Damien Creame
Should be dead.

Jimmy
Might as well be dead, a patio expert who was a member of the SAS & SBS combined (just joining one of these crack units was not hard enough for Jimmy so he joined them both!), he gave his all in the defence of the impossible.


Yellowman (One foot in the grave)
Pronounced clinically dead by Jimmy, he was seen walking up the road a day later.

Onion
Formed the  Whan Tu movement, he planned to topple the government, but couldn't be bothered to get out of bed. Made Saddam Hussein look like Bambi!

Mr (Sister de) Patsy
Undercover nun and ex-mercenary who blesses people with nails.

All characters in this book are non-fictional (any resemblance to any persons, living, dead and in-between is purely intentional).
 
MEMENTO MORI.