First Season:-

The Gathering
Tessa to Connor and Duncan
‘Hey, don’t say anything in front of the lady. Let me just go in the other room and crochet while you have brandy and cigars and talk about beheadings’

Free Fall
Tessa to Felicia Martins
‘I may not be able to kill you but I’ll give you a facial you won’t forget.’

For Tomorrow we Die
Darius in the confessional
‘Well, it’s not a sin for your mother to take your ex-boyfriend. Bad taste, perhaps, but no sin’.

Second Season:-

The Watchers
Richie: He’s there, they’re there, we’re here, nobody’s anywhere!
Tessa: You ever think of running for congress?

Prodigal Son
Maurice: They claimed I stole a chicken
Duncan: But you’d never do that
Maurice: Of course not - it was a duck

Unholy Alliance I
Renee: Ordinarily I don’t let strange men into my apartment.
Duncan: Unless you trust them?
Renee: Unless I have a gun.

Counterfeit
Richie, while dying, to Joe
‘Stick around, I’ll be right back’.

Third Season:-

Star Crossed
Duncan: Are you always this annoying?
Fitzcairn: Of course, it’s part of my personality.

Testimony
Anne: I think I ruined your shirt.
Duncan: Don't worry, it already had a hole in it.

Richie: I’d kiss you, but people might talk.
Duncan: They might.

Fourth Season:-

Double Eagle
Duncan: Stall her.
Richie:By killing her?
Duncan: Preferably.

Chivalry (there are a lot from this episode)
Richie: You know, one of these days I’m going to be better than you at something.
Duncan: Well you already are.
Richie: Oh yeah? Like what?
Duncan: Like erm...
Richie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. See?

Richie to Duncan
Oh and by the way Mac, in 400 years when we do race those starships? I’m gonna kick your ass.

Duncan:How’s Paris?
Methos: A lot quieter since you left.

Methos to Duncan, while in the dojo.
1) MacLeod San, that katana’s a lovely piece of art... May I?... I washed my hands this morning.
2) Not only are you naïve, now you are weaponless. How did you live this long?
3) Great! You knock me on my bum because I make a bad joke. Very Macho!

Richie to Methos and Duncan when finding Duncan with a sword to Methos’ neck
Hello... I take it this is not for real?

Methos to Richie
You dump her and then you turn your back on her?! Talk about the blind leading the visually challenged.

Methos: Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod.
Duncan:That’s who I am.
Methos: I guess someone has to be.

Timeless
Methos to Alexa
Because the alternative is unthinkable.
( A very close second in my favourite quotes of all time list.)

Duncan to Walter
I should take your head just to shut you up.

Something Wicked
Evil Duncan to tough guy in Joe’s.
Nice bat

Joe to Evil Duncan, who is tied up and struggling.
Guy could get serious rope burn like that.

Deliverance
Evil Duncan after getting shot.
Ow.
(I had to put that one in, it had me in stitches).

Fifth Season:-

End of Innocence
Richie: You guys know too much.
Joe: So I’ve been told.

Dramatic Licence
Amanda: She called me a cheap whore and a thief! I was *never* cheap.

Haunted
Richie: Yeah, well, I got a much simpler theory... I’m an idiot.
Joe: There’s always that.

The Ransom of Richard Redstone
Richie to Duncan
I dunno Mac. She drugged me, kidnapped me, tied me to a bed. If you ask me, I think that’s a pretty solid foundation for a relationship.

Sixth Season:-

Indiscretions
Methos: We actually make a really good team. We could be like Scully and Mulder.
Joe: Yeah, right.
Methos: Sipowitz and Simone.
Joe: Whatever.
Methos: Caligula and Incitatus. No, maybe not Incitatus 'cause he was a horse.
Joe: Will you shut up!

Graphics from:

C