A gasoline station attendant in Gary refused to call police for a woman
who had been robbed at knifepoint while  filling  up  her  church's  van.
"Use your cell phone," he told her.. . . .

There's no way to summarize the time zone debate in northern Indiana
-- you'll have to read it.
                                              [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

Five volunteer firefighters pleaded guilty to arson in Lincoln County.

                                          [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

A Florida woman trying to  walk  across  a highway was run
over by ten different cars (she's dead, of course). . . . A Mil-
waukee  man  was arrested for beating his girl friend  with  a
cactus. . . . A drunk in Santa Cruz, California, hopped into a
police car thinking it was a taxi.  .  .  .  Camden, New Jersey,
was rated the most dangerous city in the United States for the
second year in a row.  .  .  . A 37-year-old woman married a
15-year-old boy in Georgia. . . . Police dogs found a hit-and-
run suspect in a doghouse in Marysville, Washington. . . . Po-
lice dogs found a bank robbery suspect in a doghouse in Min-
den, Nevada. . . .  The Vatican's chief astronomer said "intelli-
gent design" has no place in a science class.  .  .  . The Kansas
Board of Education redefined "science" as  "no  longer  limited
to the search for natural explanations of  phenomena." . . . Sci-
entists in Sweden linked oral sex to mouth cancer.  .  .  .  Jose
Padilla was charged with a crime.

"Ruuben Rosser" sent us an e-mail titled "Freddy Very Useful."

Owen County is selling a square-inch parcel of land for back taxes.
A minimum bid of  $1,500  is required for tax sales; so the sale has
been placed on e-Bay.
                                         [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

A Lebanon man whose wife is surrogate mother for a Massachusetts
couple has refused to relinquish custody of the child. . . .

A Nicholas County student was suspended  for  urinating  in  the  high
school ice machine.
                                                               [courtesy Courier-Journal]

The Census Bureau revealed that Indiana ranks 37th among the states and
District of Columbia in households with computers (59.7 per cent)  and  in
households on the internet (51.2 per cent) -- just above D.C. in the former
category, just below D.C. in the latter.

Kentucky ranks 41st in households with computers (58.4 per cent), 42d in
households on line (49.9 per cent).

Utah leads in computers, with 74.1 per cent;  Alaska, on line, with 68.5 per
cent.  Mississippi is last in both categories with 48.8 per cent  and  39.5 per
cent,  respectively.
                                                                       [courtesy Courier-Journal]

The federal government has recommended that Knox, Perry,  Pike,  St. Jo-
seph and Starke counties be allowed to move to the Central time zone, and
that  Carroll,  Cass, Daviess, Dubois, Fulton, Lawrence,  Marshall,  Martin,
Pulaski, Sullivan, Vermillion and White counties  remain in the Eastern zone.
All the counties denied except Fulton and Marshall are west  of  St.  Joseph
(that's where South Bend is),  which was  approved  (and borders Michgan,
which is in the Eastern time zone).   Carroll,  Cass, Fulton, Marshall, Pulaski
and White, denied, are directly below St. Joseph and Starke, approved. Da-
viess, denied, is directly east of Knox (Vincennes), approved. Vermillion and
Sullivan, denied, both lie on the Wabash River but lie directly north and south,
respectively, of Vigo County (Terre Haute), which has not requested returning
to the Central zone.  Well, here, look at a map.

                [courtesy Courier-Journal, Indianapolis Star, New York Times]

A  sparrow  was shot to death  after knocking over 23,000 domi-
noes set up by a Dutch team on its way to a  world  record. . . . A
New Zealand school apologized to an Iraqi student who was dub-
bed  "most likely to join the army as a bomb"  in the school's year-
book. . . . A Russian woman and her teen-age sons were arrested
for cannibalism.  .  .  . British historian David Irving was arrested in
Austria for denying the Holocaust.  . . .  The House of Representa-
tives voted  403  to  3  not to pull out of Iraq.  . . .  Cindy Sheehan
was convicted of demonstrating without a permit.

"Hank Bray" sent us an e-mail titled "I soul your anglican."

FGDean@aol.com wrote Sun 6 Nov 2005 @09:10:24 PST:

Last week's was some of the dumbest Kentucky news
yet.  Indiana will be hard pressed to compete.

KFC ("formerly Kentucky Fried Chicken") has prepared commercials
to reassure customers in the event of a bird flu epidemic. . . .

Louisville officials proposed converting two public junior high schools
to single-sex academies (the ACLU protested). . . .

A 1-year-old Louisville girl was killed by the family's pit bull.

The Louisville city council "passed an ordinance banning
smoking in thousands of businesses excluding  only  bars
with  ventilated smoking rooms,  private  clubs,  tobacco
stores,  hotel  rooms,  Churchill  Downs,  flying  saucers,
donkey  carts,  and  pinochle parties in rented, ventilated
church basements attended by six or more Catholics."

               -- Bob Hill, Courier-Journal columnist

A seal bit off the nose of a South African woman trying to
help it back into the sea.  . . .  FEMA sent Louisiana a bill
for $3.7 billion.  .  .  .  Oregon officials forced a father and
son to give up a pet bear who had showered,  had her hair
blow-dried,  and slept in a bed at their home for two years.
.  .  .  An average American woman's breasts swelled from
a 34 B cup to 36 C in the last 15 years. . . .  Wal-Mart re-
leased a study showing that Wal-Mart is good for the U.S.
economy. . . . Voters in Dover, Pennsylvania,  unseated all
eight school board members who tried to insert  "intelligent
design" into the curriculum (Pat Robertson then warned the
voters that disaster might strike). . . .A woman robbed four
banks in the D.C. area while chatting on a cell phone.  .  .  .
"Wow!" said President Bush, looking at a map of Brazil with
President Lula da Silva.  "Brazil is big!"

Applicants for state certification  in  environmentally educational positions,
such as park and zoo guides, are being required to sign an "ethics" pledge
not to express positions on environmental issues  (such as strip mining and
global warming).
                                                    [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

A  man obtained an emergency restraining order against his wife,  printed
on a form and prohibiting her being within 500 feet of him "and his family."
The wife then obtained a similar order against him.  The result is that neith-
er can legally care for their grade school age children.

A  Baptist  preacher  immersed shoulder deep for a baptism  in
Waco, Texas,  was electrocuted when he took the microphone.
. . . A Flemish woman who called her husband a "lazy Walloon"
was arrested for racism. . . . Karl Rove's mistress was rumored
to have left him for a ranch hand named Rhett Hard. . . . A Dal-
las woman was arrested and charged $76,039  for nonpayment
of parkway tolls. . . . A buck deer crashed through glass into the
Minnesota State Capitol within five feet of the Governor. . . . An
Arkansas  man  killed a buck deer with his hands after it crashed
through a window into his daughter's home. . . . A Pennsylvanian
won a verdict against a girl friend who glued his genitals to his ab-
domen. . . . A Colorado man sued over having his ass glued to a
toilet at Home Depot.  . . .  The mayor of Las Vegas said graffiti
artists should have their thumbs cut off on television. . . . Earlsbo-
ro beat Hanna 112 to 2 in Oklahoma high school basketball. . . .
Christian Slater fell off Paris Hilton's roof.

                           [courtesy Harper's Weekly, Courier-Journal]

"Lara Roberson" sent us an e-mail titled
"how cloud you do tihs to a fienrd?"