Six Degrees of Stupidity
"You remember that movie where Harrison Ford played that
guy?"
"Indiana Jones?"
"No, no! He was that guy and he was, like, really smart."
"Regarding Henry?"
"Noooooo.
He did all that stuff and there was, like, this picture."
"Star Wars! Witness? Air Force One?"
"There was this girl
and his wife was there and she was in this house and she was dead."
"The Fugitive?"
"No, the girl was dead, not his
wife."
"When he was in Paris and his wife gets kidnapped?"
"No. She's like a ghost or something."
"Who plays her?"
"That real skinny girl."
"Uhhhhh......Twiggy?"
"No, younger!"
"Kate Jackson"
"Kate Jackson? Where did
that come from? No, she was a blonde."
"Kate Capshaw."
"No! I said skinny!"
"Reese Witherspoon?"
"She was
his wife, not his granddaughter."
"And she was a ghost?"
"Or something like that."
"OH! Michelle Pfeifer?"
"Yeah!
It was What's Underneath."
"You mean What LIES Beneath."
"No."
"That was what it was called."
"Not this one.
It was What's UNDERneath."
"Ok, whatever."
Dream A Little Dream Part I
I had a dream that there was like this Quantum Particle Accelerator
Something and it was in an observatory and what it did was take these random molecules of dust or whatever and shoot them
into space and then track them using sophisticated equipment and complex progressive algorithms. It was a technological marvel.
So my friends and I decided to see what would happen if we put a pencil in it. It was cool. It shot up into space
and landed in the desert like Australia or something and made this big mushroom cloud. And then we tried a marble and an eraser
and a full can of beer. The marble just left the earth's orbit but everything else was hitting all over. Then we were trying
to figure out a way to put this big recliner in it, but I woke up.
