope I will succeed in doing just that.
Objectivity is nearly impossible, all experiences are subjective.
But I think no 1 of us asks to feel sorry for us, we just would like the world to see that this is a true and debilitating disorder that we can't just ignore.
I can tell you, if we could ignore it, we would be the 1 st. to do so..... :).
I truly hope you will get something out of this site.....
Read the information and stories with an open and accepting mind.....
No prejudices just the willingness to try and understand..... :).

Thank you for having made the 1 st. steps.........
Take care :),
Sarah.